Forgettable or Familiar
Which one am I?
I always have a fear of abandonment.
Not due to family but due to friends.
I have so many numbers but none text me first. I always reach out first.
The contacts I used to always see on my notifications now lost in the long list of names.
Is it due to being forgettable or being familiar?
I try to keep in contact I always give them attention and my entire efforts.
It feels as though I’m just a railing for the others.
On the stairs of life I’m not always rememberable but I’m a familiar presence to help guide.
The false promises of texting or calling first.
The silence more destructive than the constant bing of notifications. Am I just not that remarkable?
They said that I helped change their life for the better and helped bring joy to it. Maybe I’m just so familiar that I linger in their lives and they remember me when I reach out first. The saying that communication is a two way road is not always true.
I try to be there for everyone but who is really there for me? I have family and a few current friends that are still consistant.
How long will it last though?
The time limit is usually a year and a half.
I watch them grow and then they leave me.
I have less than three that still remain.
It’s not a lot but it helps with the emptiness of my efforts and emotions that the others took with. I’m somehow always in the lives of many, but they are not in my life.
So I question myself again late at night; Am I forgettable or familiar?
