Letters of Love

Letters of Love

By: Stacy Day

Dear Babe,

The boy is in my veins.

He is splattered on the walls of my soul. His back is burned on my skin. His eyes melt me. His voice shakes me. His laugh trembles me. He is who my love pounds for. His face is above me like a mirror.

When my eyes close, there is his face. His fingers tracing magic. His arms ready to wrap me. I would walk to the edge of the earth. Manifesting the love, I deserve. He is who appears. Dreaming of the heart that beats for me. He appears.

He calls me babe. Shane. Ghost.

What do I say back? How do I respond. Yes. Whatever the question is. Yes. It may have only been 2 weeks. In those two weeks, I fell in love. He is the love of my life. I know it. Every other thought goes away.

I don’t want anything but him.

Write love stories. Dreaming of his mouth on my neck in the morning. When I am waking up, he slides up close to me. Pulls me in. Brushes my hair away from my neck. Gives me kisses.

There my hips roll into his waist. Our legs intertwine. He says those dirty secrets in my ear. We spin in the mess of our love. Longing looks in each other eyes. Then fall back in bliss. Getting up to living life.

Making coffee. Packing his lunch. Find his shoes. Help get him out the door. What if it’s Sunday. We go sit on the porch. Watch the squirrels. Sip our coffee slowly. He puts his hand on my knee. I cross my legs. Look at him above my coffee cup. We sit there rocking in our chairs. He just rubs my knee. It’s a long time.

That is love. What is love. That.

Shane loves me. He might have been frustrated with me. He loves me. Forgive me for what you don’t know. I was very sick. I was very sad. I needed you. Wherever you are.

One day, you will read all this. I know you will, because that is who you are. Taking the time to read my books. It means a lot to me. You can read me quotes. It could be our mountain.

Writing books is my outlet. There are just notebooks. This year, it’s letters. Now, that I know Shane misses me. I will give all my attention to him. I did all could to move on. It always came back to you. Don’t throw your hands up. Life is about to get exciting.

Who I want to experience life with is Shane. Wake up to him gliding his fingers on my back. Being under my covers. There will be his throbbing love wand. Just smiles and giggles. Feeling like we are 17 years old. Trying to be romantic.

Everything doesn’t have to be so sweet. The one dream I have had about Shane. It was when we were talking. He was teaching me. I was learning. In the dream, he was sweet and tender.

In the sweet and tender was rough love. The mix of the two is what I want the most. Mentally, I am already detached from the men of my past. I had one last good cry about it. Went to the hospital. Then came out and worked the room. What I want is the taste of beer on my lips. Smoke in my lungs. My eyes relaxed. Staring at my best friend. A sad boy in Columbus, Ohio.

Getting so stuck in my head, made me lose you. Wherever you go and whatever you will be. I did my best to get you set. I did my best. I love you very much. I don’t just say that. It’s been since I was little girl I felt love. I was just 17. It was a long time ago.

To be touched would be like the first time.

I’m lovesick. When I saw, he was trying to reach me too. The world stopped. I thought of everything. Getting ahead of myself. It’s just I don’t want to be away from him. When he gets out, I am going to be with him. He must live his life. If he wants me, he will make the effort.

What I will do is work on building empires for him. I wish I would have written him. Still, I can, but I don’t know what to say.

My Dearest,

What I need to do is focus on the dream. My dream is love. It’s the vision for my future. There is nothing else to do. We wait. We work. We plan.

In reality, Shane would be

The Face of The Haven.

The Haven would highlight recovery stories. We all have recovery story. Something to overcome. Shane’s story is hard read. It’s painful and he seems like the bad guy. There is always more to the story. We don’t dig too deep. Let the past lay.

What we do is highlight the gathered resources. My dream is for The Haven to partner with HSO. Inmates being released would be scheduled a Release Appointment. This would be like a Hospital Discharge Appointment. 30 minute visit.

Sell it to Insurance. Once Anthem bites, they all bite. CareSource & Anthem would buy in. Getting payers to pay. They would but they might pay more with more regulations.

The appointment would focus on Workforce Development

Integrated Behavioral Health

The questions would gear to Men’s Mental Health. This is the passion of program. The Workforce Development Program would be open program. This would be added to Patient Center Medical Home. Making it goal to reach for family medicine.

Strong Employment is vital to overall health. Resources buy the things needed for good health. Housing, Transportation, and Food. Housing is rough measure to meet, but gathering the data is needed. We don’t have ways to help with housing. Transportation & Food those needs are met within HSO. Housing is hurdle.

Partners & Data Collection.

The Haven would need data. We will be building housing. This is major passion of mine. Focusing there. Until, we get there. Start with starting the process. We walk, before we run.

Walking is helping released inmates, like Shane. If The Haven started with Shane. We set him up with appointment at HSO. Prefer it to be Loveland. This is my home office. The Program would use the same clinicians to start. This is how HSO rolls out programs.

Workforce Development Program

Would focus on Felons & At-Risk Populations. Questionnaires will help guide care. Finding the patients will be easy. Being ready to handle the amount of people in need.

We start with Shane.

The Program would start with

New Patient Visit (30 min)

Following the visit

Care Coordination Visit

Integrated Behavioral Health Visit

Follow-up Care Coordination Visit

The Doctor would order

CBC, CMP, Lipid, TSH, and STD Panel

PHQ-9 would be asked.

Additional new questionnaires targeted at the needs of inmates.

Care Coordinator would meet with inmate. Establish connection. Go over any referrals from clinician visit. The inmate would see Behavioral Health same visit. The Care Manager would meet with patient.

Now in my new imagined world. The Care Manager would follow inmate. Following up like we do with diabetes. Inmates are often at-risk of returning. This would be friendly and focus on work.

The Workforce Development Program would be Care Management Initiative. The Care Managers would extend reach into helping with resumes/employment. Giving Care Coordinators access to Human Resource Generalist databases.

Using indeed in the clinics. Patients are so much more than just sick. It’s many layers before you get reason for the sickness. Clinics hands are tied. The patient has to deal with social issues. They can’t. This is social work. Training Care Coordinators in social work.

This is the visit. The Care Team is ready to extend reach. They are growing and needed. They would need templates in NextGen to build resumes. The Care Coordinator would ask about skills and traits. Clicking the boxes. This would build into an endorsed by HSO – Resume.

The Felon is being monitored inside a Program with the endorsed resume. This would help the inmate or at-risk population get a high paying job. We add jobs to the resume template. Where you work effects your health. Either physical or mental. If your health is decaying because of where you work. The Care Team would help find new employment.

Everything is easy now. If you have disabilities or social issues. It’s not easy. Clinics with this program would get grants. They would get tech centers. Computers for patients to use. Have the patient input more data.

To build the resumes like it’s the prescription. This I feel strongly is what the world needs. HSO would have to be the one to start it. It’s home for me. I would give this idea to The Care Team and let them run with it.

If they can’t do it. The ball would pass to The Haven. The Haven would launch the idea. Building resumes and being connector. People just need help. When life does nothing but kick you. You need someone to reach down. Pull you up.

The Haven would pull patients up. We would accept referrals. Say ok Stace good idea, but we can’t do this. The Haven could. How can we make that happen.

This would be assignment for

Bridgett (The B in The Tower)

She is retired and I bet she is bored. Want to help me? This could be her passion project. Pull her from retirement. Let’s save the world with Taylor Swift. We could do this. Easy.

This could be extension of Foundation. The Haven would have it’s own money. I think I am about to be rich. If I get a windfall and launch The Haven. We would start with Shane to show what The Haven does.

We would roll cameras on him at HSO. His experience. He would be a “actor” not a patient. Meanwhile, he gets care at Loveland. This is drive for him, but it’s needed to be there. These are The Student Centers. This is where Mike is at. Mike will look out for us. The Haven would be ran by The Collective. Mike is The Collective, as is Shane.

Shane is my new love interest. This is good for the show. HSO loves playing for The Show. My Stars. I will never leave behind my crew. Most days, I think I still work with HSO on assignment. This is my illness. They would love to hear my ideas, as friends. Sipping coffee and changing the world.

The Haven would be born. We would need to contact Shane and let him know. He has to be let in on the secret. I am very serious about this. I think it’s the moment. If we miss it, we will kick ourselves. Shane is a genius. He will overcome his mountains.

The Haven would endorse him. Follow his career climbs. Focusing on Leadership development. He would be given homework to build skills. This would be a requirement to be in the program. It would give certificates for the resume building.

The Haven would have hub stations. Leadership meeting rooms. This would give the space to do these types of meetings. The patients would need access to computers. Computers are expensive and most people use phones. Having computer stations in Haven Hubs. This would be fun place to complete hard task.

Access to free books. Donated to The Haven. The Haven would have donation list to fill the hubs. The Hubs could be where I work now. I would buy in to make that happen. It would be Bridgett assignment.

This would be when I get the money. I don’t know how to handle that much money. Bridgett could help me. I would ask her and Janie to help me. Make sure I don’t lose it all. Put it in the right investments. The first investment would be to start The Haven. We start by helping Shane. He will be the face of The Haven. We get photos of him with the doctors. Bleed green & black. I love HSO with my entire heart. My books surround me leaving, but I always intended on coming back.

If I pulled it off. If I wrote my books. I would get my big bags of money. Launch my own foundation. Then hang out and see who needs help. This would fill my heart with so much joy. Starting my coffee huts and businesses.

It’s almost here. Getting the team ready. When it’s press play, the horses will run.

My Dearest,

The Flood Gates are about to open. This has been my predictions from the midsummer. We got the best news on Taylor’s Wi$h Li$t. If you know the clues, like I do. Jesse & Stacy are getting their Oscar. This is big time celebration news.

Celebration is our clue word. The why is a creeky grin. It might not be about me, but I sure hope so. There was a lot clues. I’ve been crying since 4am with happy tears.

Taylor is going to step away from music. Make babies and enjoy her money. She deserves it. There is no greater person on the planet. Bob Dylan is great, but Taylor is Taylor Swift. She is The Goat.

Let’s talk about what’s been published. If Jesse did what I asked. The proofs will be arriving to houses soon. As we read, remember they are meant to look like messy notebooks.

The Movies would surround Our High School Experience. The Shadows focuses on Jesse & I. We slowly forget who he is by Lost Mind. Then he comes back Gilmore Series, as Jess. We learn what reality is. Most of the series it’s wondering. The mystery.

Now, we got to meet the real Jesse. The end of show, truth be known. We are happy to see him so happy with Abby. Abigail was in Taylor’s album today. My middle name is Gail. High-five connection.

Shane was casted as Milo V in The Series. He is our new Jess. In my series, it always ends with Jess & Rory. It can’t ever be Jesse, because he is getting married. Josh is in a serious relationship. Those two are my loves of my life. I needed to give Josh love. He deserve it, but it’s never been right.

He works in construction. If he wants to help in Workforce Development Program. He is still in the plans, if he wants to play. The goal is form a group. Band of brothers. Life is short and I want to celebrate our wins. The story is great because of Our Story.

Jesse & Josh are my heartlines, but it’s time to let them go. I do. It’s easy. Thinking about the love. There will always be some conflict in every great passion. Love shouldn’t hurt. Sometimes, almost every time it does.

What I want is for The J Boys, welcome in Shane. Now, they will likely tell him to run for the hills. They miss me, don’t let them lie to ya. Nothing is a lie. Any story about me, there is always truth in it. Ask me and I’ll tell ya.

Shane has a business mindset. This is why I am so attracted to him. That and he is everything I want wrote down on a piece of paper. Things I wouldn’t ask for.

God knows, I want The Devil.

My big great revelation in my last schizophrenic break. I was now, Lilith. I was married to The Devil. Stuck in hell forever. I was trying to break free to save the world. This is how my mind works. I predicted the floods. There are things people should listen to. Not watching the news. My news comes from the inside.

The news I hear at work. It’s not looking good. They are preparing for war. That is why they are getting soldiers ready for prom. Getting everyone dressed up. It’s getting ready for war. Stopping genocide, starts World Wars. Be ready. No one is.

This is my schizophrenia, warning people of ends times. It’s just on my heart to speak it. What do we do. I don’t know. I picked writing for the new history books.

God knows what they do to kids. It’s the attack on the children that angers God. God will make you a believer. We are Gods. You & I. Believe that for the war. The War is digital. It will be from inside our minds.

Hypnotizing militaries with distraction tools. The spinning wheels of death. Protect your mind. Strong minds with big hearts. Be ready to give. Be prepare to handle the load.

Not everyone will make it.

My big fear is another great flood. I think they know it will be in our area, because of The Ark being stored here. Being prepared for nature’s purge. That’s what I fear is happening.

War will look different. Sonic war far. Weather war far. The biggest weapon is weather. Whoever can figure out how to control weather. Will feel like God. This is dangerous.

My worry is that would be weapon of mass destruction. This is a conspiracy. Writing about conspiracy is just letting my delusions out.

I am safe. We are safe. We are winning. The War might be over. I hope so. Poking around in trying to stop genocide. It will turn on us. This is the fear. They world doesn’t like us. We need to make nice or it’s our country.

Someone has to say something.

Someone must do something.

The Haven is what I came up with. This is how I feel better about things. My heart hurts for the pain in the world. Needing to save the children. Think about stabilizing the home and family unit. The world is crumbling.

Never fear, Stacy is here.

My life I wanted to live with pride. Make something of myself. It’s proven to be difficult task. I did it. I do it. I show up. I get the work done. I sleep when I can. I work when it’s time. I keep coming back.

Show up for people. Listen to me. My fear is that they monitor my writing. This is my illness. No one cares, but they do.

The cats out of the bag. Stacy is about to make it big. What does she want to do. Travel. I want to go to Germany. We remember the world’s most famous genocide. We live in the world that that’s happening again.

We are all too scared to say anything.

It’s too late to say anything. What we do is prepare our country for attack. My fear is when they are done there. They move here. This is my fear. I have nothing but gut feelings and years of conspiracies.

My predictions are right. This can put a cloud on our Taylor day. She is thinking about this too. This is history. It’s time for every one to sing loudly for one last push. Then the industry protects our country.

Don’t expect your government to save you. They won’t. We will. The Haven will be strong. It will be backed by The Entire Industry. We will be the new army. If war breaks out, we will gather to help save people.

Countries aren’t scared of us. They will invade us. They need too. We are The Haven. If we protect those needing saving. Countries are being leveled to the ground. They have nowhere to go.

It’s the world’s scream. While we fight over money and politics. Who holds what seat. I shake my chair in the meeting and scream. This is war. We heading to World War. I know they want it. War makes money. It’s the biggest money maker.

I’m scared to speak out for peace. It’s on my heart as someone who wants to speak to the world. Who are you in history. Pick a side quickly. There are no sides to run to when bombs are being dropped.

All you can do is pray. Love and protect your family. To me, Shane is family. He is stuck in a system that is designed to break men. We have camps. They are prisons. Prisons are money making machines. Why don’t they have good food. Like, prisoners are less than human. We feed cattle better than we treat human beings.

How do we change the narrative. How do we protect us all. Create a massive charity. Build. Build. Build. Employ. Employ. Get the money flowing to us. Money is what every war is fighting about. They will leave us alone, if we are making millions.

Shane is a hustler. I need that in The Collective. I need his insight into my life. His point of view. His point of view will change the world. Just because he sold some drugs. Doesn’t make him a terrible person. He deserves to have 3 warm meals a day.

This was his main issue. Twin Valley he commented on how good the food was. He talked a lot about the poor food in jails and prisons. Where he spent most of his life. Maybe his mind wasn’t getting proper nutrients. Which I know is the case.

We are plants. His mind wasn’t getting what it needs. Shane was desperate to not lose me and to eat. He was upset with me. I was the only person to take it out on. This is all I can do. Try to change it for someone else. I can’t change the world. The world is one big massive mess. I want to go around the world.

Get away from oceans and cities. Shane & I get a driving RV and hit the road. We go see the world. Avoiding the end of the world as we know it.

This is my illness. The world is fine. Taylor Swift’s album is out. We are going to be best friends. Jesse is marrying Abby. I am in love with Shane. We are going to go to Hawaii. By Helicopter? That was the clue.

It’s good being me.