Prologue
You will never know this — the world will fade into dust someday, everything will become meaningless — but somewhere in the air of this universe, a little dust will still remember a girl who loved you with everything she had and never expected anything in return.
I don’t know what this feeling is supposed to be called.
But it hurts… sometimes more than I ever thought it could.
And I know I’ll never tell you.
I just hope you stay happy, always.
All the happiness in my heart somehow belongs to you. Only you.
Yesterday, when we met after so long, you asked me,
“Hey, bhalo achis?”
And if I told you the truth… could you even handle it?
No — you wouldn’t want to hear it.
So I smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m good.”
And you walked past me like it was nothing.
Later, after dinner, you went through the corridor to wash your hands.
I was standing there — waiting, just in time, just for you.
And you talked to me for a few seconds.
A few seconds for you…
but for me, it was everything.
You have no idea how long I waited just to see you.
It’s stupid, right?
Childish, maybe.
But the heart doesn’t listen.
It only beats for you.
Only hears you.
Only searches for you.
I don’t know how long this will go on.
I don’t know how to explain things to my stubborn heart.
It’s been nine years now, and I just turned twenty-one.
Maybe ten years later, you’ll be married.
You’ll be happy.
And maybe I will too… or maybe not.
Because I don’t think my heart will ever listen to me.
I don’t think I’ll ever love someone else.
It feels impossible.
But I’ll still be happy… if you’re happy.
You were never mine to keep — only mine to cherish.
And I did that with my whole heart.
You. Just you.
