Messages I’m Unable To Send

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Summary

What if everything you wanted to say was a Message that couldn't ever be delivered? That's how life is everyday for Haneul an eighteen year old living in Busan Korea. She suffers from selective mutism, and can't verbally communicate with others due to abuse in her early childhood. Known as a "robot" in school, no one knows about her condition and she longs for connection, things take a turn for the better when she teams up with a boy her age online called "Polar Bear" this is the first real connection she has even if it's just online, through text and has someone to look forward to talking to. Only for it to end in a year later with him ghosting her, without notice. Now a year later she's left solely focusing on her studies, staying away from others to avoid getting hurt. This wont last long when she becomes in debt to a boy in her class, who asks for just one thing, saying he'll do anything for her in return.

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
12
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
16+

Delivered

The raindrops fell fast, and this caused a distinct smell of wet wood. I noticed classmates around me laughing and smiling while I was just stuck here. Shared umbrellas, inside jokes, talking, just enjoying each other’s presence. Something that’s so easy for others but seems impossible for me.

Everything I want to say is a draft of a message I’m unable to send. I plan out everything I want to say in my head, but no words could escape from my mouth. I’m left speechless. My heart opened, mouth closed.

I didn’t bring an umbrella or a jacket, but a part of me didn’t mind getting soaked, like getting drenched in sadness. I took a couple of steps from the school, expecting to feel the rain hit me, but I felt something over me stopping the rain from falling on me. I looked up, noticing an umbrella. A Hello Kitty umbrella?

The umbrella was covering the person’s face, leaving just their school uniform visible.

“I brought this umbrella by mistake; it’s my little sister’s. You look like you need it more. My home is not too far from here,” he said casually.

He brought the umbrella towards me. I took a glimpse at his face and noticed he had a black mask on and wavy hair. I quickly looked down and grabbed the umbrella.

“Thank you,” I said.

I put my hand on my mouth. I spoke? Wait, did I just say thank you? Before I could stop him, he had already run off. I only caught a glimpse of his back.

I looked up at the umbrella. I have to return this to him. The first time I was able to send the message, not just write a draft. Thank you. The first word I’ve spoken in 10 years.

Thank you.