Untitled chapter
PROLOG
“I want her soul,” A voice hissed in the darkness.
“You’ll get it. I want to corrupt her as much as you do,” A voice answered.
“She will be a prize to add to my collection.”
“That she will be.”
“He thinks he is so smart. Even his own are mine eventually. “
“Minus the few hundred that cling to him per day.”
“SILINCE! You MORON. All those are mine! MINE I TELL YOU!” The ground shakes.
“Sorry…sorry master. Forgive me.”
“I do not forgive. And those who are mine do not repent.”
“Right, I am sorry I forgot.”
“There you go again. Sorry this and sorry that! Suck it up MORON and get back to work. I want her soul or your death.”
“Right... ummm sorry I will go now.”
“Oh shut up! Remember play dumb. You are like her. Make her feel sorry for you.”
“Right. I will do my best.”
“Just go!”
CHAPTER 1
I am a fallen angels. An angel with a curse. My wings are broken. My mind is bruised. People call me mad. I am a danger to people. They run from me.
This world is fallen. I belong here. Why can’t they see it? The buildings are falling. The ground is shaking. The fires of hell are rising. All around death controls everything. People drop to the ground. Plants wither. Life is dying.
I hide. In a pile of rubble is where I live. With people like myself, why would there anything else? At least that’s what they say. I am alone. But I talk to myself according to people. To me, it is my best friend. Her name is Benakuri. I no longer have a name. My real name was taken. Taken when I was banished,along with my wings. Benakuri no longer has wings either.
Benakuri whimpers one night.
“What darling?” I say.
“It hurts! It’s burning!”
I touch where my wings should have been. I quickly withdrew my hand. “I know mine burns too.”
Benakuri whimpers again. I reach out and touch her arm. “Shhhh darling. I will fix it.” I close my eyes. My mind freezes over. I hear Benakuri sigh. I open my eyes. Her wing stubs are frozen over so are mine. I let out a scream of pain. Deep inside me something is burning. The pain is intense. Then it stops.
“Your soul. The more you use your power the more soul you lose. You are going into one of your fits!” She screams.
It’s too late. My head is thrown back, I scream in pain. My body is thrown to the ground. I let out a moan. I am picked back up and thrown on my back. “I am sorry!” I scream. “I am SORRY!” My head is thrust back. I can’t breathe. I stop fighting it. It leaves. The demon leaves.
CHAPTER 2
Benakuri gets hungry fast. Finding food is dangerous. Very dangerous. It’s each person or angel in this case for itself. There are those in street hiding behind kind faces waiting to kill the first person they can. For meat. People are hungry. Nobody comes near me though. My face glows with hate. Horns are starting to sprout on my head. I am becoming like the one who possesses me. I wait in the shadows. A child no older than ten passes by. I close my eyes. Benakuri is hungry. I am to.
“Kill it,” she whispers in my ear.
“Benakuri, will it be enough for both of us?”
“Yes, yes. Kill it.”
I jump out of the shadows and grab the child by the neck. It didn’t even scream as I sank my teeth into its neck. It went limp. I dragged it back to my “home”. I dug my hand into it. Its heart came out easily. I devoured it and left the soul for Benakuri. We were satisfied.
CHAPTER 3
“I made her kill.”
“Yessss that is a great sin,” A voice hissed.
“That alone should condemn her.”
“NO, MORON! She can still be saved if she repents that sin.”
“I thought you said yours do not repent.”
“And you think that after all you’ve done she is finally mine?”
“Why wouldn’t she be?”
“You are so immature. Go back and make her afraid for her life. Remember she thinks you are her friend…Benakuri don’t fail me.”
CHAPTER 4
The sky was turning dark. Eerily red, orange, and black mixed together in the sky making people’s blood run cold.
“How long?” Benakuri asked trembling.
“Not long. Not long.” I knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth. Not long until hell took over everything. Not long until a demon possessed my soul. My heart. My body. I left our shelter to hunt food. Mainly just to clear my head. Everything is miserable. The old brown brick buildings are crumbling. There is dust everywhere. The old fountain is still. Not one drop of water. My black rags fit right in. I walk to the fountain. It reminds me of myself. Old, broken, and forgotten. I reach my hand out and touch it. I feel water. I quickly pull my hand back. It’s wet. There was no water in the fountain. I put my hand in it again; water. I step into the fountain. I am drenched by water. I look around. There are no longer crumbling buildings. I am in a gold room with what looks like a glass floor. I am standing in a gold fountain.
CHAPTER 5
I step out of the fountain drenched. There is so much light. A bright white light. It drives me to my knees.
“Benakuri! Benakuri help me!” I scream. The light blinds me. I cannot see.
“Benakuri does not exist here my child. It’s just you.” It was a man’s voice. The light stops. I look up. My vision is hazy but I can see Him. He has long brown hair at least to his shoulders. His eyes, they are kind. No, no nothing is kind. I force myself to see Him frowning.
“Freeze him,” a voice whispers in my ear. I can hear Benakuri’s voice. I close my eyes. My mind freezes over. I open them. The man is not frozen.
“In this land I control your power,” He says gently. “But you are safe here.” He laid his hand on my shoulder and brushed it down over my wing stub. It was cool and gentle. No it burned! It must burn. I scream in pain for it did. I push His hand off my back. I tried to freeze Him again. It didn’t work. I can feel the burning starting within.
“Let me help,” the man stretched out his hand towards me. I hit it away.
“No! I can fight this!”
“Can you?” The man gave me a queer smile.
“No,” I whisper. Then the fit came on. Again I was thrown to the floor. I started crying. Crying because it hurt; and because He was watching me. I was embarrassed. I don’t know why. There was something about Him.
For a moment the fit stopped. I looked up bloody and bruised. Our eyes meet. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t look at Him anymore. One final slam to the ground and the fit is over. I limp to the fountain and without even facing Him again, step in and back to the fallen world. Little did I know that if I had turned, there would have been an outstretched hand, and eyes full of love and concern.
CHAPTER 6
“BENAKURI! WHAT HAPPENED?” A voice roared in the darkness.
“The fountain, the light, how was I supposed to know he would make a move like that?” Benakuri wailed.
“That is why I put you there?”
“Well that wasn’t my fault.”
“No, of course it wasn’t. UGH! You just can’t get anything right can you?” The ground burst into flame. Smoke rose making everything cloudy.
“I do try.”
“SILENCE! You disgust me. She has now had doubt towards us planted in her. Use that against her. Make her think he is out to get her. To hurt her.” The voice laughed evilly.
“Yes, master.” Benakuri meekly bowed and turned to leave.
“Wait...”
“Yes.” Benakuri turned around.
“Come near.”
Benakuri approached. A hand flaming red reached out and brushed against her cheek. Benakuri closed her eyes.
“You know the place of mistress is vacant.”
Benakuri knew all too well why it was vacant. He had executed the last demon filling that place. The hand drew her closer.
“You could fill that place. We could share her soul. Would you like that?”
“Yes, master. I would.”
“So be it. You bring me her soul and then you become queen of HELL!” The voice cackled.
Benakuri smiled.
CHAPTER 7
I limped back to the rubble pile. My head hurts, my limbs hurt, and my heart hurts. The Man’s gaze is fixed in my head. “He understood?” I asked out loud.
“No! Of course not. I am the only one who does.” Benakuri sat down next to me.
“But he wanted to help me.”
“Did he? Did he really? I suppose touching your wing stub was to help you? Right?”
“He did it to be kind. I mean He meant well.” I stopped. Why was I defending Him?
“Because his gaze is toxic.”
“But still Benakuri, I think He…He wants to help.
“Watch him throw you into hell!” hissed Benakuri.
I duck my head and lay down. I can feel His hand on my shoulder and brushing down my back. It felt good. He was the only one who had touched me in years. Why? Why would He touch me? I am cursed.
CHAPTER 8
I was an Arch Angel. But I was afraid. Something an angel should never be. I was drawn to darkness. All the angels said I was a mistake. The King of kings made a mistake when he made me. No, it wasn’t possible. He didn’t make mistakes. So He wanted me to be evil then?
I sat in the darkness one day pondering this. Below me I could see the red glow of hell. I leaned forward. I slipped. I cry out. I am falling down towards the red glow. Then I see Him. The Most High. He reaches His hand out. Instead of grabbing it I wrap my arms around myself. I am afraid. I can feel hell getting hotter as I fall. It burns my back. I lose sight of the Most High. The red flames burn my hair. My wings are flaming as well. I hit a stone floor. Around me demons are screaming. I look up the king of evil is standing in front of me.
“Well my fallen angel. Welcome to HELL,” he croaks.
I back away from him.
“You’re afraid! Good!” You belong here. I shall enjoy your soul immensely.” He pulled out a whip made of fire. I scream as his arm goes back and then brings the whip forward across my back. I turn to avoid being hit in the face. The whip came down on my back below my wings. I fall on my face. I feel something grab my wings. In one quick burning slice. They’re gone. Cut, broken, sliced, gone. My wings are gone. I let out a sob. He starts slashing my back with his whip. I see a demon approach me. It touches my mind and heart. It bites my soul.
“Father save me. It hurts!”
“SILENCE! DO NOT CALL FOR HIM AGAIN!” The whip slashes my back. Blood flows freely.
A light, a blinding light shines into the darkness. There is screaming. My eyes. I fight it. No…no. Darkness fills my head. It is pounding. Gentle hands lift me. Everything goes dark.
CHAPTER 9
When I open my eyes everything is white. I no longer hurt everywhere. There are scars on my back and arms. Those are the only traces of hell. Or so I thought. I tried to stretch my wings out. It burned instead of stretching. I reached back. “My wings!” I gasped.
“Yes your wings are gone. I reached out to help you. Why didn’t you trust me?” The Most High was stitting beside me. I stared at Him.
“I…I don’t know. I was afraid.” I lower my eyes.
“Fear is a dangerous thing my child. Because of it you have let evil possess you.”
I stare at him blankly. He reached out and stroked my head. There are tiny bumps where horns are starting to sprout. I look at him now alarmed.
“No evil is allowed here. The only way for you to rid yourself of it is to let go of everything you hold dear and cling to me.”
Upon hearing that I screamed; my head is thrust back and I throw myself to the ground.
“This is a battle you can’t win by yourself,” He said calmly.
“And who do you think you are!”
“Your Savior.”
“No never! I would rather serve a pig!” I yell.
“If that is what you want.”
All of a sudden my garments are replaced with rags. My hair is cut short. My name is taken. I am banished. I chose evil over my “savior”. I was kicked into the blackness and landed in the rubble pile. I scream like a madwoman. “You…you father of pigs. Rot in hell. Just like me!” I knew he heard me. It all happened so fast. I wasn’t ashamed. No…not until now.
CHAPTER 10
I awoke with a start. My dreams are haunting but not like the memory of the Most High. His eyes. His eyes haunt me. They see my soul. They tear me apart inside then out. The eyes of the man are like His. Could it be? Is this a second chance? “No…no I won’t take it,” I scream out loud. “I am evil!”
My fits come more frequently. Not just when I use my power. They cast me into the fire; but it does not burn. The real pain is within. My heart is burning. My soul is dying. With each one I draw closer to hell. This isn’t the way I wanted things to end.
I try to avoid the fountain. But something draws me there. Almost like I want to go back. Benakuri slaps me every time I say I want to. I have no control over her. None. When I think she is gone I leave. But she shows up and drags me back to the rubble pile.
I have to see Him again. I have to know if He is the Most High.
One day I decided to risk it all. I know Benakuri is hiding somewhere, ready to tear me to pieces if I leave. But I have to go. I reach the fountain. Benakuri is waiting.
“You aren’t going,” she glared at me.
“Benakuri, please just once more,” I plead with her.
“You Are Not Going!” She screams.
I start to back away. But somewhere deep inside pulls me to the fountain. I made a running start and jumped in before Benakuri can even blink. She sat down stunned, knowing she would have to have an explanation for her master.
CHAPTER 11
Benakuri waited for her master. He approaches.
“You lost her. Moron.”
“Master I am sorry, it was an accident. I had no idea she would jump in.”
“You underestimate her. You underestimate me,” he hissed. Black smoke rose and curled around him. He was growing tired of her constant excuses. If he didn’t get what he wanted he punished.
“Please, just give me more chance. I will get her.”
“Ugh you couldn’t get a snail. If I want something I always have to do it myself,” he whined. “Look I will plant doubt, despair, and fear in her and you do the rest. OR…I WILL KILL YOU!”
“Yes…yes master. I won’t fail you,” stammered Benakuri.
“Oh trust me, you will.”
The master pulled Benakuri close and kissed her. And with that he disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.
“Trust me. I won’t,” hissed Benakuri.
CHAPTER 12
I step out of the fountain. He is there. There was no blinding light. But his gaze brought me to my knees. My eyes stare at the floor. He approaches me. His hand reaches under my chin and tightens. He lifts my face up. I look into His eyes. I know it is Him.
“You…you are giving me another chance?” I stammer.
“My child you will always have another chance.” He strokes my horns again.
A tear fell down my face. He wiped it away. “It won’t be easy.”
“I…I don’t know?”
“It’s your choice. You must choose to let me help you.”
I feel a fit coming on. I throw myself to the floor. Everything is burning. I look up. His eyes! His eyes! My head is thrust back. I reach out, “Father help me,” I whisper.
He knelt beside me and laid his hand over my heart. My demon bites me hard. I scream in pain, “Father please!”
“I am here,” his voice is calm. His hands numb the burning pain. The demon is leaving? Yes, yes it is! The Most High grabs my outstretched hand. “I am here,” he whispers.
My demon hangs on.
“You must tell it to leave in my name.”
“I can’t. It hurts too much!”
“You have to be willing to let it go.”
“I am willing!” I scream. But somewhere deep inside of me I still want it. I let go of His hand and curl into a ball. My demon sinks into my soul. “I am,” I whisper.
I feel a hand on my back. It burns but I let it. I am too ashamed. I sit up and cry. The Most High is still kneeling next to me. “My child when you are ready cast it out in my name. There is great sacrifice that comes with leaving evil but to find the joy of the King of kings, it is worth it.”
“It hurts so much,” I sob.
“Sacrifices hurt; sometimes deep. But wounds heal.”
I look up at him. My eyes meet his gaze. I dry my tears. He reaches out and touches my wing stubs. “You bear the scars of hell.”
“You saved me then. Can you still?”
He smiled. “Every day you wake, I am saving you.”
“I can’t,” I blurt out. “I can’t be saved. I can’t be loved and I can’t be touched. It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”
“You matter.”
Those last words linger in my head as I step into the fountain. I matter.
CHAPTER 13
How can I matter? How can be loved or even wanted? I kill. I am evil. I am a mistake. These thoughts echo through my head. Then there is the quite whisper, you matter.
I want to go back. I want to see him again. Benakuri won’t stand for it. She bites me every time I think about Him. I want Him. But I keep wondering…what is the sacrifice? Would He sacrifice me like Benakuri said. What is I can’t do what He says? I can’t cast out a demon! I just don’t want to get hurt. A whisper in my head tells me I am already hurt so what more could it do.
I am not ready to leave behind this life; terrible as it is. I want Benakuri. But in a way, I need Him.
I run to the fountain. Benakuri is waiting. She grabs my arm and spins me around until I am facing the entrance to hell. “Leave this place immediately, or I will throw you into hell!”
“You can’t do that, you are just an imaginary person I made up.” I gasp. I had just called her imaginary. She gasps to. Her nails sink into my arm.
“You wretch!” Benakuri’s face turns red. She is turning into a demon. I gasp.
“You…you are my demon. You’re the wretch!”
“Surprised?” Asked Benakuri with a sneer.
“You, you were supposed to be my friend. What did I ever do to you?”
“You’ll cost me my life as a demon is I don’t get your soul!”
“And you will cost me my life as an angel!”
“You are no longer an angel. You lost that long ago!”
“I…I will never let you have my soul. I…I belong to the Most High,” I stammer trying to believe it’s true.
Benakuri grabs me and throws me to the ground. “Curse you. I dam you to hell.” She picks me back up and throws me again. I hit my head hard. It knocks me cold.
CHAPTER 14
My eyes flutter open. I am back at the rubble pile chained to the ground. Benakuri is standing next to me. Cast out the demon in my name, echoes through my head.
“In the name of my Father, the King of kings, the Most High, LEAVE!” I scream as loud as I can.
The ground shakes. The fires of hell blaze high. Benakuri in turn screams; a blood chilling wail like cry. Demons surround me letting out the same wail like cry. There are too many. What have I done? The ground still rumbles and shakes. Then it splits and up from it rises the king of evil himself. There is nothing I can do; I am still chained to the ground. In his left hand he holds the whip of fire. Around me the demons are wailing and praising him. Is this the sacrifice? I call on the Most High and get dammed to hell. The king of evil approaches me. Black smoke curls around him. He smiles evilly.
“My fallen angel; we meet again.”
I say nothing.
“Silent our we? That’s fine, I can make you scream,” he glowed with hate.
His whip slashes my back. I still remain silent though I want to scream in pain.
“You think silence is bravery. You are right,” he hisses. “From now on I am your father. Your father below. I do not make empty promises. When you call on me; I come.”
The heat of his words is overbearing. Where is the Most High?
“He’s abandon you; left you alone. You are forgotten by him. You will now serve me.”
He can read my mind! I am afraid. I can’t help it. My whole body is burning but, I will never be his.
“No! Never I belong to the Most High!” I yell.
“Ugh! Just forget him already. He is nothing compared to me,” his voice sounded angry.
“I WILL NEVER BE YOURS!” I scream.
The king of evil shrieked. “You are always mine. I own your soul. You gave into evil. That is why “he” is not here!”
Was that true? I called on him. Where was he? These doubts ran through my head. There was a hand on my shoulder it was flaming hot and burnt my skin. “He no longer cares for. He has forsaken you,” the king of evil whispered in my ear.
I let out a sob. “I was his. He promised.” It was heartbreaking.
“He breaks his word. And yes you were his but he moved on. He probably found someone better. That’s what he does,” he crooned.
“Father please,” I sob.
CHAPTER 15
A blinding light shines through the darkness. The demons scream and crumble into dust. The ground shakes. The king of evil stands perfectly still. The Most High is standing in front of him the blinding light surrounding him. The king of evil screams a deadly wail and slashes his whip at the Most High. “The wretch is mine,” he hisses. It curls around the Most High’s wrist and then vanishes.
“She is mine. I bought her with a price.” The Most High’s voice is stern.
The king of evil squeals at that. “Don’t remind of that cursed day. It was supposed to be a victory for hell.”
“Hell has no victory.”
“Every day you lose thousands of souls to me.”
“But in the end who, is the victorious?” The Most High stared the king of evil right in the eyes.
“We’ll have to see, when that time comes. For now the girl is mine. I own her soul. She abandoned you and chose me.”
I look up at the Most High ashamed. The king of evil is right. I chose evil over him.
“She called on me to save her. Those who, call on me I save.
“Fine then, if you want her come and get her.” The king of evil grabbed me by my neck. You said hell has no victory; it does today.” He tightened his grip around my neck. The chains vanish like the whip. He touches my heart then throws me to the ground. And then I feel it. The last of my soul is gone. I gasp but stop. There is no air. I cannot speak. I cannot move. I am dying. These last words run through my head. “Father please. You can save me.” That was it
CHAPTER 16
I do not know what it is like to die. But it certainly wasn’t what I expected. My eyes opened and I was in a white room again. The Most High was there but he was different he was…just different. I can’t explain. There was no difference in me. I am still black, ugly, and evil. I want to speak but I am afraid. But at the same time not. I just want to stare at him. But I need to know.
“Father, what is the sacrifice?” I ask timidly.
“To be cleansed of evil, you must be willing to leave everything behind. Your wings, your power, your sin, you must choose me over all of that, to gain the joy of the King and the forgiveness that covers all of your sin.”
“I will no longer be an angel?”
“No, you will be my daughter.”
“I want to, but I don’t know if I can leave everything I hold dear.”
“You must choose the world, or me. Are you willing to have me and only me?”
“I am willing,” I whisper. “Father help the part of me that’s not.”
CHAPTER 17
He smiled and kissed my forehead. A warm stream of peace, comfort, joy, and forgiveness covers me from head to toe. My rags are stripped away and replaced with the garments of the holy. My old self is gone. I am a new person with a new name. I am called beautiful daughter of the King.
“I am beautiful!” I exclaim twirling around in a circle.
“You are my daughter. You are loved.” The Most High smiled a radiant smile.
“What about Benakuri and the king of evil?”
“They are gone; sent back to hell.”
“Will they continue to hunt people?”
“Yes…sadly. And many more will fall prey and chose them over me. But there will come a day when they are forever destroyed and there will only joy and peace.”
I sighed with happiness.
EPILOG
“Benakuri. You owe me an explanation.”
“I have none.”
“Do you think humility will save you?”
“No…no master.”
“Good, good because it won’t. YOU HAVE FAILED ME!” Roared the king of evil. All of hell shook. Black smoke rose mixed the fire and brimstone. “I just don’t understand. She was a fallen angel, they are the easiest to get and yet you FAILED!”
“I’m sorry. She was stronger than she looks.”
“Or maybe it’s that you are weaker than a demon should be. And in that case you should not be a demon. In fact; YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALIVE!”
“Please, master I thought that you loved me.”
“Loved?” The master laughed and patted Benakuri on the head. “My darling girl, you really are quite dumb. Love is a stupid thing. I have no time or patience for love.”
“But...”
“Suck it up moron. I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU, OR LOVE!” The master roared.
“Please I will do better next time,” pleaded Benakuri.
“Next time. Next time. THERE WILL NOT BE A NEXT TIME!” The king of evil grabbed Benakuri. “I want you dead,” he whispered. “but every day that girl lives in peace, I want you suffer.” He handed her over to another demon. “BURN HER!” He yelled. That was the end of Benakuri.
As for me the Most High was right. He saved me. Every day I had breath He saved me. And now He has made my life beautiful. I am to sit at His right hand, dine with Him at His table, and walk with Him daily. My wings are gone but with Him I soar. I am no longer an angel, I am His daughter. I am no longer broken, I am healed. I am no longer fallen because He picked me up. I am redeemed.
