Light.
The soft blankets wrapped around your shoulders.
Your hair matted from the pillow.
The room dark and unwavering.
Time doesn’t pass when you’re sad.
In fact it creeps like anold black widow waiting for something to fall in her web.
The faint swooshes of the ceiling fan.
The faint hum from the tv from being left on but nothing hasbeen playing on it.
You wonder if the world will swallow you laying in your bed.
You wonder if it’s worse than anything you’ve everexperienced before.
You invite a shadow in and he lays next to you.
He whispers in your ear.
He twists memories and makes them feel so fresh all youcould do is sit with the guilt.
You take a shower and he follows you.
You go to the store and he’s patiently waiting for you tocome back.
He fills your head with doubt and just when you think youcan breathe he reminds you once again how hard it is to love you.
How picky you are.
How much of a burden you are.
How you’ve done nothing with your life.
He then lays you back down in your bed and wraps his armsaround you.
You embrace him.
You kiss him.
You love him.
You can’t get enough of him.
He tells you he loves you and he’ll always be here.
Soon he’s there when you leave the house as well.
When you’re driving to the gas station.
When you’re walking in the park.
When you’re out with friends.
A hand on your shoulder.
His mouth to your ear.
One night it becomes too much.
You beg him to leave.
You scream for him to go away.
He looks at you pitifully.
He wraps you in his arms.
You finally can’t take it.
This is the end you think to yourself.
You feel a warmth.
You feel sun.
You don’t feel him anymore.
A voice.
A familiar voice.
It whispers in your ears three simple words.
I love you.
You open your eyes.
You look around.
You see her things in your home.
But this time you feel happy.
A feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time.
You look at her pictures.
You smell her old aprons.
Though the shadow is still there you learn how to live withhim.
You don’t feed him.
You don’t pay him any attention.
Eventually he becomes small.
Like a mouse living in your walls.
Annoying but nothing dangerous.
You keep him in a box.
You put it away in your closet.
You live your life knowing he’s in there.
Occasionally you’ll hear his serpent tongue but this timeyou pay him no mind.
You now live with the grief.
You now laugh about the memories.
You appreciate.
You love.
