Uninvited

I can’t believe I agreed to this…

I stared out the window as the trees blurred by on the highway, my cousin Elana in the driver’s seat. “Ugh,” Elana spat, “Stop doing that!” She smacked my hand away from my mouth. I had been chewing on my cuticles, which is what I do when I’m nervous. This time I was ruining the perfect manicure she had insisted I get before this trip.

“The guys will not be impressed by your shredded nails,” she said. “It’s actually gross,” she added.

This was how this trip would go - her watching me like a hawk waiting to pounce on my every wrong move.

Elana had gone to Haaaarvard and in no time was partying with kids from elite boarding schools, who had money I couldn’t even comprehend. She easily ingratiated herself with them and now was the authority on America’s wealthy and how to behave. She had gone around the world with them on their private jets and on their yachts, and now we were heading for a week of partying in one of her friends’ mansions.

This wasn’t just any friend, this was her on again off again douche of a boyfriend, Tyler. In fact, we were sitting in his “old” Range Rover at this very moment. Crazy, because to me it smelled like a new car.

I had been dragged along on this expedition - basically my mom begged Elana to set me up with one of her rich friends. Elana loved the idea and quickly took me on as her little project.

One week. In an incredible mansion. I should be able to handle that, right?

The problem is I already know I am not a debutante and there is no way I will fit in with this group. Elana, however, is hell-bent on making me fit in. We’ve spent the last week picking out outfits, discussing etiquette, and, of course, getting the damn manicure.

On top of that, I’ve only met Tyler once, and it did not go well. I remember his constant smirk at Thanksgiving last year that made my stomach turn. How he seemed to look down on everything about our family and how he called everything cute. How he chuckled condescendingly when I talked about my volunteer work. Somehow the family seemed to love him.

Just get through the week, I told myself. Then everyone will get off my back.

My pulse quickened and I could feel a pit in my stomach. The GPS said we were getting close. That meant it was almost showtime, where my every move would be analyzed and critiqued by not just Elana, but probably her friends as well. On top of that, Elana had told me about Tyler’s mysterious old money mother who is a stickler for etiquette.

We exited the highway and started down a long road. We rolled past a stone guardhouse where a man stepped out and smiled at Elana.

“Welcome back, Ms. Grant.”

“Great to see you, Marcus!” she chimed, like she owned the place.

Of course she knew the guard by name. She could charm anyone.

As we rolled through the gate, I couldn’t see anything besides trees. Where are all the houses? Finally, after what seemed like forever, we pulled up to a massive stone building. Gravel crunched beneath the car.

I realized that it wasn’t a development we had entered, that gate was just for Tyler’s house. What I saw as we drove up took my breath away.

I realized I was more out of my depth than I thought.

The house was more magnificent than anything I had ever seen. I made a mental note to look it up on Zillow later. A huge stone structure emerged from a perfectly manicured lawn with even more perfect landscaping. Two staircases on either side led up to a grand balcony.

Who else would be standing there, but Tyler with his signature smirk, looking out from above like he owned the entire world. In that moment, he could convince me that he did.

The sound of my car door opening startled me out of my trance. A valet had opened my door. I stepped out to take in the pristine, cool air smelling of fresh flowers. Elana was already floating up the steps excitedly.

I moved towards the trunk to grab my things. The valet stood in my way with a confused look. “Madam…,” he said in a low voice.

“Andy, get up here!” Elana yelled. “They’ll bring it to your room!” Her voice had a hint of annoyance. I hadn’t even been here for 60 seconds before making my first faux pas. My cheeks burned and I resisted the urge to get back in the car and head home. I suddenly felt twelve years old again, caught doing something wrong.

I walked up stone steps, still in absolute awe of the house and even more in awe that I would be staying here for a week. Tyler was watching me, clearly amused, as he picked up on my astonishment.

I walked towards him, Elana already draped over him, when I heard squeals coming from within the house. Three ladies dashed out to hug and fawn over Elana, each telling her how absolutely gorgeous and skinny she looked. They were all beautiful, fashionably dressed, and had impeccable hair and makeup.

I glanced down at my shorts and sandals. Clearly I was underdressed even for arrival. I had thought straightening my hair and putting on some makeup was making an effort.

Elana waltzed over to me, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me towards her friends. “Girls, meet my baby cousin Andy,” she beamed. She was showing me off like she would a school project. “Awwww Lan she’s adorbs,” they cooed. It sounded like I was a new puppy they’d be training this week.

“Ty, you remember Andy,” Elana proclaimed. Tyler stepped in to give me a welcoming hug and then went in for a kiss on the cheek. My skin tingled and not in a good way.

“Welcome to my humble abode, Andy,” he said, “Glad you could be here for my birthday week.” Of course this was his birthday week.

Kill me now.