1. Alexandra
Run.
The word is a mechanical rhythm in my skull, the only thing keeping my legs moving when my lungs are screaming for mercy.
Run. Run. Run.
Faster—dammit, Lex, faster.
Of course this is happening. My life has always been a long string of bad decisions, but this—this is the one that gets me buried in a shallow grave in a country that doesn’t even know my real middle name.
“Alexandra—stop! Get back here right now!”
The voice behind me isn’t just angry; it’s entitled. It’s the sound of a man who has never been told no. Panic claws at my throat, thick and tasting like copper. I can’t go back to campus. If I head for the dorms, he’ll corner me in a hallway where the RA is wearing headphones and the security cameras are “under maintenance.”
God, I’m an idiot. How did I not see this coming?
I sprint as if my life depends on it—because it does. Because if he catches me, he’ll kill me. But not before he makes me beg for the end.
I’ve been weaving through these narrow, crumbling streets for what feels like an hour. My internal clock is shattered. Is it twenty minutes? Thirty? Every turn I take to lose him only plunges me deeper into a part of town that doesn’t exist on the university’s glossy welcome map. I’ve only lived in this godforsaken place for three weeks, long enough to realize I should have stayed in Denmark. Long enough to realize I’ve traded one cage for a much more dangerous one.
Footsteps pound the pavement behind me. Heavy. Rhythmic. Gaining.
I can’t keep this up. I’m not an athlete; I’m a UX designer who spends her life hunched over a backlit screen. My legs are shaking, my chest is a cage of fire, and I need a hole to crawl into. Now.
The scenery is a blurring smear of rusted corrugated metal, chain-link fences, and flickering yellow streetlights that hum with the sound of dying flies. Industrial. Desolate. There are no houses here. No porches with rocking chairs. No neighbors to wake up.
Great job, Lex. You picked the one neighborhood where the shadows swallow the screams.
I risk a glance over my shoulder.
The distance has shrunk. I can see the sweat on his brow, the flat, predatory gloss in his eyes. He looks at me and smiles—a knowing, sickening expression that makes my stomach flip into my throat.
“Fuck,” I wheeze. My vision is starting to go grey at the edges.
“If you don’t stop right now,” he calls out, his voice terrifyingly calm, “this is going to end very badly for you, Alexandra.”
I veer right. Then left. I’m not even looking for a street anymore; I’m looking for an ending. I turn a final corner, my lungs rattling in my chest, and then I see it.
A bar.
Relief slams into me so hard it almost sweeps my feet out from under me. It’s a low, sprawling building of stained concrete. Motorcycles line the front like a row of sleeping beasts—at least ten of them, all chrome and heavy steel glinting under the harsh buzz of a neon sign.
The sign is a broken halo.
Three massive men stand near the entrance, wreathed in a cloud of blue cigarette smoke. They look like they were carved out of granite and dressed in weathered leather. They’re intimidating as hell.
I run toward them anyway. Whatever they are, they can’t be worse than him.
My knees hit the asphalt three feet from the door. The impact sends a jolt of white-hot pain up my spine, but I don’t stop. I scramble forward on my hands and knees.
“Please—help me.”
The words tear out of me, broken and jagged. I can’t even look at them. I’m too busy trying to disappear. I use the last of my strength to crawl between the motorcycles, curling into a ball in the grease-stained shadows, praying the steel frames are enough to hide me.
My heart is beating so loud I’m sure the entire block can hear it.
Don’t cry. Don’t make a sound.
A hand lands on my shoulder.
I let out a strangled yelp, flinching so hard my head cracks against a chrome handlebar. Stars explode across my vision.
“Hey—hey. You’re okay.”
I look up, squinting through the pain. It isn’t one of the giants. A woman is kneeling in the dirt in front of me. She’s small, with dark hair escaping a messy bun and eyes that look... worried? No, not just worried. Focused.
Her features are soft but not delicate—the kind of face shaped by long shifts and real-world weight rather than expensive skincare. She doesn’t look like a threat.
I break. The first sob hitches in my chest, rib-cracking and violent.
“He’s—he was right there,” I whisper, pointing a trembling hand toward the street.
The woman’s face goes from soft to granite in a heartbeat. She glances toward the road, her eyes narrowing as she scans the shadows where I just was. Then she looks back at me, her grip on my arm firming up.
“Come with me. Right now.”
She pulls me up. I’m a ragdoll in her hands, my legs barely articulating as she drags me through the heavy wooden doors. We hit a wall of dark, thrumming heat—the smell of hops, leather, and loud, distorted bass. I catch one glimpse of a shadow rounding the corner outside—a familiar, frantic shape—before the door slams shut.
The sound of the deadbolt sliding home is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.
The woman doesn’t slow down. She maneuvers me through the crowded, dim bar, ignoring the curious stares of the men in denim and leather. We move down a narrow hallway until she kicks open a door to a small, surprisingly clean infirmary. It looks like a GP’s office if the GP lived in a garage.
She hoists me onto the examination table. The paper crinkles under me—a sharp, domestic sound that feels absurdly out of place.
Then, the adrenaline crashes.
It doesn’t just leave; it takes my oxygen with it. My vision tunnels until the room is just a pinprick of light. My chest tightens, the muscles locking down, refusing to let air into my lungs. Time stops making sense.
“Breathe,” the woman says. Her voice is distant, like she’s calling to me from the bottom of a well. “You’re safe, honey. Look at me. You’re okay.”
I shake my head, my hands clawing at the edge of the table. I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay again.
“I’m Ella,” she says, her voice steadying. “What’s your name?”
A knock sounds at the door before I can answer—before I can even remember who I am.
“Not now!” Ella snaps toward the door.
The room blurs. I’m dimly aware of someone else entering. A heavy presence. The air in the room seems to shift, displaced by someone who takes up more than his fair share of space. I can’t look up. I’m too busy trying to keep my lungs from collapsing.
This is it. This is where I die.
Then—hands take mine.
They’re huge. Calloused. Warm. They don’t grab; they simply encompass my shaking fingers, grounding them against the table. The fear doesn’t vanish, but it stops spinning.
I force my head up.
The bluest eyes I’ve ever seen are watching me. They aren’t “pretty” blue; they’re the color of a mid-winter sky—cold, vast, and terrifyingly calm.
“Breathe,” he says.
It’s not a suggestion. It’s a command, delivered in a low, gravelly baritone that vibrates in the center of my chest. It’s a voice I instinctively want to obey.
In through the nose.
Out through the mouth.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, his gaze locked on mine. He doesn’t look away, not even to acknowledge Ella or the massive tattooed man now standing guard at the door. “Good girl. Keep doing that.”
My lungs finally expand, taking in a shaky, jagged breath that actually reaches the bottom of my ribs.
“You’re having a panic attack,” he continues, his voice level and clinical, yet somehow intimate. “The world isn’t ending. Your brain is just lying to you. Look around and name five things you can see.”
I swallow hard, my throat feeling like it’s lined with sandpaper. I force my eyes to move.
“Door,” I croak. “Table. Computer.”
“Two more,” he prompts.
“People.” I gesture weakly toward Ella and the man at the door. Both of them are watching me like I’m a piece of cracked porcelain they’re afraid to breathe on.
He follows my gaze and gives a small, sharp nod. “Good. Stay with me. What’s the fifth?”
I look back at him. My vision is clearing, and the details of his face are starting to sharpen. The stubble along a hard jaw. And those eyes.
“Blue eyes,” I whisper.
A slow, devastating smile spreads across his face. Dimples appear—deep, unexpected rifts in his cheeks that feel like they should be illegal on a man who looks this dangerous.
“Now four things you can touch.”
“My hands are in yours,” I say, my voice trembling. “You.”
He lets go reluctantly, as if testing to see if I’ll float away. I reach out, my fingers skimming the surfaces. “The table. The pillow. My... my jeans.”
“You’re doing great,” he says, and I can hear a note of genuine pride in his voice. He takes my hands again, his grip firm. “Three things you can hear.”
“Your voice.” I feel a hot flush creep up my neck. I look away, embarrassed by how much I’m leaning on a stranger. “The music from the bar. The computer humming.”
“Two things you can smell.”
I inhale, searching the air. “Alcohol.” I take a deeper breath, catching something else on him—something like ozone and sun-warmed pavement. “Summer.”
He blinks, the steady mask of his face flickering for a second. He wasn’t expecting that.
“One thing you can taste.”
“Tears.”
And that’s the end of my rope.
The dam bursts. Without a word, he leans forward and pulls me into his chest. He wraps his arms around me in a hug so tight it feels like he’s trying to fuse my broken pieces back together by sheer force of will.
It should feel wrong. I just ran from a man. I should be flinching, screaming, fighting to get away from the scent of leather and the solid weight of a male body.
But I don’t.
My body melts into him like it’s been waiting for this specific anchor. He isn’t cornering me; he’s shielding me. He isn’t taking; he’s providing. My instincts, which have been screaming red alert for the last hour, suddenly go quiet.
I cling to him, burying my face in the cool leather of his vest, breathing him in until my heart rate finally syncs with the steady, heavy thud of his. He doesn’t move. He just holds me up because he knows my legs won’t.
When I finally pull back, my eyes are burning, but the tunnel vision is gone.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
His hands linger on my arms for a beat too long. A strange, heavy tension vibrates between us—a frequency I don’t recognize but feel in every nerve ending.
He doesn’t know my name. I don’t know if I’m even safe in this building.
But I know this—my life just split into before him and after him.









I loved this book i started with a different book on here but it wasnt as good and i didnt know what was happening but in this book i actually understood what was happening and was actually interested in continuing reading the book 100% finishing this book
I love how you wrote the come down process of the panic attack. This is exactly how my I learned it in therapy emotional 🤧
lovely 😍