Chapter 2: The Province Of New Shadows
The bus ride to the new province took eleven hours. Eleven hours of watching the landscape change from the familiar hills of home to a flat, industrial grey, eleven hours of listening to everyone in the bus chatting. Andrea leaned her forehead against the cool glass, watching her reflection. She looked younger than eighteen. Her eyes held the "Malick-ache"—a dull, flickering light that comes from being lied to by someone you trusted with your soul.
She started her job. It was repetitive, exhausting work, but she welcomed the tired. If her body was tired, her mind couldn't spin. Avoiding people was difficult to her because she shared a flat with 10 more colleagues, no personal space so she made peace with that. She didn't really know those people besides the aim was to make money and get a promotion by the end of the year, not to make friends or build relationships.
Then she met him, Julian.
Julian didn't have the loud, booming confidence of a DJ. He moved with authority and humility. However, Andrea hated him simply because he stepped on her shoes the first day they met and he didn't even say sorry. He made jokes that she didn't think were funny. Julian had two friends who shared the same humour as him. They would say something stupid and laugh out like hyenas, this annoyed Andrea. He was the tallest guy in the office and one of the best employees. "He might be good at what he does but he has terrible manners and he's a clown. I would never ask a clown to advice me on how to get promoted" she told herself. What Andrea didn't know was that they had something in common, toxic pasts. Finally, Julian gathered up courage to talk to Andrea but she acted cold. Their office had a group chat, Julian took her numbers from the group and texted her.
She hesitated at first but a few days later, they started getting along. Just as things seemed to go well for Julian, his toxic ex came to see him and Andrea bumped into them as she was coming back from the mall. She could feel the cosy atmosphere but there was nothing she could do, Julian wasn't hers. She didn't even say hello, she just wanted to sleep. A part of her was sad but she didn't want to admit it to herself.
Julian came to explain to her that he was just cutting ties with his ex, peacefully. She listened as he explained to her how his toxic relationship with his ex affected him. She finally understood the reason why they got along, whenever they talked, it was like two people speaking a secret language. The language of the "broken." They started talking more, she eventually opened up to him.
She still told herself that she hated him but love didn't care about her rules. As the weeks turned into months, the "hate" dissolved into a desperate, magnetic need. Julian became her sanctuary. When they were together, the pressure from her mother back home felt miles away. The memory of Malick and the ex-bestie became a faint static. Julian was her happy place—the only place where she felt she didn't have to be "perfect." She let him in.
