Chapter 1
Driving down the 5 heading north, with a car packed way past full plus a cat, Helia had never felt more lost. Moving to California was supposed to be her fresh start—a challenge to establish her life in a new state and pave her own way.
She hadn’t taken into account that the friend she had moved with would get a job offer of a lifetime back home in Oregon. Finding any job, especially as a fresh graduate, was daunting—let alone a six-figure job at the age of twenty-three. Helia didn’t judge Melissa for taking it. Pressures from her parents and family friends made it almost impossible to refuse.
It didn’t mean all was lost. They still had the chance to try the California dream, and California would always be there. Still, Helia was headed home to nothing—no job, no money. She was grateful for a place to live; luckily, her mother had gone back on the request for rent and said she was welcome to stay.
As Helia cycled through her usual thoughts, talking herself down from what could turn into a panic attack, she got a call from Melissa.
“Hello?”
“Hey Helia! I’m hungry and I’ve got to pee soooooo bad! Can we stop? We can fill up on gas too!”
“Yes! I’m starving and could use a break.”
“Perfect! There’s a McDonald’s coming up in about ten miles. Let’s stop there!”
“Okay, sounds good. What are you listening to?”
“Taylor Swift, duh! I’m working my way through her discography. I’m on1989right now. Don’t miss the exit — see you soon!”
They had driven together when moving, but now, returning home, they drove separately to save gas. The call from Melissa couldn’t have come at a better time. Helia’s energy was fading fast. She needed a large fry and a Diet Coke to make the final push. After five hours on the road that day and ten the day before, they were almost back to Portland—only a few hours now.
This was Helia’s favorite part of the drive, with familiar scenery: large green hills full of pine trees, interspersed with lush farmland. The air was wet and thick from the trees perspiring and the rain falling above. Her windshield wipers worked overtime, a welcome change after the California dust that had coated her dad’s car. Eugene and Corvallis, where they had gone to college, were filled with memories. Helia had spent the last year planning her move, saving up. Now she was back at square one, trying to figure out what path she wanted her life to take—but what a privilege to have the choice at all.
“Ahh, shit, there’s the exit!”
Helia made it just in time, with only minimal hazardous driving—a style she had adapted from California.
Pulling into the parking lot, she saw Melissa’s Prius already parked. She peeked through the window but didn’t see Melissa; she must already be in the bathroom. Helia reached over and petted Bugsby, her nine-year-old tabby cat, who had been through many moves and uncertainties with her.
“Wait here, Bugs. We’ll be back super soon. Just stay cozy in your spot.”
Helia had created a small nest for Bugsby to curl up in. The cat was the sweetest, most well-behaved feline on the planet. Helia gave her a kiss attack before heading into McDonald’s.
“Hey, Melissa! Couldn’t hold it, hahaha, could you?”
“Nope. Sorry.”
“No worries. Will you order while I use the bathroom?”
“Yeah! Large fries and a Diet Coke?”
“Perfect. Lots of sauce, please.”
“Okay, got it. Oh…”
Melissa paused, hand on her hip and a judgmental look on her face.
“What, Mel?”
“Well, I’m just saying, watch out. A big Nordic family went in when I came out, and they’re still in there. You might have to wait a minute. Really creepy kids… strange look in their eyes.”
“Oh, haha, okay. Thanks for the heads up!”
Melissa hated kids. She thought any kid had creepy eyes and also had a thing against blondes, so Helia didn’t think much of the warning.
Helia headed to the bathroom at the back of the store, past a female door and a male door. Thankfully, there was no door code.
The first thing she noticed was the horrific smell. She pinched her nose and stifled a groan. Luckily, a stall was free—the one between two that were in use: a regular and a handicapped stall.
As she went about her business, she could hear a family talking in the large stall next to hers, in a language she assumed was Norwegian, though she didn’t know it. Helia wanted the process to be as quick as possible; she didn’t want to be there longer than necessary, especially with that smell.
She finished up and got up to flush. As she glanced down, she noticed a thick, yellowish-brown, sappy-looking substance seeping from the stall next to hers. The smell intensified as the substance seemed to grow. Helia flushed quickly, careful not to step in it.
“What the fuck… that is absolutely foul,” she whispered to herself out loud. All she could think was to get out of there as fast as possible.
She moved toward the sink, hands under the water. Behind her, she heard the small stall unlatch and footsteps approaching. Her stomach dropped. She reached for a paper towel and sensed something waiting its turn.
“Ahhhg, empty!” she sighed, turning quickly on her heels.
Behind her was a seven-foot man, paler than anyone she had ever seen. Helia was used to being called pale herself, but this man was ghost-colored. His head was bald except for a clump of straight orange hair in the center. He had no eyebrows.
Helia realized she was staring and tried to stop. As she glanced down, the man raised his massive arm, holding a crumpled clump of paper towels.
He extended his hand.
“Oh, haha, thank you!” Helia laughed nervously. She hesitated briefly—always told never to extend her hand—but decided he seemed harmless. She plucked one paper towel from the ten he held.
“Guess I know where all the paper towels went now, hahaha, thank you!” The man said nothing, only stared.
“Okay, anyways, have a nice day,” she said politely, squeezing past him. His eyes stayed fixated as she rounded the corner and left the bathroom.
The lobby felt almost twenty degrees warmer than the bathroom, and the smell was gone. Helia tried to shake off what had just happened. There were a lot of strange people out there, she reminded herself.
Scanning the lobby, she spotted Melissa sitting in a booth, an upset look on her face.
“What? What’s up? Were they out of ranch?” Helia asked as she approached.
“Wow, that was a long one. Are you feeling better now?” Melissa replied.
“What do you mean? I was in there for, like, five minutes,” Helia said, completely forgetting about the bathroom ordeal.
Melissa shook her head. “No, girl. You were in there for at least half an hour.”
Helia glanced down and saw her phone buzzing with a missed message from her mom. Yep, she had been in the bathroom for over thirty minutes.
“What the hell,” she muttered. “Geez, Melissa, that’s strange. I swear I was only peeing.”
“Okay, whatever you say, weirdo. We’ve got to go; we’re missing prime road time. You can eat your fries in the car.”
“Wait! I need to tell you about what just happened in the bathroom. It was insane—there was this creepy guy—”
“Whoa, hold on, Helia. Are you sure it was a man? You know there are no gender-neutral bathrooms here. Maybe they just went into the one they felt most comfortable in.”
Helia felt her face heat up. She hadn’t meant to be insensitive. “Oh, yeah… I guess you’re right. Anyways, there was this smell—”
“Helia, I’d love to hear more about the bathroom smell, but we really should get moving. My parents are making me dinner tonight, and they want me home on time.”
Helia decided maybe she had been imagining things—or maybe her brain was just fried.
Back in the parking lot, Helia spotted Bugsby curled up in the driver’s seat of her dad’s car.
“Move over, Bugs. I’ve gotta get in, girl,” she said.
The cat begrudgingly moved to her side of the seat. “You know, I wish I could curl up in a nest right now. You really are lucky,” Helia cooed.
Melissa had already started the Prius, and Helia heard the familiar hum of the engine. She turned back to Bugsby.
“Okay, Bugs, let’s get moving. No more stops, okay?”
Bugsby pressed her face flush against the glass and hissed aggressively.
“What the hell, Bugsby?” Helia exclaimed, glancing around to see what had set her off.
Her stomach dropped. The pale man from the bathroom wasn’t alone. Three smaller children, all with similar white hair, flanked him as they moved toward a massive RV parked awkwardly in the lot.
Ugh, of course, Helia muttered to herself. She sank into her seat, hoping they didn’t notice her staring.
A tall, thin woman followed a few yards behind them. She was nearly as tall as the pale man, wearing a floor-length dress that reminded Helia of the strictest Norman mother she could imagine. A straw hat with a veil covered her face, and her hands were clad in white gloves.
The four boarded the RV one by one: first the pale man, then the children, then the mysterious woman. The blacked-out windows ended Helia’s chance to observe.
Bugsby finally calmed, but Helia felt a sick feeling in her stomach. The hairs on her arms stood on end.
Melissa had already driven off before the family left the McDonald’s. Helia glanced at the clock—another twenty minutes had passed.
“What the hell? How has it been twenty minutes? Let’s get the hell out of here, Bugsby.”
She peeled out of the parking lot faster than she ever had in her life
Helia arrived home around 10 p.m. The familiar glisten of the streetlamps reflecting off the wet pavement made her feel secure. Bugsby slept soundly beside her, curled tight to conserve body heat. It was December in Oregon, and neither of them had been this cold in a long time. They had left for California in September, before the rain and chill swept back in.
Helia sat for a moment and took it all in. She was thankful for the change in weather—it made everything feel familiar, but different enough from when she’d left. “Well, at least it’s nice weather,” she said aloud.
At the sound of her voice, Bugsby stirred. Her ears perked up as she stretched and yawned. Helia glanced toward the street to see if her mom’s car was parked out front. It wasn’t. The giant car her tiny mother insisted on driving was gone, as usual.
Helia never understood why her mother needed such a large vehicle. She only ever drove between work and her girlfriend’s house. Her parents had divorced two years earlier while Helia was away at college. Her father had had an affair—with an Australian pelvic floor physical therapist—and after nearly forty years together, the marriage ended.
Helia remembered getting the call. She hadn’t been shocked by the divorce, only by the affair. Her dad had been her best friend growing up; she’d always felt he understood her. She and her mother, on the other hand, had never quite gotten along. Their personalities didn’t mesh, and Helia had often thought her parents should never have had kids at all. Still, after the divorce, they both seemed happier apart. In hindsight, they probably had been for a long time.
Her mother had started dating almost immediately. After a few men, she decided she was more interested in women. She loved to brag about the people she was seeing—a professor, an executive, an ex–drug addict with generational wealth, an airline pilot. Helia listened, half-amused, half-removed. Her mom’s car was missing more often than not; she usually stayed the night at her girlfriend’s place in a suburb outside the city.
she turned toward the mound of belongings she’d brought back from California: red cowgirl boots, ski goggles, a beach chair. She had tried to downsize over the last few months, donating bag after bag of clothes, but she still felt attached to all of it.“I’m not dealing with any of this tonight,” she said, deciding it could wait.
She gathered Bugsby and her bag of essentials—toothbrush, contacts, a cozy pair of pajamas—and headed for the door. Finding her keys wasn’t easy. She’d reminded her mother countless times to leave the porch light on when she was coming home late.
“What if someone was following me?” Helia had once asked. “How am I supposed to get inside fast without the light on?”Her mother had laughed. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to remember. I love you. You’re my person—you know that.”
Balancing Bugsby in one arm, Helia fumbled with the latch, using her phone flashlight to guide the key. Click. The door unlocked. She kicked her bag inside and stepped in after it.
“Oh my god, it’s freezing in here.”
She could see her breath. It was colder inside than it had been outside. She flipped the lights on, slapping at the familiar cluster of switches until the whole house lit up. Even after twenty-two years, she could never remember which switch controlled what.
The house looked the same as it always did—lived in, but quiet. After the divorce, her mother had repainted and bought new furniture, throwing out most of what had been there before. Helia didn’t mind. She liked the soft gray-purple walls better than the dark red they used to be.
She turned the thermostat all the way up. Beneath her feet, she felt the furnace wake in the basement, then heard warm air begin to move through the vents. “Ahh, that’s better.”
Bugsby loafed on the couch, her paws tucked neatly underneath her. Helia watched her for a moment, letting the warmth return
