Chapter 1
Last night they fought. She ran away in the pouring rain. This fight was different, this fight hurt. It felt like what heartbreak would feel like in real life.
He shaded the perfect rounded parts of her cheeks with a deep tan pencil, adding the finishing touches to yet another image that was burned into his mind. The rain poured down on her, hiding her tears. Every night for as long as he could remember, the dream girl would haunt his dreams. Every dream was like a replay of a memory he never experienced; a time period he didn’t recognize. She grew as he grew. She was younger than him, maybe about three years. First, he was like a big brother in a role he had no control over, but as time passed for him it passed for her. Her beautiful dark tightly curled hair against her smooth latte skin now a woman. It was like being in a television show through the eyes of one of the main characters; the dreams were so vivid he could draw the scenes when he woke up with perfect detail. The unfamiliar streets; the clothing from another time; the classic cars. They weren’t his but she was his. Bianca was his. And he always welcomed the deep REM sleep that would bring her back to him every night, and every night it was always different. Like a lifetime of shows for him to live through again. Getting to know her quirky laugh, her big smile, and the softness of her lips on his. His fingers interlocked with hers. She was different, he had known that through the two decades she had inhabited his dreams. She was fiercely intelligent, a doctor maybe or studying to be one. She was always creating a remedy for something. She was outspoken and he could feel the frustration he sometimes felt through this character he played. How she let him lead but she wanted to be his equal. And he would let her; sometimes exacerbated by her strong will. But he also felt that was what he loved most about her; she was going to stand on things she was sure of.
He felt the sting of tears prickling his eyes, fearing what tonight would bring. Did he lose someone that didn’t even exist? Would he be in an empty space in his mind, hoping she would forgive him? He turned and looked out of his sprawling office window. She wasn’t real, he kept repeating to himself. He had been seeing a therapist regularly until college about her, trying to reconcile her imaginary existence but at some point there was nothing to blame it on. No trauma, no parental issues, no mental illness. Pull it together, he told himself. But he was falling apart at that moment with uncertainty.
He pulled away from the pain he was feeling to prepare for a new hire. A welcomed distraction from her. He was waiting to meet his new executive assistant. She was a biochemistry master’s student getting a feel for what type of company she eventually wanted to work for. Since he was the only executive at his father’s company without someone helping manage his day to day, his father hired someone to ensure he wasn’t inconveniencing people on how he operated, but also ensuring he always had a pipeline of the top talent. He closed his eyes and thought of her face one more time before opening the resume that was sent to him. He had to at least peruse it and have a decent knowledge of her background.
“Bianca Coltilde Hastings...”
He smirked for a moment at the coincidence in her name being Bianca. It was a common name nonetheless and he thought nothing of it. Her focus was on the neurology of memories and how different natural medicines could preserve those memories or stimulate forgotten ones. She was only 21, finishing her bachelor’s in biochemistry at 19. He was impressed and he was sure he could persuade her into one of the research positions after she graduated. He read parts of her thesis, “Memories in a Bottle” and something about her writing struck a part of him that he only recognized in his sleep. As he got lost in her words, his phone rang. His “fiance” for all intents and purposes.
“Hey babe, what do you need? I’m preparing for a meeting,” he said sweetly.
“Just reminding you we have that charity event with your parents on Friday. Don’t forget to have your suit picked up from the cleaners.” She said matter-of-factually over the phone. It was her favorite suit. The one she felt elevated him and prepared him for his father’s position.
“Yes I know. I’ll have my new assistant pick it up. Let me go though, I only have a few minutes.” He said as he hung up without an I love you or endearing send off.
When he proposed to Bethany it was because that’s what he thought he was supposed to do. He thought his father was hinting at legacy and needing someone to carry that on after him. Yet his parents were unimpressed by her. But as he thought about it, she wasn’t impressive in anything but managing his daily life and that was a stretch. He met her in college, he knew she was probably there to meet someone to take care of her. Her mother was a kept woman. Her father seemingly impressed upon her to be the same. At the time, Stephen thought that’s what he needed. Someone to delegate and hold it together. She was attractive, sure and he did care about her. Yet for a time she was just a needle in the haystack of women to numb the fact that love wasn’t a dream or a fairy tale. He was in love with someone who didn’t exist, a person he truly could never have. So settling made sense. It was better than chasing a ghost.
He looked at the drawing one more time and he shook his head at his thoughts. As he was about to get lost in Bianca's paper once again there was a knock on his door. She was here. His heart picked up speed, and he couldn't place why.
“Come in,” he said as he shuffled his sketchbook into his drawer and stood up.
His father stepped in first then behind him she filed in. He had never had the breath knocked out of him but he imagined this is what it felt like. He pinched himself hard, trying to make sure he hadn’t passed out and was dreaming.
“Stephen, this is Bianca. Your new assistant. Her father and I go way back. We both agreed that this is just the stepping stone she needs for her career as a research chemist. Bianca, this is my son, Stephen. He is the executive vice president of medical research and funding.”
He couldn’t breathe. He refused to believe it was reality. That the girl of his dreams would be standing right in front him. He locked his deep hazel eyes with her deep brown eyes, the same eyes from the girl in his dreams. He reached out his hand mechanically, lost in whether he was in the present.
