Always Been You

Nina Anderson stared morosely into the bottom of her wine glass, willing it to refill with the power of her thoughts. When the wine refused to magically appear despite her best efforts she sighed in defeat. This night definitely had not gone as she'd planned.

She unfolded her legs from beneath her, rose from the couch and grabbed the empty wine bottle. Padding barefoot into the kitchen she plopped the empty bottle onto the counter cringing at the sound of the glass hitting the granite surface.

She pulled another bottle of sweet red from the fridge, and rummaged around her cupboards for a pack of her favourite snack. She chose a small pack of the pretzel cheese snacks then promptly put it back and grabbed one of the large bags. She wanted comfort right now, a small pack definitely wasn’t going to cut it.

She couldn’t believe this was happening to her again.

For the second time in her life she had been dumped on her birthday.

“Talk about history repeating itself” she muttered under her breath.

At least this time the guy had the decency to show up and break it off. Last time all she’d gotten was a crummy text.

So now here she was, on her twenty-third birthday, dressed to the nines with nowhere to go. Honestly she was more annoyed than hurt, so she obviously hadn’t lost the greatest love of her life. That took some of the sting out of the situation but still, a girl had her pride.

She made her way back to the couch and set the wine and snacks on the coffee table while she peeled off her black stockings. She really wished she had some girlfriends that she could call that would come running with ice cream and more wine, and trash talk her new ex, but she didn’t.

All she had was Joe, her ride or die, best friend in the whole world. But she couldn’t call him, at least not tonight. It was Joe’s birthday too and he was out celebrating with his girlfriend. She would tell him all about her shitty birthday tomorrow when they met up for their celebration. It was tradition for them to meet up on the weekend after their birthday for their own “party”.

Sometimes they went out or they might just crash at either of their apartments with fast food and wine coolers. Well wine coolers for her at least and beer for Joe. This year they were supposed to try a new Indian Restaurant that had just opened but now she definitely wanted to just bug out at Joe’s Place.

“Why can’t I find anybody as great as you Joe?” she took a swig of her wine. “Now he would be the perfect boyfriend.” she muttered around one of the pretzels in her mouth.

Years ago they used to joke that if they were still single on their thirtieth birthday they would marry each other. She let her mind wander over that possibility briefly and shuddered. Joe was like her brother, no way that was happening. It was just too weird.

She turned her attention to the TV surfing through the channels looking for something to watch. At least one of them was having a good birthday. For tonight it was just her, this bottle of wine, her snacks, and the TV. Tomorrow she would have Joe.

She landed on a sitcom rerun and let it play in the background, more noise than distraction.

The wine made her eyelids heavy, and the comfort of the couch slowly pulled her under.

She didn’t remember falling asleep—just the soft haze of wine and comfort, and the thought of seeing Joe tomorrow.

She’d tell him everything then. Probably.

Joe quietly let himself into Nina’s apartment. He would not usually drop by unannounced but she wasn’t answering her phone. He tried calling several times to no avail and even now he was here, knocking on her door hadn’t yielded an answer either.

He stuck his head around the door and called

“Nina?”

He saw shoes and stockings strewn on the floor.

“Nina?” he called again. The only answer he got was gentle snoring from the couch’s direction.

Nina was a sucker for big furniture so a huge sectional dominated her living room. The only way they could have made it fit was to turn the longest section so that it faced away from the front door. He thought it was hilarious but Nina didn’t care. She was determined to have it.

He walked around the couch and smiled. She was curled up sleeping still wearing her clothes from the night before. She must have had a hell of a night. It was almost Midday and she was still sleeping. An empty wine bottle and bag of her favourite snack were on the coffee table.

He set down the box he was holding on the table. It was wrapped with a big purple ribbon- purple had been her color for as long as he could remember. Over the years he’d gotten her everything imaginable for her birthday, this year her gift was so ridiculously simple it was hilarious but he had no doubt she was going to love it.

He squatted next to her head taking the opportunity to observe her. He rarely got the chance to look at her without having to filter his gaze. Nina owned him, heart and soul but she was blissfully unaware of that fact. Worse than the friend zone, he was firmly entrenched in the “brother” zone and it sucked. He was still hopeful though but watching her be with someone else was pure hell.

He had a girlfriend but he knew it wasn’t going anywhere and he was going to have to come clean with Erica. She was great and she deserved more than what he was giving her. It wasn’t fair to keep stringing her along, he needed to break things off, sooner than later.

He continued gazing down at Nina drinking in her features. From her lush full lips up to her short crop of curls.

She’d jumped on the natural hair bandwagon and did her big chop last year, discovered that she really liked how hassle free her short hair was and had decided to keep it short. It suited her, but then he wouldn’t care even if she went bald headed.

He gently traced along the ridge of her ear. The small diamond earrings he’d given her for Christmas last year nestled in her lobe. She had gotten a second piercing just so she would never have to take them out. His finger trailed across her cheek, brushing her copper toned skin, smooth and warm under his touch. He was so tempted to follow the path of his fingers with his lips. To taste her and breathe her in, get lost in her.

At his touch she stirred and stretched. The movement caused the neckline of her dress to shift, teasing him with a glimpse of copper toned cleavage. He shifted his position perching on the edge of the coffee table.

“Hey” he said as she blinked awake, a mild surprised look on her face.

“Hey “ she said, dragging her hand across her mouth where she had a little drool. “What...When did you get here?”

She didn’t need to ask how he got in. They each had a key to the other’s apartment.

“Just now. I came over because you weren’t answering your phone. He said. "I figured last night must have been epic."

“Ugh! Epic fail” she swung her legs to the floor.

“What?" A flicker of concern pushed through him. "Why?" He leaned in without even realizing it. "What happened?”

She sat up slowly still feeling the effects of the wine.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just need a minute.”

“So what happened last night?’ he pressed.

“Let me go and brush my teeth first. Wine and cheese do not good morning breath make.” she stood up and made her way to the bathroom wobbling only slightly.

Joe watched her walking away, curious to find out what had transpired the night before. “ You want some coffee?” he called

“Sure. Thanks”

Joe went into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. He took two mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter. Opening the fridge he took out a carton of eggs and some butter, rummaged around for a frying pan, and set it on the stove. By the time Nina returned to the kitchen he had two plates of scrambled eggs and toast to go with their coffee.

“Wow,” Nina said as he offered her the mug. “Thanks”

“I thought you might appreciate something a little more substantial than coffee”

She’d showered and changed instead of just brushing her teeth, and was now wearing leggings and a tank top. The lingering fruity essence of her body wash wafted over to him as she took up her plate and headed back into the living room. She set her plate on the coffee table, noticing the wrapped box as she did.

Joe followed her, admiring the view from behind. Those leggings left little to the imagination, perfectly showcasing shapely legs and full hips.

Nina picked up the box and shook it, sending a curious glance his way.

“Open It” Joe said, putting his plate and mug beside hers.

Nina plopped down onto the sofa, legs folded beneath her and tugged at the ribbon. She removed the cover and pulled back the layers of tissue paper

“Oh My goodness!” a huge smile broke over her face “Where did you find these?”

Nestled in the box were four jumbo bags of pretzel cheese Combos.

"I've never seen them this big before."

“Amazon, where else?” he replied, relishing her delight.

She lifted one of the bags out of the box and hugged it to her suddenly teary eyed.

“Hey, what’s this?” Joe asked concerned as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Why are you crying Nina? It’s just a bag of pretzels” he definitely wasn’t expecting tears.

“Roger dumped me last night.” she wailed

“Son of a …”

He moved to take her in his arms.

“Oh Baby, I'm so sorry this is happening to you again”

He cringed a little as he let the “baby” slip but she didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Dumped on my birthday! Again!” she cried knowing she was being overdramatic. She was really feeling sorry for herself more than anything else.

Joe rubbed her back soothingly as she sobbed out her misery. Comforting her as she cried over another guy was depressing to say the least but at least he had her in his arms so he was counting it as a win, pathetic as it was.

“You want to talk about it?” he settled into the couch beside her and she curled up against him.

“Not Really. I don’t even know why I’m crying, he wasn’t even a great boyfriend. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”

Joe didn’t say anything right away. He just rubbed her shoulder, his touch warm and steady.

She leaned into him a little more than she meant to.

“Well under the circumstances, I think that’s allowed” Joe was curious about the prior evening’s events but if she wasn’t up for discussing it he wouldn’t pry.

“Still want to check out that new restaurant?”

She sat up, dried her eyes, and picked up her coffee, holding it between both hands like it was anchoring her. She stared into the mug for a moment, then shook her head.

“Do you mind if we just hang out at home?”

Joe met her eyes and nodded. “Of course not.”

She took a sip from her mug. "My coffee never tastes this good. How do you do it?”

“Nothing to it really” he shrugged. “Pizza? We could make it together.”

’hmmm. Don’t think I’m up for the dough-making part”

“Ok, so we”ll do it the lazy way,” Joe said

“What’s that,” Nina asked digging into her toast and eggs.”

“We use flatbread for the crust.”

“Oh. That’s a great idea.”

“Yep. It’ll be like a thin-crust pizza”.

She nodded, then added quietly, “I’m really glad you came over.”

He gave her that crooked smile she’d known since they were six.

Her throat tightened. Don’t be weird, she told herself. You grew up with him. He’s practically family. She took another sip of coffee, but the warmth in her chest had nothing to do with the drink.