Chapter 1
[OPENING: WALT DISNEY PICTURES LOGO]
[START OF FILM]
Chip: This is your lunch, OK?
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
You remember your phone number?
Betsy: wrote it down for you, just in case.
Put it in your pocket,
I don’t want you to lose it.
OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.
Chip: It’s Cady’s big day.
Cady narrating: I guess it’s natural for parents to cry
on their kid’s first day of school./em
But, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is 5 ./em
I’m 16 and until today,
I was home-schooled./em
emI know what you’re thinking.
homeschooled kids are... different. And, well, we kinda are./em
[SPELLING BEE CONTEST IN AUDITORIUM]
Young Cady: X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
Cady narrating: Or that we’re weirdly religious
or something./em
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO A BUNCH OF HOMESCHOOLED KIDS]
Homeschooled Kid: And on the third day,
God created lightning-powered rollerblades,
so Man could outrun
dinosaurs and impress his neighbors.
Homeschooled Kids together: Amen.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO A SERIES OF PHOTOS/SNAPSHOTS OF CADY IN THE AFRICAN SAVANNAH WITH HER PARENTS SURROUNDED BY ANIMALS]
Cady narrating: But my family’s totally normal./em
Except for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists
and we’ve spent the last
years in Africa./em
I had a great life./em
But then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University./em
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO THE ENTRANCE OF NORTH SHORE HIGH]
So it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school./em
Cady: I’m OK. Sorry.
I’ll be careful.
[TAKEN IN CLASSROOM]
Hi.
I don’t know if anyone
told you about me.
I’m a new student here.
My name is Cady Heron.
Kristen Hadley: Talk to me like that again,
and you’re gonna be in big trouble.
Janis: You don’t wanna sit there. Kristen
Hadley’s boyfriend is gonna sit there.
Kristen Hadley: Hey, baby.
Janis: He passes gas a lot.
Miss Norbury: Hey, everybody.
[CADY BUMPS INTO MISS NORBURY]
Cady: Oh, Gosh, I’m so sorry.
Miss Norbury: It’s not you. I’m bad luck.
Principal Duvall: Ms. Norbury?
Miss Norbury: My T-shirt’s stuck
to my sweater, isn’t it?
Cady: Yeah.
Miss Norbury: Fantastic.
Principal Duvall: Is everything all right in here?
Cady: Oh, yeah.
Principal Duvall: So...
...how was your summer?
Miss Norbury: I got divorced.
Principal Duvall: My carpal tunnel came back.
Miss Norbury: I win.
Principal Duvall: Yes, you do.
Well, I just wanted to let
everyone know
that we have a new student joining us.
She just moved here
all the way from Africa.
Miss Norbury: Welcome.
Michigan Girl: I’m from Michigan.
Miss Norbury: Great.
Principal Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.
- Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That’s me.
It’s pronounced like Katie.
Principal Duvall: My apologies.
I have a nephew named Anfernee,
and I know how mad he gets
when I call him Anthony.
Almost as mad as I get
when I think about the fact
that my sister named him Anfernee.
Miss Norbury: Well, welcome, Cady.
And thank you, Mr. Duvall.
Principal Duvall: Well, thank you.
And...
...if you need anything or if you
wanna talk to somebody...
Miss Norbury: Thanks.
Maybe some other time,
when my shirt isn’t see-through.
Principal Duvall: OK.
OK. Good day, everybody.
Cady narrating: The first day of school was a blur
A stressful, surreal blur./em
I got in trouble for the
most random things./em
[Shows a montage of things Cady got in trouble for]
Chemistry Teacher: Where are you going?
Cady: Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
Chemistry Teacher: You need the lavatory pass.
Cady: OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?
Chemistry Teacher: Nice try. Have a seat.
Cady narrating: I had never lived in a world
where adults didn’t trust me,/em
where they were always yelling at me./em
English Teacher: Don’t read ahead!
History Teacher: No green pen!
Music Teacher: No food in class!
[SCENE CHANGES TO NORTH SHORE HIGH CAFETERIA]
Random Student speaking offscreen: I told you, I saw the whole thing.
Everything.
Another student speaking offscreen: Did you see something?
Jason: It only counts if you really saw it!
Another random student speaking offscreen: That’s true, dude.
Cady narrating: I had a lot of friends in Africa./em
Offscreen speaking voice from a random student: What?
Cady narrating: But so far, none in Evanston./em
[SCENES CHANGES TO CADY EATING IN THE BATHROOM]
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY RETURNING HOME FROM SCHOOL]
Chip: Hey. How was your first day?
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO SCHOOL]
Damian: Is that your natural hair color?
Cady: Yeah.
Damian: It’s gorgeous.
Cady: Thank you.
Damian: See, this is the color I want.
Janis: This is Damian.
He’s almost too dramatic to function.
Cady: Nice to meet you.
Random student: Nice wig, Janis.
What’s it made of?
Janis: Your mom’s antique rug!
I’m Janis.
Cady: Hi, I’m Cady.
Do you guys know
where Room G14 is?
Damian: Health, Tuesday/Thursday,
Room G14 .
Janis: I think that’s in the back building.
Damian: Yeah, that’s in the back building.
Janis: Yeah, we’ll take you there.
Cady: Thanks.
[SCENE CHANGES TO HALLWAY]
Damian: Watch out, please!
New meat coming through!
[SCENE CHANGES TO THE SCHOOL OUTDOOR SPORTS FIELD]
Damian: “Health. Spanish.
You’re taking 12th-grade calculus?′
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Why?
Cady: Because it’s the same
in every country.
Damian: That’s beautiful. This girl is deep.
Cady: Where’s the back building?
Janis: It burned down in 1987.
Cady: Won’t we get in some
sort of trouble for this?
Janis: Why would we get you into trouble?
We’re your friends.
Cady narrating: I know it’s wrong to skip class,
but Janis said we were friends.
And I was in no position
to pass up friends./em
I guess I’ll never know what I missed
on that first day of health class./em
Coach Carr: Be safe,
because you don’t want to deal with things you’re not ready for.
[Additional Narration by Cady Heron talking about the life of high school in the city/civilization compared to the jungle taken place in the gym, Additional narration begins, narration: 🎤Cady Heron (Narration – Voiceover, while students settle in the gym) CADY (V.O.):
In the jungle, things are simple.
If you’re hungry, you find food. If a lion chases you, you run. If a monkey steals your lunch, well... you let him have it.
But high school in the city?
It’s a whole different kind of wild.
Back in Africa, animals might compete for survival—but no one talks behind your back or writes your name in a burn book.
Here, it’s not about who can climb the tallest tree...
It’s who can dress the best, text the fastest, or make the most people laugh at lunch.
There’s no roar warning you before someone turns on you.
You just... feel it. A cold look. A hallway whisper. A post that disappears too quickly.
Civilization isn’t calmer than the jungle—it’s just quieter.
And when it comes to surviving this place...
well, let’s just say I had a lot to learn.
[End of Narration]]
[SCENE CHANGES TO NORTH SHORE HIGH SCHOOL OUTDOOR SPORTS FIELD]
Janis: Why didn’t they just keep
home-schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you’ll get socialized, all right.
A little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You’re a regulation glamor.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.
Janis: How do you spell your
name again, Cady?
Cady: It’s Cady. C-A-D-Y.
Janis: Yeah, I’m gonna call you Cady.
Damian: In the name of all that is holy, will you
look at Karen Smith’s gym clothes?
Janis: Of course all The Plastics
are in the same gym class.
Cady: Who are The Plastics?
Damian: They’re teen royalty.
If North Shore was emUs Weekly/em,
they would always be on the cover.
Janis: That one there, that’s Karen Smith.
She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet.
Damian sat next to her
in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell “orange”.
Janis: And that little one?
That’s Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She’s totally rich because
her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows
everybody’s business.
She knows everything
about everyone.
Damian: That’s why her hair is so big.
It’s full of secrets.
Janis: And trouble takes a human
form in Regina George.
Don’t be fooled, because she may seem
like your typical selfish, back-stabbing,
troublemaker. But in reality,
she is so much more than that.
Damian: She’s the queen bee.
The star. Those other two
are just her little workers.
Janis: Regina George.
How do I even begin
to explain Regina George?
[SCENE CHANGES TO A MONTAGE OF RANDOM STUDENTS TALKING ABOUT THE CHARACTERISTICS OF REGINA GEORGE TO SHOW HOW POLISHED SHE IS]
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses
and a silver Lexus.
Tim Pak: I hear her hair’s insured
for $10000
Random Student: I hear she does car commercials.
In Japan.
Jock Girl: Her favorite movie is Honey I Shrunk the kids.
Shortest Girl/Giselle Sgro: One time, she met John Stamos
on a plane.
Jessica Lopez: And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time,
she pushed me to the mud in the farm
It was awesome.
[SCENE CHANGES TO HALLWAY]
Damian: She always looks fierce.
She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
Janis: Who cares?
Damian: I care.
Every year, the seniors throw
this dance for the underclassmen
called The Spring Fling.
And whomsoever is elected
Spring Fling King and Queen
automatically becomes head of the
Student Activities Committee.
And since I am an active member
of the Student Activities Committee,
I would say, yeah, I care.
Janis: Damian, you’ve truly
out-shined yourself.
Janis: Here. This map is gonna
be your guide to North Shore.
Now, where you sit in
the cafeteria is crucial
because you got everybody there.
You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys,
preps, JV jocks,
academic all-stars,
the cool crowd,
varsity jocks,
the trendsetters,
the snack lovers,
the diet fanatics,
the try-hards
the chill crew,
the band enthusiasts,
And then there’s us,
the greatest people
you will ever meet
and the worst.
Beware of The Plastics.
Jason: Hey. We’re doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.
Can you answer a few questions?
Cady: OK.
Jason: Are your nails polished?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign
someone to polish your nails?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you?
Jason, why are you such a pest?
Jason: I’m just being friendly.
You were supposed
to call me last night.
Regina: Jason. You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
and then fool around with some poor, innocent
girl right in front of us three days later.
She’s not interested.
Do you wanna to go out with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it’s settled.
Get lost.
Bye, Jason.
Jason: Rude one.
Regina: Wait. Sit down.
Seriously, sit down.
Why don’t I know you?
Cady: I’m new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina: What?
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait. What?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, no.
I know what home-school is.
I’m not dumb.
So you’ve actually never been
to a real school before?
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
Cady: I didn’t say anything.
Regina: Home-schooled.
That’s really interesting.
Cady: Thanks.
Regina: But you’re, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree.
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you’re really pretty.
Cady: Oh, I don’t know...
Regina: Oh, my Gosh, I love your bracelet.
Where did you get it?
Cady: Oh, my mom made it for me.
Regina: It’s adorable.
Gretchen: Oh, it’s so fetch.
Regina: What is “fetch”?
Gretchen: Oh, it’s like , whenever something great happens, it’s our slogan or motto of our clique, the plastics
Karen: So if you’re from Africa...
...why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh, my Gosh, Karen, you can’t just
ask people why they’re white.
Regina: Could you give us some privacy
for, like, one second?
Cady: Yeah, sure.
Janis: What are you doing?
Regina: OK, you should just know
that we don’t do this a lot,
so this is, like, a really huge deal.
Gretchen: We wanna invite you
to have lunch with us
every day for the rest of the week.
Cady: Oh, it’s OK...
Regina: Coolness.
So we’ll see you tomorrow.
Karen: On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
[AT GIRLS BATHROOM]
Janis: Oh, my Gosh!
OK, you have to do it, OK?
And then you have to tell me all
the horrible things that Regina says.
Cady: Regina seems sweet.
Janis: Regina George is not sweet.
She’s a sly old filthy cunning wolf!
She ruined my life!
Damian: She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.
A random girl: Hey, get out of here!
Damian: Oh, my Gosh, Danny DeVito.
I love your work!
Cady: Why do you hate her?
Janis: What do you mean?
Cady: Regina. You seem to really hate her.
Janis: Yes. What’s your question?
Cady: Well, my question is, why?
Damian: Regina started this rumor
that Janis was...
Janis: Damian! Shall we not?
Now, look. This isn’t
about hating her, OK?
I just think that it would be, like,
a fun little experiment
if you were to hang out with them and
then tell us everything that they say.
Cady: What do we even talk about?
Janis: Hair products.
Damian: Ashton Kutcher.
Cady: Is that a band?
Janis: Would you just do it? Please?
Cady: OK, fine.
Do you have anything pink?
Damian: Yes.
Janis: No.
[SCENE CHANGES TO MATH CLASS]
Cady: By eighth period, I was so happy
to get to math class.
I mean, I’m good at math.
I understand math.
Nothing in math class
could mess me up.
Aaron: Hey, do you have a pencil
I can borrow?
Cady narrating: I’ve only had one other
crush in my life./em
His name was Nfume,
[SCENE SHOWS A FLASHBACK OF CADY BACK IN AFRICA MEETING AN AFRICAN BOY BY THE NAME OF NFUME]
and we were 5 .
It didn’t work out.
But this one hit me like a big,
yellow school bus.
Offscreen female voice: Cady, what do you say?
Cady: He was...
So cute.
I mean, A-sub-N equals
N plus one over four.
Miss Norbury: That’s right.
That’s good. Very good.
All right, let’s talk
about your homework.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY RETURNS HOME]
Chip: Hey. How was your second day?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yeah.
[AT CAFETERIA]
Cady narrating: Having lunch with The Plastics
was like leaving the actual world
and entering “Girl World”.
And Girl World had a lot of rules.
Gretchen: You can’t wear a tank top
two days in a row,
and you can only wear your
hair in a ponytail once a week.
So I guess you picked today.
Oh, and we only wear jeans
or track pants on Fridays.
Now, if you break any of these rules,
you can’t sit with us at lunch.
I mean, not just you. Like, any of us.
OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today,
I’d be sitting over there
with the art kids.
Oh, and we always vote before we ask
someone to eat lunch with us
because you have to be considerate
of the rest of the group.
Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt
without asking your friends first
if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn’t?
Gretchen: Right.
Oh, and it’s the same with guys.
Like, you may think you like someone,
but you could be wrong.
Regina: A hundred and twenty calories and
calories from fat. What percent is that?
Gretchen: Forty-eight into 120 ?
Regina: I’m only eating foods with less than
30 percent calories from fat.
It’s 40 percent.
Cady: Well, 48 over 120
equals X over 100
and then you cross-multiply
and get the value of X.
Regina: Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.
Gretchen: So have you seen any guys
that you think are cute yet?
Cady: Well, there’s this guy
in my calculus class...
Karen: Who is it?
Gretchen: It’s a senior?
Cady: His name’s Aaron Samuels.
Karen: No!
Gretchen: Oh, no, you can’t like Aaron Samuels.
That’s Regina’s ex-boyfriend.
Karen: They went out for a year.
Gretchen: Yeah, and then she was devastated
when he broke up
with her last summer.
Karen: I thought she dumped him
for Shane Oman.
Gretchen: OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends
are just off-limits to friends.
I mean, that’s just, like,
the rules of feminism.
Don’t worry. I’ll never tell Regina
what you said.
It’ll be our little secret.
[SCENE CHANGES TO MATH CLASS]
Offscreen voice: We define the sum
of the infinite geometric series...
Cady narrating: Even though I wasn’t
allowed to like Aaron,
I was still allowed to look at him.
And think about him.
And talk to him.
Cady: Hey, Aar...
Kevin G: Hey, you’re the Africa girl, right?
Cady: Yeah.
Kevin G: I’m Kevin Gnapoor,
captain of the North Shore Mathletes.
We participate in math challenges
against other high schools in the state,
and we can get twice as much funding
if we’ve got a girl.
So you should think about joining.
Miss Norbury: Oh, you’d be perfect for it.
Cady: Yeah, definitely.
Kevin G: Great, great.
Let me give you my card.
OK, so think it over.
Because we’d like to get jackets.
Cady: OK.
Aaron: Hey!
Regina: Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.
Cady narrating: Regina’s like the barbie doll
I never had.
I’d never seen anybody
so glamorous.
One of the plastics speaking offscreen: So how do you like North Shore?
[SCENE CHANGES TO MALL]
Cady: It’s good.
I think I’m joining the Mathletes.
Gretchen: No! No, no.
Regina: No, no.
You cannot do that.
That is a social disaster.
Dang, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
Cady narrating: Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of
reminded me of being home in Africa.
By the watering hole.
When the animals go nuts.
Gretchen: Oh, my Gosh, there’s Jason!
Plastics speaking: Where? Oh, there he is.
Gretchen: And he’s with Taylor Wedell.
Karen: I heard they’re going out.
Regina: Wait. Jason’s not going out
with Taylor.
No he can’t just ignore you like that.
He’s such a little pest.
Give me your phone.
Gretchen: You’re not gonna call him, right?
Regina: Do you think I’m an idiot?
Gretchen: No.
[REGINA DOES A PRANK PHONE CALL]
Regina: Wedell on South Boulevard.
Gretchen: Caller ID.
Regina: Not when you connect
from Information.
Taylor’s mom: Hello
Regina: Hello.
May I please speak
to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor’s mom: She’s not home yet. Who’s calling?
Regina: Oh, this is Ms. Susan from
North Shore High
I have her test results for Physics. Unfortunately, she failed. If you can have
her give me a call as soon as she can.
It’s urgent. Thank you.
[END OF PRANK CALL]
Regina: She’s not going out with anyone.
Gretchen: OK, that was so fetch.
Taylor: Mom.
[ARRIVING AT REGINA’S HOUSE]
Cady: Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom’s new tracksuit , but be careful, she’d scream if you mess with it.
Regina: I’m home! Hey, Kylie.
Kylie: Hey.
Regina’s mom June: Hey, hey, hey!
How are my dear little friends?
Gretchen: Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady.
Regina’s mom June: Hello, sweetheart.
Cady: Hi.
Regina’s mom June: Welcome to our home.
Just want you to know, if you need
anything, don’t be shy, OK?
There are no rules in this house.
I’m not like a regular mom.
I’m a cool mom. Right, Regina?
Regina: Please stop talking.
Regina’s mom June: OK.
I will make you girls a special majestic Wednesday treat.
[THE GIRLS ENTER REGINA’S ROOM]
Cady: This is your room?
Regina: It was my parents’ room,
but I made them trade me.
Hey, put on 98.8 ..
Regina: Cady, do you even know
who sings this?
Cady: The Spice Girls?
Regina: I love her.
She’s like a Martian.
Karen: Gosh, my hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh, please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters.
I’ve got man shoulders.
Cady narrating: I used to think there
was just fat and skinny.
Apparently, there’s a lot of things
that can be wrong on your body./em
[THEY TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEMS OF HOW THEY LOOK]
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds feel dreadful.
Cady: I have really bad breath
in the morning.
Regina’s mom June (she enters the room): Hey, you guys.
Fruit Punch Happy hour is from 4:00 to 6:00.
Thanks.
Cady: Is there wine in this?
June: Oh, Gosh, honey, no. What kind
of mother do you think I am?
Do you want a bit? If you’re gonna
drink, I’d rather you do it in the house.
Cady: No, thank you.
Karen: Don’t worry Cady, It’s just, fruit punch.
Regina’s mom June: OK.
So, you guys, what is the 411?
What has everybody been up to?
What is the latest gossip?
Tell me everything.
What are you guys listening to?
What’s the cool jams?
Regina: Mom.
Could you go fix your hair?
Regina’s mom June: OK.
You girls keep me young.
Oh, I love you so much.
Karen: Oh, my Gosh, I remember this.
Regina: I haven’t looked at that in forever.
Gretchen: Come check it out, Cady.
It’s our Burn Book.
See, we cut out girls’ pictures
from the yearbook,
and then we wrote comments.
“Trang Pak is a silly little pest.”
Still true.
Karen: “Dawn Schweitzer inflates and floats like a big giant balloon.”
Regina: Still half true.
Karen: “Amber D’Alessio.”
She got way too friendly with a hot dog.
Gretchen: “Janis the Punk Rebel.”
Karen: Who is that?
Gretchen: I think that’s that kid Damian.
Cady: Yeah. He’s almost too dramatic
to function.
Regina: That’s funny. Put that in there.
Cady: Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK
when Janis said it./em
[FUNNY/COMICAL POTENTIAL DELETED SCENE WHERE THE PLASTICS, CADY, AND REGINA DISCUSS THE IRONY ABOUT THE WORD “DRAMATIC”, FUNNY SCENE BEGINS, FUNNY SCENE:🎬
INT. REGINA’S BEDROOM – DAY
[REGINA LOUNGES ON HER BED, WEARING HER WHITE TANK TOP THAT READS “A LITTLE BIT DRAMATIC.” KAREN IS FLIPPING THROUGH A FASHION MAGAZINE, GRETCHEN IS ADJUSTING HER HAIR IN THE MIRROR, AND CADY IS AWKWARDLY HOLDING THE BURN BOOK.
CADY: “WAIT... ISN’T THAT KIND OF IRONIC?”
KAREN (EARNEST):
“I THOUGHT DAMIAN WAS THE NICE ONE WHO GAVE ME THAT LIP BALM THAT ONE TIME.”
GRETCHEN (TURNS, FROWNING):
“WAIT... REGINA, AREN’T YOU WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS ‘A LITTLE BIT DRAMATIC?’”
REGINA (CASUALLY):
“YEAH, BUT I’M DRAMATIC IN, LIKE, A FABULOUS WAY. DAMIAN’S DRAMATIC IN A THEATER-KID, CRY-OVER-A-BROKEN-NAIL WAY.”
CADY (RAISING AN EYEBROW):
“SO... DRAMATIC IS COOL WHEN YOU DO IT, BUT NOT WHEN HE DOES?”
KAREN (NODDING):
“THAT’S LIKE SAYING CHOCOLATE IS ONLY GOOD IF IT’S PINK.”
GRETCHEN:
“...THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.”
KAREN (SHRUGS):
“I STILL STAND BY IT.”
REGINA (WAVES HER OFF):
“LOOK, THE BURN BOOK IS FOR TRUTHS, NOT... FASHION CRITIQUES.”
CADY (TO HERSELF):
“MORE LIKE... SELECTIVE DRAMA.”
THEY ALL GIGGLE. CUT TO CADY’S THOUGHTFUL EXPRESSION AS SHE STARTS NOTICING THE DOUBLE STANDARDS.]
]
[END OF FUNNY POTENTIAL DELETED SCENE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE IRONY OF BEING DRAMATIC]
[SCENE CHANGES TO MALL WITH JANIS AND CADY]
Cady: And they have this Burn Book
where they write mean things
about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: You’re not in it.
Janis: Those idiots.
[DAMIAN ENTERS IN]
Damian: Will this minimize my pores?
Janis: No. Cady,
you gotta steal that book.
Cady: No way!
Janis: Oh, come on. We could publish it,
and then everybody would see
what a jennet she really is.
Cady: I don’t steal.
Janis: That is for your feet.
Cady, there are two kinds
of evil people.
People who do evil stuff,
and people who see evil stuff
being done and don’t try to stop it.
Damian: Does that mean I’m morally
obligated to burn that lady’s outfit?
Oh, my Gosh, that’s Ms. Norbury.
Janis: I love seeing teachers
outside of school.
It’s like seeing a dog
walk on its hind legs.
Miss Norbury: Hey, guys, what’s up?
I didn’t know you worked here.
Janis: Yeah, moderately priced soaps
are my calling.
Damian: You shopping?
Miss Norbury: No, I’m just here with my boyfriend.
Joking. Sometimes older people
make jokes.
Damian: My grandma takes her wig off
when she’s tired.
Miss Norbury: Your grandma and I have that
in common.
No, actually, I just work a couple nights a week
down at P.J. Calamity’s.
Cady, I hope you do
join Mathletes, you know,
because we start in a couple weeks
and I would love
to have a girl on the team,
just, you know, so the team
could meet a girl.
Cady: I think I’m gonna do it.
Miss Norbury: Great.
Damian: You can’t join Mathletes.
It’s a social disaster.
Miss Norbury: Thanks, Damian.
Well, this has been
sufficiently awkward.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Cady: Bye.
Miss Norbury: Bye.
Janis: Oh, man, that is bleak.
So when are you gonna
see Regina again?
Cady: I can’t spy on her anymore.
It’s weird.
Janis: Come on, she’s never gonna find out.
It’ll be like our little secret.
Cady: Hello?
Regina: I know your secret.
Cady speaking to herself: Oh, Gosh, busted./em
Just start apologizing and crying.
No, play it cool./em
Cady: Secret?
What are you saying about?
Regina: Gretchen told me
that you like Aaron Samuels.
I mean, I don’t care,
do whatever you want.
But let me just tell you something
about Aaron:
All he cares about is school
and his mom and his friends.
- Is that bad?
- But if you like him...
Whatever. I mean, I could talk
to him for you if you want.
Cady: Really? You would do that? I mean,
nothing embarrassing, though, right?
Regina: Oh, no, trust me.
I know exactly how to play it.
But wait. Aren’t you so mad
at Gretchen for telling me?
Cady: No.
Regina: Because if you are,
you can tell me. It was a really
Nasty thing for her to do.
Cady: Yeah, it was pretty nasty,
but I’m not mad.
I mean, I guess she just
likes the attention.
Regina: See, Gretch? I told you
she’s not mad at you.
Gretchen: I can’t believe you think
I like attention!
Regina: OK, love you. See you tomorrow.
[END OF 3 WAY CALL]
Cady narrating: I had survived my first
three-way calling attack.
And with Regina’s blessing, I started
talking to Aaron more and more.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CLASSROOM]
On October 3rd, he asked me
what day it was./em
It’s October 3rd.
Two weeks later, we spoke again.
Aaron: It’s raining.
Cady: Yeah.
Cady narrating: But I wanted things to move faster.
So I followed my instincts.
Cady: Hey, I’m totally lost.
Can you help me?
Cady narrating: But I wasn’t lost./em
Aaron: Yeah.
Cady narrating: I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury
was talking about./em
Aaron: It’s a factorial, so you multiply
each one by N.
Cady narrating: Wrong./em
Cady: Is that the summation?
Aaron: Yeah, they’re the same thing.
Cady narrating: Wrong. He was so wrong./em
Cady: Thanks. I... I get it now.
Miss Norbury: Lights, please.
OK. See you guys tomorrow.
Aaron: We’re having a Halloween party
at my friend Chris’ tonight.
You wanna come?
Cady: Yeah, sure.
Aaron: Great. Here’s where it is.
It’s a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
Cady: OK.
Aaron: That flier admits one person only,
so don’t bring some
other guy with you.
Cady: Okay.
Aaron: See you tonight.
Kevin G: Hey, Africa. You staying
for the Mathletes meeting?
Cady: Yeah, I’ll be right back.
[SCENE SHOWS A MONTAGE OF CADY WHERE IS GOING FROM HALLWAY TO HOME]
Cady narrating: OK, I lied. But I had to go home
and work on my costume./em
In the regular world, Halloween is
when children dress up in costumes/em
and beg for candy.
[SCENE SHOWS THE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES THE PLASTICS WORE]
In Girl World, Halloween
is the one night a year/em
when a girl can dress
However they want and/em
and no one will
Judge them for it./em
The hard-core girls get to wear sleeveless shirts/em
and some form of animal ears./em
Regina’s mom June: Doesn’t she look great, honey?
Gretchen: What are you?
Karen: I’m a mouse.
[CADY ENTERS THE HALLOWEEN PARTY]
Cady narrating: Unfortunately, nobody mentioned there were
....unspoken rules about costumes
So I showed up like this.
RANDOM NOISES OF PEOPLE PARTYING SAYING WORDS:
Hey.
Yes! Yes!
Cady: Hey.
Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It’s Halloween.
Gretchen: Have you seen Jason?
Karen: You know who’s looking fine tonight?
Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: OK, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He’s a good kisser.
Gretchen: He’s your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So you have your cousins
and then you have your first cousins,
then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey.
Karen: That’s not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.
[AARON ENTERS IN]
Aaron: Hey!
Cady: Hey.
Aaron: You made it.
And you are... a zombie bride.
Cady: An “ex-wife”.
Aaron: Love it. Can I get you
something to drink?
Cady: Yeah.
Aaron: Be right back.
Cady: Thanks.
Gretchen: Karen, stop it.
Don’t, Karen...
Karen: Hey, Seth!
Regina: Hey.
Aaron: Oh, no.
Didn’t anybody tell you?and weird, but she’s my friend,
so just promise me
you won’t make fun of her.
Aaron: Of course I’m not gonna
make fun of her.
You were supposed
to wear a costume.
Regina: Cut it out. I need to talk to you.
You know that girl Cady?
Aaron: Yeah, she’s cool.
I invited her tonight.
Regina: Well, be careful because
she has a huge crush on you.
Aaron: Really? How do you know?
Regina: Because she told me.
She tells everybody.
It’s kind of cute, actually.
She’s like a little girl. She, like,
writes all over her notebook,
“Mrs. Aaron Samuels.”
And she made this T-shirt that says
“I heart Aaron”
and she wears it
under all her clothes.
Aaron: Oh, come on.
Regina: Well, who can blame her?
I mean, you’re gorgeous.
And OK, look, I’m not saying
she’s a stalker,
but she saved
this Kleenex you used
and she said she’s gonna do
some weird magic with it
to make you like her.
Aaron: What?
Cady narrating: This was it.
Regina said she would talk
to Aaron for me, and now she was./em
Regina: I know she’s kind of socially dumb
Cady narrating: How could Janis hate Regina?/em
She was such a good.../em
Oh no! I can’t believe this/em
Aaron: What are you doing?
You broke up with me.
Regina: That’s crazy. Why would
I break up with you?
You’re so handsome.
[CADY LEAVES THE HALLOWEEN PARTY]
Shane: That’s a scary mask, bro.
Cady narrating: I had never felt this feeling before.
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
My stomach felt like it was
About to drop.
emI had this lump in my throat like
after you dry-swallow a big pill.
emI hated Regina. I hated her!
Cady: She took him back.
Regina took Aaron back.
Janis: Oh, no, Cady.
Cady: Why would she do that?
Janis: Because she’s a life-ruiner.
She ruins people’s lives.
Damian: When we were she made
people sign this petition
saying that Janis was...
Janis: Damian! Please!
Look, she’s not gonna get away
with this again, OK?
We’re gonna do something.
We are?
[DAMIAN AND JANIS SHOW A CHALKBOARD OF THE PLAN TO GET REVENGE AGAINST REGINA]
Janis: Regina George is basically a witch in disguise.
How do you stop a witch?
You throw a bucket of water
Regina would be nothing without
her picture perfect looks (like weight)
...her cool boyfriend
Flashy fashion sense
...and her group of blindly devoted fans
Now, Cady, if we want this to work,
you are gonna have to keep hanging
out with them like nothing is wrong.
Can you do it?
Cady: I can do it.
Janis: OK, let’s rock this thing.
[SCENE CHANGES TO HALLWAY OF NORTH SHORE HIGH]
Cady narrating: Pretending like nothing was wrong
turned out to be surprisingly easy./em
Gretchen: Regina wanted me to tell you that she
was trying to set you up with Aaron,
but he was just interested
in getting her back.
And that’s not Regina’s fault.
Cady: No, I know.
Gretchen: OK, so you’re not mad at Regina?
Cady: Gosh, no.
Gretchen: Oh, OK, good.
Because Regina wanted me
to give you this.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CAFETERIA]
Regina: It’s called
the South Beach Fat Flush,
and all you drink is
cranberry juice for hours.
Aaron: This isn’t even cranberry juice.
It’s cranberry juice mocktail.
It’s all sugar.
Regina: I wanna lose 3 pounds.
Aaron: You’re crazy.
[CADY AND GRETCHEN ENTER THE SCENE]
Regina: Why do you wear your hair like that?
You hair looks so fabulous pushed back.
Cady, will you please tell him
his hair looks fabulous pushed back.
Cady: Regina was parading Aaron
in front of me on purpose./em
I knew how this would be
settled in the animal world.
[CADY ACTS LIKE A BIG CAT READY TO MAUL REGINA LIKE A BIG CAT]
Cady narrating: But this was Girl World.
Cady: Your hair looks fabulous pushed back.
[SCENE CHANGES TO GIRLS BATHROOM]
Cady narrating: And in Girl World,
all the fighting had to be sneaky./em
Regina: All this cranberry juice
is making me break out.
Cady: Wait. I have this really good
skin stuff I’ll bring you.
Regina: OK.
Cady narrating: We kept our eyes open
for opportunities for sabotage./em
[CADY GETS A FOOT CREAM FROM JANIS AT THE MALL, THEN GIVES IT TO REGINA IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM]
Cady: Regina.
Here you go.
Regina: Thank you.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CAFETERIA]
Regina: Hey.
Aaron: Hey.
Your face smells like peppermint.
[SCENE CHANGES TO HALLWAY]
Janis: This stinks, you guys.
It’s been a month, and all we’ve done
is make Regina’s face smell like a foot.
Damian: I’ve been really busy with choir.
Janis: We gotta catch Gretchen Wieners.
We catch Gretchen,
and then we catch the lock
on Regina’s whole dirty history.
Damian: Say “Catch” again.
Janis: Catch.
All right, let’s reconvene tonight.
Cady: I can’t.
I have to go to Regina’s
to practice for the talent show.
We’re doing a dance to this song...
Janis and Damian (unison): “Jingle Bell Rock.”
Cady: You guys know that song?
Janis: Everybody in the English-speaking
world knows that song.
Damian: They do it every year.
Cady: Well, I have to learn it.
Go.
Hey.
[REGINA ENTERS THE HALLWAY]
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don’t know, I mean, she’s so weird.
She just, came up to me
and started talking to me about catch.
Regina: She’s so ridiculous.
Let me tell you something
about Janis Ian.
We were best friends
in middle school.
I know, right?
It’s kind of funny
to think about now
So in eighth grade, I started
Dating my first boyfriend,
Kyle, he was totally cute,
but then he moved to Indiana.
And Janis got super
Weird about it.
Like, if I hung out with Kyle instead of her,
she’d be like,
“Why didn’t you call me back?”
And I’d be like, “Why are you
so obsessed with me?”
Then, for my birthday party,
which was an all-girls pool party,
I didn’t invite her because
Because, well... I thought she didn’t fit in. She looked weird
So then her mom called my mom
and totally freaked out.
It was so over the top.
Then she kind of disappeared for a while
and,
When she came back
To high school,
She had totally changed
like, new look, new attitude-just totally different.
[A GIRL WITH A SKIRT ENTERS THE HALLWAY]
Regina: Oh my Gosh!
I love your skirt.
Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom’s in the 80 ’s.
Regina: Vintage. So adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: That is the most hideous skirt
I’ve ever seen.
[FLASHBACK FROM EARLIER]
Regina: Oh, my Gosh, I love your bracelet.
Where did you get it?
Cady: So are you gonna send
any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don’t send them,
I just get them.
So you better send me one
Love you.
Cady: I was definitely sending her one./em
I was gonna use three candy canes
to catch Gretchen Wieners.
Three, please.
Teacher: “Why, Man, he doth bestride
the narrow world like a colossus”
might translate into
“Why is he so huge
and obnoxious?”
[SANTA ENTERS IN THE CLASSROOM]
Santa: Candy cane-grams!
- OK, hurry up.
Taylor Zimmerman?
Two for you.
Glenn Cocco?
Four for you, Glenn Cocco.
You go, Glenn Cocco.
And Cady Heron.
Do we have a Cady Heron here?
Cady: It’s Cady.
Santa: Oh, Cady, here you go.
One for you. And none
for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.
Gretchen: Who’s that from?
Cady: “Thanks for being such
a great friend. Love, Regina.”
That’s so sweet.
Woman speaking offscreen: OK, back to Caesar.
Cady narrating: Once Gretchen thought
Regina was mad at her,
the secrets started pouring out.
All I had to do was wait for one
we could use.
[NORTH SHORE HIGH WINTER TALENT SHOW TRANSITIONS FROM SCHOOL ENTRANCE TO AUDITORIUM ]
Thank you.
Principal Duvall: Welcome to the North Shore
High School winter talent show.
Let me hear you make some noise.
All right, settle down.
Our first act calls himself
a star on the rise.
Let’s hear it for Damian.
[DAMIAN
ENTERS IN]
Damian:
Don’t look at me.
[DAMIAN sings]
Everyday is so wonderful[SCENE CHANGES TO BACKSTAGE]
Gretchen: I mean, why would Regina send
you guys candy canes and not me?
Karen: Maybe she forgot about you.
Cady: Yeah, Regina has been acting
kind of weird lately.
I mean, is something bothering her?
Gretchen: Well, I mean, her parents totally
don’t sleep in the same bed anymore,
if that’s what you mean.
Oh, my Gosh.
Don’t tell her I told you that.
[BACK TO DAMIAN SINGING]
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down
Don’t you bring me down today
[BACK TO BACKSTAGE]
Gretchen: I mean, no offense,
but why would she send
you a candy cane?
She doesn’t even
like you that much.
Maybe she feels weird around me
because I’m the only person
that knows about her nose job.
Oh, my Gosh.
Pretend you didn’t hear that.
[KEVIN G RAPS]
Kevin G: Yo, yo, yo
All you fools MCs
Ain’t got nothing on me
From my grades to my rhymes
You can’t touch Kevin G
I’m a Mathlete
So nerd is inferred
but forget what you heard
I’m like James bond the Third
Cool not absurd
I’m Kevin Gnapoor
The G is silent
When I sneak in your door
And hang out with your woman
On the dance floor
I don’t play it like Romeo
You’ll know it was me
because the next time you see her
She’ll be like
Kevin G
Principal Duvall: Thank you, Kevin, that’s enough.
Kevin G: Happy holidays, everybody.
Kevin G (offscreen): K.G. And the Power of Three.
Principal Duvall (offscreen): That was something.
[THE PLASTICS ENTER THE STAGE BUT CURTAINS DIDN’T OPEN YET]
Damian: Does it bother you that they still
use your original choreography?
Janis: Cut it out.
Dang.
What?
Kevin G: I’d rather see you out there
shaking that thing.
Regina: Gretchen, switch sides with Cady.
Gretchen: But I’m always on your left.
Regina: That was when there were three of us,
and now the tallest go in the middle.
Gretchen: But the whole dance
will be backwards.
I’m always on your left.
Regina: And right now you’re getting
on my last nerve. Switch.
Principal Duvall (offscreen): And finally,
please welcome to the stage
Santa’s Helpers doing
“Jingle Bell Rock”.
[THE SONG BEGINS]
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing
And jingle bells ring
Snowing and blowing
Up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime
jingle bell time
Dancing and prancing
In Jingle bell Square/em
emIn the fr.../em
[GRETCHEN KICKS THE RADIO]
Jason?
[EVERYBODY IS SHOCKED AND GASPS]
[1 MOMENT LATER, CADY AND THE PLASTICS START SINGING WITH CADY ]
Cady: What a bright time
It’s the right time/em
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time
Is a swell time
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh
Giddyap jingle horse
Pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and mingle in a jingling beat
That’s the jingle bell
That’s the jingle bell
That’s the jingle bell rock
[EVERYONE CHEERS]
[THE PLASTICS GO TO THE BACKSTAGE]
Karen: That was the best it ever went!
Aaron: That was awesome.
Regina: Lip gloss.
[KEVIN G ENTERS THE BACKSTAGE]
Kevin G: Hey, good job, Africa.
Cady: Thanks.
Karen: Cady’s blushing. Oh, my Gosh.
Gretchen: You totally have a crush on that guy.
Cady: No, I don’t.
Gretchen: That’s why you wanted
to join the Mathletes.
Aaron: Mathletes? You hate math.
Gretchen: Look how red she is.
You love him. And he totally
complimented you.
That is so fetch.
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying
to make “fetch” happen.
It’s not going to happen.
[AT CLASSROOM]
Gretchen: Why should Caesar get to stomp
around like a giant
“while the rest of us try not to get
smushed under his big feet?
“What’s so great about Caesar?
“Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.
“OK, Brutus is just
as smart as Caesar.
“People totally like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar.
“And when did it become
OK for one person
“to be the boss of everybody?
“Because that’s not
what Rome is about!
“We should totally vote for the idea that Caesar should be taken down!”
Cady: Gretchen Wieners had finally reached her limit./em
[TRANSITIONS FROM CLASSROOM TO BATHROOM BY FADING]
Gretchen: OK, if you even knew how mean
she really is.
You know that I’m not allowed
to wear hoop earrings, right?
Yeah. Two years ago, she told me
that hoop earrings were her thing
and that I wasn’t allowed
to wear them anymore.
And then for my Hanukkah,
my parents got me this pair
of really expensive white-gold hoops.
And I had to pretend
like I didn’t even like them,
and it was so sad.
And did you know she hangs out
With Shane Oman every Thursday
Aaron thinks she’s at SAT prep.
But really, she’s sneaking off
To the projection room
above the auditorium,
and I never told anyone,
because...
...I thought being loyal made me a good friend and do you know what is worse, I think Regina wants to be with Shane for her whole life more than Aaron.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO THE CHALKBOARD OF PLANNED REVENGE AGAINST REGINA AND MONTAGES OF NORTH SHORE HIGH FEATURING AARON IN THE GYM]
Cady narrating: Jackpot. Gretchen’s secret
had put the plan back in motion.
After Christmas break,
we tried every Thursday
to help Aaron catch Regina
in the act.
[AARON SEES REGINA HANGING OUT WITH SHANE OMAN IN THE PROJECTION ROOM DISCUSSING INAUDIBLE GOSSIP ABOUT RANDOM HIGH SCHOOL INCLUDING PEOPLE THEY KNOW FROM NORTH SHORE HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA]
Cady: Hey.
Aaron: Hey, what’s up?
[DAMIAN STEALS CADY’S PURSE]
Cady: My purse!
Cady: Looks like he’s headed
for the projection room
above the auditorium!
[AARON AND DAMIAN GO TO THE PROJECTION ROOM AND THEY SAW COACH CARR AND TRANG PAK WERE HANGING OUT DISCUSSING ABOUT INAUDIBLE GOSSIP INCLUDING PEOPLE THEY KNOW FROM NORTH SHORE HIGH AND RANDOM HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA]
Damian: Coach Carr?
Trang Pak?
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CADY, JANIS, AND DAMIAN]
Cady: Guys, why did we think
We could do this? We’re amateurs.
Janis: No, we just have to regroup.
Think outside our box.
Damian: What are Kälteen bars?
Cady: They’re these weird
Swedish nutrition bars.
My mom used to give them to the kids
in Africa to help them gain weight.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CAFETERIA]
Cady: They’re these weird nutrition bars
my mom uses to lose weight.
Regina: Give me it.
It’s all in, like, Swedish or something.
Cady: Yeah, you know, there’s some
weird ingredient in them
that’s not legal in the U.S. Yet.
Regina: Caffeine?
Cady: No.
Regina: Guarana.
Cady: No.
It burns carbs.
It just burns up all your carbs.
Regina: I really wanna lose 3 pounds.
Gretchen: Oh, my Gosh,
what are you talking about?
Karen: You’re so skinny.
Regina: Cut it out.
[THE PLASTICS HELP CADY TO LOOK ELEGANT]
Cady narrating: The weird thing about
hanging out with Regina
was that I could hate her,
and at the same time,/em
emI still wanted her to like me./em
Regina: OK. You have really
good eyebrows.
Cady: Thanks.
Gretchen: Move.
Cady narrating: Same with Gretchen.
The meaner Regina was to her,
the more Gretchen
tried to win Regina back.
She knew it was better to be
in The Plastics, hating life
than to not be in at all.
Because being with The Plastics
was like being famous.
People looked at you all the time,
and everybody
just knew stuff about you./em
Random Girl Student: That new girl
moved here from Africa.
Bethany Byrd: I saw Cady Heron wearing
Army pants and flip-flops,
so I bought Army pants
and flip-flops.
Jason: That Cady girl is fabulous.
She might even be more fabulous
than Regina George.
Principal Duvall: I hear Regina George
is dating Aaron Samuels again.
The two were seen kissing
at Chris Eisel’s Halloween party.
They’ve been inseparable ever since.
[AS THE PLASTICS WALK TOGETHER, CADY FELL INTO A GARBAGE CAN IN THE SCHOOL]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CADY AT JANIS’S WORKPLACE, WHERE CADY IS DOING HER MAKEUP AT A MIRROR]
Cady narrating: I was a woman possessed.
I spent about 80 percent
of my time talking about Regina.
And the other 20 percent
of the time,
I was praying for someone
else to bring her up
so I could talk about her more.
Cady: She’s not even that good-looking
if you really look at her.
Janis: I don’t know.
Now that’s she’s getting pretty big
like a humpback whale ready to chase a little wooden boy.
Cady narrating: I could hear people
getting bored with me./em
But I couldn’t stop. It just kept
coming up like word vomit.
Cady: I have this theory that if you cut all her
hair off, she’d look like a British man.
Janis: Yeah, I know.
You told me that one before.
Hey, I’m having an art show.
So why don’t you take
a night off from your double life.
I want you to see it.
Coolness.
What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a mischievous little rascal who tried to wear ballerina clothes made out of pig fur.
Cady: Thanks.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO MATH CLASS]
Cady narrating: Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse
I could to talk to Aaron./em
Cady: I don’t get this.
Do you get any of this?
Miss Norbury: Nice job, Cady.
Aaron: Kind of seems like you get it.
Cady narrating: If I was gonna keep this going,
I was gonna have to really commit.
Miss Norbury: Not your best.
Kevin G: Dang, Africa, what happened?
Aaron: How’d you do?
Cady: Not so good.
You know, I think I need a tutor.
Aaron: I’ll tutor you, if you ever wanna get
together after school or something.
Cady: Do you think Regina would mind?
Aaron: No. You guys are friends.
Well, maybe we just won’t tell her.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO AARON TUTORING CADY]
Cady: So, what did you get for this one?
Aaron: Well, the first time I did it,
I got a zero.
Cady: Wrong.
Aaron: But then when I checked it, I got...
...one.
Cady: There you go.
I got one too.
Aaron: Yeah, you have to check it
because sometimes the product
of two negative integers
is a positive number.
Cady: Yeah, like negative four
and negative six.
Aaron: That’s right. That’s good.
Cady: Well, you’re a good tutor.
[THEY BRIEFLY KISS IN A INNOCENT WAY]
Aaron: Man, look, I... I can’t do this.
It’s not fair to Regina.
Cady: Why do you like her?
Aaron: Look, I know she can be really
mean sometimes, but...
Cady: Then why do you like her?
Aaron: Why do you?
Look, there’s good and bad
to everybody. Right?
Regina’s just...
She’s just more up-front about it.
Cady narrating: Oh, no. It was coming up.
The word vomit.
I didn’t mean to say it, but
[CADY FINALLY SPEAKS DIRECTLY ON SCREEN]
Cady: She’s breaking up with you.
Aaron: What?
Cady: She’s dating someone else.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BRIEFLY ABOUT PLAN BEING CHECKED/CROSSED OFF FOR CADY SUCCESSFULLY TAKING ONE OF THE THINGS REGINA POSSESSES IS HER BOYFRIEND AARON]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO REGINA’S ROOM CRYING WITH CADY, KAREN, AND GRETCHEN]
Karen: Did he say why?
Regina: Somebody told him
about Shane Oman.
Gretchen: Who?
Regina: He said some guy
on the baseball team.
Baseball team?
I gave him everything.
I was close enough to become queen when I first met him.
Karen: You wanna do something fun?
You wanna go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I can’t go to Taco Bell,
I’m on an all-carb diet.
Gosh, Karen, you are so stupid!
Gretchen: Regina, wait. Talk to me.
Regina: Nobody understands me.
Gretchen: I understand you.
Cady: You’re not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No. I am, actually.
I’m failing almost everything.
Cady: Well, there must be something
you’re good at.
Karen: I can put my whole fist
in my mouth.
Wanna see?
Cady: No. That’s OK.
Anything else?
Karen: I’m kind of psychic.
I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It’s like I have ESPN or something.
My chest can always tell
when it’s gonna rain.
Cady: Really? That’s amazing.
Karen: Well, they can tell when it’s raining.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO SCHOOL]
Cady narrating: I have to admit,
I was mildly horrified/em
when Aaron didn’t immediately
ask me to be his girlfriend./em
I mean, I know he was sad,
but how much time did he need?
Regina had moved on.
[REGINA AND SHANE OMAN ARE IN REGINA’S HOUSE ESPECIALLY IN HER ROOM LAUGHING TOGETHER ABOUT SOME INNOCENT GOSSIP AND FUNNY HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA]
[REGINA’S MOM JUNE ENTERS IN]
Regina’s mom June: Do you kids need anything?
Some snacks?
A juice box?
Let me know.
Oh, love you guys!
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO SCHOOL]
Cady narrating: But overall, the plan
was going pretty well.
Aaron had dumped Regina,
and she was unknowingly eating
5000 calories a day.
It was time to turn our attention
to her group of blindly devoted fans.
[THERE IS A TV FEATURING A STAFF MEMBER MAKING ANNOUNCEMENTS OF WHO WOULD WIN THE SPRING FLING]
Sharon the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:
Regina George.
Gretchen Wieners.
Janis Ian.
Regina: What is happening to the world?
Sharon the Secretary: And the final nominee...
Damian: I couldn’t help myself.
It was so easy.
Sharon the Secretary: is Cady Heron.
Cady: Damian, you put me in there too?
That’s not part of the plan.
Damian: I didn’t put you in there.
Cady: You mean I’m really nominated?
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO THE MALL OF REGINA TRYING OUT A LIGHT PINK SPRING FLING OUTFIT]
Cady narrating: In January, Regina had put
a Spring Fling dress on hold
at a store called 1-3-5
But being Plastic,
she needed our advice
before she could actually buy it.
Regina: Can someone zip me up?
Karen: It won’t close.
Regina: It’s a 5 .
Gretchen: OK, it must be marked wrong.
Regina: Cady, all I’ve been eating are
these Kälteen bars, all they do is make my body inflate like a balloon.
Cady: No, no, this is just how they work.
This is all your water weight.
First you bloat, and then you
drop pounds like that:
Well, the Kälteen bars
have burned up all your carbs,
and now your body’s
just running on water.
But once the water’s gone,
then you’ll be all muscle.
It explains it all on the label.
Regina: You know Swedish?
Cady: Yeah, everyone in Africa
can read Swedish.
Karen: Ma’am, do you have this
in the next size up?
Store Manager/Clerk: Sorry. We only carry
Sizes 1,3, and 5.
You could try Sears.
[REGINA IS SHOCKED]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CHALKBOARD REVENGE AGAINST REGINA PLAN OF ANOTHER THING CHECKED AND CROSSED OFF WHICH IS HER PICTURE PERFECT BODY BEING RUINED]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CLASSROOM]
Miss Norbury: Cady.
I need your parents to sign this
so they know that you’re failing.
Cady: Failing?
Miss Norbury: You know what’s weird
about your quizzes, Cady,
is that all the work is right
and just the answers are wrong.
Cady: Really?
Miss Norbury: Really.
Cady, I know that having a boyfriend
may seem like the most important
thing in the world right now,
but you don’t have to dumb yourself
down to get guys to like you.
Cady: How would you know?
Miss Norbury: I know,
“How would I know”, right?
I’m divorced.
I’m broke from getting divorced.
The only guy that ever calls my house
is Randy from Chase Visa.
And you know why?
Because I’m a pusher.
I push people.
I pushed my husband into law school.
That was a bust.
I pushed myself
into working three jobs.
And now I’m gonna push you
because I know
you’re smarter than this.
Cady: Thanks, Ms. Norbury.
And if there’s anything I can do
for extra credit, please let me know.
Miss Norbury: Oh, I will.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO REGINA’S ROOM WITH THE PLASTICS, REGINA, AND CADY]
Cady: I hate her! I mean, she’s totally
failing me on purpose
because I didn’t join
those stupid Mathletes!
She was so weird
She was like, “I’m a pusher, Cady.
I’m a pusher.”
Regina: What does that even mean?
Gretchen: She was acting like she was doing something she shouldn’t”?
Cady: Probably.
She said she works three jobs.
She’s always whispering on the phone.
What if she’s.......
Bending the rules to make extra money
Gretchen: You let it out, honey.
Put it in the book.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS CADY DOING HER MAKEUP IN CLASS]
Cady narrating: I know it may look
like I was being mean,
and honestly, I was.
I wasn’t being my best self.
Janis: Hey, I called you last night.
How come you didn’t call me back?
Cady: Oh, I got busy. Sorry.
Janis: So you need a ride to my art show
this weekend?
Cady: No. I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
I’m so sorry.
Damian: Well, you wanna
watch a movie tonight?
Can’t. I’m doing major
Cady: Plastic sabotage tonight.
Janis: But we don’t have anything
planned for tonight.
Cady: Oh, I planned this one on my own.
Love you. Bye.
[TRANSITIONS TO CADY, KAREN, GRETCHEN, AND REGINA TALKING TO EACH OTHER ON THE PHONE]
Cady: Gretchen thinks you’re mad at her
because she’s running
for Spring Fling Queen.
Regina: Oh, my Gosh, I’m not mad at her.
I’m worried about her.
I think somebody nominated her
as a joke or something.
And when nobody votes for her,
she’s gonna have a total meltdown.
And who’s gonna have
to take care of her? Me.
Cady: So you don’t think
anyone will vote for her?
Regina: Cady, she’s just...not exactly Spring Fling queen material.
I mean, that sounds bad,
but whatever.
The Spring Fling Queen
is always super stylish.
And the crazy thing is
it should totally be Karen,
but people forget about her
because she’s just not the type of person that anyone would take seriously.
Anyway, I gotta go.
I’m going to bed.
[REGINA ENDS THE CALL SHORTLY]
[CADY CALLS GRETCHEN]
Cady: Well, she’s not mad at you.
Gretchen: Hold on.
Cady: Are you OK?
Karen: Hello?
Gretchen: If someone said something bad
about you, you’d want me
to tell you, right?
Karen: No.
Gretchen: What if it was someone
you thought was your friend?
Karen: What are you...?
Hold on. Other line.
Gretchen: I’m not taking this anymore.
Regina: Good for you, Gretch.
Karen: Hello?
Regina: Let’s go out.
Karen: OK. Hold on. I’m on the other
line with Gretchen.
Regina: Don’t invite Gretchen.
She’s driving me nuts.
Karen: Hold on.
Regina: OK, hurry up.
Karen: It’s Regina.
She wants to hang out with me
tonight, but she told me not to tell you.
Gretchen: Do not hang out with her.
Karen: Why?
Gretchen: You don’t want me to tell you.
Karen: You can tell me. Hold on.
Oh, my Gosh,
she’s so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who’s this?
Gretchen: Gretchen.
Karen: Right. Hold on.
Oh, my Gosh, she’s so annoying.
Regina: I know. Just get rid of her.
Karen: OK. What is it?
Gretchen: Regina says everyone hates you
because you’re such a fool.
Karen: She said that?
Gretchen: You didn’t hear it from me.
Cady: Little rude, Gretch.
Gretchen: Whatever. She has a right to know.
Karen: I can’t go out.
I’m sick.
Regina: Boo You Pipsqueak.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CAFETERIA]
Gretchen: Regina,
we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: Yes.
Gretchen: Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants.
It’s Monday.
Regina: So?
Karen: So that’s against the rules
and you can’t sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
Karen: They were real
that day I wore a vest.
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting.
Gretchen: You can’t sit with us!
Regina: These sweatpants are all
that fits me right now.
Fine.
You can walk home, sassy folks.
[REGINA ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO A STUDENT AND HER SWEATPANTS GOT MESSED UP]
Emma Gerber: Watch where you’re going, Big Old Hippo!
[EVERYONE LAUGHS, THEN SCENE TRANSITIONS INTO THE CHALKBOARD OF REVENGE PLAN AGAINST REGINA WITH THE LAST THING BEING CHECKED AND CROSSED OFF IS HER GROUP OF BLINDLY DEVOTED FANS AND FLASHY FASHION SENSE]
[THEN SCENE TRANSITIONS INTO THE FRONT OF ENTRANCE OF NORTH SHORE HIGH]
Cady narrating: Gretchen and Karen followed me
around all afternoon.
Gretchen: So, what are we doing this weekend?
Karen: Yeah, what are we doing?
Cady: Oh, I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
Gretchen and Karen: What...?
Cady: We have tickets for this thing.
Gretchen: What?
Karen: What?
Cady narrating: Was I the new queen bee?
Cady: I can try and get out of it.
Gretchen and Karen: Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY TALKING TO HER MOM AND DAD IN CADY’S HOUSE]
Cady: Because I told my friend Janis
I’d go to her art show.
Betsy: We’ve had these tickets for months.
You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
Cady: But she’s my friend,
and I made her a promise.
Chip: I think Cady’s old enough
to spend one night on her own.
Cady narrating: I had learned how to control
everyone around me.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CADY TALKING TO AARON IN CLASS]
Cady: Hey. I’m having a small get-together
at my house tomorrow night.
Aaron: Is Regina going?
Cady: No. Do you think I’m an idiot?
No, it’s just gonna be
a few cool people,
and you better be
one of them.
Aaron: Fine, I’ll go.
Cady: Cut it out.
I love that shirt on you.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY SAYING GOODBYE TO HER PARENTS]
Cady narrating: Aaron Samuels was going to be
in my house at my party.
Everything had to be perfect.
[KAREN AND GRETCHEN ARRIVE]
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY’S HOUSE]
Cady narrating: And this time when Aaron saw me,
I wouldn’t be caught
in some ridiculous costume.
Cady: Hey, guys.
Karen and Gretchen: You look awesome!
You look awesome!
Cady: I know, right?
OK, so I got enough cheese
and crackers for eight people.
Do you think that’s enough?
Karen and Gretchen: Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Cady: OK.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO PEOPLE PARTYING IN CADY’S HOUSE LATER]
Cady narrating: It was not enough.
Somehow, the word had gotten out
about my small get-together.
Gretchen: Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.
Karen: He’s just using her
to make you mad.
Cady: Have you guys seen Aaron yet?
Karen: No.
Jason: Dude, put on
“The Ramayana Monkey Chant”.
[CADY OPENS A DOOR OF UNEXPECTED GUESTS THAT SHE IS NOT FAMILIAR]
Cady: Do I know you?
Random Guest (Young Man/Teenage Boy): Hey, what’s up missy?”
[REGINA ARRIVES]
Regina: She thinks she’s gonna have
a party and not invite me?
Who does she think she is?
Shane: You’re right, hon.
Regina: I, like, invented her,
you know what I mean?
[AARON ENTERS THE PARTY]
Gretchen: Jason.
I have to talk to you.
Jason: Whatever.
Gretchen: I love you.
Jason: I know, I know.
[PEOPLE CAUSE CHAOS IN CADY’S PARTY]
Cady: Hey! Put that down!
Did Aaron forgot about me?
Kevin G: What’s up?
Gretchen came to talk to me.
Cady: Oh, no.
Kevin G: Look,
You seem cool,
but I’ve already got my eye on someone else.
Cady: I’m heading to the restroom.
[CADY GOES UPSTAIRS AND SEES RANDOM PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT ROOMS]
[CADY DISCOVERS GRETCHEN & JASON TALKING ABOUT BEING TOGETHER THEN START SAYING STUFF INDICATING THEY HATE EACH OTHER]
Gretchen: I think you’re the best person I want to be with.
Jason: Me too.
[CADY ENTERS IN]
Gretchen: You’re such a fool. Run away & never return.
[CADY GOES TO ANOTHER ROOM SEEING A COUPLE GOSSPING ABOUT LOVE]
Cady: Get out.
[REGINA ENTERS IN THE PARTY BY OPENING CADY’S FRONT DOOR TO ENTER IN WITH SHANE OMAN]
[Scene where Regina confronts Karen and Gretchen about the sabotage Cady is doing behind Regina’s back in which Regina wasn’t even aware of, scene begins,REGINA’S CONFRONTATION WITH KAREN AND GRETCHEN AT CADY’S PARTY SCENE: INT. CADY’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT The party is in full swing. Pop music plays softly in the background. Students laugh and snack on chips. The camera pans to a fuming Regina George as she walks briskly toward Karen and Gretchen, who are sitting on the couch, sipping pink lemonade.
REGINA (arms crossed, glaring): Okay, what is going on?
KAREN (cheerfully oblivious): Um...we’re at a party?
GRETCHEN (flustered): Regina, what’s wrong?
REGINA: What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! I just got dumped by Aaron Samuels out of nowhere! He told me he “needs honesty” and that I’ve “been shady.” What does that even mean?
KAREN: Wait...you and Aaron broke up again?
REGINA: Yes, Karen. Again. And I’ve been trying to figure out why! Then I looked in the mirror and realized—my white tank top has purple holes in it! Purple! Holes! Like somebody took a marker and dot-danced on me!
GRETCHEN (stammering): Maybe it’s a new trend? You...you always start trends...
REGINA: Oh, and let’s not forget the sweatpants disaster. I wore them on Monday. Monday! I had nothing else that fit because I’ve mysteriously gained ten pounds in the past two weeks, and now my entire wardrobe is turning on me!
KAREN (confused): But you’ve been eating those fancy energy bars. You said they were “miracle metabolism boosters.”
REGINA: I thought they were! They were imported from Sweden and everything!
GRETCHEN: Maybe they’re expired?
REGINA (snapping): They better be expired. Or cursed. Or BOTH. Because if those bars had anything to do with this... (Regina trails off, taking a breath. Her voice softens, for once.)
REGINA: I don’t get it. People are acting weird around me. Like...they’re not afraid anymore. Even Jessica C. told me my purse was “kinda last year.” She used to tremble when I looked at her!
KAREN (sincerely): Maybe people just...aren’t scared of you when you’re in sweatpants?
REGINA (squinting): What is that supposed to mean?
GRETCHEN: Okay, Regina, we didn’t do anything! We just came to the party like you told us. You said you were fine with Cady. You called her a Plastic, remember?
REGINA: I thought she was. But now I’m wondering if she’s more than that. I mean, she shows up, hangs out with us, plays dumb in math class, and next thing I know, everything in my life is unraveling.
KAREN: Maybe it’s just...life?
REGINA: No. No, Karen. This isn’t life. This is sabotage. Calculated. Quiet. Sugar-coated. I don’t know how...but someone is pulling strings. And it’s working. (Gretchen and Karen shift uncomfortably.)
REGINA: And you two—you’re just standing there. Aren’t you supposed to be my friends?
GRETCHEN: Of course we are!
REGINA: Then why does it feel like you’re letting me fall?
KAREN: We didn’t know you were falling...
GRETCHEN: Regina, we’re not against you. We just—we don’t know what’s going on. (Regina steps back, genuinely wounded but hiding it under her glare.)
REGINA: No one does. That’s the scariest part. (She turns and storms off toward the hallway, accidentally brushing against Kevin G, who’s balancing a fruit punch in each hand. She doesn’t even notice.)
KAREN (to Gretchen, quietly): Do you think...Cady’s the one doing this?
GRETCHEN (uncertain): I don’t know. But something’s off. Regina’s right about that.✨
Scene Ends With: Regina walking into a dim hallway, wiping something from her eye, unaware that the final betrayal (Cady kissing Aaron) is just moments away.
[End of Scene]]
[AARON ENTERS CADY’S ROOM AND LOOKS AT HER STUFF]
[CADY SEES AARON]
Aaron: Hey.
Cady: Hey.
Aaron: I’ve been looking
for you everywhere.
Cady: Me too.
Aaron: You look...
New clothes?
Cady: Thanks.
Aaron: You wanna go downstairs?
Cady: No, no. Let’s stay here.
Aaron: Thanks for getting me
to come out tonight.
Cady: Yeah, sure, no problem.
Aaron: I wasted too much time
being pissed off at Regina.
No more liars.
Cady: I would never lie to you.
Aaron: I know, I know.
Cady: Although...
OK, listen.
I mean, I did lie to you once,
but you’re totally gonna laugh
when I tell you, so...
Aaron: Tell me what?
Cady: I pretended to be bad at math
so that you’d help me.
But the thing is,
I’m not really bad at math.
I’m actually really good at math.
You’re kind of bad at math.
Anyways, now I’m failing.
Isn’t that funny?
Aaron: Wait. You’re failing on purpose?
That’s stupid.
Cady: No. Not on purpose.
Just, you know...
I just wanted a reason to talk to you.
Aaron: So why didn’t you just talk to me?
Cady: Well, because I couldn’t.
Because of Regina.
Because you were her property...
Aaron: Her property?
Cady: No. Cut it out. Not her property...
Aaron: No, don’t tell me to cut it out.
Cady: I wasn’t...
Aaron: Gosh, you know what?
You are just like a clone of Regina.
Cady: Oh, no, no, listen to me.
You’re not listening to me...
Cady narrating: Oh, no. It was coming up again.
Word vomit.
[REGINA ENTERS CADY’S ROOM]
No, wait a minute.../em
Regina: What is this?!
Cady narrating: Actual vomit.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO OUTSIDE VIEW OF CADY’S HOUSE FOLLOWED BY A TRANSITION OF AARON LEAVING CADY’S HOUSE] /em
Cady: Aaron!
Aaron, wait! Just...
OK. Call me.
[JANIS AND DAMIAN ARRIVE LOOKING DISAPPOINTED AND ANGRY]
Cady: Oh, Gosh.
Janis: You dirty little liar.
Cady: I’m sorry. I can explain.
Janis: Explain how you forgot
to invite us to your party?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car.
I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn’t invite you.
I had to pretend to be Plastic.
Janis: Hey, buddy, you’re not
pretending anymore.
You’re Plastic.
Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.
Damian: Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time?
Did you eat awesome fast food & drink awesome soda?
and listen to awesome music,
and then just sit around and soak up
each other’s awesomeness?
Cady: You’re the one who made me like this
so you could use me
for your eighth-grade revenge.
Janis: Gosh! See, at least me and
Regina George know we’re mean.
You try to act like you’re so innocent.
Like, “Oh, I used to live in Africa
“with all the little birdies
and the little monkeys.”
Cady: You know what? It’s not my fault
That you have a huge fascination with me or something!
Janis: What?!
Damian: Oh, no she did not!
Janis: See? That is the thing
with you Plastics.
You think that everybody
Adores you,
But actually, everybody is sick of you!
Like Aaron Samuels, for example-
He broke up with Regina
and guess what?
He still doesn’t want you!
So why are you still messing
with Regina, Cady? I’ll tell you why.
Because you are a mean girl!
You’re just plain awful!
[JANIS THROWS AN ART AT CADY AFTER FEELING BETRAYED]
Janis: Here. You can have this.
It won a prize.
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back!
I want my pink shirt back!
[CADY LOOKS AT THE ART FEATURING CADY, JANIS, AND DAMIAN]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS INTO REGINA WALKING MAD WITH SHANE OMAN IN THE NIGHT]
Shane: Hon, slow down.
Regina: It’s like I can’t trust anyone anymore.
Shane: Why are you eating a Kälteen bar?
Regina: I’m starving.
Shane: Man, I hate those things.
Coach Carr makes us eat those when
we wanna move up a weight class.
Regina: What?
Shane: They make you gain weight like crazy.
[REGINA SHOCKED AND FUMED LIKE A BULL]
Regina: Mother...
[REGINA SCREAMS LIKE A FINAL GIRL, SCENE TRANSITIONS TO HER ROOM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL FEELING BETRAYED BY CADY SABOTAGING HER TAKING A PHOTO OF REGINA HERSELF PUTTING IT IN THE BURN BOOK FILLED WITH BACKSTABBING INSULTS MAKING HER FEEL LIKE SHE IS THE VICTIM WHEN SHE IS THE INVENTOR OF THE BURN BOOK]
Regina: This girl is despicable, most awful person
I’ve ever met.
Do not trust her. She is just the worst?
[AFTER FEELING BETRAYED BY CADY AND BEING DISILLUSIONED, THE SCENE TRANSITIONS TO PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE WITH REGINA CRYING FRAMING THE SITUATION ABOUT THE BURN BOOK PRETENDING THAT SHE WASN’T EVEN AWARE OF THE BURN BOOK WHEN IRONICALLY SHE INVENTED IT]
Regina: I found it in the girls’ bathroom.
It’s so awful, Mr. Duvall.
Principal Duvall: Is this true?
Trang Pak hung out with Coach Carr?
Good Lord.
What’s that say?
“Kaitlyn Caussin is a...“?
Regina: Fat old hippo
[SHE CRIES AGAIN]
Principal Duvall: OK, calm down, Miss George.
Regina: Why would anybody write that?
That’s just so awful.
Principal Duvall: Don’t worry, we’re gonna
find out who did it.
[REGINA STOPS CRYING]
Regina: There’s only three girls
in the whole school who aren’t in it.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO COACH CARR GIVING A HEALTH LESSON IN THE GYM]
Coach Carr: Listen up, kids.
As you grow up,
You’re going to have feelings.
Big feelings. But if you don’t make smart choices...
Things can get complicated. So just remember
Respect yourself, respect others, and stay focused.
Now go play some dodgeball.
Male Student speaking offscreen: Coach Carr.
Coach Carr: Cady Heron, they wanna see you
in the principal’s office.
All right, precaution. P-R-E...
[CADY GOES TO PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE, PRINCIPAL DUVALL LOOKS DISAPPOINTED AND SO IS REGINA GEORGE WITH A DISAPPOINTED FACE]
Principal Duvall: In here, Miss Heron.
[CADY ENTERS THE OFFICE AND SEES KAREN AND GRETCHEN]
Cady: What’s going on?
Principal Duvall: Have a seat, Miss Heron.
[PRINCIPAL DUVALL SHOWS THE BURN BOOK AND INTERROGATES CADY, KAREN, AND GRETCHEN]
Have you ever seen this before?
Cady: No.
I mean, yes, I’ve seen it before,
but it’s not mine.
Principal Duvall: You better get your story straight,
Miss Heron,
because I’m not messing
around here.
Gretchen: It’s not ours, it’s Regina’s.
Yeah, she’s trying to make it look
like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.
Principal Duvall: Miss Wieners, why would Regina
refer to herself as a “worst despicable, most awful person”?
[KAREN GIVES A SMALL SOFT GIGGLE]
Principal Duvall: Miss Smith, this is no time
to be laughing.
We’re gonna get to the bottom
of this right now.
[SCENE CHANGES TO REGINA AFTER LEAVING PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE THROWS PAGES OF BACKSTABBING BURN INSULTS EVERYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE SCHOOL HALLWAY LEADING TO CHAOS AND LION VS TIGER INSPIRED FIGHT IN THE SCHOOL WHICH DOESN’T HAPPEN INSTANTLY BUT WITHIN A MATTER OF TIME]
[THEN SCENE CHANGES BACK TO PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE WITH GRETCHEN DEFENDING HERSELF FROM GETTING IN TROUBLE]
Gretchen: Maybe we’re not in that book,
because everybody likes us.
And I don’t wanna be punished
for being well-liked.
And I don’t think my father,
the inventor of Toaster Strudel,
would be too pleased
to hear about this.
[SCENE CHANGES WHERE STUDENTS AND STAFF LEAVE THE CLASSROOM AND SAW THE PAGES OF BACKSTABBING BURN BOOK INSULTS REGINA LEFT EARLIER AFTER SHE LEFT PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE]
Amber D’Alessio: “Got too friendly with a hot dog”?
Oh, my Gosh, that was one time!
Dawn Schweitzer: “Dawn Schweitzer inflates and floats like a big giant balloon”?
Who would write that?
Kristin Hadley: Who wouldn’t write that?
Jason: “Trang Pak hung out
with Coach Carr”?
And so did Sun Jin Dinh.
[2 ASIAN FEMALE STUDENTS SAW PAGES OF THE BACKSTABBING BURN BOOK INSULTS REGINA LEFT AND BEGAN FIGHTING LIKE LIONS AND TIGERS]
Sun Jin Dinh: You little fool
Trang Pak: You’re the fool
[ALL STUDENTS BEGAN FIGHTING LIKE LIONS AND TIGERS]
[MISS NORBURY TRIES TO CALM EVERYONE DOWN]
Miss Norbury: Hey! Hey! Settle down!
All right, hey.
No. You do not push and sh...
[MISS NORBURY FALLS WHEN THE STUDENTS WERE FIGHTING]
[MISS NORBURY SAW THE BACKSTABBING BURN BOOK INSULT OF BEING REFERRED AS A “TIRED OLD DRAMA STARTER” MIXED WITH OTHERS]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO PRINCIPAL DUVALL’S OFFICE]
Principal Duvall: Do you have anything else
you wanna say?
Gretchen: No, I can’t answer any
more questions
until I have a parent
or lawyer present.
Principal Duvall: Miss Smith?
Karen: Whoever wrote it probably didn’t
think anyone would ever see it?
Principal Duvall: I hope that nobody else
ever does see it.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO PEOPLE ESPECIALLY STUDENTS FIGHTING LIONS AND TIGERS CHASING EACH OTHER MIXED WITH SLAPSTICK VIOLENCE IN A NON-HURTFUL MANNER AFTER SEEING THE BURN BOOK BACKSTABBING INSULTS WITH REGINA STANDING ON TOP OF THE STAIRCASE OF NORTH SHORE LIKE SHE IS RULING AND BEING ON TOP LIKE SHE OWNS THE SCHOOL LOCATED ON THE TOP OF THE STAIRCASE IN THE CENTER]
Kristin Hadley’s boyfriend: Mom, can you pick me up?
I’m scared.
[JANIS AND DAMIAN PICK UP THE PAGES OF BACKSTABBING BURN BOOK INSULTS]
Damian: “Janis the Punk Rebel”?
Janis: That’s original.
Damian: “Too dramatic to function”?!
Janis: Hey!
That’s only OK when I say it.
Jessica Lopez: Did you write this?
Shortest Girl/Giselle Sgro: No, I swear!
Bethany Byrd: Then you told somebody!
Kristin Hadley: She told!
[SCENE SHOWS 2 FEMALE STUDENTS FIGHTING LIKE A LION AND A TIGER AS IF IT IS A TUG OF WAR]
North Shore High School Female Student 1: You little fool!
North Shore High School Female Student 2: You’re a fool!
[THEN THE START FIGHTING BUT IT IS ALL DONE WITH SLAPSTICK VIOLENCE IN A NON HURTFUL MANNER]
Jason: Yeah! Take your shoes off!
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO DUVALL’S OFFICE]
Principal Duvall: Now, here’s what we’re gonna do...
[ONE FEMALE STAFF MEMBER ENTERS DUVALL’S OFFICE]
Sharon the Secretary: Ron, come quick!
They’ve gone wild.
The girls have gone wild.
[PRINCIPAL DUVALL LEAVES HIS OFFICE TO STOP THE STUDENTS FIGHTING LIKE BULLS, LIONS, AND TIGERS (ALTHOUGH IT IS DONE WITH SLAPSTICK VIOLENCE IN A NON HURTFUL MANNER) BY GETTING A BASEBALL BAT AND EXITS HIS OFFICE]
Cady narrating: It was full-tilt jungle madness.
And it wasn’t going away.
Coach Carr: Hey, I pulled these two off each other.
Principal Duvall: Coach Carr, step away
from the underage girls.
[PRINCIPAL DUVALL OFFERS HELP TO A FEMALE STUDENT WHO IS STUCK PUTTING HER HANDS ON THE CEILING]
Principal Duvall: Let me help you down there.
[BUT HIS ARM GOT KICKED BY THE FEMALE STUDENT WHO HAD HER ARMS STUCK ON THE CEILING]
Principal Duvall: Heck, no! I did not leave
the Southside for this!
[PRINCIPAL DUVALL USES A BAT TO HIT THE GLASS OF THE FIRE EMERGENCY ALARM SWITCH AND IT STARTED RAINING INSIDE THE SCHOOL CAUSING EVERYONE TO SCREAM AND FREAK OUT]
Lea Edwards: Oh, no! My hair!
Principal Duvall: All junior girls report to the gymnasium
immediately! Immediately!
[SCENE CHANGES TO NORTH SHORE HIGH GYM]
Cady narrating: Have you ever walked up to people
and realized they were just
talking about you?
[ALL STUDENTS ARE DISAPPOINTED AND HUMILIATED LOOKING CROSSED]
Cady narrating: Have you ever had it happen
60 times in a row?
I have.
[CADY TAKES A SEAT WITH ALL THE OTHER GIRLS, JANIS AND DAMIAN LOOKED CROSSED TOO ESPECIALLY AT CADY, EVEN TEACHERS ARE DISAPPOINTED AND CROSSED]
Principal Duvall: Never in my 14 years as an educator
have I seen such behavior.
And from young ladies.
I got parents calling me on the phone
asking, “Did someone get injured?”
I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.
All female students in unison: No!
Gretchen: No.
What are we supposed to do?
Principal Duvall: Now, I can tell by the looks on your faces that you’re pretty shaken up.
And honestly get it. But I’m not canceling the rest of the assembly
we already booked the DJ.
and he brought glow sticks.
So let’s all take a breath.
That said—don’t think for one second that what’s in this ‘Burn Book’ isn’t serious.
It’s hurtful. It’s mean. And it has real consequences.
Coach Carr has... taken an unexpected leave of absence.
Miss Norbury’s been unfairly accused of something completely untrue, and it’s caused a lot of stress.
What this grade really needs is a reset—a little kindness refresh.
And guess what? That starts right now.
I don’t care how long it takes—we’ll be here all afternoon if we have to.
You’re not leaving until we talk this through and learn how to treat each other better.
Now, what we’re gonna try to do
is fix the way you young ladies
relate to each other.
OK? Lady to lady.
So who has a lady problem
that they’d like to talk about?
Yes?
Bethany Byrd: Somebody wrote in that book
that I’m making stuff up just
because I use the extra-absorbent kind of medicine...
But I can’t help it if my
Body’s a little different
Principal Duvall: Yeah, I can’t do this.
Ms. Norbury.
You’re a successful, intelligent,
caring, graceful woman.
Miss Norbury: I am?
Principal Duvall: There has to be something
you can say to these young ladies.
Something to help them
with their self-esteem?
Miss Norbury: It’s not a self-esteem problem.
I think they’re all pretty
pleased with themselves.
[SIGHS AND TAKES A DEEP BREATH]
Miss Norbury: OK.
OK. Everybody close your eyes.
I want you to raise your hand
if you have ever had a girl
say something bad
about you behind your back.
[ALL FEMALE STUDENTS RAISE THEIR HANDS]
Miss Norbury: Open your eyes.
Now, close your eyes again.
And this time, I want you to raise
your hand if you have ever
said anything about a friend
behind her back.
[ALL FEMALE STUDENTS RAISE THEIR HANDS AGAIN]
Miss Norbury: Open them.
There’s been some
girl-on-girl crime here.
OK. So, what we could do today
is a couple exercises to help you
express your anger in a healthy way.
Let’s start over here.
Cady narrating: Ms. Norbury had us confront
each other directly
about the things
that were bothering us.
[THE FEMALE STUDENTS ARGUE WITH EACH OTHER]
Cady narrating: And it seemed like every clique
had its own problems.
Kristin Hadley: You’ve been acting really stuck-up
ever since you switched to shortfielder.
And Dawn agrees with me.
Female Jock Student 2: Dawn?
Dawn Schweitzer: Don’t drag me into this,
I’m pitching tomorrow.
Trang Pak: Why are you fooling around with my boyfriend
Sun Jin Dinh: You’re just jealous because guys like me better
Trang Pak: Oh Please. Don’t Even Start with me!
Miss Norbury: OK. Good.
Regina: Can I just say that we don’t have
a clique problem at this school?
And some of us shouldn’t have to take
this workshop, because some of us
are just victims in this situation.
Miss Norbury: That’s probably true.
How many of you
have ever felt personally
victimized by Regina George?
[EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL RAISES THEIR HAND AS THEY ALL COME INTO AN AGREEMENT]
Miss Norbury: Good. OK, who’s next?
Who’s next?
Cady.
Do you have anything
you wanna own up to?
Cady narrating: Yes.
Cady: No.
Miss Norbury: You never made up a rumor
about anybody?
Cady narrating: Just tell that you sell stuff that you’re
Not supposed to sell which is illegal & against the law.
Cady: No.
Miss Norbury: Nothing you want to apologize for?
Cady narrating: I couldn’t apologize to Ms. Norbury
without getting blamed
for the whole burn book.
Cady: No.
Miss Norbury: I’m really disappointed in you, Cady.
OK, so we’re all here
cause of this book, right?
Well, I don’t know
who wrote this book,
but you all have got to stop
calling each other cheaters and fools.
It just makes it OK for guys
to call you cheaters and fools.
Who here has ever been called a fool?
[EVERYONE RAISES THEIR HAND]
OK, everybody up.
[SCENE CHANGES TO EVERYONE WITH NOTES OF APOLOGIES IN THE GYM ALL LINED UP]
Cady narrating: Ms. Norbury had us
write out apologies
to people that we’d hurt in our lives.
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you
names.
It’s not your fault
For being different.
Karen: Gretchen,
I’m sorry I laughed
at you that time you got bathroom emergency
at Barnes and Noble.
And I’m sorry I told everyone about it.
And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
Jessica Lopez: Laura, I don’t hate you
because you’re rude.
You’re rude because I hate you.
Another student in a red shirt: I just wish we could all get along
like we used to in middle school.
I wish that I could bake a cake
made out of rainbows and smiles,
and we’d all eat it and be happy.
Damian: She doesn’t even go here!
Miss Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Red Shirt Student: No. I just have a lot of feelings.
Miss Norbury: OK, go home.
[PRINCIPAL DUVALL ENTERS THE SCENE TALKING TO MISS NORBURY]
Principal Duvall: Sharon, I think you’re doing
a great job.
Miss Norbury: Thanks. I feel like I’m getting through.
Gretchen: I’m sorry that people
are so jealous of me.
But I can’t help it that I’m popular.
Random Student: Oh, my Gosh!
Gretchen: Oh, jeez.
Miss Norbury: OK, walk it off. Walk it off.
Gretchen: OK. That hurt.
Miss Norbury: They’re OK.
They’re OK.
Oh, boy. OK, who’s next?
Who’s next? Keep it going.
[JANIS STEPS IN]
Regina: Oh, my Gosh. It’s her dream come true,
diving into a big pile of girls.
Janis: OK, yeah, I’ve got an apology.
So I have this friend
who is a new student this year.
And I convinced her that it would be
fun to mess up Regina George’s life.
So I had her pretend
to be friends with Regina,
and then she would come
to my house after
and we would just laugh about
all the dumb stuff Regina said.
And we gave her
these candy bar things
that would make her gain weight,
and we turned her best friends
against her.
And then... Oh, yeah, Cady...
You know my friend Cady.
She hung out
with Regina’s boyfriend
and then convinced him
to break up with her.
Oh, Gosh, and we gave you foot cream
instead of face wash.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, Regina.
Really, I don’t know why I did this.
I guess it’s probably because
I totally look up to you! As you have been a sly old cunning wolf who ruined my life!
Take that!
All female students in unison: Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis!
[REGINA LOOKS SHOCKED, HUMILIATED, AND BETRAYED AT CADY THAT SHE LEFT AND RAN AWAY]
[CADY STARTS FOLLOWING REGINA]
Cady: Regina!
[SCENE TRANSITIONS IN FRONT OF THE NORTH SHORE HIGH ENTRANCE]
Cady: Regina, wait! I didn’t mean
for that to happen.
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me?
It doesn’t matter!
Cady: Regina, please! Regina, stop!
[EVERYONE FROM NORTH SHORE HIGH FOLLOWS CADY AND REGINA WITH REGINA YELLING AND ROARING LIKE A BIG CAT]
Regina: No! Do You know
what everyone says about you?
They say you’re a homeschooled jungle girl
who is a less fabulous version of me.
So yeah, so don’t try to act like you’re so innocent.
You can take that fake apology
and show that to your furry little pets.
[A BUS HITS REGINA GEORGE]
[CADY IS SHOCKED]
Cady narrating: And that’s how Regina George got defeated.
No, I’m totally kidding.
But I certainly hope she is okay.
Some girls say they saw her head
go all the way around.
But that’s just a rumor.
Some people swear they saw me
push her in front of the bus.
That was an even worse rumor.
[SCENE CHANGES TO CADY’S HOUSE]
Betsy: Everybody done?
Cady: No. Mom, I didn’t do it.
Betsy: I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Cady: Mom, believe me.
I’m your daughter.
Betsy: Why are my tribal vases
under the sink?
My tribal vases.
Why were they under the sink?
Cady: I don’t know.
Betsy: This is the ceremonial vase
of the Ndebele tribe.
Does that mean anything to you?
Cady: No.
Betsy: Who are you?
Cady: Great. All my friends hate me,
and now my mom hates me.
Chip: Your mom does not hate you.
She’s afraid of you.
I don’t know, maybe we
mainstream-schooled you too soon.
Maybe you should come back and
be home-schooled again for a while.
Cady: No. Only thing worse than
going back will be not going back.
Chip: How bad’s it gonna be tomorrow?
Cady: Remember when we saw those lions
fighting over the wart hog carcass?
I’ll be the wart hog.
Chip: You’re not a wart hog,
you’re a lion.
Just focus on your studies
for a little while.
You’re still an excellent student, right?
Cady: Oh, yeah. I need you to sign
my calculus test.
Chip: Why?
Cady: I’m failing.
Chip: OK. You are...
What do they call it?
Grounded.
You’re grounded.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO SCHOOL, EVERYONE SEES CADY, BUT NOBODY SPEAKS TO HER]
Random Offscreen Female Student 1: She pushed her in front of the bus.
Random Offscreen Female Student 2: Did you see her do it?
Another female student offscreen: Yes.
[CADY EATS LUNCH IN THE BATHROOM, THEN SCENE TRANSITIONS INTO CADY ENTERING THE CLASSROOM]
Principal Duvall: Did your teacher ever try to offer you
Anything inappropriate- like something not meant for students,
Like inappropriate tablets.
Aaron: No.
Kevin G: What are... inappropriate tablets?
Cady: What’s going on?
Where’s Ms. Norbury?
Aaron: Officer,
Ms. Norbury is a responsible and dedicated teacher.
She doesn’t give out anything harmful.
Principal Duvall: I know, Aaron. But after
the allegations against Coach Carr
turned out to be extremely true,
the school board felt that it was best
that we investigate every claim made
in this Burn Book.
Aaron: That book was written
by a bunch of stupid girls
who make up rumors
because they’re bored
with their own lame lives.
Principal Duvall: Well, unless someone wants to come
forward and say, “I made it all up”,
this is how we have to handle it.
To say that someone...
Cady narrating: Oh, no. Bye, Aaron.
You’re gonna hate me forever./em
Cady: Mr. Duvall.
I wrote it.
Principal Duvall: Come on, Cady.
[CADY ENTERS REGINA’S HOUSE]
Cady narrating: When you get bit by a snake,
you’re supposed to take
the poison out.
That’s what I had to do.
Take all the poison out of my life.
I started with Regina,
who was living proof that the more
people are scared of you,
the more flowers you get.
[CADY RINGS THE BELL, ENTERS IN, SEES EVERYONE INCLUDING REGINA WHO IS ON THE BED INJURED SEEING EVERYONE INCLUDING CADY, KAREN, AND GRETCHEN, THEN THEY HEAD TO THE BASEMENT]
[Regina’s tragic backstory reveal with Karen and Gretchen aside, tragic backstory scene begins,TRAGIC BACKSTORY OF REGINA GEORGE:Scene Setup:
THE SETTING IS REGINA GEORGE’S HOUSE, WHERE CADY, KAREN, AND GRETCHEN ARE ALL GATHERED IN THE BASEMENT. IT’S DIMLY LIT AND FILLED WITH BOXES AND OLD FILES — A REFLECTION OF REGINA’S NEGLECTED PAST. CADY, NARRATING IN THE BACKGROUND, WOULD PROVIDE A SUMMARY AND INTERPRETATION OF THE DOCUMENTS THEY’RE LOOKING THROUGH, PAINTING A PICTURE OF REGINA’S DIFFICULT UPBRINGING. THE DOCUMENTS THEMSELVES COULD INCLUDE PHOTOS, LETTERS, AND PERSONAL NOTES, BUT THEY WOULDN’T BE SHOWN IN DETAIL — ONLY THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT OF THEIR CONTENTS WOULD BE CONVEYED.
THE SCENE:
CUT TO THE BASEMENT OF REGINA’S HOUSE. KAREN AND GRETCHEN ARE SEATED AT A TABLE, FLIPPING THROUGH PILES OF DOCUMENTS. THE ATMOSPHERE IS HEAVY, WITH SOFT, MELANCHOLIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND. CADY’S VOICEOVER NARRATION BEGINS, OFFERING A GLIMPSE INTO THE TRUTH BEHIND REGINA’S BEHAVIOR.
CADY (NARRATING):
“I ALWAYS THOUGHT REGINA GEORGE WAS JUST THE GIRL EVERYONE LOVED TO HATE. SHE HAD EVERYTHING — BEAUTY, POPULARITY, THE PERFECT LIFE. BUT WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW WAS THAT BEHIND THOSE PERFECT CURLS AND THAT CONFIDENT SMILE WAS A WORLD OF PAIN. A PAIN SO DEEP, IT SHAPED EVERYTHING SHE BECAME. IT WASN’T JUST THAT SHE WAS MEAN. IT WAS THAT SHE HAD TO BE.”
CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF KAREN LOOKING AT A PIECE OF PAPER, HER FACE CONFUSED, AS GRETCHEN LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER. BOTH SEEM UNSETTLED BY WHAT THEY’RE READING.
CADY (NARRATING):
“REGINA’S MOM, JUNE, BECAME SINGLE WHEN REGINA WAS YOUNG. BUT INSTEAD OF FEELING SAD FOR HER, SHE TURNED ALL OF HER FRUSTRATION AND LONELINESS ONTO REGINA. SHE TREATED REGINA LIKE AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN, AS IF HER DAUGHTER WAS JUST ONE MORE THING TO MANAGE. AS IF REGINA WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE MORE THAN SOMETHING TO FIX HER OWN BROKEN LIFE.”
KAREN LOOKS UP FROM THE PAPER, VISIBLY DISTURBED, AND QUIETLY MUTTERS TO HERSELF.
KAREN: (SOFTLY) “THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. REGINA... I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE HAD EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT.”
CADY (NARRATING):
“JUNE MADE IT CLEAR THAT REGINA WASN’T IMPORTANT, THAT SHE WASN’T REALLY WORTH HER TIME. SHE WOULD IGNORE HER NEEDS, TREAT HER LIKE SHE WAS A PROBLEM. ALL THOSE YEARS OF TRYING TO BE PERFECT... THEY WEREN’T BECAUSE REGINA WAS SPOILED OR PRIVILEGED. IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS DESPERATE FOR APPROVAL, DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO TELL HER SHE MATTERED.”
GRETCHEN’S EXPRESSION SOFTENS AS SHE FLIPS THROUGH ANOTHER DOCUMENT. SHE LOOKS OVER AT KAREN, CLEARLY UPSET BY THE REALIZATION.
GRETCHEN: “NO WONDER SHE’S ALWAYS PUSHING EVERYONE AWAY... I NEVER REALIZED HOW HARD HER LIFE MUST HAVE BEEN. SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANYONE WHO CARED ABOUT HER, DID SHE?”
CADY (NARRATING):
“NO ONE, EXCEPT FOR HERSELF. REGINA BUILT UP WALLS TO PROTECT HERSELF FROM THE CONSTANT HURT. SHE BECAME THE ‘QUEEN BEE’ BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO PROVE SHE WAS WORTH SOMETHING — WORTH BEING NOTICED. BUT IT WASN’T JUST ABOUT BEING THE MOST POPULAR GIRL. IT WAS ABOUT SURVIVAL.”
CUT TO CADY STANDING AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS, LISTENING TO THE CONVERSATION BELOW AS KAREN AND GRETCHEN CONTINUE TO SIFT THROUGH THE DOCUMENTS.
CADY (NARRATING):
“AS I LEARNED MORE, I REALIZED THAT THE REGINA WE KNEW WAS JUST THE SHELL OF SOMEONE WHO HAD BEEN BROKEN DOWN TOO MANY TIMES. THE BULLYING, THE INSULTS, THE MANIPULATION... IT WASN’T JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE IN CONTROL. IT WAS BECAUSE SHE HAD NEVER LEARNED HOW TO TRUST ANYONE. SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE BECAUSE NO ONE EVER SHOWED HER WHAT LOVE REALLY WAS.”
CUT TO A FLASHBACK-STYLE MOMENT, SOFT AND MUTED IN COLOR, SHOWING A YOUNGER REGINA SITTING ALONE IN HER ROOM WHILE JUNE STANDS IN THE BACKGROUND, SPEAKING COLDLY.
JUNE (AS A VOICEOVER, STERNLY): “YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR YOUR DRAMA? YOU’RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. A BURDEN. A MISTAKE.”
REGINA LOOKS CRUSHED, ALONE, AND ISOLATED, WHICH TRANSITIONS BACK TO THE PRESENT.
CADY (NARRATING):
“AND THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME. REGINA WASN’T THE VILLAIN. SHE WAS THE VICTIM OF A WORLD THAT NEVER CARED ABOUT HER. AND I REALIZED... THAT TO BE THE ‘QUEEN,’ YOU DON’T HAVE TO TEAR OTHERS DOWN. MAYBE REGINA HAD LEARNED THE WRONG WAY TO FIT IN... BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS FOREVER.”
CUT BACK TO KAREN AND GRETCHEN, WHO EXCHANGE LOOKS OF SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING AS THEY SIT IN SILENCE, THE WEIGHT OF THE TRUTH SINKING IN.]
(END OF TRAGIC BACKSTORY OF REGINA GEORGE SCENE)
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO SCHOOL IN MATH CLASS]
Cady Narrating: Then there was Ms. Norbury,
who was living proof that no
good deed goes unpunished.
[CADY WALKS UP TO MISS NORBURY]
Miss Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna
buy some stuff that gets you in trouble
Cady: I’m just done with my quiz.
Miss Norbury: Wait. I’ll grade it right now.
I gotta say, watching the police
search my house
really was the cherry on top
of a fantastic year.
How much trouble did you get in
for telling the truth?
Cady: A lot.
Miss Norbury: You didn’t write that whole book
yourself.
Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?
Cady: No, because I’m trying
this new thing
where I don’t talk about people
behind their backs.
Aaron: That’s all right. Getting hit by a bus
is a pretty good lesson to learn from.
Miss Norbury: Ninety-four.
Aaron: Welcome back, nerd.
Cady: Thanks.
Anyway...
...I’m sorry.
Miss Norbury: I forgive you.
But as my own personal
form of punishment,
I figured out how you’re gonna
earn that extra credit.
Kevin G: What’s up?
[A MONTAGE OF EVERYONE GETTING READY FOR THE SPRING FLING, LIKE GETTING DRESSED AND PUTTING ON MAKEUP]
[SCENE SHOWS THAT CADY IS JOINING THE MATHLETES AND ENTERING THE COMPETITION]
Kevin G: Excellent. Great turnout this year.
Miss Norbury: All right. It’s all you.
Kevin G: OK.
Miss Norbury: Make me look good out there.
Kevin G: OK.
Marymount, you rascals!
You no-good rascals.
Miss Norbury: You nervous?
Cady: Yes.
Miss Norbury: Don’t be. You can do this.
There’s nothing to break your focus,
because not one of those
Marymount boys are cute.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Mathlete Competition Host: Welcome to the Illinois High School
Mathletes State Championship.
Let’s start the competition.
Here is the first question.
Twice the larger of two numbers
is three more than five times
the smaller, and the sum
of four times the larger
and three times the smaller is 71 .
What are...?
[BUZZING SOUND]
Mathlete Competition Host: North Shore?
Kevin G: Fourteen and five.
Mathlete Competition Host: That is correct.
Question number two.
Find an odd three-digit number
whose digits add up to 12.
The digits are all different, and the
difference between the first two digits
equals the difference between...
[BUZZING SOUND]
Mathlete Competition Host: Marymount?
Random Marymount Mathlete: 741
Mathlete Competition Host: Correct.
Cady narrating: Shoot. I was really rusty.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS BACK TO CADY’S HOUSE]
Betsy: Where’s Cady?
Chip: She went out.
Betsy: She’s grounded.
Chip: Are they not allowed out
when they’re grounded?
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO SPRING FLING]
Damian: Don’t forget to vote for Spring Fling
King and Queen, people.
These guys will represent you
for a full calendar year.
Random Male Student: I’m gonna vote for Regina George
because she got hit by that bus.
Kristen Hadley’s boyfriend: I’m voting for Cady Heron
because she pushed her.
[SCENE SHOWS REGINA IN HER SLEEVELESS LIGHT PINK SPRING FLING DRESS WITH SHANE OMAN IN HIS TUX GETTING THEIR PICTURES TAKEN LOOKING FABULOUS]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO CADY’S PARENTS BETSY AND CHIP ENTER QUESTIONING EVERYONE iINCLUDING PRINCIPAL DUVALL WHERE CADY IS]
Betsy: She’s supposed to be grounded,
but he let her out.
Mathlete Competition Host: After 87 minutes of very
competitive play, we have a tie.
In the event of a tie, we move
into a sudden-death round.
Each team is given the opportunity
to choose their opponent.
North Shore, who do you select?
Tim Pak: The girl, dude. The girl.
Kevin G: Contestant Krafft.
Mathlete Competition Host: From Marymount,
Miss Caroline Krafft.
Marymount Mathlete Male Student: We pick the girl too.
Mathlete Competition Host: And from North Shore,
Miss Cady Heron.
Cady: It’s Cady.
Oh, my Gosh, that’s me.
[CADY WALKS UP TO THE MICROPHONE]
Cady narrating: Miss Caroline Krafft seriously
needed to pluck her eyebrows.
Her outfit looked like it was picked out
by a blind Sunday school teacher.
And she was wearing some 99 cent
lip gloss on her crooked smile.
And that’s when I realized,
making fun of Caroline Krafft
wouldn’t stop her
from beating me in this contest.
Mathlete Competition Host: Contestants,
find the limit of this equation.
Cady narrating: Calling somebody else fat
won’t make you any skinnier.
Calling someone stupid
doesn’t make you any smarter.
And ruining Regina George’s life
definitely didn’t make me any happier.
All you can do in life is try to solve
the problem in front of you.
[BUZZING SOUND]
Caroline Kraft: The limit is negative one.
Cady narrating: Oh, no. I lost./em
Mathlete Competition Host: That answer is incorrect.
Now, we are in a sudden death.
If Miss Heron can answer
this problem correctly,
we have a winner.
Cady narrating: Limits. Why couldn’t I remember
anything about limits?
Limits.
[SCENE FADES TO FLASHBACK DEPICTING AARON’S HAIRCUT]
That was the week
Aaron got his hair cut.
Oh, Gosh, he looked so cute.
OK, focus, Cady.
emWhat was on the board
behind Aaron’s head?
If the limit never approaches
anything.
The limit does not exist.
Cady: The limit does not exist!
Mathlete Competition Host: Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.
[EVERYONE CHEERS AND GIVES A ROUND OF APPLAUSE]
Kevin G: Yeah!
How do you like me now?
[KEVIN G JUMPS BUT DOESN’T RIP HIS SHIRT]
You like that? Yeah!
Get some! Get some!
Tim Pak: Awesome. You went
with the leather sleeves.
Kevin G: Africa, you did the dang thing.
Cady: Thanks.
Miss Norbury: Thanks, K.G.
Kevin G: We’re gonna look so awesome
in these when we roll into Spring Fling.
Cady: Oh, no, I’m not going.
Tim Pak: What?
Kevin G: Cady, this is your night.
Don’t let the haters
Keep you from shining.
Cady: Did you just say “shining”?
Miss Norbury: Cady, you don’t have to punish
yourself forever.
Cady: But I’m grounded.
Miss Norbury: You’re already out.
[CADY, KEVIN G, AND THE MATHLETES ENTER THE SPRING FLING]
Principal Duvall: All right, do we have all
of our nominees
for king and queen on the stage?
OK, good. I just wanted to say
that you’re all winners.
And I could not be happier
that this school year’s ending.
Here we go.
[CADY ENTERS IN]
Principal Duvall: The winner
of the Spring Fling King,
Shane Oman.
Shane Oman: Yes!
That’s what I’m talking about!
[REGINA LOOKING ANNOYED BY THE ENVIRONMENT OF THE SPRING FLING]
Principal Duvall: And your Spring Fling Queen,
future co-chair
of the Student Activities Board
and winner of two gift certificates
to the Walker Brothers
Pancake House,
Cady Heron.
Where is Cady?
There she is.
[CADY NERVOUSLY ENTERS THE STAGE AND GETS THE CROWN FROM PRINCIPAL DUVALL]
Cady: Thanks.
Well, half the people in this room
are mad at me.
And the other half only like me
because they think I pushed
somebody in front of a bus.
So that’s not good.
Principal Duvall: You know, it’s not really required
of you to make a speech.
Cady: I’m almost done, I swear.
To all the people whose feelings
that got hurt by the Burn Book,
I’m really sorry.
You know, I’ve never been
to one of these things before.
And when I think about
how many people wanted this
and how many people
cried over it and stuff...
I mean, I think everybody
looks like royalty tonight.
Look at Jessica Lopez.
That dress is amazing.
And Emma Gerber, I mean,
that hairdo must have taken hours,
and you look really pretty.
So...
...why is everybody stressing
over this thing?
I mean, it’s just plastic.
Could really just...
Share it.
A piece for Gretchen Wieners,
a partial Spring Fling Queen.
A piece for Janis Ian.
Principal Duvall: Seriously, most people
just take the crown and go.
Cady: And a piece for Regina George.
She fractured her spine,
and she still looks like a rock star.
Regina: Thank you.
Cady: And some for everybody else.
[CADY THROWS EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF THE BROKEN CROWN SHARING IT TO EVERYONE]
Cady: Gosh, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up?
Principal Duvall: Thanks.
All right, have a good time, everyone.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO JANIS AND DAMIAN DANCING]
Janis: Look. I’m a queen.
Damian: As am I.
Cady: Hey.
Janis: Hey.
Cady: So are we still in a fight?
Janis: Are you still a jennet?
Cady: I don’t think so.
Janis: Well, then I guess we’re OK.
Damian: Oh, my Gosh, I love this song!
Janis: I hate this song.
Cady: I know this song!
Damian: Man candy, stage right.
[CADY SEES AARON]
Cady: Hey, what’s up?
Aaron: Hey. Didn’t think you’d make it.
On behalf of the senior class, I’d like to
present you with two gift certificates...
Janis: Thanks Aaron.
Damian: Yo, peace.
Aaron: One gift certificate to
the Walker Brothers Pancake House.
Cady: Thank you.
Aaron: Congratulations on winning State.
Cady: I was so nervous.
They made us do limits.
I thought I was gonna hurl.
Aaron: How’s your stomach now?
Cady: It’s fine.
Aaron: Do you feel nauseous at all?
Cady: No.
Aaron: Have you been drinking?
Cady: No.
Aaron: OK.
Cool.
[AARON AND CADY KISS WITH EVERYONE DANCING AND KISSING]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO JANIS AND DAMIAN ABOUT KISS BUT IN UNISON, THEY TOGETHER SAID]
Janis and Damian: No.
[DAMIAN LEAVES, KEVIN G SHOWS UP]
Kevin G: What’s up?
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin G: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin G: I feel that.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO EVERYONE DANCING]
Cady narrating: In case you’re wondering,
The Plastics broke up.
Regina’s spine healed,
and her physical therapist
[SCENE TRANSITIONS SHOWING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PLASTICS AFTER THEY BROKE UP]
[SCENE TRANSITIONS REGINA IN THE SPORTS FIELD IN A LACROSSE LIONS SPORTS CLUB]
Cady narrating: taught her to channel
all her rage into sports.
It was perfect because
the jock girls weren’t afraid of her.
Karen used her special talents to do
the morning weather announcements.
[SCENE CHANGES TO KAREN MAKING WEATHER ANNOUNCEMENTS]
Karen: Hi. This is Karen Smith.
It’s 68 degrees,
and there’s a 30 percent chance
that it’s already raining.
Cady narrating: And Gretchen found herself
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO NORTH SHORE HIGH CAFETERIA WHERE IS GRETCHEN HAS STRAIGHT HAIR AND IS WITH THE COOL ASIANS]
Cady narrating: a new clique
and a new queen bee to serve.
[SCENE TRANSITIONS TO NORTH SHORE HIGH SCHOOL ENTRANCE]
Cady narrating: Aaron went to Northwestern,
so I still get to see him on weekends.
And me?
I had gone from home-schooled
jungle girl to solid Plastic
to most hated person in the world
to partial spring fling queen to actual human being.
[CADY TOOK A SEAT ON THE GRASS]
Cady: Hey.
Cady narrating: All the drama from last year
just wasn’t important anymore.
School used to be like a shark tank,
but now I could just float.
Karen: Regina.
Cady narrating: Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady narrating: And if any freshmen
tried to disturb that peace.
Well, let’s just say we knew
how to take care of it.
[A BUS HITS THE JUNIOR PLASTICS]
[CADY LOOKS SHOCKED BUT ACTUALLY IT ALL TURNS OUT THAT IS JUST CADY’S HALLUCINATION AND DISTORTION AS THE JUNIOR PLASTICS DIDN’T GET HIT BY A BUS AND SURVIVED]
Cady narrating: Just kidding.
[CADY SMILES WITHOUT HER MOUTH OPEN AND LOOK TOWARDS THE CAMERA]
[END]
[END CREDITS]
NOTE: In this version of Mean Girls, any signs of cleavage or underwear from all characters has been eliminated, any type of breast/tits showing including bellybuttons has been covered, when Regina was embarrassing Cady about her love for Aaron, during the scene when Cady was acting like a big cat mauling Regina, she didn’t maul Regina, she didn’t get hurt, it was all slapstick comedy like The 3 stooges by the names of Moe, Larry, & Curly, all of the copyrighted VHS Tapes have been removed during the scene when Janis & Damian were watching a scary movie, the scary movie Janis & Damian were watching on Halloween Day which is Friday the Thirteenth, has been replaced by a Halloween music video which the song is Grim Grinning Ghosts, Regina’s purple cut out holes on her white tank top has been replaced by purple sea shell bikini top cutouts, Janis Ian’s middle finger has been replaced by a thumbs down, June/Regina’s Chihuaha doesn’t bite or chew June’s Pink Velour sweater in the boobs area, the scene where Regina tries the sleeveless light pink Spring Fling dress while Cady, Karen, Gretchen were there at the mall seeing it with the Asian woman saying “TrySEARS" the reveal of Regina’s bra being shown in the Backview has been toned down, all kissing scenes have been moderately toned down leaving the only scenes that feature kissing are Aaron & Regina and Aaron & Cady, any signs of nudity are toned down keeping only the tank tops/sleeveless shirts, shorts, & miniskirts, all sleeveless prom dresses and miniskirts including the ones in Jingle Bell Rock have been extended to the knees, the scene where Miss Norbury’s bra has been shown when Cady accidentally spilled coffee in the beginning of the film has been adjusted to show only the tank top behind the sweater but no indication of bra, the scene when Gretchen Wieners was announced as one of the candidates for the Spring Fling in the background of the classroom where there is a poster saying “and old lace” with the picture of the liquor bottles, the liquor bottles have been removed from picture of the poster that says “and Old Lace”, all scenes that have anything to do with sex via writing on the chalkboard in Coach Carr’s class has been removed from the chalkboard, any gay/same sex kissing including gay/same sex kissing in Halloween party scenes have been removed, the black skirt of Karen Smith’s mouse costume has been extended to her knees, the red shirt where Gretchen’s T-shirt says “Royal Punk” gets replaced with “Royal Dunk”, the pink tank top Cady wore which had the word “Rebel” on the shirt, the word “rebel” is removed from the pink tank top, all scenes that contain violence, have been toned down, redone in either comical/slapstick manner, and simply removed, some drinking scenes during the Halloween party has been slightly-moderately toned down, all alcoholic beverages have been replaced by fruit punches/non alcoholic beverages/soda/juice/water whether it’s the Halloween Party, Party at Cady’s house, or anywhere else throughout the film, Any scenes involving Regina’s Younger sister Kylie watching beach infomercial on TV & whatever is on TV within the movie itself gets replaced with scenes from The Wiggles (dancing to Hot Potato, Fruit Salad, Do The Monkey) on TV within the movie itself, none of the characters including Cady look drunk & none of the characters including Cady are drunk, none of the characters including Cady are on drugs, All Regina and Shane Oman sex scenes with less clothing have been replaced with them with more clothes talking about school, friends, community, & their gossip, all scenes that contain anything sexual between Trang Pak/Sun Jin Dinh & Coach Carr in the projector room above the auditorium has been replaced with them only sitting on chairs talking to each other having a normal conversation in the projector room above the auditorium, all party scenes at Cady’s house especially drinking scenes have been toned down & replaced with scenes of Regina questioning Karen and Gretchen, why she has been gaining weight after eating Kalteen Bars, (oblivious that Kalteen Bars are the culprit of her weight gain until Shane Oman tells her), why she wore sweatpants on the wrong day & her sweat pants got messed up, why Aaron broke up with Regina, and questioning why she has been losing her loyal followers, the Halloween costume Regina George wore on Halloween particularly the black panty gets replaced & extended with a black knee length skirt, Janis Ian’s Purple Prom Tux (even though Janis Ian is a girl) and braided hair gets replaced by a black hairbun which is her regular hairstyle, black sleeveless gown, skull necklace, & gothic earrings, the scene when Cady vomited has been replaced with a scene of Cady’s house while she was vomiting, during the Glen Coco scene that featured the chalkboard that had “To thy sex captive but that this brd” written in the chalkboard has been erased along with others that has written in the same side of that quote, the catchphrase “shut up” has been replaced with “cut it out” throughout the entire film, Coach Carr’s infamous sex speech has been replaced with a simplified general warning about doing dangerous stuff that have consequences speech followed by additional narration by Cady Heron talking about the life of high school in the city/civilization compared to the jungle taken place in the gym, Regina George’s high pitched screaming vocals had been redubbed by Tara Strong in a smooth manner, some of the intensity of the vocal performances of the scenes have been adjusted to keep it smooth without taking away the authenticity of the original, there is a deleted scene presented where Cady, Karen, Gretchen, & Regina talk about the irony of the word “dramatic” in Regina’s room at her house, there is also additionally a scene revealing that Regina has a dark tragic backstory revealing why she is the 2 faced backstabbing manipulating queen bee/bully/monster, after Regina got hit by a bus, when Cady visited Regina, Karen and Gretchen were there, they went downstairs to the basement, they looked at documents, the text of the documents are not directly shown, they are blank documents but according to Cady’s inner thoughts, narration, and a short flashback, Regina’s mom June pretends to be a cool mom in public but in private, she doesn’t truly love Regina, she treats Regina like an accident/mistake unless Regina is a useful asset to use her beauty to exploit it for profit.
