RENEGADE

As frightening as my granny looked, she had nothing on my gramps. Gramps wore a red robe that he always forgot to close. Fortunately he had boxers on, although they had pink butterflies on them, which was kind of disturbing. His bulging belly flopped around like it was made of Jell-O. “Are you okay, Brett?” Gramps asked. “You scared the beejesus out of us.” “Yeah, we thought a burglar had broken into your room,” Granny said, adjusting her one-inch thick bifocals. “Or worse, an alien.” Gramps looked under my bed. “You didn’t see an alien, did you bud?” “Yeah, I think he ran into my closet.” Most normal people would realize I was joking. Unfortunately, my grandparents were far from normal. They both ran over to my closet and peered inside. “Drats, I think we missed him,” Granny said, looking behind my clothes. My 13-year old cousin, Kelly, barged into my room. Her thick glasses magnified her eyes so much that she looked like an owl. She had on an aluminum hat so aliens couldn’t read her thoughts. And no, I wasn’t joking. “What’s going on?” Kelly asked in a hushed whisper. “Did Brett see a ghost?” “Maybe it’s my mother.” Granny glanced at the ceiling and added, “I am always hearing things in the attic.” “You mean Great Granny Bowser?” I asked. “The one and only.” Granny scurried out of my room and came back with a broom. Banging it against the ceiling, she shouted, “Ma, is that you?” The rustling stopped. Granny sighed and said, “It’s just the birds in the attic. I wish my mother would visit more often.” I was speechless. Granny plopped down on my bed. “Well, we ruled out burglars, aliens, and ghosts. What had you spooked?” “Nothing, Granny. It was just a nightmare.” I didn’t want her to know I was dreaming about my parents. That would just upset her. “Oh. Okay,” Granny said. Thankfully she changed the subject. “It’s not even 5:00am. You should get some sleep. It’s your first day of school.” I groaned and buried my head in my pillow. “Can’t I go tomorrow? Or better yet, next year?” “You’ve already missed enough school,” Granny said. “I know you’re nervous, but Rocky Mountain Junior High is a great place to learn and make new friends. Right, Kelly?” Kelly leaned in close and whispered, “Run away while you still can.” “I’m famished,” Gramps said, scratching himself. “Who wants breakfast?” Granny and Kelly raised their hands and shouted, “I do!” Granny, Gramps, and Kelly stormed downstairs. I grabbed my robe and followed them. On my way to the dining room, I passed the thermostat. It was set at 50 degrees. I plopped down at the table next to Kelly. Corky, my grandparents’ golden retriever, and Snuggles the cat were by my feet, waiting for table scraps. Kelly shuffled a deck of playing cards. My grandparents brought in bowls of cream of wheat. “Why is the thermostat set so low?” I asked. “The spirits like it cold,” Granny replied. I had no idea how to respond to that, so I turned to Kelly and asked, “What are you doing, playing solitaire?” “No, I’m practicing a magic trick.” Kelly finished shuffling the cards and held them in front of me. “Pick a card, any card.” I cocked an eyebrow and grabbed a card. “Look at it.” I glanced at the card; it was a joker. “Now put it back in the deck.” I put it back. Kelly shuffled the cards a few more times and whipped one out. “Did you pick the Ace of Spades?” “Um, no.” Kelly made a face and flicked the card to the floor. She shuffled the deck a few more times and pulled out another one. “Was it the King of Hearts?” I didn’t feel like playing Kelly’s game all morning, so I said, “Yes it was!” Kelly beamed and put the cards back in the box. “I apologize for saying you were a terrible magician,” Gramps said. “Can you make your grandfather disappear?” Granny cracked. I turned around to find Kelly staring at me. “Can I help you, Kelly?” Kelly took a bite of her cream of wheat and said, “I’m trying to read your thoughts. A few weeks ago we had a psychic over for dinner, and she showed me how to read minds.” It took everything I had to keep a straight face. “Okay, so what am I thinking?” Kelly went back to staring into my eyes. Several uncomfortable minutes later, she said, “You miss your parents. And you think I’m weird.” I nearly snorted orange juice out of my nose. “Wow, maybe you are psychic.” Kelly grinned as if I had just given her the greatest compliment in the world. I stood up and said, “I’m going to get a shower.” I went back upstairs, took off my clothes, and stepped into the tub. It was even colder in the bathroom than it was downstairs. I turned the hot water knob all the way to the right. The scalding water felt good against the goosebumps on my back. I stepped out of the shower and wiped the steam off the mirror. I hardly recognized the face staring back at me. He kind of looked like me. He had green eyes, shaggy brown hair, and a scar on his forehead from all the times he crashed while skateboarding. But he seemed a little bit older and a little bit sadder than the kid I was just two weeks ago. It was then that I realized what everyone always said. I had my dad’s face and my mom’s eyes. I used to roll my eyes when people would say that. Now they were full of tears. I grabbed a tissue and wiped away my tears before they left streaks on my cheeks. I sat down on the toilet and did my best not to sob. It had only been two weeks, but it seemed like years. Two weeks ago I was living in LA, going to an awesome private school. I had good friends, cool teachers, a great life. Now I was stuck in Denver with the only family I had, my wacky grandparents and my aluminum-hat wearing cousin. I loved all three of them, but… well, they were weird. Really weird. Even worse, I was about to go to a public school full of kids and teachers I never met. I hated to admit it, but I was scared to death.It had snowed about six inches overnight, and the driveway was completely covered. I pointed at the glittering snow and said, “Shouldn’t we shovel the driveway so we don’t wreck?” “Why didn’t you treat the driveway, Fred?” Granny snapped at Gramps. Gramps adjusted his earmuffs and hollered, “Dang it woman, we live on a mountain. Storms pop up out of the blue. How am I supposed to know every time it snows in the middle of the night?” Gramps glanced at his watch and sighed. “Well, I definitely don’t have enough time to plow the road, get the kids to school, and get us to the radio station before our show starts.” I still couldn’t believe my grandparents hosted a radio show where they talked about ghosts, aliens, the Loch Ness Monster, and Elvis sightings. Apparently there were a lot of crazy people in Aspen. “We can always go to school tomorrow,” I suggested. “I’m going back to sleep.” I had barely turned around when Gramps grabbed the back of my coat. “Not so fast, kiddo. I may not be able to drive you to school, but I can certainly fly you.” Gramps dragged me past the garage behind the house, where he kept his snow plow, land rovers, and jeeps. My feet kept sinking into the snow, and Gramps slipped and slid the entire way. We finally reached his mini-hangar, which was right behind the garage. Gramps pulled out a remote and pressed a button. The hangar door slid open, revealing a helipad. On top of the helipad was Gramps’ personal helicopter. (My parents hooked my grandparents up with some of the money they made, and they liked to blow it on crazy expensive stuff.) Kelly and Granny walked in behind us. Kelly clapped her hands and said, “Oh goody! I love it when you fly me to school. It makes me popular for a day.” I rubbed the back of my neck and said, “I thought your pilot’s license was taken away a few years ago, when you knocked over a bunch of power lines and caused a city-wide blackout.” Gramps blew raspberries. “I did the city a favor by showing them what it was like for our ancestors, back when they didn’t have electricity. Besides,” he added with a wink, “what the police department doesn’t know won’t hurt them.” I tried to run back to the house, but Granny grabbed my hood. Once we were all settled in the helicopter, Gramps said, “It’s been a while since I last flew this piece of junk. I hope I remember how.” Kelly stared at me with her magnified, owl-like eyes. “Isn’t this exciting? I love to fly!” Excited? No. Terrified? Yes. Gramps started the engine. The propellers began to whip around, slowly at first, then faster and faster. They made a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh sound, kind of like an oversized fan. Gramps pushed another button on his remote, and the top of the hangar began to open. Snow fell off the roof and piled up on the floor. “All right, gang, hang tight!” Gramps said as the helicopter flew into the sky. “How about we listen to some music?” Granny suggested. She popped in a CD, and Metallica blared from the speakers in the front and rear of the helicopter. Granny and Gramps started banging their heads and singing along to Fade To Black. I closed my eyes and quietly said, “Please don’t crash, please don’t crash.” I don’t know how long I sat there with my eyes closed, but I finally opened them after Kelly poked me 20 times. “We’re in the air,” she said. I quit being a wuss and gazed out the window. The view was unbelievable. I had flown on countless planes, but that was nothing compared to riding in a helicopter, weaving past snow-capped mountains in the morning twilight. I looked out the front window and noticed a thin red line on the horizon. Sunbeams filtered through the cracks of the massive, dark clouds blanketing the sky. It truly was an amazing way to go to school. Toward the end of the flight, I even started jamming with my grandparents. My school was only about 10 miles from our cabin, so we got there in no time. We flew over the fenced-in football field in the back and came around the front. It was a humongous school, about three stories tall with lots of windows. A giant banner with the words Rocky Mountain Junior High hung from the roof. The school parking lot was crowded. Hundreds of cars and dozens of buses slowly snaked around the block. Several police officers directed traffic. There was a lot less snow down in the valley than way up in the mountains. I started to get nervous. Out of desperation, I said, “It doesn’t look like there’s anywhere for you to land, Gramps. Maybe we should go home.” “Why don’t you just land on the roof like last time, Grandpa?” Kelly suggested. “Good idea, Kelly!” Gramps jerked the helicopter to the left and circled the school. “Don’t be ridiculous, Fred,” Granny said. “Land on the football field.” Oh, and that wasn’t ridiculous? Gramps jerked the helicopter toward the football field, nearly toppling me out of my seat. He landed near the 50-yard line. The propellers sent a cloud of snow way up into the sky, making it look like a mini blizzard. The propellers finally died down. Gramps yanked open the hatch door and we all hopped out. About 100 kids, parents, and teachers were waiting for us. Dozens more rushed over. I couldn’t blame them for checking us out. I’m sure it wasn’t everyday a helicopter landed on the football field. “Get out of my way, maggots!” A beefy looking man shoved a bunch of kids out of the way and marched up to our helicopter. The man was very muscular, had short, brown hair, and wore a cut-off T-Shirt and shorts. And yes, it was still only 5 degrees outside. A whistle dangled from the man’s neck, so I assumed he was the gym teacher. Kelly waved and said, “Hi, Colonel Slaughter. Are we playing dodgeball today?” “Quiet, maggot!” Kelly giggled. “Colonel Slaughter’s so funny.” I leaned forward and asked, “Why is he called Colonel Slaughter?” “Quiet, maggot!” Slaughter snapped. “If you have a question about me, then ask me, not Ms. Slacker.” Kelly giggled again. “That’s my nickname.” I cleared my throat. “Er, sorry, Mr. Slaughter. I…” “That’s Colonel Slaughter, maggot. I’m the gym teacher and vice principal here at Rocky Mountain Junior High. My name is Colonel Slaughter because I used to be a colonel in the military. I once killed a terrorist with my bare hands. And I don’t appreciate you and Ms. Slacker here causing a ruckus.” Before I could respond, a short, bald, African-American man squeezed past all the students and said, “What is going on here?” Colonel Slaughter crossed his arms and said, “I have everything under control, Principal Bradford.” Principal Bradford rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure you do, Betsy.” Betsy?