Ezra Gracia
As a kid, I always wanted to be something. I yearned for riches, I desired power. All I wanted was to be recognised— to be something of value, someone of value.
The light from the fridge lit up my pitch-black room as the sharp sound of a bottle opening echoed through my soul.
“What a joyous night.” My voice was dull, matching the lifeless look in my eyes.
My body slowly trudged toward the couch as the burden of loneliness weighed me down. Sinking into it, my mind went blank. It felt as if I were falling into a void I couldn’t escape— fading, drifting.
“If only it were that simple… but no.” As I downed the beer in my hands, it began to talk for me.
A child appeared before me, blocking the static-covered television. “Do you still want to see the stars?”
“There’s no point. The sky’s black.”
The child stared at me, kindness in his eyes—the opposite of mine. “Don’t be like that. We wanted to do it together.”
“Shut up.”
He didn’t listen. “Why don’t you want to go outside? Why confine yourself? You won’t survive the life you’ve made for yourself.”
“Leave me alone.”
“You’re disgusting. You smell like a dumpster and somehow look worse than one. There’s rubbish everywhere. When was the last time you cleaned up? No—when was the last time you even saw sunlight?”
“SHUT UP!”
My weak arms threw the empty bottle at him. Glass shattered, and his blood splattered—yet I remained lifeless.
“You know you can’t kill me, right? After all, I’m you.” The kid rose from the ground. Blood spilled from his head, covering his kind eyes.
“Please… just leave.”
“Come on. Why won’t you feel joy anymore? What’s holding you back?”
I rolled off the couch and stumbled through the house. Glass crunched beneath my feet; chairs and tables shifted as I brushed past them.
“Why can’t you just listen? Look at what you’ve made me do.”
Pill bottles fell into my hands—one container after another. As I shoved them into my mouth and snickered at the boy, he responded:
“You know that’s not going to work, right? You can’t kill yourself. You’re too weak for that.”
“Just watch me. This time’s going to be different.”
As my head hit the cold, hard floor, I saw a light. I couldn’t understand what it was, but the boy spoke again.
“I told you it was for naught. But now your journey shall begin. May the life you lead from now be different. May the light you’ve seen change you… may it guide you.”
The bright golden light vanished, and the familiar darkness pulled me back. When I woke, the room around me was clean. Everything was different. Needles and tubes stuck out of my body, and my clothes had changed.
“Why am I in a hospital?”
My head grew heavy. My vision blurred. It felt as if my brain were bleeding. Pain pulsed through me as the machine beside me began beeping—numbers rising as the agony did. Before I knew it, I was unconscious again.
“Doctor Ross! His vitals are spiking again—we need to take him to the ER!” A woman’s voice shouted. It sounded warm. Worried. “Don’t worry, sir. We won’t lose you.”
The pain eased as a warm hand held mine tightly. Words barely escaped my lips.
“Thank… you.”
It was the first time I had ever thanked someone. The first time I had someone to thank.
My eyes opened again. The first thing I saw was the nurse—still there, still holding me.
“Ezra, you’re awake.” She hugged me as tears began to drown me.
“I’m sorry, but… do I know you?” The gears in my brain struggled to turn. Who was this girl? She clearly knew me—but how?
She wiped her tears and looked into my eyes with familiar brilliance.
“Normally I’d hit you for saying something like that… but since I just got you back, I’ll save it for later. It’s me—your sister, Esperanza.”
“……Esperanza.” The rust on the gears in my head flaked away as they began turning again.
Esperanza, my older sister. I used to hate being compared to her. Smart, athletic, beautiful—and above all, a heart made of gold. It was why I could never truly hate her despite my jealousy.
“I’m sorry, Esperanza. This is my first time talking to someone other than myself in a long time. If you wouldn’t mind… could you take me back home?”
Despite what she said earlier, she slapped me.
“Hermano idiota! You can’t go back. You’re overdue on your hotel payments. You’re lucky you were being kicked out, otherwise you would’ve died. If they waited any longer to evict you, then I—”
Her voice cracked.
“From now on, you’re staying with me. You’re not leaving my sight until I can trust you with your own life.”
“Thank you for saving me… but I have to go back. I need to pay him.” Forcing myself out of the bed, I headed toward the door.
“EZRA! You need to stop. I already paid him. You have nothing to worry about. Besides—you don’t even have enough money to pay him anyway.”
“I’m sorry for all this, but I don’t want to be a burden. I’ll find someplace else to stay.”
“Do I need to hit you harder? You have no money. I found you after ten years, barely alive. I’ll be damned if I let you leave me again. Whether you like it or not, you’re staying with me. Please.”
“Are you sure, Esperanza?”
“Absolutely.”
“Won’t I be a burden?”
“Not at all. I need someone to help around the house. I can’t cook, and the place has been a mess lately.”
“I’m sorry for all this… but don’t feel obligated to help me. I can take perfect care of myself.”
“Ezra, you’re staying with me regardless of what you say. Nothing will change that.”
Taking a deep breath, I spoke:
“At least it won’t take much to move me in. Everything at the hotel is probably contaminated or broken anyway.”
Esperanza stood there awkwardly, eyes still filled with concern.
“Wait here for a minute while I grab my bag from my locker.” She handed me a protein bar. “The hospital approved temporary leave so I can help you get back on your feet.”
“Don’t be foolish.”
“I’m still getting paid.”
“Don’t waste your leave on me.”
“It’s not wasting it.” She stepped closer. “Steel yourself—we’re leaving now.”
