Kaise shuru hua

Dear Diary,

Aaj main woh likhne ja rahi hoon jo kabhi kisi ko nahi bata paayi. Yeh sirf mera raaz hai… aur ab tumhara. Shuru karna mushkil hai, par agar abhi nahi likha toh shayad kabhi himmat hi na ho.

Meri zindagi ek ajeeb si uljhan ban gayi hai. Ek taraf parents ka constant pressure—exams, marks, future… jaise main ek machine hoon jo unke sapne pura karegi. Doosri taraf mera dil jo apni hi duniya mein phas gaya hai. Aur phir anxiety. Har din, har ghadi, jaise main kisi invisible jang lad rahi hoon. Haath kaanpna, chest mein chubhan, raaton ki neend ud jana—sab normal ho gaya hai.

Aur is sab ke beech aaye Abhimanyu Sir. Mere teacher. Shayad meri zindagi ka sabse khubsurat aur sabse khatarnaak chapter wahi hain.

Kaise shuru hua...

Sab kuch bahut normal lag raha tha us din. Parents ne bola tha ki ek naya sir aayenge jo mujhe ghar par padhayenge. Main nervous thi, thoda hesitant bhi, par bas ek aur tuition teacher socha tha. Kaise pata tha ki yeh ek chhote se class se meri puri zindagi ki kahani ban jayegi.

Woh din mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai. Doorbell baji, maine darwaza khola. Aage Abhimanyu Sir khade the – ek calm sa chehra, shaant awaaz, ek respectful andaaz. Unka style bilkul alag tha – na zyada loud, na zyada strict. Bas ek soft si presence jo room mein aate hi hawa badal deti thi.

Pehli class bas numbers aur notes ki thi, lekin unki awaaz mere liye ek suraksha jaise thi. Jab woh koi concept samjhate the toh lagta tha jaise mere dimaag mein koi light on kar raha ho. Woh mujhe “bacha” keh kar bulate the. Pehle mujhe awkward lagta tha, phir dheere‑dheere woh shabd mere liye ek comfort ban gaya. Jaise har baar woh yeh keh rahe ho: “Tum safe ho.”

Unka padhane ka tareeka alag tha. Woh kabhi chillaate nahi the, na hi mujhe neecha dikhate. Bas patiently samjhate. Mera room ek classroom ban gaya tha, par woh classroom mere liye ek comfort zone bhi ban gaya – jahan main apni anxiety, apni galtiyan sab kuch bhool jaati thi.

Aur yahin se shuru hua mere dil ka safar.Shuru mein main khud ko samjhati thi: “Nahi, Truvika, yeh sirf respect hai. Tumhara teacher hai. Bas.”Par dil ko kaun samjhaye? Jab woh ek baar bhi muskuraate toh mera din ban jaata. Jab woh mere haath se notebook lete toh mere haath kaanp jaate. Jab woh mujhe “bacha” keh kar gently guide karte toh mujhe lagta tha jaise duniya ki sabse special insaan main hi hoon.

Meri raaton ka routine badal gaya. Pehle main syllabus ya revision sochti thi, ab main unki muskaan, unki awaaz, unki aankhon ki softness sochti thi. Main imagine karti thi ki ek din woh mujhe apna bana lenge. Main aankh band karke yeh picture banati thi – main kitchen mein chai bana rahi hoon, woh akhbar padhte hue mujhe dekh rahe hain, beech‑beech mein keh rahe hain “bacha, chai meetha hai kya?” Aur main hans ke kehti, “Aap taste kijiye na…”Yeh sab sirf fantasy thi, par mere dil ke liye yeh sach tha.

Class ke dauran bhi main unki har aadat note karti thi. Woh kaise pen pakadte, kaise likhte, kaise har difficult concept ko easy bana dete. Mujhe lagta tha main unke har gesture ko ek chhoti movie jaise dekh rahi hoon. Har gesture mere liye ek new scene hota.

Unhone kabhi mujhe kuch galat nahi kaha. Woh sirf padhate, motivate karte, aur mujhe student ki tarah treat karte. Lekin main… main unke liye ek aur hi kahani likh rahi thi apne dimaag mein. Jab woh bolte “bacha, tension mat lo”, main apne mann mein sun leti thi “bacha, main hoon na tumhare saath.”

Mujhe yaad hai ek baar main exam ke stress mein ro padi thi. Unhone bas softly kaha, “Bacha, you’re strong. Tum sab kar sakti ho.” Woh moment mere liye bahut bada tha. Ek normal student ke liye woh sirf ek motivational line hoti. Par mere liye woh line jaise ek promise thi.

Aur us din mujhe realize hua – main unhe sirf admire nahi karti, main unse pyaar karti hoon.Mere liye woh sirf teacher nahi the. Woh ek khud ki duniya the. Ek aisi duniya jahan mujhe lagta tha main safe hoon, special hoon, aur loved hoon.

Dear Diary,Yeh shayad galat hai, shayad paagalpan hai. Par mera dil yeh sab likhna chahta hai.Woh aate hain mere ghar mujhe padhane, par mere liye woh meri zindagi ki sabse badi kahani ban gaye hain.