Chapter 1
It was 11:49am when she texted to meet him at the coffee shop across the street. Harvey was sitting in his glass office going through case files. He had been fiddling with the silver ring he kept on his right-hand ring finger. He wasn’t able to fully depart from it after his divorce. A part of him had hoped they would eventually reconcile but Harvey would be kidding himself if he said he was actively trying. In all honestly, they had stopped communicating with each other seven years ago. Which is why when his ex-wife texted him to meet her, he was filled with emotions he couldn’t pinpoint.
The text took him by surprise, and Harvey wasn’t so sure he liked surprises. He was always prepared for every possible scenario. It’s what made him good at his job. It’s also what made it difficult to love him; his need to prepare for every situation and his tendency to be rigged. Both habits, ironically, he had picked up from his father.
Harvey stared at the text, constantly touching the screen to make sure that the display stayed on. He let out a soft sigh, trying to figure out what she wanted. The text was so out of the blue, he didn’t know what it could be about. Was everything okay, was she okay? His heart rate picked up slightly as he let his mind wander of all the possible scenarios that would lead to the text message. He didn’t want to reply right away for fear of giving his emotions away, he wanted to be calm and level-headed before sending a response.
He tapped his fingers softly against his phone, thinking of how to reply, thinking of what to reply. His eyes wandered around the room, before eventually landing back on his phone screen. His phone lit up again. The two minute reminder. He let out another sigh, before he shifted his focus back to the work email, he was reading minutes before. He blinked a few times to regain focus, running his hands through his hair before letting them find their way to his laptop.
He must have written no more than five words before he was pulled out of his thoughts by the familiar ringtone coming from his phone.
Harvey’s heart fluttered with a mix of emotions as he saw her name flash across the screen. The silver ring on his right hand, a relic of their past, was a constant reminder of the bond they once shared. Even after seven years of silence, the mere thought of her could send his emotions into a whirlwind.
His hands trembled as he reached for the phone, but his fingers failed him and instead, the phone clattered to the floor. He bent down to reach for it, but his clumsy fingers just pushed it to the other side. “Come on. Pick up the phone, God damnit.” His frustration grew more and more with every attempt to pick it up. It felt like the phone had a mind of its own.
By the time he actually picked up the phone, the call had gone to missed. He stared at the missed call notification for a second, letting out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. He paused for another moment before clicking on it. While listening to the dial tones, he prepared himself for the conversation, his heart pounding in his chest. She had started speaking before Harvey would say hello.
Her voice soft, barely above a whisper as she spoke, “Harvey, I need to say this before I lose my nerve. So please don’t cut me off. I should have told you sooner. But the truth is. I’ve been scared.”
She paused to catch her breath. Harvey furrowed his eyebrows while his mind raced trying to conclude the reason behind the phone call. A part of him was distracted, it was the first time he heard her voice since their divorce, but he was more concerned that the phone felt like it was out of the blue. He was missing a puzzle piece, and he didn’t know what it was. He let out a breath, waiting for her to resume her prepared, yet not rehearsed speech.
She continued, “For the past few months, I haven’t been feeling well. At first, I thought it was just stress or maybe just the flu or maybe old age.” She let out a stiff laugh as she said that. But quickly moved past that.
“But the symptoms didn’t go away. They keep getting worse. I tried to ignore it, to push through, because I didn’t want to worry you or Mike. But deep down, I knew something was wrong.”
She let out a sigh, it sounded like she was struggling to hold in her emotions, but she continued anyways, “So I went to the doctor, hoping for some simple explanation, something that could be easily fixed. But the tests... the tests came back with news I never expected.” Each word she spoke was filled with more emotion than the previous. Harvey had known her for long enough to know that she was struggling. He wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her, to protect her from the world. He pressed his lips together, feeling the single cold tear wind down his cheek. He didn’t bother wiping it, he just waited for the shoe to drop.
She barely whispered, “Harvey, I have cancer.”
Another moment of silence, before she continued.
“I knew for a while, but I can’t keep this from you any longer. You said to reach out if it was an emergency and.” She let out a soft sob, “I’m scared, Harvey. I’m scared of the pain, of the treatments; what if – what if they don’t work.”
Harvey felt more tears escape his eyes, but despite wanting to say so much, he fulfilled her wish to remain silent and let her finish.
She started talking between sobs and stutters, “But more than anything, I’m scared of what this means for Mike. He doesn’t deserve to go through this, to see his mother suffer. I want to be there for him, to watch him grow up, to be a part of his life. And now, that future feels so uncertain.”
It was minutes before she spoke again. Harvey did his best not to make a sound. He was struggling to take everything in. He usually didn’t have time for emotions, usually going straight into fix it mode. But there was no fixing this. Harvey’s mind raced for a solution, but he kept turning up nothing. It was the first situation he wasn’t able to fix.
She had cleared her throat, letting her emotions pass before she spoke again. “I know this is a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to have all the answers. But I need you to be here for Mike, if I ever…”
She never said the last word, but they both understood.
“I love you forever, Harvey. But I need you to step up and take care of Mike"
With that, she said that she would call him back and explain more. She apologized for doing this over the phone, she had originally wanted to meet him somewhere, but her body was so tired, she couldn’t force herself to step out. It was clear the conversation had winded her and she wasn’t ready for Harvey’s reply.
He placed the phone faced down on top of the files he was flipping through earlier. He looked up and glanced at Donna. She was preoccupied with her computer, unaware of what Harvey was doing. He had hoped that she would offer some words of comfort, but he knew that she didn’t hear the conversation because the call hadn’t come through the landline. He suddenly felt like his whole body was engulfed in anxiety. He needed to get some water, he felt like he was going to collapse on the floor.
It felt like an out of body experience, like for some reason it wasn’t real. He could wake up in a minute and everything would be close enough to normal. It took several minutes for his breathing to return to semi-normal. He slowly sipped from the water bottle that was on his desk. He couldn’t remember how long it sat there but the little bubbles indicated that it was old, but Harvey needed something. The water helped calm him down further.
He began typing on his computer Percentage of woman that survive Cancer.
