The Vows that Haunt Us

Fucking black tile hallways.

Always, always hated them. They were purposely built to intimidate, and they make it so. The Ministry of magic has long been a shithole of superstitions from the past, but these lowest levels are the worst.

I take a deep breath and step out of the elevator before it takes off again. Theo’s words keep ringing in my head as I make it down to the designated, heavy door.

“I want to save him too, but we can find another way! Please Abby, don’t…”

I flinch as I brush my thoughts off and wave my hand so that the lesser magic opens the door without a word. Well, if the hallway is shit, then the courtroom that seats the Sacred 28 is the bottom of the toilet. Another deep breath and I walk in the ginormous, round room as every single head turns my way.

Expected, I suppose, I shouldn’t be here.

Not for him, right?

No-one stands up for him, not even whoever is left of his fucking family. Guess that’s how he ended up chained in that chair in the middle of the room, with a dozen very hungry dementors awaiting to give him smooches. He doesn’t turn to look of course, he has no hope left in him.

I hate that too.

They snatched his hope years ago, left him an empty vessel to be used as weapon. Now they have the nerve to call him a weak, cowardly criminal. They dare portray him as disposable and in dire need of elimination. A dangerous lingering reminder of what it was like to be Voldemort’s follower, that simply refuses to fuck off to the afterlife on his own.

The heels I wore especially for this occasion click and clack on the stone floor as I keep my head high and take my grandpapa’s seat amongst the 28 designated ones. Why do I always need a fucking audience with these people? One of the reasons my first husband was a Gryffindor, I suppose. Slytherins are so judgmental, the only way to prevail is to be a lot worse. That I can do, let them come.

I will bite and hiss like the snake I am too. Will not let them forget, I am one of them. Maybe my years at Hogwarts where very few comparing, but snake it is, all the way through. What very little good there was died a long time ago, first with grandpapa and then with Freddie. Fuck, not a good time to reminisce of a dead husband that took my heart with him in the afterlife.

Nope, not right now.

I blink rapidly as I wave my hand again, my cloak coming off and neatly folding itself next to me. Someone behind me clears their throat as I finally let myself look at him. Dammit, I am immediately stricken with how thin he is, how tired he looks. Like he has already completely given up and accepted his fate. He was the same at his trial, even though I was not permitted to attend it. He made sure I would not, that being his only request towards the judge. Everyone thought it was cause I would have affected the outcome negatively, that he was scared and asked for me to be excluded like the coward they all perceive him to be.

He seems resigned, not even an angry or frightened expression on his face. Except for the silver eyes of course. Those are still alive and so fascinating. Where Freddie’s eyes were hazel and so kind, Malfoy’s eyes are silver and piercing my soul.

Malfoy finally registers my presence, looking at me with surprise, like he can’t believe it. I want to burst out laughing, it is exactly what I was hopping for. Matriarch Malfoy is gonna owe me a good one, when I find where the fuck she has been hiding.

His face slowly changes, now holding anger as he keeps staring at me. Malfoy even stirs uncomfortably in his chair, bad idea considering the dementors are practically getting high on his fear, ever restless by the minute.

“Madame Weasley, what on earth are you doing here?” The judge’s voice pulls me from my thoughts violently.

Malfoy doesn’t even bother to break eye contact as I turn towards the round, red faced, old wizard.

“It’s Dumbledore, your honour.” I respond in a cold tone even I can’t recognise.

I should admit that I have practised said tone once or twice before, but today it’s giving it’s best performance. At least my body is helping me with this.

Honourable judge Malcoms looks at me like I just fucking told him I brought a muggle with me to the hearing. I can hear everyone’s gears turning and frankly it’s been long coming to them. They have been left free to exploit their positions, bringing the government to it’s lowest. If Voldemort rose now instead of nine years ago it would make no difference. I cannot bring change alone, but this they do not get to do. Not if I can help it and they made me broken and angry enough to care.

“Pardon?” The judge croaks.

I sit more comfortably on my chair and decide to make the best of this charade, as I have come to shock the crowds. I even put my one knee over the other, how very unladylike of me.

“The surname your honour it’s Dumbledore, hasn’t been Weasley for quiet a while now, as I am sure you are aware.”

“Right, and what exactly are you doing here, ms Dumbledore?”

That’s more like it, you toad.

“I have come to claim a second husband.” I say smiling, no teeth.

Just like daddy used to say, show your teeth last, make them fear it. Daddy was a bastard, but he knew intimidation. And he most surely instilled it in me. Very useful around other snakes.

“You what?” Pusey almost falls of his seat screaming.

“Sit down Adrian, this isn’t that sad building you call your mansion. I have come to claim my betrothal with the Malfoy heir, and make him my husband.” I say while my eyes return to Malfoy’s.

Fuck he makes me sweat, I can practically run my fingers through the coating of disgust he emits my way. Facing everyone else is quite the challenge but I have overcome so much worse, I know I can do this. What do you do with someone you’re not even sure wants to be saved, though? Too bad, fuckwad, I have a main character complex and I’m saving your sorry ass. I promised it, and if I have to live with that regret, you have to live. Even stuck with me.

The tainted snake that left you for the lions’ den.

He is going to kill me in my sleep, isn’t he? Hopefully the vows my parents made with his still hold and we will not have to play war every night. Now he looks like he is going to explode, what the fuck? Does he really prefer a dementor’s kiss to me? It’s not like it’s going to be a real marriage, for fucks sake. I am so glad there a silencio between as, at least for now.

“You can’t be serious, ms Dumbledore! How do you even think to still have a hold on that, amazes me.” The judge exasperates.

“Your honour, it was never actually broken, you must know. Although very few of the witnesses from that night are still alive to assure it, but I guess we don’t really need testimonials. We have magic to prove magical pacts in between very old families, don’t we?”

Malcoms is fuming as he looks at the secretary in a manner that can only be translated as a threat. Well someone will lose their seat after this trial but it will not be the poor secretary, not his fault for sure. The employee takes his wand out and makes the magical movement with a frightened look and a trembling hand.

There it is, the faint, light blue glittering thread that starts tethered around my wrist and ends all the way, around his. Everyones eyes follows the movement of the old magic as it wraps and glows around our wrists and Malcoms might actually die of a heart attack. That would be one less enemy, although the next to take his place would probably be even worse. I hold my head up high as I look at the judge awaiting.

This is happening, they don’t get to keep him locked up for six years in that hellhole of a prison and then just decide to make him take the kiss. Not while I have at least one chance to save him. They promised to let him out eventually, even if it would be on permanent house arrest. But of course they didn’t like that, they want the Malfoy gold and that is not happening. No one else is dying cause all the adults couldn’t detain one psycho who was obsessed with blood purity.

Not while the children fought their war and paid for their negligence.

“Is this even a thing, your honour?” Someone asks behind me.

Malcoms stares at the tethering with a frowning on his face but doesn’t answer for a few seconds.

“Your honour?” The secretary persists, almost whispering.

Malcoms looks up to me now fuming, it makes me quiver in happiness. Too long have I let grandpapa’s seat empty for them. Too long have I been lost in my grief for Freddie, but alas he is not coming back. I loved him with all my heart, he was the only good thing in my life and I lost him in that fucking battle. Well they don’t get to dispose of the boy I hope is still somewhere in Malfoy as well. I just know he is good somewhere in there or decent at least.

He’s paid long enough if I can help it. I have been angry at him for so long, nine whole years and somehow I’ve still ended up right here across from him in a damn court room. The very old magic around our wrists, one none of us consented to, an ugly truth I have strived to escape for too long. Maybe embracing this fate, instead of running from it will at least help me get what I want.

What the decaying morals of the Wizarding World need. What grandpapa died for.

Malcoms clears his throat one last time and takes out his wand to finite the silencio. All eyes are now on Malfoy as I am silently pleading him to accept what I am offering. Say yes now hate me later, please. I know he never got over the fact that someone like Freddie prevailed over his name and riches, but he must have some will left to live. At least some.

“Well mr Malfoy, what will it be? Apparently you have a very willing bride waiting with a literal proposal in hand!” The judge says.

Malfoy looks at me carefully as he is thinking it over, I am sure. His eyes roam over me with the spark of detest, probably? Well, I am definitely not what he was promised anymore. I have put on a few pounds and am almost thirty now, but I know I am beautiful enough to pose as Mrs Malfoy. And even if I am not, he will have to take it. No family portrait of ours posing over the fireplace I suppose.

“I get to go home?” He asks finally, in a hoarse voice.

Malcoms nods and murmur spreads throughout the round space in seconds.

“Then yes.”

I seriously do not remember in detail the next hour. Malfoy was taken off his cuffs in seconds, the dementors sent back to Azkaban and we were shoved in a room and said our vows with the judge and two ministry employees as witnesses.

I remember coming out of that suffocating room and my heels clicking and clacking while I walked through the damn black tile hallway straight to the elevators. Getting to the fireplaces to floo out of there was a whole other thing as apparently every damn reporter of the Daily Prophet was already waiting for us. Not to mention the most unpleasant elevator ride there,where a guard still escorted Malfoy and me.

How the fuck?

I heard a few curses here and there, snake and whore were just flying of their lips as I took Malfoy’s arm and rushed to the floo. Gave them a very nice middle finger as we were vanishing in the green flames, just for the dramatic effect.

We step out of the fireplace in the manor, I have dreaded this moment for the past week. I had agreed to come and live here with him, but I was not happy with that at all. The manor is beautiful in a I have killed lots of people for this wealth kind of way, but I do not give a shit for any of it. To me it looks almost haunted, even the hallway we stand at now is dark and eerie.

Obviously I will use whatever influence his title and money could offer for my plans, but that is a side gain. The main thing was my promise to grandpapa the night he died to save this man’s ass from Voldemort’s wrath. Up to now I have failed that completely. Well, grandpapa did not die in vain, Freddie and Lupin and Tonks did not die in vain and I would make sure of that.

Malfoy grabs my arm and turns me to face him so fast, I barely get a hold of it. I almost trip, but he holds me in place while furiously staring into my eyes.

“What the actual fuck where you thinking?” He hisses into my face.

“You stink.” I note trying to say something distracting so I don’t fall into his arms like a stupid teenage girl.

This was the problem all along. No matter how much I loved Freddie, how much he made me laugh and I married him whole heartedly, he would always be my salvation. Malfoy on the other hand was to be my doom, if I gave in, cause I wanted him since I was a literal child. Since he was six and me almost eight. I looked at him and accepted the ancient tethering magic that night of our bond. Then I picked sides and run away from him, left him to the wolves. I knew he never forgave me for that, but I was a child too. Why was I to carry the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders and accept what my parents wanted for me? Wealth and a good English heir with a nice fucking manor. Good enough to house a purist cult, for fuck’s sake.

He lets go as if the touch scorches him, stepping back with a look of shame on his face. I know where to land a blow, husband. You just can’t stand being in an Azkaban uniform and wreaking, can you?

“I was in jail wife dearest, of course I stink, as you so delicately stated.”

Wife…fuck that hurt. I haven’t been called that since Freddie, this is a low blow. I want to avada him right then and there.

“Well you are now home, go freshen up as I do not tolerate filth and personal hygiene negligence.” I say waving an indifferent hand.

He straitens up and I have to crane my neck to look him in the eyes. I had forgotten how tall he is, even taller that Freddie.

“You will regret this Dumbledore.” He says slowly.

“Malfoy as of today, if you please.”

He narrows his eyes at me and for a sliver of a second his silver vanishes as his pupils dilate. Nice, I am now weak in the knees for a very smelly, former death eater. I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself and stand my ground in what I said. It’s weird all our shared history comes rushing back. I hoped to have sometime to at least adapt to this new situation before feeling anything but compassion for him. Instead I feel more ad more like a teenager again, I want to hug him tight and ask him all the things I have not had the chance to these past years.

He takes off without another word and I am left breathless in the huge, dark hallway. He seemed to linger for a couple of seconds before walking away, as if he had so many hurtful things to say. Thankfully, his exhaustion must have prevailed. Poppins pops next to me with a loud crack, making me jump.

“Damn it Pops, you wanna be a little more discreet?”

The elf stares at me with a suspicious look on her enormous green eyes.

“Missus room is ready, as per request.” She says and starts walking to lead the way in this labyrinth of a house.

“You had difficulties with the rest of them?” I ask quietly as I follow her.

Her big ears flip irritably as she doesn’t even bother to turn and look at me.

“Not once they realised you will bring their master back, miss. They waited for you all this long they said, hoped you will eventually take your place. They even had your designated quarters ready at hand all these years.”

Great, cause the weight of this duty can just add up to my past traumas, fucking fantastic. I did not think this through enough. The elves think they will have little heirs running around soon enough, might have even started knitting tiny socks and beanies. Maybe Pops explains them that this was only to save their master?

Maybe they poison my coffee as soon as they realise and we are done for it?

Poppins wouldn’t allow that for sure.

Hopefully.

We go past portraits and walls with dark brown and green wallpaper and candelabras and end tables with intricate designs. I have not been in this house for years and it has not changed one bit. Still wreaks of insanity and purity and nepotism if you ask me. I guess it’s what made daddy decide I would be perfectly fine in this place. Money and a good name above all for the snakes.

Fucking man, he never even gave me a chance. My mother was even worse, but enough with disturbing the dead for one night. Or else they tend to haunt my dreams.

We enter the quarters in the west wing and I see a beautifully decorated drawing room before me. One door on the right and one door on the left and a huge fireplace that runs almost up to the ceiling, a fire burning inside it already. It’s definitely very impressive but that’s all there is to it. Freddie and I lived crumped up in a bedroom in Grimmauld place for three years and were far richer than anyone’s been in this manor for years. I exhale all the heaviness of the day and follow Pops to the left of the room. She opens the doors to a huge bedroom with its own wardrobe, boudoir and bathroom of course.

“Lady of the manor’s rooms, miss.” she says and looks up at me.

In a way that says, well deserving and what the hell are we doing here at the same time. I roll my eyes, cause I’ve had enough drama for one fucking lifetime and Poppins can be annoying if she likes to. The perks of having a free elf raise you I guess, she has her very own strong opinions.

I walk straight to the bathroom and follow the advise I gave Malfoy, but with the addition of scalding water that hopefully washes away every instinct of mine that screams run.

I have learned to ignored that feeling my entire life, nothing new.

More that eighteen years ago

My mother holds my hand in hers, pulling on me to walk faster. There is almost no affection in her touch, only urgency and the familiar tremble of her fingers. She thinks I don’t spot it, believes I’m too young to realise what it means. She is not wrong, I am way too young, just an eight year old. I still know, I can smell fear on her like stench. It fills my nostrils, suffocating me.

“Abigail, it’s like your damn feet won’t work today!” She scolds, not even bothering to look my way.

“I’m trying mom, I promise!”

She turns my way so fast, it makes me freeze in fear. She might not raise a hand, but she never needed too. Sometimes her words hurts so much, I wish she would just beat me. Mama lowers her face the same height as mine, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Do you want to disappoint your father again, Abby? I know you cried all night in you room, like some wounded kitten! You better behave yourself with the Malfoys today!” She warns in a low voice.

Why is she so cruel, so unforgiving with me? She heard me cry and didn’t even bother to check on me last night. I can feel my eyes getting watery again, try to blink the tears away.

“Oh you ungrateful child, it’s like you’re doing it on purpose!”

“I’m not, I promise! I will behave, mommy please!”

She straightens up, assessing me with a strict look on her face.

“Valeria, what is happening this time?” My father calls.

He is a few feet ahead ofus, in this big field in the middle of nowhere. Has a habit of walking on his own, always a few steps ahead of me and mama. Like he sometimes forgets we are somewhere behind him, following. Mother jumps the moment she hears him, looking over her shoulder in fear.

“Nothing Percival, Abigail is only a bit too anxious to meet young Draco for the first time!” She responds, giving me a final warning look before she motions for me to start walking again.

I bite my lower lip with force, hoping to make it bleed. Anything to stop the tears she hates to see me shed. I cannot seem frightened in front of that boy anyway if he is to be my husband someday, mama made it very clear. Her words resonate in me, I could hear them even before falling asleep. Never let him see you for who you really are Abigail, just a frightened little shit, a disobeying daughter who only seeks to disappoint her father!

All of this because when they told me of their plans a few weeks ago, I started crying and complaining. It scares me that I have to accept this boy for my entire life, I don’t even understand what that means. What life, is he coming to stay with me, papa and mama at some point? Am I to stay behind with him and his parents? What if he is mean to me, hurtful like papa is to mama?

I’m only scared and they won’t explain anything. Grandpapa showed up the other day, I had not seen him in so long. Daddy won’t let him visit and he is the kindest one. I really miss him. All that I have been shown, every truth that I was spared, has only ever been from him. That other night he came daddy was furious, they quarrelled so loudly. I hid in the shadows of the staircase, tried to listen but mama found me. She sent me to my room, reminding me what a horrible and difficult child I was for eavesdropping like that.

I didn’t even get a chance to say hi to grandpapa.

We reach the main gate of this big, old castle and it’s one of the few times my father takes my hand in his.

“Smile Abigail, you are so pretty, make good use of it.” He reminds me in a clipped tone.

“Yes, daddy.”

He knocks on the very big wooden door using his wand and some time passes before it opens. An elf appears, almost folded over, wearing some ugly, dirty rag. It looks scared, makes me want to reach my hand out and ask it what’s wrong. We have no elves in our house, daddy says we can’t afford it. He says that after today, soon enough, he will be able to buy anything he likes. He says this union will benefit all of us, I will be secured for life. From what? I don’t even want to be secured if it means I never get to go home again.

The very thought makes my belly hurt and mama already forbade me to get nauseous. Daddy yanks me inside, ignoring the tiny elf, mama following behind us. We are led to a round drawing room with very high windows and green furniture. Huge paintings of white haired witches and wizards hang around the walls, a big fireplace burning on the right side.

“Ah finally, the Dumbledores! We were getting restless.” A tall man speaks and walks up to us.

He has the same hair as most people on the paintings and they are all staring our way. I feel like being watched for every breath, every blink of an eye. The man halts a few steps in front of me, giving me an assessing look over his nose.

“Percival, she looks adorable. Cissy, come take a look.”

“Abigail takes her mother’s looks, she will grow to be a beautiful witch.” Daddy responds.

He let’s go of my hand, giving me a soft push so that I take the few steps towards the man. I catch mama’s giggling on daddy’s words as I try very hard to keep smiling.

“It’s not only the looks she must inherit from her mother.” A woman drawls, approaching me.

She looks even colder that the man, her hair a different kind of blonde. It falls sleek and shiny on her thin shoulders, looking like a waterfall in the sun. She is very pretty.

“Are you an obedient girl, dear?” She asks me.

No.

I hate being an obedient witch, I hate her stupid, pretty face looking down on me. I hate daddy for bringing me here, for wanting me to say yes to something I don’t understand. And I hate, I detest that boy I am to take even if I have yet not met him.

I hate, hate, hate him and this ugly house! I want to scream and punch this woman on the nose.

“I am what daddy tells me to be.” I smile at her, threading my fingers behind my back.

The man next to her laughs loudly at my words, clapping.

“Well Cissy, there you go! What her father orders today, is to be Draco’s will someday. The girl knows how to behave, let our son meet her already!”

The woman stares at me for a while longer before finally nodding and stepping aside. A boy appears behind her, looking at me with curiosity. He seems about my age, taller already and thin like his mother. He has the looks of his parents but sweeter and maybe kinder. It makes me forget about being angry, this boy looks even more worried than I am. He takes a few steps closer, glancing at his mother over his shoulder as if he does not know what to do.

“Well, what do you think Draco?” His father asks him.

Draco, I guess that is his name, blinks my way.

“What do you think?” He surprises me.

None has asked me that, what I think. I’m caught completely unprepared, I don’t know what I think. I’m uncomfortable and I want to leave is the first thought that comes to mind. I shrug, not knowing what to really answer.

“Go on Abby, boy asked you a question.” Mama insists.

“Daddy said you have a big playroom.” I mumble.

The boy blinks my way again, his silver eyes brightening.

“I do, would you like to see?”

I nod, forgetting all manners suddenly. Maybe he is not that bad after all, I am curious to see what kind of playroom a boy in a castle could have. I hear our parents laugh in approval and they actually allow us to go to his playroom. We leave them sitting and enjoying their drinks, I follow Draco and his elf through scarily dark hallways. He makes sure to walk next to me, seeming concerned that I might stop following him or something.

“You have a big house.” I say, feeling very shy all of the sudden.

Draco looks around the walls, as if he only now realises how big his house is.

“It’s mostly cold and I get lonely.” He says, his cheeks red.

“Is that why you need a wife?”

“What?” He halts at my words, looking very uncomfortable and his face even more flushed.

I turn to face him, set on chewing off my lower lip in anxiety.

“Maybe you feeling lonely in here is why your parents wanted to find you a wife.” I mumble.

“It’s pureblood tradition to have a betrothal this young, are you stupid or just don’t know?”

I gasp at his mean words, what does pureblood tradition even mean? I hate him again, he is just like papa with mommy, angry and unkind.

“Take me back to my parents.” I order him.

The boy flinches, taking a step back in surprise. His annoyed face changing in a softer, sadder expression.

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.” He says.

“I don’t care, take me back!”

The elf approaches, limping and reaches out his hand on Draco’s arm.

“Master, maybe she is only frightened, be kind to the young missus.” The elf whispers.

Draco thinks the elf’s words over before turning to look at me, his silver eyes glazed over. If he cries I’ll cry and all of this will be over. Our parents will be so angry, maybe his daddy is angry all the time like mine. Maybe if we go back so soon, having argued like this, the tall man will scold Draco and punish him, like mine does.

“It’s ok, I changed my mind.” I say in a certain voice.

“Really?”

“Yes, I want to see you playroom, take me.”

The boy gives me a shy smile, his chubby cheeks still flushed. He is a cute boy, especially when he smiles like that. Draco reaches his hand out, waiting. I blink at the gesture, he surprises me once more. Give him my hand to hold in his, he wraps his fingers around mine. We stand like that for a few seconds staring at each other.

“I have a better idea, can I show you something else?”

I nod, let him guide me to a room full ofplants and flowers. It has big balcony doors adorned with stained glass that probably lead to a garden. I have never been in a place like this, we live in a cottage. If daddy ever had money, he spent it years ago so now we scrape by mostly cause of name and reputation as he keeps saying.

Draco shows me flowers called peonies and goes on and on about how they cultivate them with his mother. We sit on a bench, staring around the beautiful room.

“It’s very pretty, but I don’t know how to do it.” I finally admit.

“The plants?”

I nod, folding my knees to my chest and hugging them. He stares at me, thinking it over.

“I don’t care, I’ll show you.”

“Really? What if I’m not good at it?”

“I’ll still like you.” He shrugs his shoulders, his eyes falling from mine.

That makes me break a smile, thinking how maybe we could be friends before we become whatever our parents need from us.