Purgatory

Black dripping burning blood trickles down my cheeks, slowly but surely eating away every fragment of sanity I have left. A shroud of sweet smells overpowers my common sense as I reach for the box again. It was clear this box had already caused so much trouble seeing as I was without my toes. Yes I have no toes. I have no feet. Now I lie in this red wet puddle of disgusting impurities. But maybe, I hoped, the cause could fix the problem. My dry raspy throat stung like shards of fiberglass had found their way inside from the dust filled air, so chalky I could hardly see 7 feet in front of me. There was no point in waiting anymore. I took off the wooden lid and pulled out the ancient looking piece of paper. It changed periodically. My eyes skimmed across it thoroughly. It read “ shiny things, plump personas, forever two faced, but I am wraith, dreadful things veiled a shroud of sweet smells, broken chords, beneath the assonance of fate, I don’t belong here, in these lustrous eyes, yet here I am, soulless and solemn, I have no blood, I have no skin, only bones, and shards of envy.” I lay there now stunned from what I’d just read. All I had wished for was to be like people I envy. My skin continued to decay. Wilting, peeling, flaking from my bones drying away. My veins tightened until they snapped like guitar strings, and my fat melted from my body. There was no one that could help me now. Even if I did receive help I already felt dead. I couldn’t even feel anymore at all. “Why!”. I rasped. “Why are you doing this to me?!” In an instant it began to howl. This dreadful box made such horrible sounds. Four humanoid legs ripped through the outer corners bleeding as if they had just been born. Now the air was even more heavy. “Im dying”, I tried to speak but now I couldn’t even whisper. My heart sped up. Faster and faster. “Victoria” an overbearing voice screamed. I jerked viciously. Mrs.Calbert was calling on me in Algebra. “It happened again,” I muttered hopelessly. “What was that?” Mrs Calbert said ferociously. I glanced at the board. “X equals five” I replied, this was met with the response of “very good”. She continued teaching. This horrible cycle continued every 5 hours. Just the same. The world around me would become distorted and consume itself. All of this began the day I turned 14. Many things happened in the past which I suppose served as a trigger for the present. However I never expected an outcome like this. The bell rang. Eighth hour was over, it was time to go home. I was filled with joy. Even in this nightmare I tell myself, “ Celebrate the little things, all of this is just temporary.”As my mother once told me “we all undergo purgatory.” That’s why no one can know. If they find out about my punishment then it may become eternal. Even through this agony I must suffer in silence. I walked to my car. It feels like I’m invisible. The friends I once had all turned their backs on me after “the incident”. As soon as I turned the key I seemed to be in my driveway. Nothing feels real anymore. At this point my only grip on reality is common logic, otherwise everything is dead. “I’m home” I said cheerfully, closing the door behind me. “ Oh great honey you can help me with dinner”, my mother said. She was a witty, astute woman standing at only 4 ‘9 sometimes making me feel 7ft tall. I smiled warmly, returning her kindness. Then it happened again. I temporarily lost my breath. My surroundings became black and hollow. There stood this pale silhouette. The silhouette of occissor, looking back at me. Besides the strange torture that would occur every 5 hours, if I didn’t focus enough I could drift away and lose control of my body. I would then end up in this strange dimension which I began calling the abyss of roses. This space was an endless void of darkness. It felt like a swamp, but warm to touch. The ground was a shallow body made up of warm red wax, sometimes wine, covered in rose petals. In this place I could not smell, but every sound echoed. There were many strange creatures here, but I feared none of them. As it came closer I saw the smoke and black flames radiating from him like body heat. Occissor is here. Now I could see his face, sculpted cheeks, irises that seemed to look through you yet you couldn’t look away, long veiny limbs standing at a remarkable 6’ 8, all framed with raven black hair contrasting everything. He went through the pockets of his black feathery coat and pulled out an apple. Out of every oddity I had witnessed today it left me the most shaken as I watched him eat it in one bite. “Now, now” he began. “ Monstra sumus, veritatem intellegere debes, omnem ungulum, omnem dentem... tu nos creavisti, o mei cari Esetharii, quando memineris?” , he ended with a sigh. Every day he said the same thing. I never knew what it meant besides it was someone dear to him. I hadn’t had much time to study Latin. He stared at me blankly. “Haven’t seen you in a couple days, is everything ok?” I said. I didn’t hate him. He wasn’t the cause of my suffering, he was simply here. Though he controlled this space, he didn’t control my punishments. His eyes shifted. “ The bad creatures—they’re growing in numbers and power. I don’t know how long we can hold them back.” Occissor had told me many times already that the bad creatures wanted to kill me. I used to be scared, now “ I’m not so sure if I would enjoy living”. “Now, now, don’t lose hope so soon. You know very well you only have to remember to succeed in this” he said calmly. There was a moment of silence. “ How am I supposed to remember if I don’t even know what to remember?” I asked, my voice raw and desperate, breaking the thick, warm silence of the abyss. Occissor tilted his head slightly. The black flames radiating from him flared temporarily . He reached into his coat again, this time pulling out a small, glowing key. He didn’t hand it to me; he let it hover in the air between us.

“The physical realm holds clues you have disregarded, Esetharii,” he said, his sculpted features objective. “The mind protects itself, but the body and the world around you remember. Listen to them.” The key vanished. My vision of the abyss began to waver, the warm red wax pulling at my feet. The familiar pull back to reality was starting.