Prologue
TRIGGER WARNING!!! This chapter contains a graphic depictions of child sexual abuse and may be deeply disturbing. Reader’s discretion is strongly advised. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, please reach out to a trusted support service. You are not alone.
PROLOGUE
Eight years ago…
Her room smelt the same way it always did, old wood and lavender air freshener. That was her mother’s favourite. The lights from the moon streamed through the gaps in the curtains casting faint dancing shadows across the floor. Twelve years old Elsa laid on the bed,small for her age. She curled herself like a foetus pretending that she was asleep.
Her body tensed up immediately when she heard the soft creak of her bedroom door. She tried to think of something to distract herself from the situation she was currently in. She knew that screaming wasn’t an option. It would only make things worse for her.
The mattress dipped slowly on the left side and the air suddenly grew heavy and warm. She pressed her eyes shut when she felt a large calloused hand brushing up and down her skinny leg before settling in the blanket over her hip.
“I know that you’re awake” the intruder whispered,his lips dangerously close to her ears. “I hate it when you pretend to be asleep. It takes all the fun away. Little birdie”
Elsa’s body trembled before a soft sob escaped past her lips. She bit her bottom lips so hard until it bled. She hated it when the sun disappeared because that meant she was closer to being trapped with him at night.
His hand finally continued its journey stopping at the tiny strap of her nightdress. He slowly pushed it down her shoulders pulling it further down until the cool night air kissed her chest, her ribs, her stomach. All Elsa wished for at that moment was for superpower then she’d be able to disappear.
“I don’t want to…” she whispered,her voice cracking. “Please… I don’t want to. It hurts me.”
All she got was a chuckle. “You don’t know what you want. I am an adult and I know what you want. You know that you’re a very beautiful girl, right? Do the boys at school tell you that? Do they touch you?”
She didn’t answer.
She cursed herself for being a coward. All she wanted was for her father to come get her but he was away on a business trip on the other side of the world leaving her in the care of a man he trusts.
The weight shifted again. Her bed, which was only big enough for two little children and not a grown man, creaked under his weight. Putting one knee between her legs,he nudged her thighs apart,one arm running down her hair softly.
“Shhh, don’t cry birdie” he murmured against her ear, his hot breath fanning against her skin. “All the girls do this but you won’t know because everyone keeps it a secret. You’ll only hurt your throat if you keep crying and we don’t want that,do we?”
Tears slipped sideways into her hair. She tasted them on her tongue when she opened her mouth to breathe.
He took a part of her the same way he did whenever he was alone with her. Elsa tried to imagine that she wasn’t in her room, rather she was with her dad trying every sweet treat in the park. A familiar pain shot through her belly spreading up her spine. A soft sob escaped her lips, making him press his salty palm against her face. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be a big girl today but it was difficult with the blinding pain that shot through her.
When it was over, the weight lifted. The mattress rose again. A rough thumb brushed across her wet cheek in a gentle manner.
“Your dad will be back tomorrow.” He said solemnly. “Remember this is between us. I’ll hurt you and your father if you tell anyone. Don’t forget that every girl does this, even your friends at school.”
With that he left her room,the door clicking shut.
Elsa stayed curled on her side, knees to chest, nightdress still bunched around her waist. The moon had disappeared behind the dark clouds leaving her in the darkness. She stared blankly at her dark ceiling until she finally stopped shaking and the warmth between her legs turned sticky.
She wanted to wash herself but she had no single strength left in her anymore.
At least tomorrow she would finally be with her father and the bad man would leave her alone for now.ū
