HIS ATTENTION

DAN

Yeah, I’m a fucking sadist.

That was all he could think of to explain his presence at this table.

“I don’t give a shit, Kendra,” the asshole his mom married spouted foul words all over their dinner.

“Honey, stop, not at the table.” God bless his very soft mother, but he didn’t know how she could take so much shit from one human being.

“Pass me the salt, Danny.” Make that two. The buffoon bore a child—surprise, surprise—another insufferable buffoon.

“Get it yourself,” Dan spat. It felt childish, but Xander had a way of bringing it out of him.

“Very mature,” Xander muttered with Dan’s mother’s half-chewed Brussels sprouts in his mouth.

Xander did everything possible to annoy the living hell out of him. Dan still didn’t believe he was capable of doing every single thing he did for the past three years on purpose; no one was that well-versed in the art of eliciting irritation from another human without even doing much. And if he was, then he was an even worse monster than the one that begot him.

“Danny, pass your brother the salt.” The look of irritation he directed to his mother must not have been very well hidden because the fool started the beginning of the annoying smirk he wore whenever things looked good in his favor.

“Yeah, pass me the salt, Danny boy.” Of course, he audibly ended the sentence with ‘Danny’… Normal, right? Except he went ahead to make an exaggerated gesture of mouthing ‘boy’, with a smile on his lips, of course.

“Go fuck yourself.” Dan wasn’t even hungry anymore.

“Oh, gladly; have you seen me?” Great, the usual narcissistic self-worship.

Dan shoved macaroni down his throat, not bothering to taste it, just wanting to leave their presence. His mother would make a fuss if he didn’t at least make it look like he’d eaten off his plate, and he needed to do something with his hands. Being idle while he fantasized about throwing his plate, food and all, across the table at the asshole’s head wasn’t a good way to practice self-restraint.

Dan was twice the man Xander and his father could ever be combined, both physically and mentally, like the past—as near as the last few seconds—suggested. But that didn’t stop his fist from clenching and his knuckles from itching; they really ached to kiss Xander’s pretty-boy face, wipe the stupid smirk on his fuck-boy lips permanently. Dan just knew his favorite thing to participate in would be watching someone sew Xander’s mouth shut. No crookedness, no bending to the fucking side of his face like he’s got a mini-stroke, just the straightest fucking line ever.

“Can we all shut up while I’m trying to have dinner in my house?!” the bigger buffoon howled, raising his voice more than absolutely necessary considering no one here was deaf. The father’s replica rolled his eyes at his apple tree; even he thought the tyrant-wannabe dad of his was lame.

Dan was so done.

“Guys, let’s be cool,” his mom said in her peace-making voice, subtly rubbing her palm up and down her husband’s arm. The smug look on his face said everything his mouth hadn’t.

“Look, I’m fucking your mother and there’s nothing you can do about it, and when I bleat like the goat I am, she comforts me like the little pussy I also am.”

Dan couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness that was this unfortunately familiar process. It made him itch.

“It’s a nice night. Danny, you got your things in the truck yet?” Oh God, they were back to this conversation. They already had it during breakfast; when did she start asking twice a day?

“No, Mom.”

“You still haven’t? When will you do that then? Your classes start next week.” Oh, he knew; she reminded him every day.

“Yeah, I know. I plan to do it tomorrow.”

“That’s better. Do you need help? Xander can help you.” Hope shone in her eyes; it bothered her that they didn’t get along.

“No, I’m good.”

“I’m free. Wouldn’t mind helping my new roomie say bye to his old apartment.” This was all a game to Xander, to toy with him. Dan repeated those words in his head, to stop from launching himself over the unnecessarily long table.

“No. I’m. Good.” Dan stared pointedly at Xander, hoping every of his intentions towards Xander, were visible in his face. He just wished the rules were little bit lax.

“If you say so, Danny.” His smile conveyed how much he knew his mere presence was getting to Dan.

“Yeah, Danny, you should accept your brother’s help if it’s too much.” his mom chirped in cheerfully.

“I’m fine,” he struggled to maintain his volume, forcing his words out of his clenched jaw.

“You’ve always liked to do things yourself.” His mom shrugged. “I’m so happy and excited for you,” she chuckled, taking a sip from her glass of wine. “Right, honey?” She gave Joey, the balding moron, a smile, real excitement in her wide eyes.

“Yeah, whatever,” Joe said. He really didn’t care. Dan himself didn’t, and that was another thing about his present life he hated. His mother had always dreamt of him going to college.

When he finished high school and decided to learn how to fix motorbikes and cars because they couldn’t afford college, his mother felt so guilty about it. He tried assuring her he did like what he was doing; he loved the bikes especially—fixing them, tuning them, riding them… it was a passion he never knew he’d learn to grow this much.

His mother still blamed herself and made it her sole purpose to make sure he went to college like every other person. She scurried the very little she got from bussing tables at the restaurant she worked her ass off, pinching pennies until she met Joe, the rich fucker, and with Dan’s beautiful luck, Joe happened to father the most annoying human on earth. His mom finally married Joe, and money for college was no longer a problem. It didn’t matter that he, Dan, had no special interest in going to college. He did not hate it, but sometimes it felt like his going to college was more his mother’s dream than his.

It all felt meh. He wasn’t opposed to taking photography classes, he wasn’t thrilled as well.

He remained unbothered right until his beloved stepfather, AKA his college sponsor, decided on his behalf that it was best if he shared an apartment with his almost-imbecile of a son, since he went to the same college and already had one nearby.

The cheap bastard sold it to his mom as some kind of bond-building bullshit between two brothers and his love-blind mother bought it without question, whispering in Dan’s ears every now and then, “Isn’t he nice? He wants you guys to be closer.”

Closer with this little shit? Dan hoped not.

“What do you guys say we do a sendoff party for Dan?” His mom looked around the silent table, somehow not noticing the thick hostility in the air. “Just like we did for Xander last year? Hmm?”

“Oh, I’m down for a party, Kendra,” Xander chirped. Amusement dripped off his words.

Fuck no.

“No.”

“You don’t have a say, Danny. You should be celebrated.” His mom could be exhausting sometimes; he never understood where all her energy came from.

No, that’s not right, he knew. Her smiles and eagerness to do cheerful things was just a good testament of expensive depression meds. She was on the good stuff for sure.

“Fuck no, we can’t have a party,” Joe quipped at his mom’s suggestion.

Dan never knew this day would come, where he and Joe would ever be on the same page. He just needed a minute to know why it was so; he bet it would be nothing good.

“Why?” His mother’s smile had fallen off her lips.

“We’ve got the trip to San Francisco; you know the one we’ve been planning?” Joe snapped.

“But… we…”

“Yeah, you forgot, I got that part.” Joe rolled his eyes, not minding that was so not what she wanted to say.

Dan HATED the way Joe spoke to his mother, but he kept his mouth shut. She was a grown woman, he told himself.

“Well, we go on the trip the day after tomorrow… we can still do Dan’s party tomo—”

“What about the spa reservation tomorrow? I’m not wasting my money just so we can all sit and wave Dan goodbye. That reservation was really expensive.”

“But still, we can…”

“I still don’t see how—”

Fuck this.

“I DON’T WANT A PARTY!” His voice made his mother jump. Fear passed through her features; it made him angrier and sad for her. He had to calm down; he hated when she looked like that.

“I don’t fucking want a party, Mom. You know how I… feel about stuff like that anyways,” he said softly, trying hard not to allow his irritation to slip into his tone; he didn’t want to ever be the reason she looked scared.

Dan stole a glance unwillingly at Xander’s evil form on the other end of the table. As expected, he met with the permanent stupid smirk that seemed stuck on his lips.

What was so funny about anything they’ve said at this table since they all sat here?

“WHAT?!” he spat when the fool started snickering, putting in as much venom as he could into that one word. If his words could kill, thousands of sharp curved blades like the one resting against his hips would have been poking out every single inch of Xander, pinning him permanently to the wall behind him. What a beautiful art display that would have been.

Xander laughed, swirling the wine in his glass before taking a sip.

Sometimes Dan wondered if he was truly okay mentally for always showing up to these stupid dinners when he could be out riding and feeling the air on his face.

“Nothing, Danny, I just think the golden boy deserves a party.”

Yeah, fuck this. The back and forth was getting more ridiculous for Dan’s head. They were screaming over parties like kindergartners.

“Thanks for dinner.” He dropped the napkin into the unfinished food on his plate and stood up, letting the chair scrape the floor very loudly in a satisfying screech that the cheap bastard would definitely hate. What man cared about floors if he wasn’t fixing them? This one did.

“You didn’t finish your food. What about dessert? Lemme go get it.” His mother began standing up, her eager-to-please look taking over her face, straining the muscles on her forehead.

“Nah, Mom, I’m full. Really.”

He wasn’t moving in with Xander that night; he still had till the next morning. There was absolutely no need to tolerate anymore of their presence when he sure would be getting plenty of it in his future.

He wanted out of there. He longed for the feel of his bike handle on his hands, and what felt like he was riding free at a bazillion miles per hour but was barely one-twenty.

The only time he ever truly felt peace was on Betty; she was enough for him.

Xander’s tiny frame hit him just as he was about to carry out his escape plan. So maybe Dan called him tiny—he hated the fool; it didn’t mean it was true. He was smaller than Dan’s own bulky frame, like most people, but he was not a small guy. Judging from the contact his elbow made with Dan’s stomach, in the wide, well-lit city hall that surrounded them in excuse for a kitchen, Xander was taunting him again.

“Oops, didn’t see you there.” The mixture of mischief and the glossy look in his eyes that made him sure the fool was high on something had him taking a step back.

The little shit was enjoying riling him up, and the familiar heat in Dan’s stomach was evidence he was indeed losing control of the short temper he worked so hard to keep in check all evening.

“Get out of my way.” The stubbornness that sat in his chest prevented him from just walking around the piece of shit.

Xander giggled.

“Yeah? Totally.” But he still stood like he hadn’t just agreed to move.

“Where are you in a hurry to go, huh?” He tilted his head like he was genuinely curious.

“None of your fucking business. Move.”

He snickered again before moving sideways. “You really should learn to relax. You don’t have to act like a caveman about everything.”

Dan rushed past him with his fist clenched in an attempt to keep himself grounded. He still didn’t understand the science behind letting something so stupid get to him this much.

“Go ride into the sunset, princess. Oh, and see you tomorrow, roomie.” Xander called out after him, meaningless laughter in his voice.

The joke was still very much lost on Dan, and he wanted so bad to shake the shit out of Xander until he explained ‘WHAT WAS FUNNY’.

“Fuck you,” Dan growled instead.

“Like always, fuck yeah, I’d totally do me.”

He grabbed his jacket from one of the hooks by the door, already reaching for the pack of cigarettes he had lodged in the pockets of it.

Xander wasn’t really worth ruining his mother’s relationship because Dan couldn’t control his anger.

But something about the asshole she hitched up with and his offspring just always triggered him. Could be how fake and fucking smug they both acted, like they have the world laying at their feet and they could order for it at any moment. Or fucking toy with him.

Dan just knew around them he always felt triggered.

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