Prologue
ZOEY - AGE 6
I remember crying. There were so many things that you could remember. I remember getting a dog which was a present from my Uncle George. He was my best friend. He was like gold, like Rapunzel’s hair, and Uncle George would always tell me what kind of a dog he is but I could never remember. He was so pretty. I named him Goldy.
Goldy was my best friend in the whole wide world.
It was dark out. Mama said that I shouldn’t be awake at this time. I have practice every morning, playing soccer. I play soccer! I’m so good at it that my coach said that when I grow up, I can be a part of the league. He always promised me that he’ll take care of me because I’m like his daughter too.
There was a loud crash that had me jumping to my little feet. Mama and Zion always said that I shouldn’t come out of my room at this time. But… I couldn’t help it. When I reached the door handle, I could hear their voices. Mama is crying. I have to get to her. I always comfort her whenever she’s sad.
Running in my bare feet, I start going to our little kitchen. Everybody’s so tall from where I stood. But Mama is on the floor, hiding her face in her hands. Zizi is shouting something that I can’t hear because Daddy’s voice is so loud that I feel like I was shaking.
Zizi saw me first, grabbing my hand. “Zo, go upstairs!”
I shook my head. “Mama! I have to get to mama!”
“Zoey!” Mama lifted her head up and I saw how sad she was. She was crying again.
Oh no.
“Oh you have to get to her, do you?” Daddy was red. He was always like that when he is angry or drinking his special juice that mama said isn’t allowed for me. I didn’t know why, until I took a sip when I saw it in the fridge. It tasted yucky.
He walked over to where mama was and grabbed her by the hair. I shouted while trying to pull away from Zizi. But he doesn’t want to let me go. Why won’t he let me go?! “Mama!”
When he finally did, I ran to Mama, stepping on something sharp that hurt my feet. I was crying because I was so scared but that’s okay, mama said when I get hurt or sad or scared, she’ll take care of me. If she can’t, Zizi will. He always takes care of me when she can’t.
“Let my mom go!” Zizi ran to him and pushed him back. But dad was bigger and while he did let mama go, he had Zion on his back on the ground. “Fuck you old man! I hope you fucking die!”
Zizi said a bad word. That’s okay too. He always tells me that if he said that, it meant he was super angry and that he wasn’t talking to me. He would never say bad words to me because he loves me.
“Zion!” Mama took my hand and we rushed to my big brother.
“Mom, please,” Zion said. “We have to leave.”
“Leave?!” Dad’s voice was scary. I hid in between mama and Zion. He was so close and so big. “Where the fuck are you going to go? You have no money and no one to help you! If you think you’re fucking leaving—”
“Mom, I’ll handle everything,” Zion was crying. Was he hurt too? I look at his feet. There was some blood on the floor. Oh no! “Mom, please. Let’s just leave him.”
“Zi…” Mama didn’t stop crying too. Only daddy was the one not crying. He let them talk to each other but I could see that he was only staring at mama. “You know, I can’t. We can’t leave.”
Zion pulled himself up. He didn’t care that he was bleeding. When I looked into his face, there was a booboo on him too. Daddy did that. He always hurt us.
Always.
Zizi was walking on the table and then grabbed some keys and then he was running out that door.
Mama was screaming for him. Daddy was shouting too but not him, at mom. I couldn’t hear them well. I just wanted Zizi to be with me.
Everything happened so fast that I couldn’t remember how I ended up running where Zion was. He was in the car. He was starting it and without even waiting for me, he was already leaving.
“Zizi!” I screamed. “Zizi! Don’t leave!”
He promised.
He wouldn’t leave me.
If he did, he would come back.
When my legs felt like they were on fire, I stopped. Coach did say that if I was tired, I shouldn’t push myself so hard. I watched as the car got smaller and smaller…
…and smaller.
Tears continued to run down.
And Zion never came back.
