Chapter 1 | That Kiss
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English Boys Love
There were so many people around him. The place was full of shouting, laughter, and camera clicks. Bright lights were pointed everywhere, like it was daytime even though it was already night. There were placards, people taking videos, asking for pictures, and asking for autographs. It felt like a festival, loud and full of happy energy.
But in the middle of all that, there was one person he noticed.
He did not know why, but that man’s presence pulled his attention. It felt like he was close to him, even though they did not know each other. “A successful actor,” people said. But while he looked at him, he felt sadness in the man’s eyes, a heavy feeling that smiles and lights could not hide.
The actor was wearing a black suit, a black cap, and a face mask. It felt like he had a story he wanted to tell, quiet in the middle of a loud world. Then the man looked at him. Their eyes met for one second, but it was enough to make his chest shake. The noise around him disappeared. It felt like they were the only people there.
He quickly looked away. Feeling nervous, he pretended to be busy with his bag when his phone suddenly rang. When he saw his friend’s name on the screen, he was pulled back to reality.
He answered the call right away.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hey! Where are you?!” his friend shouted from the other line. Loud music and laughter could be heard. It even hurt his ears.
“Why are you angry already?” he said, trying to laugh.
“I’m not angry. I’m just bored. We’re waiting for you here,” his friend said. “You’re taking so long. I thought you disappeared.”
“Sorry,” he said right away. “I just got distracted.”
“Distracted?” Lay laughed. “By what? Traffic? Or a handsome guy?”
He made a face. “Lay, stop.”
“Hurry up. Come here before the vibes are gone,” Lay said.
“Okay, I’m on my way,” he replied before ending the call.
He took a deep breath. Before leaving, he looked again at the place where he saw the actor earlier. He hoped the man was still there.
But he was gone.
He disappeared like a bubble. Like everything that happened was just a dream. A strange sadness filled his chest, even though he did not know the man at all.
He shook his head and hurried away. He did not want to think about anything. He had plans. His friends were waiting.
He went straight to the bar where he was meeting them. It was their favorite place because the vibe was different. It was not too fancy, but not cheap either. Just right. Sometimes there was a live band, sometimes a DJ. Most of all, it was where they could forget their problems, even for a short time.
As soon as he entered, loud music and colorful lights welcomed him. The smell of alcohol, perfume, and cigarette smoke mixed in the air. Some people were dancing, some were talking, and some were clearly drunk.
“Finally! Our prince is here!” Sev shouted, putting an arm around him.
“Hey, stop being dramatic,” he said, removing the arm.
“You took so long,” Kit added. “We thought you left us.”
He sat beside them. “Sorry, traffic was bad,” he lied.
“Traffic,” Lay repeated with a grin. “Or a handsome guy distracted you? You took so long to answer earlier.”
“Stop it,” he said. “I’ll just order a drink first.”
He stood up and walked to the counter. While walking, he noticed a very loud table at the side. Men were shouting, laughing, and playing a game. He did not pay much attention.
He ordered a drink. While waiting, he looked again at the noisy table. A man was spinning a bottle. Everyone was watching, waiting to see who it would point to.
He did not know why, but something felt wrong. A strange feeling settled in his chest.
“Here’s your order,” the bartender said.
“Oh, thank you,” he replied and paid.
He was about to leave when someone suddenly stepped in front of him.
He stopped.
The man was handsome, with a sharp nose and gray eyes. He looked foreign, well dressed, and smelled nice. He stood very close, almost too close.
“Excuse me,” the man said. “Can…”
He stopped, like he was unsure.
“Can?” he asked, confused.
The man looked behind him for a second, then back at him. “Can I kiss you?”
He blinked. His mind froze. Before he could answer, lips suddenly pressed against his.
His eyes widened.
He did not know if it was a kiss or something rougher. He could not breathe. He could not move. The world seemed to stop.
Then he realized something.
It was his first kiss.
He came back to his senses and pushed the man hard. When that was not enough, he punched the man’s chest.
“What is wrong with you?!” he shouted, his voice shaking. “Are you playing with me? I’m not someone you can play with!”
The man looked shocked, fear clear on his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “It was part of a game.”
He saw another man walk closer, clearly a friend. They were silent now.
He did not want to hear anything more. He grabbed his drink and ordered another one.
He needed alcohol. He needed to calm down.
Back at the table, he grabbed a tissue and wiped his lips again and again, like he could erase what happened.
“That fucking player,” he said angrily. “He stole my first kiss.”
Lay laughed. “We looked away for one second and you already kissed someone?”
They were teasing him.
“N nothing,” he said quickly. “It was nothing.”
“Sure,” Sev said. “Just drink. Your face says everything.”
He drank one glass after another. He tried to forget.
He did not know how many drinks he had. His body felt light, but his mind was messy. The music felt louder as time passed.
“Slow down,” Lay said, holding his hand. “You might not get home.”
“I’m fine,” he said, even though he was not. “Just a little more.”
Sev shook his head. “That’s what not fine people say.”
He smiled and laughed, but his thoughts kept going back to the kiss. The anger. The shame. And the heavy feeling in his chest.
After a while, Kit stood up to go to the restroom. He stayed behind with the others, quiet, staring at his glass.
Lay noticed. “Are you really okay?” he asked softly.
He nodded. “Yeah. Just shocked.”
Lay said nothing more.
Time passed. People came and left. Everything moved, but he felt stuck.
“I’m going home,” he said suddenly.
They were surprised. “It’s still early,” Sev said.
“I don’t feel it anymore,” he replied. “Sorry.”
Lay nodded. “Do you want us to walk you home?”
“No,” he said. “It’s close.”
He stepped outside. The cool night air felt calming. It was quiet compared to the bar.
As he walked to find a ride, his thoughts returned to earlier. The lights. The cameras. And the actor’s eyes.
It was strange. Someone he did not know, yet someone who stayed in his mind.
Then he saw him again.
Not many lights this time. Just enough to recognize him. The actor was walking toward a van with two staff members, head down, trying not to be noticed.
He told himself to walk away. But he could not move.Then the actor looked up. Their eyes met again. No cameras. No fans. Just the quiet night.
The man’s eyes looked tired. Sad. Real.
He did not look away. It felt like those eyes wanted to say something.
One second passed. Then another. The actor stopped walking.
Before anything could happen, someone called him. He looked away.
The boy turned and walked off, faster this time. Like he was afraid of what his heart was starting to feel.
