Chapter 1: WHAT IS PEACE?
" What is peace?What, who, where do you regard as your peace? Inspire me"
I twitted on my profile, attached with is the picture of the canvas I dropped beside my bed. The picture of a woman whose head was raised, mouth opened in a frustrating scream that seems to be struck in her throat. Within seconds - as usual - my crazy fans has swam the post with over hundred of likes and reactions. However, it did nothing to quench the void in me. I sighed.
I was a once popular artiste who was pushed into the limelight at the earliest age of eleven. I know, everyone loves my work and cherished the strong purge of emotion from the young kid but then, my mother has forcefully pushed me there for her own benefits. For the money, for the lousy life she so much loved to live. The bright flash lights and the empty noise. All fake.
" Peace is having enough money, spending without looking at the price tag, without calculating how much you have left"
The first comment came and my lip rose in a smirk as many other comments followed. The comment or must have been one poor ass who desperately needed some money. Low points. If it's all about money, why do I still feel this turmoils inside my stomach? I didn't need money.
A sudden crash below the stairs cut down my train of thoughts and my eyes tentatively closed. I took a deep breadth as another one came, this time louder than the first.
Closing my laptop, I rose from my chair and walked out of my room.
Few steps down the steps, I was met with a thick smoke that rose in the air. "Diamonds" by Rihanna blasted through the speakers while my mum's dirty blonde waved to it. Her waist shaking out of tune to the beat.
The smell of the cigar burned down my chest and I coughed. It was then Mama finally noticed me. She turned to me with a grin too wide. My brows raised at her hooded eyes. She's high, I knew it. But I didn't say a word.
"What have you been dd_doing up ther_re in that room?", my mother slurred as I by_passed her.
It's just 9:am in the morning and you're so drunk.
"This is New Orland, my dear. I drink whenever I want."
I hadn't known I said that out loud. I remained silent, walking by the vodka cup she kept on the slab. I went for the coffee Brewer and concentrated on the mug lying on the creamy slab, impatiently waiting for the coffee.
I sniffed the whiff of alcohol before I heard her voice.
"If you're choosing to be a little mute today, you can as well as tell me you've checked the college site this morning"
I sighed. That was the third time she was asking me the same question in twenty four hours.
"I haven't bought the scratch card. It's not free, remember?", I repeated my explanation without turning to her.
"Ohhh..", she exclaimed as if she suddenly remembered. But I knew she didn't. "Have you spoken to Chris? He should be able to help."
I turned sharply to her, anger bristling in me. I opened my mouth to lash at her but I found her back to me, already taking the stairs.
My eyes burned with tears and I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I speak. "Chris and I broke up weeks ago, mum.", my voice shook lightly. "I told you."
"Ugh..", was all she said as she said as she ascend the stairs. "Try selling one of those canvas then. Chaotic or whatever you call 'em"
I gritted my teeth, choosing to remain silent. I've always yell and lash out at her but it never helped. I chose to remain silent.
I had thought she has entered her room when her voice came again. "Check the portal today, Nir."
And I've never hated my name more.
I couldn't wait to make breakfast before I left for Lucy's. I met Lucy at an art exhibition and she has been y friend since then.
I only knocked once before the door became wide opened, and I was left staring at the wide grin on my friend's face.
"He_", Lucy crashed me into a hug before I could finish. A giggle fell from my mouth.
"Oh Nir!", Lucy exclaimed after she heard the latest about my mother. "I'm so sorry I've not been there for you." Her brown doll eyes has lost some of the excitements in them and has now dulled over.
I held her hand and gave her the most assuring smile I could muster.
"Trust me, you couldn't have done more than you do now. You've been helping me, Lucy. I couldn't have coped for the past five years without you.", I told her and I meant it. However, she didn't look so convinced.
"It's just so bad that Kate is like that. I mean, she just changed suddenly."
I smiled. What she doesn't know is that my mum didn't change, she has always being like like that.
Lucy spoke again. "What.. I mean, why don't you pack in here.", she motioned towards her bed.
"You live here with your boyfriend, Lucy." I told her and she closed her eyes as she remembered. As if on cue, Jesse walked into the room with a Nylon in his hand.
"Hey girls!!" He bellowed and we both smiled at him, his long red hair dangling behind him. He dropped the Nylon on our table. "Who want ice_cream?", he sang in a childish and we laughed.
It was unsatisfying but I have to return home. I entered into the house but my mum was nowhere to be found. The kitchen has been messed over and two bottles of tequila laid on the floor.
I have to puff out the burning cigarette on the centre table and closed all the windows. Sometimes I wonder how she'd live once I finally leave for college. And the thought reminded me that I needed to check my admission status.
I went still the moment I stepped into my room. Everything felt off. The picture on my table has been turned upside down and my novels laid scattered on the floor. My bedsheet was neat when I left but it was now rough and crumpled.
Someone has been here.
The second the thought registered, a gasp fell from my mouth and I rushed to the room adjoining mine. I pushed the door opened and I felt my world crumbling down around me. My mouth opened but nothing came out. Someone has been here. My throats tightened and a sob fell from my mouth.
