On the Other Side
Everything felt so strange. I remembered closing my eyes as I died right there on the sidewalk of the auction house, but when I opened them, which was weird in and of itself, I was in a place I had been before.
It was the thicket where I had met my ancestors and saw Nan again for the first time in three years. If I was here, I was certainly dead, but at least I know that I tried.
I started to wander, recognizing the scenery enough to make my way down a slight hill till I was standing right where I had been before when I came last. I could see the tree-line where generations of my family had emerged from, but there was no sight of them and all was silent. I didn’t know if I should call out for them or not, but then I decided that all I wanted to do was cry as I dropped to the ground and sobbed.
I was dead. Not dead energetically, but dead physically and even though there was something after that death, it was without those that I loved and cared for on the other side and that thought killed me all over again.
“I should have fucking stayed home. They thought it was safe, but he got in so easily. How? How was it that easy?” I sobbed to myself, confused about how I had ended up here.
I mean, I knew how, but not how that specific how came to be. Now that I had the ability to think without running for my life, I found it odd that he was so easily able to hypnotize a singular guard and get inside, then find me, even though there was probably a scent trail...but I had been all over. It really seemed too simple and I found that extremely unnerving.
I guess my wailing and self-reflection on things alerted the other Broomwoods, because now they were exiting the trees, two by two, as my nan saw me and started to pick up the pace before she reached me and I stood to greet her, still crying.
“Nan, Nan, I’m so sorry. I tried. I really did.” I hiccuped through tears, burying my face in her blouse.
“Why are you here, Briar? How?” She asked me and I dreaded having to tell her.
“Nan...I think I’m dead.” I uttered, finally looking her in the eye.
This revelation elicited a gasp from the others and sent Matilda into a fit of wailing as they tried to console her. She knew. They all knew. If I was dead, the Broomwood bloodline had ended. Even if my mother was still alive, she was past birthing years and probably wouldn’t want another child to protect even if she wasn’t.
But for whatever reason, my nan seemed undisturbed by what I said.
“You’re not dead, Briar.” She assured me, patting my hand.
“No, nan; I’m dead. Orlok slit my throat, see.” I leaned my head back and pointed at my throat, but when I looked back at her, she just shook her head.
“There’s nothing there and you’re not dead.” She shook her head and her denial was actually starting to anger me a bit.
I tried to get her to see that this was serious, “Nan, are you taking the piss? I’m dead. Like, I lost pretty much all the blood in my body and then the lights went out. When I opened them, I was here. Meaning I’m dead-dead.”
Nan sighed, tugging me along as she beckoned for the others to follow, “I know you think that, but that’s because you don’t know everything. Once you do, you’ll understand.”
What did that even mean? Regardless of whether or not I felt like my nan had lost it in the here-after, I was going to hear her out and silently let her lead me into the forest, my ancestors behind me, as we wove through a path that took us to a destination unknown.
Looming in a clearing just ahead, I saw a small cottage, a roof covered in moss and flowers of all kinds springing forth from the greenest grass I had ever seen. This is where nan was taking us and I followed her up on the porch as she opened the door and ushered me into a space that was the total opposite of the cottage outside.
It looked like we were in a 19th century mansion with rich jewel tones, damask wallpaper, and all the fittings. Except things were very much occultic in nature and I felt like I was in an extremely magikal place. I was still quite baffled by it all as Nan led me to a sitting room and sat me down, the others gathering along the wall as they watched us.
“Now, I need you to let me explain before you ask a million questions. And that goes for the rest of you too. No one here knows what I’m about to tell you, but I guess I have to at this point.” Nan began, taking my hands again.
Of course, I immediately wanted to ask a question, but I kept my mouth shut and just nodded, the others agreeing too after some hushed words were exchanged.
“It’s hard to figure out just where to begin, but I will try to make things as succinct as possible. Your mother never wanted to have children and that is not a reflection on you. She grew up knowing about what we were, who her child would become if she had one. She never wanted to ascend or take possession of the stone and she swore to me that would never change. But she got herself involved in some things that inevitably led to you being born anyway.” Nan started with her explanation, but paused to dab at her eyes.
She began again, “She got involved with a man, an Infernal man who was part of the Nocturnal Knighthood. Now, I don’t know how much you know about them, but they were once in service to Baphomet under a different name: The Knights Templar.”
The Knights Templar. Suddenly, I made a connection, a link that I had overlooked and one that confused me. The Knights were involved with Baphomet, but Morgan had mentioned in so many words that they were actually a—vampire. But how was that possible if they were an Infernal, one that was able to make a pact with my family? And the odds of my mother getting involved with a group that had previously been in servitude to the same Infernal…
“Of course at this point they were known as the Nocturnal Knighthood, consisting mostly of vampires, but there was a heavy uptick in Infernal membership around the time. Your mother spent a lot of time at their temple, deeply intrigued by the being they now called master. She told me later that she had been considering membership, but because of what happened…” Nan had to stop again, her eyes distant. It was honestly starting to scare me a little and I really wanted to ask something, but I controlled myself and let her continue.
“The Knighthood is a secret society; what goes on in their temple stays there and nothing is to be discussed outside its doors, that includes who they serve. Not even the Order knew at the time, but we couldn’t force them to reveal who it was because of freedom of religion. Either way, your mother hung around long enough that she was invited to a summoning ceremony to meet the master. For whatever reason, that night, the Knighthood’s master took a liking to Sofia and she didn’t shy away from his advances. She was smitten and I don’t blame her, but it resulted in a pregnancy that she wasn’t ready for, one that she knew would change her entire life.” Nan stopped and I finally had to ask something because the anticipation was killing me.
“Who was he, Nan? Who is my father?”
She took a deep breath, casting a glance at those who came before her before she directed her attention back to me.
“Lucifer. Your father is Lucifer.”
My mind went blank. Never in a billion years would I have guessed him to be my father, mostly because I thought the stories about him had been mostly myth, even though I knew non-pret pagans who did honor him as a God. So which was it? Was he an Infernal? A Celestial? A...God? And what did that make me now?
“Lucifer? Like the Bible or something else?” I inquired, finally able to find my voice.
She sighed, letting her eyes flick to the ceiling before they were back on me and she replied, “All that Biblical nonsense is just fan-fiction. Lucifer is a God, Briar. An actual God.”
“Does—does that make me a demigod?” I had another question because I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Yes, technically it does. A God and a blood-born wytch created a baby, something that was unheard of before and even since. Gods don’t mess with Wytches usually, generally a conflict of interest, but Lucifer fell for your mother and I think a part of her felt the same way.” She answered me, looking like she needed to say more so I gestured for her to go on.
“I planned on keeping her safe in the city, but when Orlok showed up, like he had a tendency to do after his long naps, I knew she needed to get as far away as possible. I contacted the wytches of Wood Hollow, a coven operating as a small town, and told them I was sending her that way, that she was pregnant and in danger, and I needed them to keep you safe. Even though your mother refused to activate the necklace, she did take possession of it in a way, the stone allowing her to use it for protection only to keep you both safe. I resigned that why I may have still been Queen, I no longer had the power of the stone and had to hope that Orlok would leave the city when he realized that what he wanted wasn’t here any longer. I thought he’d never find her where I sent you both, but your mother eventually moved, thinking you both were safe.”
We weren’t. Mum had let her guard down, but I understood why. She thought we had evaded the trouble but it eventually found us anyway.
“I’m glad I know all of this now, but it still doesn’t explain to me why you keep saying I’m not dead when I’m pretty sure that’s the case. Demigods can still die, even though I know they are harder to kill like most preternaturals and have a tendency to live longer. But a slit throat that deep will kill just about anyone.” I tried to get her to see that this story was helpful in some ways, at least on filling the gaps in my life, but it didn’t really fit the theme of Nan’s assertion that I wasn’t dead.
“I’m getting there now; shhh,” She hushed me with a finger before she adjusted herself to get more comfortable and went on, “When you were about three, I was finally able to fly out to Wood Hollow to visit you and your mother. It was the first time I had ever seen you and it was such a joy to watch you play pretend and talk to yourself. But while I was visiting, there was a knock at the door, and when your mother answered it, I thought she was going to pass out.
There standing on the stoop was Lucifer, asking if he could see his daughter. She never told him about the pregnancy, but a God is bound to find out and since there was no real bad blood between the two, she let him in. He sat down on the sofa and watched you play for a bit when all of a sudden you got up and walked over to him, tugging on his pants. When he looked down, you handed him this little ducky with devil horns and told him that it was a gift.
I’ll never forget his eyes welling up with tears before he leaned down and whispered that he had a gift for you too before he kissed you on the forehead and your mother and I both swore we saw this light, a white glow when his lips met your face. We didn’t think anything of it and after a little more visiting, he left. As far as I know, Sofia never saw him again.”
I had met my father.
It was only once, but despite everything I thought I knew about who he was, it had all been a lie and from what Nan was telling me, it seemed like he actually might have given a damn about me, even if it was just a little.
“Here comes the part where things will make sense, but I don’t want to upset you,” Nan seemed hesitant as she spoke, studying me with a singular eye, “Do you remember what happened when you were nineteen?”
A lot of things happened when I was nineteen, but I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me what this was in reference to. A time in my life that I was not proud of and promised I would never revisit.
“I—I tried to kill myself.” I uttered the words, not having spoken that sentence in many, many years. Not even Sabrina knew.
Nan nodded, inhaling through her nose before she replied, “Right, you did. But what you don’t know, is that you actually succeeded.”
What? I had no idea what she was talking about. That isn’t what happened. I didn’t die, but I did fall unconscious from the cocktail of pain and sleep meds that I had taken, but mum had found me not long after and rushed me to hospital. I spent six weeks under observation with therapy before they released me...but I never actually came close to death.
“Nah, Nan. I didn’t die, I just lost consciousness and mum found me before it got too bad. They pumped my stomach, gave me activated charcoal, and eventually I woke up. Monitored me, evaluated me, kept me for six weeks, and then released me. I didn’t get to the death part.” I argued with her because I knew what happened. Well, at least the parts before and after I woke up.
“No, sweetheart, you died. Your mother came home late that day and when she called out to you that she had dinner, you didn’t answer. She went looking for you and found you in your room, deceased. Your mother was a nurse so she would know if you were or not and based on how cold you were and the color of your skin—she knew.” Nan had to stop here to wipe tears from her eyes, all the while me staring at her with incredulity. I couldn’t believe what she was saying.
“She called me in hysterics after she found the pill bottles and your note talking about how you were just a burden on her and that it hurt your soul to know she had to suffer because of you; it tore her up. I told her she needed to call the police and have someone come pick you up. She knew that they’d want to investigate and that meant that she most likely wouldn’t be able to go with you, so against my advice, she decided to hold off on that. Sofia wanted to bless your body and prepare it for the afterlife before an autopsy was done, so she did so before calling me back once she had calmed down a bit to talk.
I was consoling her, telling her that it wasn’t her fault, that I loved her and I would do anything she needed me to, when all of a sudden she gasped or yelped, I don’t remember which, and then she dropped the phone. I had no idea what was going on and was calling out to her for a solid minute at least before she finally picked it back up, crying again, but the tears were different.
She told me that while we were talking, you just walked into the kitchen and said you didn’t feel well. You were drowsy and disoriented, confused, but you were alive. We didn’t understand it, but she let me go so she could call an ambulance because you still needed medical care.”
I had really died. I had died and seemingly been dead for hours before suddenly...I was back. How in the ever loving fuck was that possible?
“How? How is that possible? How long was I dead?” I pleaded with my nan for answers, tears welling in my eyes.
“By your mother’s estimation, nearly ten hours. We couldn’t figure it out at first, but eventually we put two and two together and realized that it must have been the gift from your father. Somehow he gave you immortality, but we don’t know how it works.
You can die, technically, but you come back after the body does it’s thing. Don’t know where your soul went before, but it came here this time because of the stone. The other thing we are unsure of, is if this is indefinite or if there is a finite amount of times you can lose your life before its permanent. Either way, you’re not dead. Even if I didn’t know what I know, I can just tell by looking at you. The eyes aren’t right.” She answered me with a slight shake of her head.
“What about my eyes?” I asked curiously, looking at hers. They were green, just like mine.
“We didn’t want to put you off, but these eyes of ours are an illusion. Here in the stone, without our bodies, we become balance. We can still see into the living world and communicate if we wish, but we can always see the other side of the veil since we live in it. This fact is reflected in the eyes.” Nan explained before she blinked and her green eyes disappeared, being replaced with one that was milky white, the other a black void.
I could feel quite a few pairs of eyes like this upon me now and I scanned the room to see that all the others had the same eyes.
“Yours are still green. You’re still alive, just waiting for your car to be fixed so you can get outta here.” Nan chuckled, laying a hand on my shoulder.
I still wasn’t sure if I believed it, but suddenly I felt a little sick as something felt like it was pulling on my bellybutton from the inside. I doubled over for a second and coughed, but the sensation only grew and I let out a pained groan.
“See. I think it’s time for you to be born again. Just know that I love you, we all love you, and we are rooting for you. We know about the loop-hole you found in the contract and we are backing you all the way. Go home now, Briar. You still have much work to do.” Nan’s voice sounded watery as she spoke, the room I was in now dissolving around me like paint on canvas in the rain.
She was right. I was being pulled away from this world, but was it taking me home or did something else await me?
