Cornfield

“I feel it quietly

Tryin silence me, yeah

My anxiety can’t shake it off of me.”

~ Doechii

I tapped my pen along my desk, as I stared off at a poster on the wall of my English classroom.

You never fail until you stop trying.

With everything I had coming at me, failing seemed to be in my sight. Tests, and quizzes were a weekly hassle, as I had to elbow my way through pubescent students, taking up more room than they needed. And then I had the constant pressure of my mother wanting me to be on the look out for scholarships and colleges. Every week a new pamphlet about a school in New Jersey was placed on my desk at home and every week I debated on if staying in the state was for me. Not to mention the social hierarchy of school and trying to be a great girlfriend to Kaitlyn.

I started to tap my pen more resetlessly against my desk, as my brain wandered in a million different directions. Roxanne walked by me and flipped over my notebook. I eyed her, as she sat down at the desk beside me. Her brown hair was in its usual braids, pulled back from her face, as she looked at me with shining brown eyes. The fluorescent school lights were so bright her brown skin looked washed out. Her legs slid over her desk before she finally looked over at me with a smile.

“Morning,” she smirked.

I rolled my eyes, as I smiled at her. As always, Roxanne was out of uniform with her black hoodie and slightly ripped khakis.

“Morning, chaos,” I replied.

“I still can’t believe they convinced you to come out tonight.”

I smirked. “Kaitlyn had to make a lot of promises to me.”

“Oh, I bet.” Roxanne sighed, as she leaned back in her chair. “Now the whole squad will be together.”

“Will Gabby be there?”

Roxanne smirked, as she nodded. “We decided to meet up.”

“Roxanne!” Mrs. Wright cried.

Roxanne groaned, as she slid her legs off her desk and sat up straight.

“Your hoodie too.”

Roxanne continued to grumble, as she took off her hoodie.

Mrs. Wright’s gaze went over to me. “How’s college searching going, Scarlett?”

“Good,” I said, a little too quickly. “I’ve been touring a lot of them with my family.”

“Any top picks so far?”

“A couple. My mom wants me to have options.”

Mrs. Wright nodded. “Smart lady. And you Ms. Roxanne?”

“Wherever Scarlett goes.”

I chuckled. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“What? We can’t be separated.”

My chuckle grew to a laugh. “I guess not.”

The morning bell rang, starting the official school day. After class, Roxanne and I went different ways. Further down the hall, I met up with Kaitlyn. She smiled, as I approached, her hazel eyes sparkling at the sight of me. Her black hair flowed behind her in waves with the ends dyed a deep purple that was dark enough to let her scoot by dress code. Much like Roxanne, her pants had spots in them where rips were nearly about to appear. Kaitlyn’s collared shirt was low cut, which she mostly covered with the denim jacket she had on top, another piece of attire that broke dress code.

She gave me a quick kiss before we held hands and headed to the hall where our next classes were. Other students around us chatted with one another, as loud rap music busted through the halls. The air smelled of body odor and perfume and seemed to follow me wherever I moved.

“You excited about tonight?” Kaitlyn asked, as she bumped her shoulder against mine.

I smiled. “As much as I can be, since I’ll be back here later.”

Kaitlyn smirked at me. “You make fun sound like torture.”

“With the people we go to school with, yeah.”

Kaitlyn laughed. “I think Natalie mentioned bringing her boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Maybe. You’ll have to ask her, but I think that’s what she said.” Kaitlyn pulled me over to the side of the hall before standing in front of me. She gave a quick kiss.

I smiled. “See you at lunch?”

Kaitlyn nodded before giving me one last kiss. When Kaitlyn walked into her classroom, I continued down the hall until I got to my art class. Sitting in their usual spots at my own table was Isaiah and Natalie. Out of all my friends, they were the only ones to fall into the dress code respectfully with collared shirts and slacks. Isaiah was waving his hands around, as he spoke to Natalie, while Natalie watched his every move, as she rubbed her fingers along the cross necklace that dangled from her neck. Their attention shifted over to me, as I sat down in my seat, across from Isaiah.

“Yo, yo, yo,” he cried, running his hand over his shaved head.

I chuckled. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Did I tell you how my boyfriend told me his parents don’t want him dating someone black?”

Natalie froze, as she stopped pulling her curly hair up into a ponytail to look at Isaiah. “What?”

Isaiah nodded. “I went out with him and his family bowling and afterwards that’s what he told me.”

“Woah…” I whispered.

“What are you going to do?” Natalie asked.

Isaiah shrugged. “I have a feeling he’s going to listen to his parents.”

“You think you’ll break up?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to be with someone whose parents don’t approve of me.”

The warning bell rang.

I looked to the left and right of me at the empty seats for Griffin and Roxanne. “How late do you think they’ll be?”

“Depends what they were up to,” Isaiah said.

I smirked.

“They might luck out being on time today,” Natalie suggested.

“Doubt it,” Isaiah said.

As the final bell rang, Roxanne ran into the classroom quickly followed by Griffin. The two of them fell into their seats beside me, as their uneven breaths filled the air.

Mrs. Morrison eyed both of them. She stood up from her desk, crossing her arms over her chest. “You two finally came in on time, so I don’t know if I should be mad about the running in my classroom.”

“Please don’t be,” Griffin heaved. “I can’t believe I ran to be here.”

Mrs. Morrison chuckled before going into her housekeeping speech before class. When she was done, the class was off to work on their projects.

“So, what had you two late?” Isaiah asked, as he sketched.

“Was making out with your boy toy,” Griffin joked.

Isaiah reached across the table and flicked Griffin on the forehead.

“Ow!” Griffin cried.

“He’s having boy problems so I don’t think he wants to hear that,” Natalie mumbled.

“If you must know,” Roxanne said, “we were talking with Gabby and Tessa.”

“Can’t believe you’re crunching in time to see her before class,” I said. “You are down bad.”

Roxanne playfully shoved me. “You are so annoying.”

“Scarlett, Randall,” Mrs. Morrison said. “Can I speak to you two in the hall?”

I froze, blinking at Roxanne. “Uh…yeah..sure.” Quickly, I stood and headed to the hallway followed by Randall and Mrs. Morrison.

Mrs. Morrison stood in the middle of the hall with her hands clasped behind her back. She slowly paced back and forth. With the many colorful tattoos covering her arms and her posture, it came off as a bit intimidating.

“What’s this about?” Randall asked.

Mrs. Morrison focused on the two of us. “A colleague informed me of a summer opportunity. I know the two of you actually want to pursue art as a career, so I wanted to offer this to you. There’s a craft school further North that’s accepting applications for a summer internship.”

“Doing what exactly?” I asked.

“Mainly helping with visiting artists they plan on having each month. It’s a great opportunity along with a great way to network and collaborate.”

As Mrs. Morrison talked, I thought about what I had already planned for my summer: working at the waterpark I’d been at for two years, writing, packing for college, and going on a summer vacation in August. None of it contained a craft school and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go anyway.

“But what about the cost and time frame and requirements and paperwork?” I asked.

Mrs. Morrison raised her hand to stop me. “I’ll let you know in a formal email, but this really is a great opportunity, Scarlett.”

“But what about…”

“God, is that what it’s like to have fear run your life?” Randall muttered.

I didn’t say anything, as Mrs. Morrison gave him a knowing glare that prompted Randall to step back.

“Sorry…” he mumbled.

“I’ll let you both know everything by tonight,” Mrs. Morrison.

Randall and I both nodded before walking back into the classroom. When I sat back down in my seat, I immediately started working on my sketch.

“So,” Roxanne dragged out, “you gonna make us ask or what?”

I sighed, as I focused directly on the paper in front of me with the beginnings of a flower amongst a garden. “Mrs. Morrison recommended that I apply for a summer internship at a craft school.”

“Don’t sound too excited.”

“I’m just…nervous about doing it. My summer is already planned.”

“But you love art and this sounds like a perfect opportunity.”

“I know…I know.”

“You can’t pressure Scarlett,” Natalie said. “She’ll figure out what’s right for herself.”

“Yeah, but she thinks it’s staying in the box she already lives in,” Roxanne said.

I smirked, as I playfully shoved Roxanne. “Knock it off.”

She chuckled. “I’m only stating the obvious. You have a chance of a little bit of freedom, but no.”

My smirk grew into a smile. “I’ll think about it, Roxanne.”