🌗 "𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤!" 🌗
And there he was.
Dr Ivo Robotnik, stood in front of the camera for all to see.
Making his message known on Broadcasted TV,
He's come to make an announcement - to all bystanders, to you and me.
"I've come to make an announcement,
Shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker,
He pissed on my fucking wife."
'Mommy?'
Poor little girl, she must've been so confused.
Who was this mysterious bald man, by whomst the shadowy hedgehog was being accused?
Where was the humanity in such a deeply enraged buffoon - who ever so endlessly fumed?
Why must he expose his marital tragedies with such blatant profanity - slinging all this insanity, dropping verbal nukes on innocent families, exclaiming excretory calamity with such shocking attitude?
From the dark, starry skies,
If you really were to squint your eyes..
A mysterious object could be spotted.
Shaped like some random asteroid, but hidden in shadows and mystery.
Will they ever know of the illicit scheme Dr Ivo has plotted?
Civilians were always unknowing - so here's a little lesson in trickery!
His announcement's going down in history!
"That's right.
He took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out, and he pissed on my fucking wife,
And he said his dick was
'ㄒ卄丨丂
乃丨Ꮆ'
And I said
'That's disgusting!'
So I'm making a callout post on my
T̶w̶i̶t̶t̶e̶r̶.̶c̶o̶m̶"
From the depths of the night sky it looms..
Dormant, resting death; frightened eyes pulled far from the main attraction.
Knowing eyes will scream 'Somebody stop him, he's blowing up the moon!'
As unknowing eyes murmur 'Distraction, distraction, distraction...'
Unknowing to knowing, many to few - you need not worry, it will all be over soon.
"Shadow the hedgehog,
You got a ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵈ ⁱ ᶜ ᵏ.
It's the size of this walnut except ʷᵃʸ ˢᵐᵃˡˡᵉʳ ,
And guess what,
Here's what my dong looks like."
(POOF!!...)
Then, finally, the floating asteroid object was revealed for all to see..
Two eyes and a large nose - somewhat phallic imagery.
Robotnik proclaims that it's the size of his appendage: press X to doubt furiously.
Anyway, things are really heating up, he's making quite a scene!
A blue light shining on the top of this death laser cannon thingy.
"That's right baby,
All points
No quills
No pillows
Look at that,
It looks like two balls and a bong."
With the happy, healthy, hospitality of people's lives torn asunder,
Robotnik's resentment, rage, retribution poised to strike them like a bolt of thunder.
"He FUCKED my wife, so guess what
ł'₥ ₲Ø₦₦₳ ₣Ʉ₵₭ ₮ⱧɆ Ɇ₳Ɽ₮Ⱨ!
₮Ⱨ₳₮'₴ Ɽł₲Ⱨ₮ ₮Ⱨł₴ ł₴ ₩Ⱨ₳₮ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮!!
🅼🆈
🆂🆄🅿🅴🆁
🅻🅰🆂🅴🆁
🅿🅸🆂🆂!!!"
The laser is then fired, slowly tracking and navigating towards its target..
Quiet and doomed, the lonely moon cries for help.
For this way, the impending laser beam of destruction cometh.
"Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth,
I'm gonna go higher.
🅸'🅼
🅿🅸🆂🆂🅸🅽🅶
🅾🅽
🆃🅷🅴
🅼🅾🅾🅽!!!"
Oh the tragedy!
For the moon was struck, shattering, and wailing in agony!
An expression of shock haunts bystanders' faces; 'Ah! This can't be happening!'
What a shame that it was - alas, their nightmares were an actuality!
Sporadic and shocked, civilian questions so clueless, inept :
'Tragedy?!?'
'Agony?!?'
'It's happening?!?'
'An actuality?!?'
Why yes, you'd be correct!
Poor bumbling NPC cretins, it's all so saddening!
"ⱧØ₩ ĐØ ɎØɄ Ⱡł₭Ɇ ₮Ⱨ₳₮, Ø฿₳₥₳?!
🅸
🅿🅸🆂🆂🅴🅳
🅾🅽
🆃🅷🅴
🅼🅾🅾🅽,
🆈🅾🆄
🅸🅳🅸🅾🆃!!"
The skies above were like a chamber, for within them, sounds were always captured.
But these sounds were almost reactionary, they always tended to happen after.
Echoing human voices could be heard; as the moon crumbled apart fractured.
But if you were to listen closely, all you'll hear is.. Amused laughter??
Truly sickening!
Peace and normality withers away, burning like it's money.
As the group of friends, at a loss for words, howled away hysterically..
They couldn't help but find the moon's tragic demise so funny.
So they gasped - then they laughed, and they kept laughing endlessly!
Until the moon was gone.
All traces of it went up in flames, only to be replaced by no one.
Reeling, failing, fading - with it went the murmurs of its history into the fog.
Are you proud of what you've done, Shadow the hedgehog?
"You have twenty three hours before the piss dropPplets hit the fucking Earth.
Now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too."
Then the bystanders ran..
Hahaha!
How foolish could the humans be?!
To think they could really just turn and flee?!
When in reality..
The laser of doom waits for nobody.
Then everything gets blown up into smithereens and everyone dies.
Except for Shadow, who miraculously survived.
The End!
