Chained Up [English]

His eyes were pinned in a picture on the wall, behind the woman that didn't stop talking about the apartment. They had already done that over the phone and didn't understand why he had to listen to everything again, so he wasn't paying much attention to the words, but would nod like he was listening.

He was still looking at the painting, lost in his own thoughts when he realized the silence was going on for too long. The emerald eyes went to the face of the woman and became aware that she was waiting for an answer.

— Can you repeat, please?

— Oh, I just need to know if you have any questions.

— No, no I don't think so.

Without losing her smile the woman turned around to take the key of the apartment 3B and handle it to him, Casper took it but his eyes were looking at his bag on the ground, the only thing he had left and hung it up on his shoulder, the vampire whispered a little “thanks” before start walking to the stairs, the elevator was broken and didn't seem to be fixed soon, judging by the yellowness of the paper with the words Out of service on it

Casper had the key in his hands, but a couple of minutes went by and he couldn't find the strength to open the door. He had a roommate now, should he open by himself or should he knock before? He knew that it was his home too, but it just felt wrong. He left out a sight as opening the door.

There was music coming out of the apartment but it stopped right as he put a foot inside being replaced by the sound of another door being open. Casper closed the front door behind him at the same time the other man walked through the corridor.

—Hey, new roommate, I’m Zeik, how are you? —The man extended his hand with a smile.

—Fine…I’m Casper.

The vampire didn't respond immediately but ended up shaking his hand without too much strength, as he turned his green eyes towards the face of the other men and the first thing he lost himself in was the dark gray eyes Zeik had, it felt like he could just stare into them forever, lost in time. Quickly turned his eyes to the rest of the face, trying to bury the feeling, he had dark hair, not quite black but really dark, his body was a bit shorter but much stronger and broad, there was a shadow of a bear that had been shaved a couple of days before.

—A tight-lipped man uh, well, I can show you the apartment if you want. —Zeik looked around and shrugged his shoulders. —It isn't a mansion but a tour is always nice.

—Sure…if it makes you happy. —The vampire was more harsh that he actually wanted to sound and right as he ended up talking he kind of regretted it.

Luckily Zeik didn't say anything about it and just turned around walking through the corridor again, he stopped at the first door, it had a translucent glass with a wooden frame. Before Casper followed him, he left the bag on the floor, next to the front door.

—This is the living room, I think we both get on the sofa but if you want we can buy a bigger one.

The sofa wasn't very big and the vampire didn't need to sit down on it to know that both men didn’t fit comfortably. Thinking about how aggressive he had sounded before Casper decided to let Zeik do the talking.

The next door was the bathroom, it wasn't very spacious, it had a shower, a toilet and a sink, there was also a mirror and a medicine cabinet, but it was all they needed.

The last door of that corridor was Zeik's bedroom, which remained shut. The rest of the rooms were on the other side of the corridor, and Zeik was too tired to walk the hallway again, so decided to just point out the rooms with his finger.

—The door that's in front of us, left to the front door is the kitchen, and your room is the last door. I don't think you’ll get lost.

—Never say never. —Casper tried to draw a little smile but didn't finish before coming back to his frowny face.

He turned around to take the bag and see his bedroom but before he reached out his bag Zeik asked him one last question.

—Are you going to work in the Fine Print?

—You know it? —Answering with a question was a typical thing of Casper, a lot of the time he did it without even thinking.

—Yea, I work there, and I suppose you do too, if you are living here.

—Tomorrow is my first day.

—Some days are full of shit, and people suck. —he let out a sigh out of his nose followed by a light chuckle. — But we get along well, so it's easier.

Casper didn't have time to say anything before Zeik disappeared behind his door, he didn't lose time to do the same in his own bedroom. Like the rest of the house it wasn't very spacious, it had a bed, a wardrobe and a little desk. Casper left the bag on the desk and sat on the bed, he let his head down and covered his face with both hands, he really didn't want to be there.

He left out a long sigh before moving the hands away and looking in front of him. His own green eyes returned the look, the wardrobe had a mirror on its door, it was the first time he looked at himself in ages and what he saw made him feel disgusted. His dark blonde hair was becoming gray in a couple of strands, his green eyes couldn't be seen clearly, hidden behind a very pronounced eye socket which was decorated with very prominent dark bags. His nose, jaw and cheekbone were sharp like a razor blade and didn't have much skin attached to it, which make him look sick, like a fucking corpse.

He turned away, unable to face the truth that what's right in front of him, he left his body to fall down on the bed, and turned his back to the mirror. Close his eyes and tried to keep a fetal position pressing his close hands to his chest, wanting to sleep and never wake up.

When he woke up, the only light that entered through the window was from the street lights. Casper stretched all his body listening to some ‘cracks’ in his back and hip. Sleeping didn't do him wonders, all of his body ached and a migraine was starting to stab his brain. A couple of minutes went by before he got up and met his own reflection.

“I’m going to have to cover that”

thought to himself while he went to open his bag and take a couple of clothes out of it. He didn’t have much, just a couple of trousers, four t-shirts and underwear. Before he could finish the sound of knuckles knocking on the door broke the silence.

—Come in.

The door opened up, and Zeik was on the other side, he was wearing a black apron and a smile, he let his shoulder rest in the door frame.

—I’m making dinner, you want some?

—I…don't

eat

. —He hesitated, not knowing if that was the right way to say it and ended up showing his fangs for a second.

—Uh, I should have realized it, I just thought you were a little pale. —he made a little pause and pulled away from the frame. —Anyway I have a couple of beers in the fridge, in case you want to join me.

Zeik turned around going back to the kitchen forgetting to close the door so Casper ended up doing so and resting his forehead against it, debating if he should sit down with Zeik but couldn't make up a decision, he ended up turning around to finish the unpacking. He took the sweatpants and the oldest t-shirt to change up he didn't even take his shoes off before falling asleep, so when his naked feet touched the floor he lifted them abruptly, holding his breath and eyes nailed to the floor like he just committed the worst sin of all, it took a couple of seconds until a voice in his head said

“You’re not in prison anymore”

and he know it, he was free and if he wanted to walk barefoot in his own fucking house he could, he wanted to, like some symbolic shit, but the guilt was devouring him like flames inside of his soul, so he put out some old slippers and headed out.

Casper poke his head through the door of the kitchen and saw Zeik concentrated in the skillet and without looking at him pointed to the corner where the fridge was.

—The beers are in the door, would you mind taking them to the living room?

Casper nodded, straying silent. When he opened the fridge and saw four glass bottles of beer next to a red wine bottle, he looked at the label and realized it was an expensive one. With the beers in one hand the vampire used the other to close the door and stayed there, waiting for Zeik to finish. The other men end up putting the steak on a plate next to some mashed potatoes and turning off the heat.

They both sat down at the table of the living room, one in front of the other, Zeik was eating while taking sips at his drink, on the other side Casper was staring at the wall and his mind was dancing between thoughts, most of which were self-destructive talk. By the time the brunette had finished his meal his beer was half full while the vampire had practically emptied his own.

—I guess it sucks drinking but not getting drunk.

—Well, I technically could, I just needed to drink way too much in a short time. —He laid back giving the last sip, looking for a little more space between them, now that Zeik had finished eating.

—Casper, can I ask you something? —he had a smile drawn on his face, maybe to try to calm the blond who always looked at the brink of a heart attack. —You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable, I'm just curious, where did you serve your sentence?

From all the questions he was expecting, that one wasn't even in the top ten. He let out a sigh running a hand through his hair, the green eyes met the gray and wouldn't pull away, like a lighthouse in the middle of a storm.

—Here, in Foaklover, you?

—Same, which pavilion? —his voice was full of enthusiasm, like they were talking about going to the same high school. —Although I think it sucked no matter which part you were in.

Casper took his time to answer, like he was meticulously picking the words which ended up weird when he only said four words.

—I was in isolation.

In that second he broke eye contact, staring at the empty bottle gently swinging in his hand. He feared the next question, the brunette was getting close to a subject that he wanted dead and buried. A knot in his throat started to grow, making it harder to breathe.

—Fuck, for how long?

The vampire let out a sigh that he didn't realize he was holding and felt how his muscles relaxed a bit. His eyes couldn't face the other men so they stared at the ceiling and his hand let go of the bottle to start stroking his other arm in a self-soothing manner.

—They let me out a couple of times but on the everyday I only saw and talked to the guards. I didn't care that much to be honest.

If Casper were looking at Zeik he could have seen the horror in his face, his gray eyes wide open looking at the vampire face.

—Bullshit. —he stopped to let out a little laugh. —Men, if the guards you knew were like the ones I knew I would have probably fucking kill myself.

The brunette rested his right elbow on the table and massaged his temple unable to believe what the blond was saying, the only thing that came to his mind was ‘torture’. He wanted to ask a couple more questions, like what the hell did he do to be put in isolation for however long that was, he supposed it was because he is a vampire but, then why didn't they lock him up in his territory? By the time Zeik opened his mouth to ask something else Casper was already standing with the empty bottle in his hand.

—I think I might lay down again, I’m actually really tired and tomorrow I have to wake up early. So…see ya.

Zeik didn't have time to say anything before the blond disappeared behind the door. He threw the bottle into the trash and went to his room. He felt his body stiff and tired but he also knew he wouldn't sleep that night so he simply let his body crash on the bed, looking to the ceiling while his mind tortured him with thoughts that made him feel like a disgusting human.

“You are not a human anymore”

whispered a voice in the back of his head that he didn't recognize, although it felt like a stab through his chest he knew it was right, his days as a human being were in the past and now he was a goddamn vampire, not only that but also free, two unknown situations he didn't know how to manage.

Casper was so lost in his own mind that he didn't realize that he was biting his lower lip and only became aware of it when he felt the metallic flavour in his tongue, he raised one finger to his mouth feeling a little hole in the lip, his tongue went to his fangs tasting his own blood. A couple of minutes went by and the hole had completely disappeared which made him feel nauseated, wanting to puke and pull all of his skin off.

He ended up changing his position, pulling the knees to his chest in a semi fetal position, feeling dirty and pathetic, he let his mind belittle his soul, although he was asking himself if he still had one.

He was ten minutes early at the front door of

“The Fine P

(r)

int”

, he could see through the glass that there were people in it, so he took a deep breath before opening the door.

Behind the bar top there was a big woman with short grey hair even though she didn't look that old, she was with a cleaning cloth while listening to the other woman talk.

—We were on the sofa, watching a movie and I kissed her! I thought she would pull away and tell me to fuck myself but– —the youngest of the too stopped talking when she saw Casper entering. — Hi! Do you need something?

The woman had turquoise blue hair gathered in a high ponytail and her eyes had different colours, one was blue while the other was dark brown.

—I’m looking for Hanna…I’m Casper Malek.

—That 's me. —the older one came out of the bar top and waved her hand so he would follow. —You have to sign all the papers before working.

The vampire followed her in silence down to a door with a metal plaque with the word Administration on it, when she opened the door a small office was revealed. Hanna sat down behind the desk and started to look for the contract in the expanding files. Casper also sat down on the other side raising his left hand to his lips, he had the bad habit of biting his nails and anxiety always made it worse still he managed to stop and move it again to his lap. She didn't take long to find what she was looking for and left them in front of the man next to a pen.

—It's the same I told you on the phone but take your time to read it all, no problem.

—No…I don't have much of a choice either way. —He took the pen while getting an overview up till the part that it asked for his signature.

—I know this is hard, that's why I want you to know that you can stay all you need.

Once he ended up signing all of the papers he gave them back without making eye contact, the blond knew she had good intentions but her words only made him feel even more guilty, he was benefiting from something he didn't deserve, like a parasite that refused to die. Anybody else deserved that opportunity before him, he was stealing it from someone better.

—You told me you’ve worked like a waiter before, so I don't have much explaining to do. You’ll be taking turns with Ariadne, the girl with the blue hair so she’ll show you around. —the woman got up, took an apron and opened the door. —You’ll have to wear this.

Casper took it and nodded in an affirmative way and left the room while knowing the apron to his back and looking for the younger girl from before. He reached the salon and saw the woman behind the bar top opening the cash register but as she heard the footsteps of the man she turned around her stare and smiled at him showing her teeth, her front teeth were slightly apart which actually look really good on her.

—Hanna has told me that I’m taking turns- —Before he could finish, the woman interrupted him.

—I’m Ariadne, nice to meet you. —She extended her hand with a smile still on her face.

Casper shook it, punching himself in his mind for not asking nor presenting himself in a proper manner.

“You fucking moron, you don't even know how to have manners anymore, dumbass piece of shit.”

The voice in his mind was screaming at him, years without much human interaction had rusted his social abilities, although he never was a people person.

—Casper, a pleasure. —His voice sounded with less confidence than he had planned.

—Look, that door, the one with the ‘Private’ plate is the locker room, we all use it but almost never have to use it all at the same time. —she paused and pointed at the bar top.— We take turns but I have a preference. You have a thirty minute break you can take whenever you want. If you want to smoke go to the back door, we have an ashtray there. —she handed him an electric notepad.— Welcome!

After the six hours of work Casper was worn out, his apron was in the locker and he was putting on his jacket, it had a beer stain on the sleeve ‘cause he forgot to take it off before start working.

He looked for his pack of cigarettes in his pockets, when the tip of his fingers grazed the pack he turned around, putting a cigarette between his lips and playing with the lighter between his fingers. Before he left the place he turned around, looking for the blue-haired woman.

—See you tomorrow. —He waved his hand before stepping out.

He listened to the voice of the woman shouting “See ya!”, and lighted his cigarette and started to walk back home. He didn't understand why he kept smoking, it cost money he didn't have and it felt like smoking air, yet he really didn't want to quit, it had become some kind of routine, something to do and dying of cancer wasn't an option anymore.

The day stayed cloudy and damp, for him it wasn't a problem, he didn't even feel it, he realized the low temperature by looking at the people around him, they all were wearing heavy coats while his jacket was really thin. Half the walk the cigarette was totally consumed, Casper saw a park entrance a couple streets away, he didn't have shit to do, so took out another cigarette and started walking towards the gate.

He was walking for a while until he saw an empty bench next to a small pond. In other times of the year it would have gotten ducks, but the cold was starting to freeze the surface. He sat down there, looking at the pond for hours, until the hairs of the back of his neck rose, he could feel the stare of some unknown eyes pining at him, stalking.

Trying to keep calm, the vampire looked around, but the only ones out there with this cold were a couple a couple of meters away and a little group exercising. Casper swallowed hard and took a deep breath, trying to relax his body, he was telling himself that he was being paranoid, it was just the hallucinations again and he needed to ground himself. But it didn't matter how much he repeated that everything was okay, a voice in the back of his head wouldn’t stop saying

“Just because you don't see it, it doesn't mean that it isn't there”

and a shiver went through his back. He looked around again, this time much slower and paying much attention, but the only thing that had changed was that all the people had banished, it was only him there, still the feeling of being stalked got bigger and heavier, like the presence was getting closer.

He could hear his heart beating against his chest at the speed of light, his eyes couldn't see anyone but he still felt like prey, so he got up the bench, trying to look natural. He put a new cigarette in his lips, and on the way to the gate he tried to lighten it up fifteen times but the lighter decided it's life was over, the flint flew to the ground, making the lighter completely useless. His first impulse was to smash it against the floor, he didn't have time to raise his arm when someone started gently tapping his back.

—Do you need fire?

Behind him was a really tall man, taller than him, at first glance he thought he was slim, not too much like Casper himself but not as broad as Zeik, he then became aware of his mistake, seeing that the body was way more fitter than what he thought at first. He had long black hair and brown eyes, but when he stared a little bit more in them he realized they had a red hint. He was offering him a lighter, smile on his face. At first Casper doubted if he should, but after not finding any logical explanation to decline, took it and lit his cigarette.

—Keep it. —the stranger hadn't erased the smile, looking at the green eyes of the blond. —You need much more than me.

The stranger started walking away, he had an elegant way of moving.

—Tha-Thanks! —Casper shouted so the other one could hear it, and with a second glance the men disappeared in the crowd.

Casper took a drag on the cigarette while looking at the lighter, it was a silver zippo, the motives on it were worn out by time and attrition. The voice in the back of his head screamed at him, telling him to get rid of it, to throw it in the pond and forget about it, but he told himself that he was being paranoid and needed to chill, so he kept it in his pocket.

He arrived at the apartment in record time, the feeling of being stalked like a prey had long disappeared but he could still feel odd about it. He was taking the keys out of the pocket of his jeans when the voice of Zeik scared him, letting go of the keys that fell to the ground with a light ‘clank’.

—Have you just arrived? —he saw the keys fall, so he knelt to grab them. —Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

—Yea….I was…I was taking a walk. —when Zeik gave back his keys, he opened the door. —I didn't realize I was out for so long.

—Now that you are free, it is normal that you want to stay out. —Zeik entered behind Casper and pointed at the bathroom door. —Do you need to get in? ‘Cause I’m going to take a shower.

—No, don’t worry…—he turned around, biting his lower lip, but before he took the first step he turned around again, looking at Zeik, who was ready to enter the bathroom. —Are you going to have dinner?

The seconds of silence felt like an eternity, and regret started to settle in his chest. He was about to tell Zeik to forget it, that it was a stupid question and that actually he just wanted to lay in bed. Zeik gave Casper a smile

—I’m not very hungry, but if you want we can have a couple of beers. It’ll be fun to get to know each other.

—Sure, so…let me know when you're ready.

With the smile still in his face Zeik nodded and got in, leaving Casper alone in the hallway.

Once in his room, Casper took off his jacket and threw it at the bed. He started to look for the clothes he used the day before to stay home, and saw them when he opened the closet, wrinkle up in a ball, while changing the vampire though of buying some new clothes, he couldn't wear always the same outfit. When he finished, he started to take out all of the things he had in the pockets of the jacket; the pack of cigarettes, the broken lighter and the zippo. He left the first two things on the desk and sat on the bed with the zippo in his hands, he kept having the feeling that he had to get rid of it, like it was a cursed item.

“It's just a lighter...”

. He ended up shoving it in the pants pocket before the knock on his door indicated that the other men had finished.

They both sat down at the table in the living room, each one with their own beer. Zeik still had the hair damp and it sticked to his face, he gave the first sip while Casper took out a cigarette and the lighter, he put it in his lips but before he could lit it up Zeik grabbed his arm, he didn't do it in an aggressive way but Casper still froze first looking at the hand that was grabbing him and later at the grey eyes of the other man.

—Sorry, but if you want to smoke it has to be on the roof. —he let go of the arm and give another sip of his drink.— I can't tell you what to do in your room, but in the rest of the house I’ll preferred if it was smoke free.

—No no, you're right, I should…I should have asked before. —Casper put away the cigarette when Zeik got up.

—Come on, the truth is that anybody go up there, we should be comfortable.

Casper didn't know if he should get up, he felt terribly selfish, but Zeik was already at the door and nodded at him so he could follow.

On the roof it was way colder but the vampire didn't feel the difference, he stepped closer to the edge, where the only thing that was getting in the way of a free fall was the railing, which was a little bit too short for Casper, reaching below the hip.

—It isn't very safe…—he lit up the cigarette, giving it a drag while putting the lighter in his pocket. —You could push me off and pass it by an accident.

Zeik had come closer, touching the railing with his fingertips. It reached him a little higher, making him feel a little more secure.

—Don’t give me ideas, —he let out a little chuckle and look at him, the vampire was side face and in the dark he realized he had a sad aura all around. —Will you invite me to one? The next I’ll invite you.

Zeik was pointing at the cigarette in the middle of his mouth and saw the confusion in the eyes of Casper, who said nothing and handed him one with the lighter. After litting it up he kept the zippo, passing it between his fingers.

—Is it yours? —he asked as he gently tossed it a couple of times, feeling the weight in his palm. —It looks like quality.

—I…I found it on the street, it's better than the one I got so…

Casper took a long drink at his beer and turned his gaze infront of him, avoiding Zeik eyes. He didn't know why he’d lied, but his mind told him he had to, it wasn't going to be the last lie, so maybe he need to get used to it.

—Where are you from? Legrurg? Crefrery?

—Fratprares. —he realized he had screwed it up once he finished so he closed his eyes and tried to wander the conversation. —What about you? You don't look from this place, how have you ended up here?

—There aren't vampires in Fratprares. —Zeik ignored the last two questions and gave him a confused look, until he started to put the pieces together. —You're

transformed

.

Casper's blood ran cold, he could feel his hands were shaking, the grey eyes felt like a crosshair and didn't have the courage to return the look so he gave another drink of the beer, thinking of how to save the situation.

—How old are you? —Zeik tried to sound more gentle, he knew all of this was a really complicated subject and didn't want Casper to close down.

—That 's rude. —the vampire tried to sound relaxed and ironic. —A lot….let's leave it there.

—I’m from Braikralo, it was beautiful, I don't know how it’ll be now but the last time I went it was destroyed, I hate how war obliterates everything.

Casper thanked the shape shifter for talking more about himself, he said that he had family still in Braikralo but he didn't speak to any of them and his only true family was Hanna and the people that worked in the bar.

They both ended up with their drinks, Zeik turned around to get back in, it was freezing cold and getting late, however he couldn't move one step because Casper was holding his arm tightly while staring at him. Zeik could only think that that man had the eyes of a puppy left in the rain, his heart skipped a beat when he realized he was finding Casper quite attractive, he couldn't put into words how that sadness and humanity looked really sexy from a vampire.

—Please Zeik, don't say anything to anyone that….that I’m transformed. It’s…really c-complicated…. —before he could go on, Zeik interrupted him with a gesture.

—Of course, it’ll be our secret. —the grip got loose and ended up letting him go bending his head down, like it was his way of saying sorry. Zeik put two fingers under the chin of the vampire and pushed up so their eyes could meet, he had a big smile on his face, showing his teeth. —But next time someone asks you, don't say Fratprares.

They both stare at each other for a couple of seconds yet it felt like time stopped. Casper was the first one to break the visual contact, walking to the door, his head wouldn't stop telling him that he was a pathetic man, a bastard that didn't deserve the kindness of Zeik or anyone. Zeik followed him, thinking that he wanted to know more, to ask more questions, but he knew that he needed to take it easy, Casper was a long distance race and was willing to run it.