Chapter 1
I know it’s all over.
Being away from you feels like
a child deprived of games—
like falling down a mountain, and no one is the to save me.
If I had known,
if someone had warned me
that love feels like this,
I would have closed my heart.
Now you’re gone,
yet still within my presence.
I watched you leave.
I let you go.
I turned back first.
I was the traitor.
I never said goodbye.
I refused to hug you.
And only now do I realize
what I was missing.
But I got a chance to love you.
I got a chance to feel you.
I got a chance to know
what it’s like to have butterflies in my stomach.
I got a chance to laugh with you.
To tease you.
I will never forget how you felt,
how your smile looked.
Even our fights—
they were my favorite.
I never told you,
but I loved you.
I pushed you away
because my life was messy,
but I loved you
with everything I had.
Now we are only a hundred meters apart,
yet it feels like a lifetime.
And I still love you.
I don’t know if you ever loved me,
but I know
I got a chance to love you.
If I could go back,
I would.
I would tell you how I felt.
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever wonder how I’m doing?
I know you must have passed by my old house.
People probably told you I’m gone.
You must have wondered where I am.
Don’t worry—
I’m away for good.
You loved me.
I loved you too.
We were just too shy
to realize it.
But still,
we got a chance to love each other.
It was you.
It has always been you.
Because of you,
I’m scared to love again.
What if I don’t confess my next feelings
and they disappear too?
Loving you was a gift.
Knowing you was a blessing.
You healed a heart
that never knew it was broken.
How could I ever forget you?
I carry you in my heart.
I don’t think I’ll ever love another
the way I loved you.
But if we ever meet again,
I want you to know this:
Loving you
was the best thing
that ever happened to my heart.
I got a chance to love you.
