Part 18
BIRTHDAY. oh my, 45 and still inside. questions often imposed how do you manage the pain inside. I say the secret is, it hurts all the time and a normal day for matthew is to cry, after my heart and mind collide with heavy emotions that are ocean wide and myself I am not feeling large in size. when you lose love and old bonds with the guys don't seem so ripe, when there is potential progress for you and no one seems so hype, when you try to be better then the days that keep you up at night, when your hold on hope don't seem so tight. when the darkness of evil aspires to extinguish your light and your only a little lit, your light isn't that bright. and still for you they want the shadows. as if a thousand years in being treated like cattle couldn't disrupt, couldn't dismantle anyone under the sun including a king in a castle. hard moments can trap you. collapse you and years are going by, so many articles of life pass you.as you witnessed another birthday. wanting not to be mad at the calendar. who would have ever thought a particular day and date would challenge ya, to not being consumed by an idea of expiring in a condition that isn't so pretty. only those understanding the disposition of minty can feel me. by Matthew Garcia
