Chapter 1
It was in the cover of night little Phoebe was left to carefully consider which of her toys was more precious to take. Her family had been hurriedly packing all day for their cross-country venture to move into her grandmother’s home after her father’s business imploded.
The kitchens overhead light casting a hollow illumination of the bare floors and walls. Phoebe tried to push back all the memories from the farmhouse. How her parents had promised to get her a horse and take her to learn how to care and ride one.
Now she never would.
With a swift motion, Phoebe grabbed her plastic bag of dolls and rushed into her parents vehicle. Fighting to look back at all the other toys she had made stories with. The toys that had been a boon to her while friendless and isolated.
Years later, the keys were handed off to her from the previous owner. An old man who had fixed it up.
The old chicken coop torn down, the decrepit dog kennelredesigned. New fences put up.
“You don’t have to do this alone.” He said, his hand resting in30 year old Phoebe’s shoulder. “Its not like I have anything better to do at the moment.”
Her older brother stood beside her as she took in the property that had held a part of her heart for 17 years.
“I don’t plan on doing this alone. But I need to know I can do it without memories surfacing every second.”
She was going to turn the farmhouse into a sanctuarybut before any of that she needed to live without anyone else in the house.
Phoebe had to rewrite all the memories she had.
The ones of her trying to fit in by hosting a 20 girl sleepover in the basement, the ones where she made bread that tasted like cardboard because of lack of salt from a breadmaker, memories where she sat scrolling through satellite channels because she didn’t have friends to talk to and it felt too sad to pretend with her toys.
The memories of wearing her father’s old civilian camouflage fatigues and running around giggling.
To get rid of that bittersweet taste in her mouth when she stood on that deck on the upper level and overlooked the bumpy field that had been replaced with a training pasture for horses.
Her first plan of action would be to paint every single wall anything but white or citrus. Lord knows she didn’t need a reminder of that orange plant her mom attempted to keep alive in her parents bedroom alongside that telescope.
Then mouse traps everywhere.
Her mother violently squashing a mouse with a spatula kept her in line for years after and she didn’t want to even think about the vermin.
“give me one good reason I should wear a dress?” She folded her arms.
Her black sheep of a brother, Thane calmed his face in tired exasperation.
“it’s a reunion. Of course you should wear a dress!”
“I only saw these people for a a year and a half tops! I doubt we would remember each other!” Phoebe throw her arms up.
“don’t you still want to see what Kelsey ended up as? You know the one you told me would pick on you?”
She rolled her eyes. Kelley had been the ‘mean girl’ who appeared out of nowhere.
Phoebe’s second day of the new school had started with the new girl following her taking all the attention. It didn’t bother her too much as she knew that once her new girl status wore off she wouldn’t be so shiny to the people in class but it was almost like whiplash how suddenly the girls who had been sucking up to Phoebe switched to Kelsey.
At the time it felt big, but she had been 13. Everything felt super important back then.
Even the large bruise in Kelseys forehead that grew in size by the day until it looked like she was growing a horn.
Alongside her devilish behavior, Phoebe would secretly call her devil girl.
“Sure I might be a little bit curious but I can live without knowing.” Like she needed a reason to go to an event to mingle with people and only get herself in hot water.
Trying to figure out subtext was difficult enough among the people she knew. Complete strangers were an anomaly.
“They will have a buffet style catering with dessert.” Her brother teased her.
Damn it.
“fine. But only for 1 hour and then we are leaving.”
“I wasn’t planning on staying long anyways! I only want you to come so I’m not all alone with a bunch of people while rigging up the events tech.”
Her brother had taken a job doing tech work for events in the town close by.
It was not quite a town but not quite a city either. It had definitely grown in since since she last had seen it but parts still felt nostalgic.
#
The chattering of people enveloped Phoebe as she walked into the hall.
She had put on a casual dress and kept on her shoes. There was no way she would try to navigate gravel in heels.
She scanned the room until she saw her brother fiddling with the speakers on the stage.
“Phoebe?!” A gothic style woman approached her.
She squinted for a moment. Her eyes growing huge in realization.
“Bree?” she used to be less gothic. Wore a black sweater and stuff but now her makeup was fully gothic and super stylish.
Her old friend chuckled. “Actually its Rook now. Bree just didn’t fit me anymore.”
Rook tucked a strand of her luscious black hair behind her ear.
“when was the last time we saw each other?” Phoebe asked.
Rook started walking towards the snack table and Phoebe followed.
“probably when my mom took us to the stampede together.” When I had moved back to Calgary, I had been 14-15 by then and I had kept in contact. We saw each other last time at the stampede but lost touch after that.
“is everyone here?” Phoebe glanced around the crowd of chatting adults.
“yup. Even Tay.” Phoebe met Rook’s eyes.
“Didn’t she move to the states?”
Rook shrugged.
“I don’t know. I didn’t stay in contact with her. Just looked at the list. Her name is unmistakable.”
Andrechefski was a name she would never forget.
“I wonder if the kids in the states humbled her.”
Phoebe could still remember just before moving how Tay bragged about her family moving to the states and how the kids in her class would ‘worship’ her because apparently ‘canada was superior’ and somehow she would be better than all of them.
If she had been more cunning, there was no doubt that she could have been ‘queen bee’ at school.
“what about Kevin?” the boy she had once crushed on from the background in class.
“also here but he’s short, stubbly and like death warmed over. Rumor is he had a stint in the Dream Centre.”
Phoebe hissed in a sharp breath. “oof.”
The Dream Centre was a location for those struggling. Including people needing a place to go through withdrawals.
“Carson?” she eyed a tall, fit man across the hall talking to her brother.
Rook followed her line of sight.
“you found him. Apparently he is making a new store in town but nothing on what it is yet.”
Phoebe’s eyes met Rook’s.
“no way is that Carson. He’s-He’s…”
“totally hot?” Rook teased.
Totally hot was an understatement.
His caramel skin had deepened since grade 6. His height towered over her by a good few feet and his hair was just long enough to comb through.
She watched her brother talk to Carson quietly.
Then something her brother said must have been hilarious because a frustratingly delicious dimple appeared on Carson’s face followed by a deep chuckle that vibrated the marrow in her bones.
I.Am. Fucked.
