Chapter 1
I agreed to sign up to be a tutor this year. I signed up towards the end of last year when posts for this year opened. I just figured why not, Zada was leaving and I had to find a way to keep myself occupied this year. It's also why I joined the school's newsletter team.
I'm lucky that the university I'm determined on getting into doesn't require a list of extracurriculars. I don't need these two things, just getting good grades would be sufficient but I signed up for them because I want to keep busy and maybe work on getting out of my shell. Zada is not here this year so I can't rely on my best friend and really my only friend for...basically any and everything.
I'm not looking to build permanent friendships but I want people I can hang out with, I don't want to spend the entire year alone. So I'm hoping that being a tutor and working on the newsletter team will not only keep me busy but also, maybe, help me make a friend.
"Good morning." I smile at Marisa, the school receptionist and head of administration, a very stern and no nonsense woman. Zada used to work in the office as a general assistant—though she mostly just did print and stamp work—that's how I got used to Marisa and came to realising that she's not so bad, as long as you're not going to be a problem and make her job difficult.
"Good morning, Lili," she smiles back, briefly shifting her eyes from the computer screen to where I stand in-front of the reception desk. "How was your summer?" her smile never falters, she's in a good mood today and going by the deep tan on her skin I can guess why. But I know it won't last, soon this hallway will be filled with demanding, conceited and highly entitled rich brats who will have her screaming and repeating herself like a preschool teacher and that smile will quickly be replaced by her staple glare.
"It was amazing, I went to visit Zada in Greece." My smile widens, feeling excited to be talking about this. My father and I didn't get to talk much yesterday, the restaurant was so busy he couldn't even fetch me from the airport.
Her eyes light up at the mention of Zada's name, she—like most people—really liked her. She used to give her special treatment and I only got that by association. "That sounds fun. How is she, is she adjusting well?"
"She's great, she loves it there. She's already made some friends and earned a reputation as her neighbourhood's most trusted dog walker," I chuckle "she starts school next week and I'm sure she'll be alright, you know Zada."
She lets out a small laugh and clicks her tongue "she's such a force that girl," she says before turning to me and handing me a paper that just finished printing. "Here's your schedule, check if you want to make any changes." she slides it through the small opening at the bottom of the glass wall separating us.
It's perfect, I have a free period for four days of the week though at different times; some days in the morning and some in the afternoon. I decided that I'll be using it for tutoring; calculus and chemistry. Everything with regards to the newsletter is conducted online so I won't be needing to attend anything for that.
"Good news," Marisa pulls my attention from the schedule as she slides me another paper "tutors are getting paid this year, so you'll be getting something for putting up with all these monsters," she lets out a snort as though to say she does not believe money is enough for what I'll be dealing with. "Fill in your personal banking details on there. The money is yours but if you want it in your student account, it can be deposited there." I shake my head and grab a pen to write it down, this money is going towards an apartment.
"Do you want the list that's already been compiled of students who need tutoring so you can make your own selection?" She asks and I smile a little at the special treatment because I know for sure that nobody gets access to stuff like that. You can always refuse to tutor someone but tutors don't get to pick not especially by going through a list that shows other people's grades for whatever subject they need help with.
I slide the papers—with my banking details and schedule with no changes—through the opening and shake my head no "I'd rather they pick me." I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, I'm not delusional about that. Most people were nice to me because they liked Zada and I'm her best friend, so they had no choice but to be around me if they wanted to be around her. But she's no longer here and regardless of the fact that I'm top of my class in those two subjects, I know some people would rather work with other tutors.
"Alright, that'll be all. Your details will be posted on the announcement board in the hallway and on the portal, so make sure to check your email regularly to see if anyone signed up with you. Good luck, Lili." She gives me a small smile, one that almost looks sad and I know she means well but I leave without thanking her.
It really irritates me the way people see me; Lili, the hyper dependent friend who's always following poor Zada around and never lets her attend parties because she's never invited. But none of that is true, Zada was dependent on me too just not in an obvious way and definitely not as much as I was on her, but still. And anyway, I'm her best friend because she likes me and I'm who she wanted around so it's not like I was holding her hostage or anything.
She didn't like going anywhere without me, she always felt balanced and comfortable around people when we were together, something I know most people would never understand or believe, not with her loud and bubbly personality but I know her.
I exit through the back of the senior academic building and head towards one of the school owned coffee stands. There's a footpath but I forego it and traipse through the lawn because it's quicker.
I'm early, there's hardly any students on campus except for the school's rugby team practicing on the field about half a kilometre from where I walk. They're always the first to arrive on school, and with the season starting in a month I know they'll also be the last to leave.
"Hey!" I smile at Clemmy when I reach her cart. She's a twenty five year old college student and she makes the best coffee you can find on campus. I'm happy that she's doing her final year at the local college when I also have a year left at Brie Academy because I know she won't be here next year and the school will have someone else working this cart. I can't imagine an entire year in this place without her coffee to start my day.
"Looking good, Lil," she says gesturing towards my magenta bubble dress that I pared with black ballet flats, a black baseball cap and tote bag. I've never been averse to wearing colour but these past few years I'd unconsciously gravitated towards black, so I'm sure I look quite different in something this bright.
"I see that trip did you well huh, the usual?" She asks, referring to my order—plain croissants and a cappuccino—I nod.
"Thank you, I think this is my new favourite colour." I smile, running my hands down the mid-thigh skirt of my dress. It was a spontaneous purchase, one that lead to me obsessively buying colourful dresses in every city we stopped at on our four days sail that ended in Santorini where we stayed for a week, best time of my life!
"It really suits you." She nods and starts filling my cup. The smell of steaming coffee hits me and warms my heart. My stomach grunts lowly, I was so tired yesterday that as soon as I stepped out of the shower I went straight to bed with only the small beef sandwich I had on the plane in my stomach.
Normally, Zada would be standing beside me giggling and yapping away to fill the silence. I guess I could ask her about her summer but she'd probably talk about how she had to hold down a job somewhere throughout the entire season so she could cover her college fees. And, I'm not Zada, I know I won't be able to come up with something encouraging or even nice to say, so I don't ask.
She hands me the coffee and two croissants. I thank her before I move to the stone bench and table that are next to her coffee cart. I pull out and open the new matching McBook that Zada got me for my birthday, she said she didn't like the camera quality of my old Windows.
I log into my student portal and take a sip of my coffee while it loads, the navy blue and yellow badge of our school sits in the middle of the screen as it loads and loads. For some reason the WiFi is slow today.
I lean back on the bench and—my coffee clasped in my hands—I close my eyes, taking a moment to enjoy the peace of this morning. My ears strain and I listen to the noise around me; the stomping and shouting from the rugby field, the quiet *psst psst* noise from the sprinklers that water the vast lawn, the low hum of the coffee machine and the distant rumble of a grass mower.
A *ding* brings my attention back to my laptop and I open my eyes. My portal sits open, displaying the general welcome speech that Principal Carlos used to give at the school assembly but as of last year, that is no longer a thing. I skip on reading it and click the X at the top, removing it from my screen. There's announcements about upcoming events in the month; the donation gala and other things that don't concern me. So I close the school calendar pop up and click on the tile to open my schedule.
The option to change and drop classes, which I know will close by the end of this week, is still open. I look through my classes again and in a change of mind, I decide to drop music class. I love the piano but I feel I no longer need to take this class. Whatever else is still there to learn, I'll teach myself.
I still only have one free period, but after dropping music I now have one for each day of the week instead of four. I feel more balanced now with eight classes that I'm a hundred percent sure I can handle. I was strategic with my choices in the 10th grade, I'm strong in all subjects but I'm more grateful for them now because they're exactly what I'll need to get into medical school abroad and if I ever change my mind then I'll still be able to go into tech.
I click out of the portal and into my emails as the unmistakable soft rumble of the fancy school buses and hooting cars reach my ears. I check the time and see that there's only thirty minutes left before the first class and so I'm not surprised when I gaze up and find the field empty.
My screen fills with old emails but there's nothing new so I close it and put my laptop away. I bite into my croissant as the lawn and the stall next to Clemmy's that sells sandwiches and pretzels slowly fill with other students. A group of girls approach Clemmy's cart as I finish off my croissant. I take it as my cue to leave, and chug down the remnants of my coffee before dropping the cup and serviette in the trash can and heading back toward the academic building.
I have five minutes to get to my first class; Advanced Calculus, which is great, I'd rather crunch numbers this early while I'm buzzed than in the afternoon once the day has drained me. Though, this year, I have no intentions of letting anything drain me.
Not a single thing!
