Breaking Free

The morning started like every other morning in Maya’s life. The sun outside was a direct contrast to the gloom she felt inside.In the bathroom she looks herself over. Her striking green eyes are dull, and the normally vibrant natural red hair has lost its shine a long time ago. She flattened it every day now to make her fiancé happy, as he did not like her curls. She hated the look on her, but she dared not go against his wish. She is way too thin by now, her curves gone. Her breasts are still full and perky, her butt firm as her fiancé likes it. She works out four times a week, keeping in shape and making sure her body is as Toby wants it. She knows what would happen if she didn’t, and she enjoys the workout because it means she gets out of the house. 

She makes her fiancé Toby breakfast, making sure his lunch is ready. Make the bed when he goes to work, tidy the house and look after his clothes for the next day. She knows what is expected of her. She also knows what will happen if even a little thing is out of order when her fiancé comes home in the evening.

His temper, although he never has laid a hand on her, is on the more explosive side, and she wants to prevent it from rising with everything she has. Even if it meant only looking after him, and never herself. She knows she neglected herself for years now, but she’s gotten used to making excuses for him, and almost forgotten she has needs herself. She knows she ought to be more careful with her sleep, her selfcare, but she has nothing more to give at the end of the day. He takes it all. He has managed to isolate her completely, even gotten her to move far away from her family under the guise of a better life for them.

Today she knows better, but she can’t just leave him. Can’t face the shame from coming crawling back after 5 years with him in her life. He has taken everything. Her life, her self-esteem and her hope of a better future. But now? Now she may have someone else to fight for. Someone that is innocent in all of this. Someone who hasn’t chosen this for themselves.

She discovered it a few days ago by accident. She had chatted to a woman at the local super market as she was doing her daily supply run, who had commented that Maya looked pale and tired - a little sick perhaps. The lady had joked she might be pregnant and a test would be good for her. Maya had laughed with her, but inside she had started to think, really think. Could she be pregnant? She had bought a test along with her groceries, asking the cashier to not say anything to Toby. He had just smiled and nodded. The test was positive and Maya was scared witless. Not because she is pregnant, but because of the fact that she got pregnant by her fiancé forcing himself on her again and again, refusing to let her take birth control. She liked them being intimate in the beginning, but slowly she resented it and feared him. She learned to let it happen as he wanted it, thinking herself away. It didn’t matter though - this baby was going to be loved no matter what.

~*~

She had told Toby she needed an OB exam as a normal female check up thing the next morning, and he had bought it, luckily, but it had taken her time to convince him. At last, and after a phone call to his mother, he had conceded to her female necessities. Maya made the appointment the day after, which was a week after she saw the positive test in the bathroom. She had made sure to toss the positive test into the outside bin with the day’s trash, so Toby wouldn’t find it. Discretion necessary to keep herself and her babies safe.

“See those two little dots, Miss Adler?” The doctor asks, pointing to the little screen between them. Maya nods, tears welling up in her eyes. There is not just one but two little lives inside her. Two little innocent lives that she has to protect now. Her resolve hardens. She has to get the strength to get a better life for them all.

“How far along do you suppose I am?” Maya asks, nervous for the answer. The doctor does some more measurements before she answers.

“Well, according to these two little ones you are about 16 weeks along. That is far to have just noticed?” She eyes Maya, her suspicion confirmed when the young woman squirms uncomfortably. She is way too thin, small bags under her eyes and a pale complexion. It doesn’t take the doctor long to put two and two together; she is in trouble. “Does he hurt you?” She asks tentatively, drying Maya’s belly with the cloth. She prints pictures of the fetuses for her, marking them with baby A and baby B.

“No. Not physically.” Maya mumbles, embarrassed the doctor has looked right through her. She thought she was getting good at hiding her tiredness from the world. It was not that bad she kept telling herself because Toby did not hit her. She had it easy. Was she really lying that much to herself? The doctor quietly hands her a card with her information on it.

“If you want me to send your information to a new doctor for some reason or another. Just give me a call.” She says, watching as Maya pockets the card in her worn purse.

After the appointment with the doctor Maya heads to the stores before going home. She needs to tell Toby the news. She is walking in her own thoughts at the local super market when she bumps into Eliza, Toby’s best childhood friend. She is beautiful with her natural pale blond hair, light tanned skin and perfectly applied makeup. Today she is shining in a one-piece suit Maya knows Toby had given Eliza at Christmas.

He makes very good money as the regional manager of a high end clothing brand store, but he always keeps the budget at home tight. Maya has to have receipts for everything, which is why she had bought the pregnancy test for her own money. Something she rarely did, but sometimes she did - like when she needed a new car and Toby told her she could just take the bus, cycle or walk where she needed to be. She had bought it herself, for her own money, making Toby furious. It was not the car per se he was mad about, it was the action of defiance from Maya, and the fact she had dipped into her personal account to buy her car that had irked him. He had yelled at her in their home, away from prying eyes, berating her for making him look like a fool. Scolding her about the fact that she had acted on her own, but then he had gladly bought a car for Eliza when she needed one, or so she said. But not for her. Not for his fiancé. It was a joke and Maya knew it, but she didn’t have the strength to leave. Not yet.

Maya scans Eliza before giving her a fake tight smile. She despises Eliza as much as the other woman despises her. Eliza used all opportunities to show off towards Maya, making her feel like the outsider she wants her to keep feeling she is.

Eliza had been furious when Toby had announced his relationship with Maya 5 years prior. And then he had the nerve to bring the woman back home and propose to her. She knew it was all for show. She knew her Toby, and would get Maya out of their lives even if it was the last thing she ever did. She loved Toby and he and his family loved her. Why he wants with this quiet, boring stuck up bitch she couldn’t fathom. Toby kept telling her to have patience. He had a plan, but she was running thin on patience.

“Eliza, good to see you.” Maya says, nodding politely. She is too tired for this, but she knows everything is going to get back to Toby. Eliza narrows her eyes at her enemy.

“You look awfully tired, dearest. Are you not getting enough sleep?” Eliza asks, mock concern in her voice. Maya resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“Now that you mention it. No, I have been awake a lot lately, but that is only natural when you are pregnant, is it not?” Maya answers, finally having enough of her rivals’ jibes and backhanded slaps. Eliza’s eyes widened, her mouth opened in horror. Maya pregnant? She must have been cheating on Toby then because he had assured her that he would never have children with Maya. His future children would be from her, and her alone.

“Pregnant?” Eliza asks, her tone cold and calculated. Maya only nods and excuses herself. She doesn’t have time for standing around anymore if she was to have dinner ready for when Toby comes home. As she walks away Eliza turns on her heels, her cart forgotten and storms out into her car.