Chapter 1
“I messed up!”
“Damn! I hate my damn brain!”
The desk groans soon after Kim slams his fist hard on it.
A drop of blood reaches the desk from his nose, and a river of red is about to start.
Why not? After all, the principal rejected nursing, and those sycophants closed the door after punching him with vulgarity.
They aren't friends. They never were actually.
Kim kicks the injured shut mouthed desk aside which cracks further after crashing on the wall with a THUD!
I shouldn't have even listened to him! He thinks aggressively. His hands itch to destroy the sides.
Will she even spare a sec to care? Oh nah! Just get jealous! An-and protect a crush!
Overthinking starts to spread in his tiny mind like a virus that he has never escaped during loneliness, almost every single day.
Kim grabs his head in desperation, clenches his teeth when the recent memories hit…The foolishness he has committed, and the countless slaps he has gotten after punching one person who makes that crush smile.
The smile on her face keeps popping up in his mind repeatedly with no popping sound.
Kim’s rigid posture gets slouched when he brings his legs up to the chair and buries his face on his knees.
She doesn't even know me!
The sun casts a warm glow on his uniform when it starts to settle down.
For now! I expect almost nothing that she will come here…
Kim looks up from his knees to see something better to heal his eyes, and suddenly a spark returns to his stoned eyes when she comes into the view. Her gaze down.
Kim freezes, blinks once and when he comes to his senses, he jumps up abruptly, shaking his chair, which falls backwards with a metallic CLANK!
His heart beats faster than ever, and eyes are too settled to blink anymore.
Wait! Rin? She is here?
He abruptly looks at the window to see his reflection, fixes his messy hair to a more messy one.
Calm down! Calm down, she will just provoke me… that's all…
He looks around nervously, not moving his face though, just eyes.
Rin, the girl who unknowingly has given the boy a soft heart attack, after stepping inside the room, looks up at Kim, and her legs stop proceeding forward.
But when she sees the guy has just stopped staring, she takes steps ahead. Although her throat feels dry and heart pumps a bit faster.
“Hello…” She makes her actual first step.
Kim keeps looking down, while his mind and heart force him to fill the silence, but at the end he ends up embarrassing himself. Falls on the chair as a burden.
Rin looks away either, feels like she got rejected, well for her it's expected from a guy who is famous for not being famous.
Rin approaches and sits just besides Kim on the next bench. “You are Kim?” Her voice is smooth as silk.
Kim takes a deep breath to calm himself down, which doesn't help him though, then he just decides to bluff up. “Yes.. I am.”
“Ohh…” Rin exclaims creating an ‘O’ shape on her mouth.
“I heard about that.” She adds. “Can you please tell me why you did that?”
From her words, Kim confirms himself that she is really trying too hard to seem kind.
“Why did you beat Jen?” Her voice cracks a bit while saying that name, “And why this?” Points at his red nose.
Although she makes no move to stand and bring a first aid box.
While Kim, after struggling internally, turns around to face her and catches her looking directly at him. Clears his throat.
Don't stutter this time…
“Jen was speaking vulgarly.” His voice shifts softly, “That's why I beat him. But I didn't punch him that hard like they have done to me.”
Rin nods slowly, even if she doesn't quite agree, “He was saying vulgar…” She repeats. “Really?”
Kim looks away for a second, “About… you. And I just! Couldn't!” He clenches his fingers into a fist to show the girl that he's angry and protective.
But it puts a negative impression on her, she moves forward, “Hey! calm down.” She reaches out to touch him, but doesn't.
“You are just over expressive.” Says Rin firmly, “There was no need for those… I didn't ask…” She murmurs the last three words.
“He is bad!” Kim shakes his head, “And… I'm telling you that!”
“Yes.” Rin replies, tries to make this encounter light, and not intense, she even uses her hands to get a control over this situation. “Yes, ok, but there was really no need!”
Kim sighs and says without thinking like always, “But I've to protect what I care.”
Rin looks at his eyes, sees the tense, she does the same, sighs, “Try to understand, I know you felt that, but I've my… insecurities too.” She pouts while saying that, looking away.
“I have my boundaries.”
Kim's eyes dazzle, avoids her gaze, he opens his mouth to speak, but before he speaks up–
“It feels like a knot!” Rin says that out loud.
Kim closes his eyes to control himself, “I'm sorry!”
He says those words that he has never said to anyone before, not even when cracking a lady's hand.
The moment comes in a sudden and moving in a way that everything is just blurry and not understandable at all.
Rin sees the behavior of Kim, and she just grabs her head, rests her elbows on the desk, “It's ok…” She whispers.
She turns towards him again, “Don't be jealous.” Frowns softly, “Please.. sorry if I am so bland… everyone says I'm too direct.”
Kim's head bowed down in defeat, “You are right.” He admits the truth, that he has kept in his core and was not admitting. “I was jealous, over protective when I didn't have to.”
As soon as the truth leaves his mouth by taking the form of voice, he brushes the blood away from his nose.
Rin runs her fingers in her hair, the frown has gone, replaced by a concerned face, “You look sick, why don't you go to the cabin?”
“Principal rejected.” He answers coldly, “Said they won't allow medics to a brat like me.”
“So I'm sitting here.”
“So you are just sitting?” Rin repeats, she looks around like ‘What a guy!’
She stands, leaning forward at the front, looking at the board.
Kim sees her feet, that's where his gaze belongs to now, he almost gets lost in thoughts, and something he says maybe he will regret forever… “I like you…”
The clock which was ticking in the background becomes the highlight. And the wind too.
“Deeply.” Kim adds, still looking at her feet shows how hopeless he is now, said something directly on the girl's face, without hesitation.
“I know.” Rin answers calmly, watching the texts on the board.
Kim looks up at her, “You knew?”
She knew? Was I that obvious?
His lips tremble with unspoken emotions, feels lost, what even he can do now.
“I expected this.” Says Rin, surprisingly very calm, “You were jealous because.. Jen is close to me… and you beat him.”
Kim looks at his fingers, which have taken the blood, “Yes.” he just admits it, has nothing left now to be revealed.
But Rin smiles finally, “Kim, you are so honest. I.. you know? I was too scared before talking to you.”
She erases the distance between them slowly, “I must look flawless and perfect, but no.”
“When I heard that a guy named Kim beat Jen and yelled at him for me, I was shocked, and scared that where I'm getting trapped now.”
She puts a hand on his shoulder, which makes Kim look up at her eyes.
“I swear I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!”
Rin nods, “Calm down. I'm not uncomfortable anymore… still jus’ a bit.” She giggles.
Kim's heart swells when he sees the girl smiling this much, alone with him, and he can't help but smile back, which he doesn't have control over.
“You said you have to protect what you care for.” Rin caresses his shoulder, “And if that's me… I'm happy, but will you make me a bird? Trapped in a prison?”
Kim's head shoots up in shock, he shakes his head viciously, “No! Never! I said I was just…” He stops soon after realising what he's saying, he doesn't and shouldn't have control over someone…
His voice dries down, and just swallows air.
I should stop this nonsense…
I didn't realise I was making her life harder by getting added into her life like it's… free!
He exhales, “I was not thinking about how you feel, I just beat him thinking that this will help or… I will open some fantasized door to be closer.”
“To be honest! I didn't really give a sec to think about this. But…” He tries to touch her hand over his shoulder, “Please tell me what do you want?”
Rin removes her hand softly after seeing such vulnerability that the guy just has unlocked, she spins to the other side, making her back see him.
“Kim?” She murmurs, “Which role do you wanna play in my life? Is it just for you? Or we can achieve something… that.. we can't do by staying apart.”
Kim's mouth agape after hearing such bold words, and vomits up everything he’s thinking about, “Your life? It's not an open world that I should just… enter shamelessly and hope that you will accept…”
A single tear rolls down his cheek, he covers his face to forehead with his hand, “How selfish I was!”
He swallows hard disgustingly almost to himself, while the girl is just smiling, looking at the board, her eyes filling with tears, she looks down.
The soft wind kisses her cheek gently. Which soothes her down.
She steps backwards at Kim even if she knows she will crash on a bench, this movement makes her seem very playful like a kid who is feeling something very deep.
Kim removes his hands from his face after collecting a mixed river of red and transparent.
“So what's your answer?” She asks again, stops just beside him.
At this time, Kim's heart starts beating normally, steady, not fast, he is too focused on Rin that overthinking doesn't come anymore.
And after thinking for a moment, he thinks of answering, still avoiding her gaze, “I want to take care of you… far better than any parents.”
Rin's heart stops, she stares at the board in disbelief, but then she controls herself and smiles softly, “Don't outdone yourself in the flow… That's all I wanna say.”
With that she turns away to leave the room, can't show the tears she is letting fall freely now and even she has to understand this deep depth she is feeling in her heart.
She just stops before the door, still with her back facing him, “Now, let's ask forgiveness to my brother.”
(The End)
