Freaky Friday

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

TIRED OF MODERN DATING? Try These Historical Methods! Welcome to Freaky Friday: Where history gets real, romance gets weird, and the past is way more scandalous than your high school history teacher let on. In this collection, you’ll discover the bewildering, the bizarre, and the downright ‘WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?’ moments from courtship history around the world. No boring history lectures here — just real traditions, real stories, and really good reasons to be grateful you’re dating in the 21st century (dating apps and all). Educational? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely. Will you text your friends about it immediately? Without question.

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
13
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
13+

Sept. 17 - The French Trials


In early modern France, wives could take their husbands to court for impotence. Yes. You read that right. Not for cheating. Not for being a bore at dinner parties—for literally not performing. Madame could say “Adieu” to the marriage, and the courts?L Oh, they took it very seriously.

Basically French people said “happy wife, happy life”—and then ran with it… legally.

Imagine a poor frenchman sitting in a courtroom, several witnesses watching while he tried to… prove he could fulfill his marital duties. The awkwardness alone gives me secondhand embarrassment .

Here’s how it went down:

Wife claims hubby is impotent, bringing her case to the church court (officialité).

Court calls in medical experts, priests, and sometimes midwives to assess whether he can consummate the marriage. Yes, this really happened. 😬

Witness testimony could also be used—neighbors, servants… basically anyone with an eye on… bedroom activity.

If the man was found incapable, the marriage could be annulled. No prenups. No refunds. Just “Au revoir, chérie. C’est la vie.”

Some historians call these the “épreuve du congrès” or trial by consummation, and they lasted until the late 17th century. Basically, the French church was saying: “We take romance seriously. And we demand to get preceipts.”

One famous case? The Marquis de Langey (17th century) saw his marriage annulled after his wife proved he just… couldn’t rise to the occasion.

So yes, medieval French women were holding men accountable centuries before HR, therapists, or even Tinder reviews existed.

Next time someone complains about dating apps, look just remind them: at least you don’t have to prove it in court with a panel of priests and midwives watching.