Desecration

Your eyes. They were like glittering crystals on a hot, sunny day. They dazzled in the rays of light emanating from the sun, two beautiful orbs full of life. My heart filled with a rush of emotions, but the strongest and most important emotion I felt was love, for I loved this man with my whole being. If he were to die, then I would not be able to continue. So why? Why did life have to be so cruel? Why did I have to see those same beautiful blue eyes laden with a dark, dead expression, watching as the life drained out of them?

I raised my hands, the trembling of them making it seem like an earthquake was happening. The red liquid dripped down my fingers, running along my palms, outlining the crevices of them with red, a horrifying, sticky red substance. That was the night I officially became an assassin, a murderer, a monster. Having to take the life of the one dearest to me, that was my first mission as an assassin, and it was... unbearable. My world had shattered into a million pieces, and I felt empty. Who was I? What was I? What was my purpose in this life? I didn't have an answer to any of those questions, for I felt nothing, nothing except the crushing weight of guilt and sorrow.

Glumly, I trudged through the thick mud. Specks of grime flicked up and covered my boots as I dragged my feet. They felt heavy and hard to move, small pebbles occasionally catching on my feet, hurling up and hitting my knees or shins. I didn't feel any of it, though. My mind was somewhere else completely. My shoulders were hunched, my back was bent, and my head was hung low. The horrifying events of the day cast across my face like the shadow that follows you everywhere through the bright lights, except there was no light around me, just a sullen darkness. Those terrible events that had just occurred were engraved onto my face, like a tattoo, they showed no signs of trying to stay hidden, I didn't want to hide it, yet at the same time I did, I wanted to pretend this never happened but I knew that even if my mind forgot my heart never would, it would keep it locked up in there, ready to burst out at me if I ever tried to forget. It was like a punishment, maybe some sort of sick, twisted torture, or maybe it was simply a curse, a simple curse I deserved more than anything.

As I rounded the patch of tall, overbearing trees, moping through the dark forest, my face sullen with the memories of what I had just done. Every time I tried to distract myself or think of something, anything else, the events of what happened would come rushing back to me, filling my head with terrifying images, it was like a punch to the face, it felt like a punch to the face... painful.

My limbs felt heavy as I dragged them along, walking and walking and walking, no final destination in mind. I was just wondering aimlessly, my mind wasn't even focused on where I was or where I was going, it was blank and yet at the same time filled. There were no sounds of birds chirping or the rustling of animals scurrying through bushes, just dead silence. Maybe they knew what I had just done, the monster I had just become, or maybe it was because this world was ruined, messed up... cursed... I felt cursed.

The vegetation and wildlife that used to be scattered throughout the vast forests and jungles had begun to disappear, sinking into a deep abyss never to return again. The generation before ours worked relentlessly to keep this world flourishing, but had done it all in vain, for our world had become a wasteland where only the strong survived and the weak were cut down like the trees that used to fill the large areas of land.

The world they had sought after clearly did not exist, well, either that or it was hiding. Maybe some vicious force had hidden it. Whatever the reason could have been for this barbaric situation, it was cruel. Forcing loved ones to go up against each other in a do-or-die situation, small, defenceless children getting slaughtered by their parents, siblings tormenting each other, their own flesh and blood torturing and causing pure agony and suffering onto those they deemed weak or unfit for this world, maybe that wasn't the worst thing to happen being killed, at least you wouldn't have to live in this corrupt world filled with misfortune. Some of us aren't lucky enough to be killed. For every kill, there has to be a killer, and someone has to take up that role, whether it be the weak or the strong. Predator vs prey. It isn't hard to figure out who wins because it's always the predator.

My mind was set on one thing and one thing only: what could I have done for this damned world? Could I have done anything? Maybe in another world, a parallel universe, I could have lived my life properly alongside the one I loved. For he was my world. He could have lived his life peacefully, and we could have been a happy couple, and maybe just maybe, this godawful forsaken world could have been better. A proper world where the plants flourish, covering vast horizons and the animals pranced around, eating and going about their lives in blissful happiness. But those were only a hope, a leap in the darkness, and this wasn't one of those make-believe, nonsense fairy tales where everything goes perfectly and ends with a happily ever after. Oh no, this was reality, and reality was a heinous thing.

As I came up the narrow, windy path, my eyes set sight upon a bridge. It wasn't anything fancy or big, just a small, metal bridge going across a river. Yet when I saw that bridge, it was like something clicked in my mind and I knew exactly where my legs had taken me. I was now certain about one thing, and that was what my next mission was. The next life I was to take...