Bread and Butter (Lesbian Novella)

They say that the bakery at the heart of the city is legendary for its mouthwatering bread, melt on the tongue pastries, and coffee that taste like cherished memories. La Frigola, an unassuming building with frosted windows and comfortable booths that feels intimate. Smiling staff, clean floors, warm air scented with freshly baked goods and house blended coffee. An atmosphere that feels too enticing to be real, like a fairytale in the middle of this nightmare of a city.

Beyond the tempting display cases that capture the heart and secures the wallets, and the fresh faces of the employees behind the counter, lies well maintained wooden floors, beautiful wooden countertops that have known the taste of butter, flour, sugar and eggs. And further still, past the racks of bread, the walk-in refrigerators, coolers, and lockers for the staff... is her office.

The boss.

Miss Eve.

Never without her white button up shirt, neatly tucked into her pressed black pants. Her dark hair held tightly in a bun, allowing for no mishaps in her pristine environment. A voice that never needs to be raised, and yet still commands absolute obedience. And her eyes, eyes that can spot the smallest error, pick up on the tiniest change of expression, and cut you down without so much as a drop of mercy. Because when it comes to her, there is no mercy. What she gives, no one can compare to... And what she takes, is by pure power and skill alone.

Her strong hands are soft from years of being condition by the very goods that brought her fame. Her arms, often hidden by the long sleeves of her shirt, conceal a strength that could make a gymnast blush. She tall, she walkes with power and authority. Her word is final, and her command is absolute. She will not tolerate frequent mistakes, laziness, or disobedience of any kind. Which leads me to now, right now.

Her office, much like the rest of the bakery, is clean, tidy with no chaos to be seen. A dark wooden desk that looks to be older than my parents, yet kept polished to the point of shining, sat between us. Nervously, I figited as she silently wrote something down, she hadn't said a single word to me besides "Sit" since I was called into her office. Her dark eyes as steely as the mixer bowls that dough rises in. I held my breath, waiting for the punishment, the firing, the dismissal i knew was coming. But i was rewarded with silence as she wrote. Occasionally, her eyes snapped to mine like a rubber band snapping against my skin. Those eyes could dissect an entire religion, and identify its disease. My heart jumped in fear, but nothing happens. She continued writing as if i wasn't worth the bother.

The trembling of my limbs increased as the clock on the wall continued to tick bye. She seemed driven and relaxed, the complete opposite to the bundle of nerves racing though my body. I never thought I'd get this job, didn't even believe it when her assistant offered me a position. Still couldn't believe my luck when i was given a white shirt and scheduled into the shifts... I shouldn't have been given the job. I had no experience, little education and a track record mediocrity. I felt special for the chance, even if it shouldn't have been mine.

Again her eyes snapped to mine as she lowered the pen in her hand, i froze, fear heightened. I felt held in place, trapped by her unwavering gaze. Her movements were as precise and graceful as when she's forming the dough into its perfect shape. An art I've learned to admire, and even adore. She sat up, her strong shoulders were relaxed, she was a commander of an army, but still found peace within herself.

Her eyes drifted over me, a shiver trembled through me, i felt utterly exposed by her. The danger and control that seeps from her being, the raw power of her presence. I want to be near it, taste it... Surrender to it. "Alexis, do you know why I called you in here?" It wasn't just a question from full, dark lips that could entice the pope. It wasn't just a voice as saucy as it was demanding. It was a threat, one wrong word, one lie or misrepresentation could end my time here. She demands honesty. I swallowed past the lump in my throat as i tried to sit straighter. Hoping to appear less terrified... Failing, obviously.

"I- did I mess something up again?" i wanted my voice to be strong, but what left my lips sounded more like a convict facing a judge. She leaned back, observing me with no expression.

"You're my weakest link, Lexi." Her simple words shook me, i immediately bit my bottom lip to hide the trembling of it and hoping the pain can hide the tears. "You've been working here for two months already and you don't seem to have grasped even the very basics of baking. Baking is an art, a science, a language onto itself. As far as I can tell, you're unable to speak it." My heart painfully throbbed in my chest as tears threatened to fall. I looked down at my lap, ready for the axe. "Look at me" i looked at her, fighting not to bow my head. Her cold eyes watched me closely, her lips parted for a moment as if in thought. "Do you enjoy self sabotage, Alexis?" Her question through me off.

"Wha- what?" i felt completely blindsided by that. What does she mean? Her lips curved up, a smile danced at the edges of her mouth.

"You're smart, crafty, capable of quick problem solving and you appear to be fascinated by the job. And yet, like a villain intentionally leaving clues so the cops can find them, you do dumb, unnecessary things." I sat with my mouth open, not believing her words. "This is the third time this month that you have sat in that chair, shaking like a leaf. Did you think i wouldn't notice?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to say." She rose from her seat, the leather of her chair creaking as she stood. She walked around the desk, not towards me, but to a wet bar to the side. She pourd herself something brown in color and took a slow deliberate sip, before she faced me.

"Are you sure?" i bit my tongue, afraid of being seen... Afraid of wanting to be seen by her. "Each offense is small, you never repeat them. Things that common sense would easily overrule... And yet you make them. Then you sit in that chair, trembling, biting your bottom lip until it's completely red and swollen. All the while you watch me, every day... Constantly watching." My eyes widened as a knowing smirk touched her lips. All of a sudden, the warm leather chair beneath me felt like it was swallowing me whole. She knows. She can't know!

"I- it's just... That's not-" each attempt to defend myself fell like silverware to the ground. She knows... Or at least suspects. I could hear my heartbeat rushing in my ears as she sat her glass down and approached me.

"Then enlighten me... Lexi." she drew out my name, almost like a tease, but she approached like a predator on the hunt. Her movement was certain, her eyes held me captive in a chair that now felt too big for me. I played with fire, i got caught.

No words could absolve me from the game, the play i tried to carefully orchestrate in the shadows of my mind. The woman who stood as the star of my show, now stood as the threat on my soul. Gripping the armrest, i tried to remain calm. She stopped in front of me, leaning down to get a closer look. I opened my mouth to find an explanation that could cover the truth, but nothing came to mind, and she knows it. She slowly shook her head, standing straight.

"How should i deal with such disobedience? In my shop, my home.." Her voice slid over my skin like silk, goose bumbs blooming on my exposed arms. I tried to focus on her words, but my eyes feel to her lips. "I see." i jumped, feeling caught once again as she turned her back to me and walked back around the desk. "You seem to have a listening problem too, I'll add that to the list." I bit the inside of my cheek, uncertain of what happens next.

She sat back down, lacing her fingers together as she watched me intensely. "You have a problem, Alexis..."

"Are you going to fire me?" i asked quickly, too rushed.

"Should I?" I shook my head 'no' but didn't feel it.

"Tell you what, let's be honest with each other. If you admit to me why you're doing things to end up in that chair. Then I'll be honest and won't fire you." It sounded reasonable... But if I'm honest, then she'll definitely fire me.

"Do you promise?" i asked quietly. A single dark eyebrow rose on her beautiful face.

"My word is my promise, i don't break my word." Relieved , I let out a shaky breath.

"Okay... Um... I don't know how to say it, but I-" i looked away from her, then squeezed my eyes shut as the words began to vomit from my lips. "I want to be near you. I feel so distant from you, and I thought that if i just did a few small things, i could get closer to you. But each time, each time i forget what I rehearsed I'd say. I can't speak, I lose my composure when you look at me." i fisted my hands in my lap, i feel so vulnerable.

"You're like this beacon of power and dominance, and i don't know why I want it so bad... But i do. I want it, i want you. I want you enough to get fired just for a chance to sit near you, to be scolded by you. I- I..." My tongue stopped working, my mind a fire of regret. I know she said she wouldn't fire me, but I'd fire me. What I've done is completely irrational.

I fell silent, the only sound was my rushed breathing and the loud pounding of my heart in my ears. The silence grew heavy, suffocatingly so. I slowly opened my eyes to look at her. Her eyes were cold, cold enough to make me shiver. She said nothing, her face as unreadable as a book burned. Under the weight of silence, i finally tore my eyes from hers, the answer I needed was clear.

"You may go" her chilly dismal burned my skin, i nodded slowly, tears on the edge of falling. I rose from my seat and walked to the door, resting my hand on the cold metal of the door nob. Feeling bold now that i have nothing left here, i spoke.

"For what its worth, i really liked working here. I know i acted like a school girl, and I appreciate you being kind about it. You're a great boss, even if you're completely terrifying. I really enjoyed it, thank you." My voice cracked, i swallowed hard and twisted the nob.

"As punishment for your behavior, you will work the graveyard shift for two weeks. You will be at my door at 2:30am on the dot and if you are late even by a second without a damn good excuse, then don't bother showing up at all." I spun on the heels of my feet and faced her.

"You're not firing me?!" I yelled in shocked excitement, in response only one elegant eyebrow rose on her forehead. I grinned brightly, not believing my luck.

"I'll be here on time, I promise!" Again, she didn't respond, but I felt it. A shift in her gaze, a moment of pure observation that glinted in her eyes. I turned around quickly and fled, just incase she changed her mind. Graveyard, I can do it! I stopped in the hallway as a realization hit me like a brick.

Wait... Won't that mean I'd be completely alone with her?