Echoes of the trench.

The day was just like any other. Woke up to the distant sound of artillery and the acrid smellof smoke hanging in the air. My mate Bennet sitting with his eyes fixed upon the foggy body filled forest. No words needed to be spoken we both sat there full of dread. Yet thankful our lord has let us live another day. We had justlost half of our men. 300 of our boys littered across the countryside of France. The Germans cut us in half and now we’re waiting for reinforcements.There are about 130 of us left. We all feel like sitting ducks. Morale is low.

Me and a couple others scrape together our last rations. We’ve been stuck inthis hellscape of a forest for weeks now. We’ve sent messages about our dire situation,and we’ve only been told to sit and wait. Many of us have lost hope. The sitting and waiting for your death are far worse than facing it head on. I wake in the nights hearing some of the men crying. We share stories about our livesback home. It brings brief solace, a temporary respite from the cruel reality surrounding us.

Bennet pats me on the back.

“Meet me out in the trees I’ve been saving a couple Fags, and I don’t want any of these mingers to get their hands on them.”

He runs off slyly giving the rest of the men the finger. I laugh and slowly follow behind trying not to make it too obvious. Cigarettes out here hold their weight in gold. Menwould gladly shoot each other if the prize at the end was a long drag of a cigarette.We hide behind two large oaks, and he hands me a crisp Bull Durham. My eyeswiden.

“Bloody hell,where did you get American fags from?” I say in astonishment.

“Right before wewere sent out to this god forsaken waste land, I traded a yank for a German pocket watch I snagged off a dead officer. Best decision. Thing was cursedanyways; I’m convinced.” He says while taking a long drag and sighs.

“When I get backhome I’m going to marry Alice. We’re going to live in the country, buy the lot in chickens and geese and quietly live our lives.” I say between puffs ofsmoke.

“When I get back home the first thing, I’m going to do is see my boy. Proper lad he is. My wife says he’s top of his class and very handsome. Like someone I know.” He nudges my arm and smiles. Then silence.

It hangs in theair after like a 1,000-pound weight. The sad truth is we’ll probably die in this foreign country in this forest waiting for reinforcements. I’ve lasted 8months. In these days you’re lucky to have survived the day. I had already lost2 of my brothers at The Battle of the Somme. My mother wept when I had told herI had enlisted as well. I wanted to avenge them but the longer I await deaththe more I grow tired of him.

“Do you think my boy will remember me?” Bennet asks.

I pat his shoulder. “Of course he will Mate. He’ll remember you because you’ll be going home after this war ends. Chin up.” I say taking the last few drags.

“Let’s head back.It’s almost time for muster.” I flick the cigarette onto the ground stepping onit.

We rise through the trees and instantly Jones runs to us.

Out of breath hepoints behind him.

“Word is they’ve seen Germans. They want us to stay here and wait still but the men are getting restless. We haven’t gotten a letter this week. Some of us are thinking aboutrunning.”

Bennet shoves him causing Jones’s small body to hit the ground.

“What are you now?A bunch of bloody deserters. What do I expect from a bunch of boys who are onlyhere because a paper told them too. I joined to fight for my country. I would rather face the end of a German gun than to go home a traitor.” He goes down to-pick Jones up by his collar.

“Alright, ease upon the lad. They’re just scared.” I say trying to get in between the two.

Bennet lets him go-and Jones wipes the dirt from his pants.

“Fuck you, Bennet.Not all of us want to die out here.” Jones says angrily.

Bennet cocks hisfist back and then we hear the familiar sound of gun fire.

We all scrambledfor our weapons. The forest echoed with the staccato of gunfire, a sinister symphony that bled into our instincts, demanding action. I aim my weapon andbegin to fire into the smoke and haze. In that moment you don’t think. Many men wet and soil themselves just from the sheer adrenaline coursing through them. Idon’t think about Alice or my family. I think about the ultimate primalinstinct of killing.

I slowly see the bodies in front of me drop. Both British and German. We are outnumbered.

“God let me live”I say quietly to myself.

The screaming is almost as loud as the gunfire. The Germans are hitting us hard. The ground now-soaked with blood. We’re getting pushed back into the forest. I turn to lookfor Bennet and spot him lying on his back. A sick feeling came upon me. I have seen death, I know his putrid smell like no other. I run to him and that’s whenI see the bullet hole bursting through his chest. I drag his body behind atree.

“Your stupid son-of a bitch why did you have to die?” I yell between gags.

I hate this war. I hate the Jerry’s. I hate the King. I hate France. I hate it all. I look at Bennett and pull his dog tags off him.

“I’m sorry Mate. Say hello to my brothers, wouldyou?” I say while closing his eyes.

I look around and make a break for it deeper into the forest. While I care for my fellow men, I can’t take this anymore. If someone were to have seen me, they would’ve thought I was a wild boar evading a hunter. To hell with this army.

Slowly the sounds of war slip behind me and further and further I go into the forest until I can no longer hear gunfire. The silence is unnervingly complete, only broken by therustling leaves and distant chirping of birds. I stop walking and stand in the stillness.

“What have I done?” I say to myself.

I fall to my knees weeping. Punching and hitting my body I yell a guttural and primitive screech.My whole body shaking like a leaf. I look down and see that I too have pissedmyself. I pull out Bennett’s tags and squeeze them so hard my skin breaks from the pressure. I throw them back in my pocket and my eye catches my pistol.

“What do I have left? I fled from my duties. Surely a traitor now.” I tell myself.

I look around. The forest seems to close in on me, suffocating in its vastness and indifference. I-find myself hidden among a couple of fallen trees. Hidden from the world. I pull out my pistol and look it over. How easy would it be to end it all? Do I defilemyself in front of God as well. What do I have left?

“Alice.” I whisper to myself.

Alice, my sweet,beautiful Alice. I know her heart will break if she were to hear about my death. Though I’m sure I am already presumed dead to the British army. What Iwouldn’t give to be smelling her sweet rose perfume or gazing into her eyes. I-close my eyes.

“God. Just please let me go home.” I pray.

Slowly after the nerves have settled, I drift to sleep anxiously awaiting what the new day would bring.