Mental

Chapter One/Before The Brainstorm.

Mental illness = the game.

People = cards.

Love = risk.

Growth = solving the puzzle.

Death = Gave up.

[Chapter One/ Before The Brainstorm]

At Home/In the kitchen

Ace: Hey, Mom. I haven't been feeling good lately.

He sits at the kitchen table and looks up at his mother, who's cooking.

Mom: Are you sick, sweetheart? What do you mean you don't feel good?

She drops her cooking utensils and goes into the medicine cabinet. She pulls out a thermometer and lays it on the table in front of Ace.

Ace: No, Mom, listen.

Mom: So you lied to get out of school? How cliche, Ace. I may be an old lady, but I know every trick in the book. Five children Ace, five!

She puts everything back and continues her cooking. Ace stands up and goes beside her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

Ace: Not sick-wise, Mom.

Mom: Then what other way? Spit it out.

She turns to look at him. Her tone sounded annoyed.

Ace: I've been very depressed. I feel sad, just not now and again. It's every day, I feel horrible.

Mom: That depression crap isn't real Ace! It's just laziness trying to stop you from being great!

Ace Monologue:

She always says that. No matter how much I try to explain to her. ADHD, anxiety, Depression, and being bipolar. She never believed in it. Even after my older sister on my dad's side died from suicide last year. She didn't care because it wasn't her child, and she thinks that if you commit suicide it was the demon in your head trying to take you to hell. She isn't completely wrong, but she doesn't get the full thing. I just want her to understand that people struggle with these things daily, not just me.

Ace: No, Mom, I'm serious.

He starts to tear up. His hands and arms convey his emotions, showing his anger and passion that come with his words.

Ace: I need help. Especially after seeing my older sister hang herself, my friend in a coma, you, and my dad's divorce. It messed me up badly. I only had Himiko to talk to about this type of stuff, but... She's gone now.

Mom: Well, that's her fault for taking the easy way out. Now she's in hell with the others who did bad things.

Ace: You're right it's her fault for how she went out, but it's not her fault for how people treated her.

He storms off to his room and locks the door behind him. He opens his phone and sees his wallpaper. He and Himiko are at the Waterpark.

Ace: If only you'd understood life had more to offer, if only you knew... even if you thought nobody was there for you, I was. Dead or alive, it's all a mental game. You just picked the wrong cards and lost the game.

Last year, Summer break/Himiko Pov

Himiko is lying in bed with her boyfriend, Rane.

Rane: Babe, have you ever thought about... You know, the nasty?

Himiko: I'm not ready for that right now. Let's watch a movie instead.

Rane slowly starts to get up from the bed, grabbing his things.

Himiko: What are you doing?

Rane: I'm sick and tired of waiting. If you want to continue waiting, leave me alone. I can find somebody better.

Himiko: Please, just stay. We can do it soon. I'm just not ready, let's... Play a game!

Rane: I want it now! Not later, so if you can't tend to my needs, you're just not the person for me.

Himiko looks down at her hands and then back up at him. She walks over to him and hugs him.

Himiko: Okay, let's do it. I want to make sure we're both happy. It was selfish of me to keep you waiting for so long.

Rane: Let's get it on! I'll record!

Himiko: No, recording. I don't feel comfortable being exposed on camera. Also, we're sixteen. It's illegal to record.

Rane: It won't be seen by the public's eye or shared. It's only between us and us only. Trust me, nothing to worry about.

Rane kisses her on the forehead and drags her by her arm onto the bed. The makeout is slowly turning into intimacy without a parachute. Himiko was uncomfortable with the camera but focused on keeping Rane happy.

Rane: Best thing I ever had! Time to get back home.

Rane puts his clothes on and gets up, grabbing his bookbag.

Rane: Well, I guess I'll see you once school starts back. You know- school shopping and all that good stuff.

Himiko: Okay, call me in the morning, babe.

Rane: Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll call you or whatever.

The next morning

99+ Plus messages unread

Himiko: What the hell?

Incoming call from "Haruna💗"

Himiko answers

Haruna: Are you stupid, Himiko?

Himiko: What's going on? I just woke up.

Haruna: Oh my god, Himiko, whatever you do, don't go on the school's page.

Himiko: Just spit it out.

Haruna: Everyone from our school has seen the video.

Himiko's heart starts to beat fast. Tears slowly drop from her face. She already knows what's to come but is still in denial.

Himiko: What video, Haruna?

Haruna: Come on, you know what video. The one with you and Rane, Himiko.

Himiko drops the phone in shock. Her mind was racing with many thoughts.

Haruna: Apparently, you weren't his first victim either.

Himiko picks up the phone and hangs up. She tries to call Rane, but none of the calls go through.

Himiko: The bastard blocked me...

She starts crying and screaming uncontrollably, and she throws her phone at the wall. Her mother walks in and sees her face red.

Himiko: I already know you've seen it. Just kick me out, call me what you want!

Himiko falls to her knees, and her mother looks at her in distraught. Her mother falls beside her, holding her on the ground as she cries.

Mother: It's okay, baby. I had the same thing happen to me. I understand how you feel. Just breathe for me, Himiko.

Himiko looks up at her. Their eyes meet each other.

Himiko: Mom, do you hate me?

Mother: I could never hate you for something... I did as well. You're human, and for your mental safety, we can move if needed.

Himiko: It's going to be on the internet forever, I'm ruined.

Mother: Guess what? My video will be on the internet even after I die. I was fifteen when it was posted. I'm thirty-six, over 20 years ago. People continue to bring it up. As a young girl, I know you won't think about it the same way I do. Trust me, you're not a skank, you're a victim.

Himiko: Mom, I can't keep doing this. I can't- I'm sorry.

Mother: Yes you can, yes we can. Finish getting ready.

Himiko: For what? Why would I want to go outside? Especially after everything.

Mother: Your baby brother's birthday party is today, you know Ace wants to see you.

Himiko: Ace... well okay. I guess. Only for him, and for him only.

Mother: Now, get your face together. Do your hair, and show him and them that this little setback doesn't affect you. Remember if needed, we can always move.

Himiko's mother leaves the room. Himiko gets up from the ground and goes into the bathroom to brush her hair. She looks into the mirror, the mirror allowing her to look at the pain in her eyes.

Himiko: Look at you, look you're a skank. Everyone at school has seen you naked. It will never go away, ever!

She slams her hands on the mirror cracking it. After a few minutes of staring off, she fully gets ready and hops in the car with her mom and older sister. The whole car is Himiko sitting quietly. Her eyes look lost on the ride.

Mother: Himiko, your brother is turning fifteen! He will be in high school next year.

Himiko looks at her with a blank expression.

Himiko: Yeah, amazing.

Himiko's mother continues talking, trying to lighten the mood that seemed dimmed. Himiko's older sister, Kiki on the other hand feels trampled by the obvious elephant in the room.

Kiki: Okay, what's going on? Mom, you're over-talking and Himiko isnt talking enough. I don't hold elephants, I let them be wild animals.

Mother: Um.. well, Himiko isn't feeling well. Anyhow, Kiki how do you feel about being a senior next year?

Kiki's face drops, her lip twitching. She looks over to Himiko, looking for an answer.

Kiki: Hello!? What's up? What's wrong? Tell me something?

Himiko starts to break down into tears. Both hands covering her face.

Kiki: I-oh, I'm sorry.

Mother: How about we let Himiko breathe. She's obviously not in the best mood.

She says as she grips the steering wheel, gritting her teeth together.

Kiki: I was just trying to see why the sun is setting and it's 9 am?

The mother punches the steering wheel and looks back at Kiki but keeps her face calm.

Mother: Let it go, kay? Good, now let's get Ace his gifts and go to the birthday. Sounds good?

Kiki: Okay, whatever. It's not my brother anyway. So I'm not getting a thing, except a bag of chips for me.

The mother turns her head and continues driving, obviously frustrated.

Kiki: I don't understand why I can't ask a simple question. I guess I'll just keep my dumb mouth closed.

Mother: Yeah, keep your dumb mouth closed. Please, and thank you lovebug.

The car falls silent until they get to the store. Himiko picks out a few things he would like and a gift card. Himiko's mom has her gift in the car. After buying the gifts they get to the birthday party. They see Ace and his mother, Mika

Mika: Oh, look... Ace, it's your big sister. Yay..

Himiko's mother pulls her gift out for Ace. It's a locket with a picture of Ace and Himiko as babies.

Ace: Thank you, Ms. Toshiba.

Mika: Oh, how kind. Surprised you, even got him something, Mira.

Himiko's mothugs Aceyes and hugs Ace.

Mira: Enjoy a happy fifteen birthday, Ace. Are you ready for high school next year?

Ace: Yes, Ms. Toshiba! I love my gift! Where is Himiko?

Kiki: Hi.

Ace looks at Kiki for a second then runs past her to Mira's car. He sees Himiko with her head down in the car. He knocks on the window and steps back. She opens the door and gets out. With a fake smile, she hugs him.

Himiko: Happy... Birthday... Ace.

Ace hugs her back tighter. He then lets go and steps back with a smile. Himiko takes out the few things she got him and a gift card.

Ace: Thanks, Himiko!

Himiko Short Monologue:

*We were just nine and ten yesterday. I honestly cry every time I see or look at you, Ace. Like, wow were both in high school, or going to high school. Already? Time flew by, I look at you and still see my baby brother, not a fifteen-year-old. I'm so proud of you. I love you, no matter what the problem our moms have. No matter the personal battles we face. Just don't lose the one I lost. I wish I could still be here with you. I would definitely do it over again, just in a better situation. A better mind state, A mind where I can get a piece of. I'm sorry for being selfish and leaving you. I was so out of my mind, that this was my last memory of seeing you. To Kiki, and my mother as well. I was the glue of the family, but I was just not strong enough to hold it together. I'm sorry I did that to everyone, especially you, Ace. I hope your glue is stronger Kiki.

(End of Monologue)

Himiko: You're welcome, now let's have fun!

At the end of the day they all go home. Himiko's mood is obviously being off the whole day. Ace catching the wind of her sadness, tries to cheer her up the whole time.

[The next week]

Ace is at Himiko's mother's house. He and Himiko play hide and seek. As they play together Himiko gets a call from an unknown phone number.

Ace: Come on Himiko! It's your turn to hide!

Himiko: One second, Ace. Hello, who is this?

Unknown: Don't worry about that. All I have to say is that... You're not the only one who's been done horribly by Rane.

Himiko eyes go wide she hasn't heard his name for a week.

Himiko: Yeah, I know. I was told. I just have to live with that video forever

Ace: What video? Who are you talking to, Himiko?

Unknown: Don't freak out when I tell you this. He did the same thing to me last year. Not only a video, but... I've also contracted aids from him. I suggest you get tested, immediately.

Himiko's face goes completely blank, her mind snapping. Himiko hangs up and looks over at Ace. She looks insane with no expression.

Himiko: Let's go back to the game. You count and I hide. Okay?

Ace: Are you okay?

Himiko: Of course, I'm just great. Now start the count, Ace.

Ace hugs her and looks up at her eyes with no light in them. She feels stiff and heavy.

Ace: Whatever is wrong, it's okay. I love you, Himiko.

Himiko: L-love you too. Now start counting.

Ace excitedly goes to a random corner and starts counting from thirty. As he does so Himiko goes upstairs to her room. The last thing she does is go into her closet. Ace runs upstairs looking for her. Fifteen minutes go by and he looks in her room.

Ace: Ima find you, Himiko!

Ace opens the closet. His body jumps, starts screaming from the top of his lungs. Kiki comes in after hearing him scream.

Kiki: Dude, shut the hell up! What are you screaming for?

Ace looks at Kiki, He's pale and in shock. He's shaking and crying without tears coming down from his eyes. Kiki looks in the closet and drops to her knees and screams.

Kiki: Mom, come here now! Now, Mom. Please hurry!

Mira comes into the room with her robe on. She just woke up from her nap. She goes into Himiko's room and looks in the closet. Her eyes fall, he body shakes, but her face doesn't seem surprised just disappointed.

Mira: My, baby... Himiko...

Mira goes into the closet. All you see is Himiko hanged from her neck with a pre-written letter on the ground. Mira gets her down and holds her on the ground. She checks for her pulse. After checking, she doesn't say a word. She closes Himiko's eyes and lays her head on Himiko's.

Kiki: Mom...

Mira: Make the call baby. She's... gone.

Ace sits there for a second. His eyes were red and puffy. He goes to the other side of her body and holds her hand. Thirty minutes later, all everyone hears is sirens. Ace stands up and looks out the window and turns back to Mira. He picks up the letter.

Letter: I'm sorry to all of my family. I let everyone down. I'll still love you, in the after and next life. Just listen to me when I say let it be purple.

Ace: Purple?

[End of chapter]