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A Heart, Body and Mind

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

In the secluded Burg of Bani lies a secret that reaches its claws deep into the system and its workings. Walk alongside Darwin and Marcus as they try their best to find the truth. This story is also published on Royal Road under the_indulgent1

Status
9mo ago
Chapters
10
Rating
4.5 (2 reviews)
Age Rating
18+

Bad Habit

My preparations might not be enough… Marcus thought with a twitching mouth and bleeding left shoulder as he stared into the deep dark tunnel.

As Marcus put away his bloody knife and slowly climbed down the rotting wooden ladder, creaking with each step, he discovered an underground tunnel leading to a turn dimly lit by candles and wafting with a stomach-retching stench that seemed to be a mixture of pig fat and burning meat.

Indeed… These disappearances sure aren’t as simple as just slave trade… Marcus confirmed his fears with a sharp and focused mind caused by the disgusting smell created by the candles.

One of the most simple physical enhancements that an Investigator received was the ability to better see in the dark. Because of this, weak sub type of night vision, and his deeply rich experience Marcus had no need for even a candle.

Whatever it is, it sure is effective at keeping you awake… I haven’t ever smelled something this odd before… he thought, unable to overcome his curiosity, as he approached one of the candles carefully and quietly while holding his shoulder.

And as a lump of fat on the outer surface of the candle melted, it slid down - revealing a grounded lump of meat with hair and nails.

This… Marcus immediately belched his dinner upon seeing the meat as he seemingly recognized it to be of human origins!

W-what in the f*ck is wrong with them!? I am getting too old for this sh*t, right? Hehe… Marcus tried to lampoon, hoping to calm his mind.

But after hearing footsteps that got slightly louder every time, Marcus wiped his mouth and put on a grin; One that got longer every step.

Man, my bad habit sure is acting up today... Marcus thought as he smiled from ear to ear.

Then, he blew out the candles and pulled out his already bloody knife - getting prepared for another fight.

Let the_indulgent know what you thought about this chapter!
Love this

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Love this

Funny

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Funny

Spicy

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Spicy

Suspenseful

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Suspenseful

Emotional

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Emotional

Profound

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Profound

Heartwarming

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Heartwarming

Shocking

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Shocking

Good Writing

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Good Writing

Compelling Plot

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Compelling Plot

Great Character

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Great Character

Strong Dialog

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Strong Dialog

author

A quite promising start. We dive straight into a dark, hostile, and evil setting. The references to disappearances raise questions, and I like the mention of these 'powers.'

My only note is that the narrator's thoughts should be visually distinct (italics or quotes are the most usual I think). This would make it easier for the reader to understand when we are entering their internal monologue.

10 months
1
author

Thanks for the honest review @ccmaker

10 months
1

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