Chapter 1
Author’s Note:
This piece deals with heavy emotions, including feelings of numbness, anxiety, and despair. It reflects personal experiences and explores dark, introspective thoughts. Reader discretion is advised. If you find these themes triggering, please take care of yourself while reading.
here you go loves,
I wanted to run away, not from home--- but from life
to escape life forever in any kind of way. To escape the reality you don’t like, to escape everything.
It’s funny how it’s all coming back.
The numbness, the remembering of how u used to feel joy and realising you don’t now. The panic attacks, the thoughts, all of it.
You look at yourself, and it hits you: you’re not there. Maybe you never were. You’ve never felt like yourself anyway.
You lost yourself along the way where you were trying, but no one noticed, and maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.
You never really realise that you have fallen in the same dark place you did years ago, and maybe you aren’t meant to.