What is your opinion?
CHAPTER 1 REVIEW
"CHAPTER 1 Plot Clarity & Pacing Clarity: The "S.C.A.D" world is established quickly. I understood immediately that this is a corporate-run, paramilitary science organization where employees are "indoctrinated" from birth. The shift from Adam’s POV (the hunt) to Amanda’s (the lab) works well to show two sides of the same coin. Pacing: The pace is fast, almost breathless. We move from a hunt to a proposal to a dissection in a single chapter. While this keeps the energy high, the transition between the hunt ending and the lab scene starting felt a bit like a "fast-forward." I would have liked to see a moment of the "cleanup" or the journey back to feel the weight of the travel. Character Development & Relatability Adam: He feels like a classic "grumpy but capable" lead. His annoyance with Sean is relatable, and his protective nature toward Amanda gives him a soft spot that makes him likable. His "2-year-old wrestling a Lycan" comment was a great "show of force" moment. Amanda: She provides a great counter-balance. Her excitement over the "Partnership Application" (which reads like a terrifying HR document) shows how deep the indoctrination goes, she sees a legal contract as a romantic gesture. This makes her very interesting to follow. Sean: He is effectively annoying. His "Colt hunting clan" energy makes him a perfect foil for the more cerebral Adam. Emotional Engagement The "Protocol 43" Reveal: This was a standout moment. Using codes to bypass corporate monitoring is a clever way to show their lack of freedom while highlighting their bond. It made the relationship feel earned despite the short page time. The "Partnership" Contract: As a reader, this document was genuinely unsettling. Questions about "dismemberment" and "retaining surnames" in a romantic proposal created a strong sense of "corporate horror." Structural Integrity POV Shifts: Switching between twins works well here because their lives are so intertwined. Using the "Lab/Location" headers helps keep the reader grounded in the geography of the facility. The Twist: The ending with the "blue luminescent worm" is a classic cliffhanger. It shifts the story from a "standard monster hunt" to something potentially alien or parasitic, which raises the stakes for Chapter 2. Strengths & Weak Areas Strengths: The "Corporate/Scientific" voice is the strongest part of the writing. Phrases like "Designation: Chupacabra" and "Application for Intimate Partnership" give the book a unique identity. The technical details during the dissection (Y-incision, sternum, isopropyl alcohol) make the world feel authentic and grounded. Weak Areas: The "4% Decapitation" Argument: While funny, the dialogue between Adam and Sean about the decapitation percentages felt a little bit like "info-dumping" statistics in the middle of a high-stress crawl. Adam's Injury: Adam gets a rock impaled through his hand and his foot chomped by a Chupacabra, yet he seems relatively "okay" shortly after (groaning but sitting up). In a world this dangerous, the physical toll might need to feel a bit heavier to keep the tension high, it felt like he bounced back very quickly for such a "gnarly" attack. This story has a lot of promise, and I’d be happy to share more in-depth feedback if you’re interested. You can reach me easily through the email icon on my profile."
Hidden Secrets, Unlikely Heroes
"I am so glad I read this story, because it is worth every second of the time I spent reading it♥️ This story begins as a science fiction, quickly turns into an adventure, transforms into a nailbiting thriller, and ends with a twist so surprising and mind-blowing that I am yearning for MORE😊 There are heroes and villains. In society, comic books, and science fiction. But what if the hero itself turns out to be the villain? What if it's not an individual but a giant corporation, running secret experiments and clandestine operations with a sinister agenda? They say the night is the darkest just before sunrise. They also say rebels are born from the blood of loyalists. Three such rebels are Amanda, Adam, and Dan. This is their story. These 3 bravehearts, aided and helped by a group of like-minded employees, rebel against the evil corporation, and end up saving humanity👍 But all heroes do that, right? So, what's new? This is where author Rain Dayze truly shines. She weaves a tale so full of secrets and revelations and twists and heartstopping moments that you are left reeling at the end of each chapter.💖 There's heartbreak. Sacrifices. Loss. Grief. Pain and panic. But there's also amazing displays of courage, unbelievable teamwork, raw determination, and extraordinary willpower that enables a ragtag bunch of rebels emerge victorious🤗 You will be cheering for them, not from the sidelines, but from inside the arena.🥳🎉 A super thriller of a ride like this deserves a SEQUEL♥️🩵🧡 Because "Hidden Among Us" is not hidden anymore. It's here, screaming to be read, enjoyed, shared, and debated. Heroes never die. They just reload. "Hidden Among Us" deserves a reload🔥"
A chilling start:
"What a chilling start, after reading the two chapters up I am seeing this come to life. Looking forward to seeing more. The author has done an amazing job with the first two chapters, bringing this story to life. What a mystery need to know more. Development and structure of this is coming on well, really well. With time this will be fantastic💜 💜"
