My Mind, Aloud
My mind is never silent
It just learns how to whisper
Whisper the thoughts that pound against my head
So no one else hears them
I love the hours from 12am to 5am
The world is so quiet
But my mind never shuts up
My mind is loud
Not in a screaming way
In a way that is like ten thoughts racing
Talking all at once
With none listening
If you heard my thoughts in a megaphone
Would you be proud?
You wouldn’t
Instead you would sit there in silence wondering
Why is she still breathing
I say im fine, it just rolls off the tongue
I say it so quickly because explaining is exhausting
Overthinking.
Replaying.
Rewinding moments that already hurt
I smile
I smile on purpose
Why you ask
Because explaining feels ten times heavier
Like carrying around a weight that not even the strongest man can lift
Some days my thoughts race
Faster than the fastest man alive
Like they are trying to escape
other days
They linger on my chest
Not wanted to move
I feel everything
Everything too deep
Too quickly
Too raw
Too
Much
I wonder
Would anyone recognize me
Would they recognize me without my mask
The mask that says “im okay”
Yet i’m still here
Even if my mind gives me every single reason to why i shouldn’t be
But this is not a cry for attention
It is me
Unfiltered
It is my mind
Finally
Speaking
Because it’s allowed
