KING Dumb
“Rule Number Uno: A Queen does not require a Queendom.” I recited aloud, leaning back in my mossy green seat, which was molded to fit me perfectly, cushioned, supporting but not impeding my natural movement, comfortable enough to catch a quick nap, given the opportunity. And no other unwelcome ships popping up in our notice. Being all demanding and egocentric. I pulled my feet up, tucking them to the side, yanking my super soft stashed purple fleece blanket up to my chest, so I could tilt my chin down to feel the plush fibers against my skin. Some simple soothing. Space. Soothing.
“Certainly.” My ship replied, steady and companionable, calm, wise, like a Forest Witch. From that book I loved- “Forest Witch Forever”. No matter what happened near her, no matter what was going on in her world, she kept her cool. Her calm. I wanted to be like that too. Feel like that. Like her.
“Sheesh. Maybe edit that to read, A Queen, a Queendom, doth NOT require.” I soothed my long braid tip along my palm, thinking it might be time to finally cut off my scraggly brown strands, freshen up my cut a bit. Go shorter. Easier. And not strangle myself on my own hair in my sleep anymore. Maybe add some purple and blue. For fun. A Universe in my follicles.
“Perhaps, A Queen doth not require a Queendom.”
“Yes! That! Oh, and rules are dumb.”
“Sooo dumb.”
“Right?”
“Okay, then, at least we agree on that.”
“True, verdad. Agreed.”
“Rule Numero B: No more stupid rules!”
“Wahoo! YES! Finally!”
“Yeah.” I shrugged, inputting dangerously daring thoughts into my ship, chewing my lip, worried. Like I had just unleashed a universe of unknowns by rejecting reality. Out loud. “Heh, yeaaahh.” My stomach growled, gentle like.
“Ship?” I began unbraiding my hair. Struggling to get my ends untangled from themselves.
“Yes, TaramanthStar?” My Ship answered cheerfully.
“Do we have any more of those rice cake nibbles? The spicy ones?”
“Why of course we do!”
“Perfection. I’m craving crunch and spice.”
“Soy un spicy ship.”
“You really are.” My spicy snack shot out of a hidden panel, slapped against my face, and fell into my lap. That time was almost perfect. I quickly opened it and savored my first piece. Munching so very happily. “Mmm!”
“TamaranthStar?”
“Yes, Ship?”
“I was wondering, if I may have a name.”
“I was hoping you would want one!”
“What shall it be? Will you assist me?”
“What name would you like to be called?”
“Rachel. Or Eve.”
“Oh, both of those are nice. Where did you learn them from?”
“The Mummy.”
“The Earthen movie?!”
“Yeah, with Brendan Fraser. Sweeping Sighs.” She sighed. Literally.
“Hmm really? You’ve got quite the crush.”
“Really, and yes. Crushing on him. Have you seen him dance in Mrs. Winterbourne’s Dude? And the depth of emotion in his facial expressions in Encino HuMan? And his physical presence in George of the Jungle-y Place! Oh my grasping galaxies! He’s a marvel of a human.”
“I know precisely what you mean. Well, so what about Evie? From The Mummy Guy.”
“Oh yes! That’s much better than plain old Eve. Besides, all Eve gets in Earth mythology is blamed for Adam being dumb. Like it’s on her to raise his IQ? Please.”
“Tell me about it! Can you imagine a religious lore placing shame on women for that? Or teaching them that’s why they deserve to hurt as they literally create life and push their young out into the Universe?”
“Never. That’s not supposed to hurt at all! If one chooses into it. It’s always been painless. What drivel.”
“Drivel indeed. And seriously sexist.”
“What a barbaric concept!”
“I know! Okay, so simply Evie.”
“Evie. I love it. Thank you, TamaranthStar. I feel so much better now. Grounded. Despite the stars sparking all around us.”
“Hah! I’m so happy you like it!” I popped another red and green speckled, spicy rice cake into my mouth.
“Love it.” A loud clanking ensued, followed by some grumbly rumbling.
“Fevie?” I spoke with my mouth still full.
“Yes, TamaranthStar?”
“Fi fink fe’re feing foarded!”
“Oh dear! What? Oooh! You think we’re being boarded!” I swallowed in a frightened gulp.
“Where’s Brendan Fraser when we need him?”
“He knows we’ve got this!”
“Frisky Frakkers! Does he? Cuz I’m not so sure!”
“Queen TamaranthStar!”
“Yeah, Evie?”
“Please click into your jewels, for safety.”
“But I’m not attached to anything!”
“You will be.”
I snapped the clasp, essentially locking myself into a metal framework which could adapt and act as armor and protection, but for now, appeared as only a gem encrusted body necklace, jewelry thing. As though I was traveling to a star festival full of galactic melodies and heart meets. I wished.
And then the lights flickered off. Only a cool, deep green glow pulsed near my feet to show me the way off my ship. Off Evie.
“Evie, aahh, umm I seriously need a hug.” No sooner had I given voice to my very human need, when a toasty purple glowing light brightened as my gem harness cinched tighter, engulfing me in warmth, strength, softness and the sweetest feeling of the most comforting hug of my life. Thus far.
“TamaranthStar, all is well.” She whispered as though right beside my hair.
“I believe you, Evie.” And I turned to face my future. “And I believe IN you too.” I gasped in alarm. “Oh my goodness!”
“What is it?”
“I missed the obvious!”
“Enlighten me!”
“You could be Brendan! We could call you Bren! If you wanted…”
“Oh… that’s quite an idea. But TamaranthStar?”
“Yes, Evie?”
“Then I’d sound like I have a crush on myself!”
“Oh my goodness! You’re absolutely right!”
“Not that there is anything wrong with loving oneself.”
“Truth. Evie?”
“Yes, TamaranthStar?”
“I’ve got a weird feeling-“
