1.
They walked down the aisle, smiles lighting up their faces. Even their eyes gleamed with joy, reflecting the kind of happiness that only love can bring. Their hands were intertwined, a soft glow of warmth surrounding them as they stepped out of the chapel. Rice fluttered through the air, bubbles from the children's wands shimmered around them, and laughter rang out as guests cheered and clapped. Hand in hand, their steps moved in perfect rhythm as they walked toward the car. Photographers scrambled to capture the final shot before the engine started. Their parents called out blessings and good luck wishes, blowing kisses that floated on the breeze. Now, they’re off, the car rumbles when the engine is turned on then the car rolls away, disappearing into a sunset painted in shades of purple and pink- colors that spoke of love and of promise. And so, they lived happily ever after. The End.
Or at least, that’s how their story went.
Mine was different.
They say there’s someone for everyone, that no matter where you look, how high you reach, or how deep you search, your someone will appear. But what happens when your someone now belongs to someone else? How does fate fix that kind of mistake if destiny is already written in the stars? How do you rewrite a story that’s been set in stone?
The truth is, I loved him. Always have, and I suppose, always will. But I’m not the kind of person who chases what isn’t mine. So, I washed my hands of it, whispered my congratulations, wiped my tears, and told myself to let go.
I was invited to the wedding, but I couldn’t go. How could I? That would’ve been too cruel, even for me. I know for a fact that sending an invitation was his father’s doing, what a kind man and wondering how he is doing. Still, I couldn’t walk inside that chapel. Instead, I parked across the street and watched. Saw how He fidgeted in his suit while his mother fixed his tie. The sight was bittersweet, so beautiful that it almost hurt. I had imagined that moment for myself once. But there I was, on the outside looking in, while someone else took my place. He looked up and then he finally walked inside, I started my car and drove away, thinking - did he see me? I could feel my heartbeat beating out of my chest. Thinking…
His mother had won.
I remember asking him once, after one of her sharp words cut through me during dinner. I asked the question I had avoided for so long, “If it came down to it, would you choose me or her?” He looked at me, dumfounded as if his ears couldn’t believe what they just heard. Tears started to spring up in his eyes, his mouth went quiet and then I knew but I wanted to hear it. He told me the truth. He couldn’t go against his mother. His father stayed quiet, as always. But his mother had already made her decision. She didn’t want me and it didn’t matter how long we were together for. She had someone else in mind - her business partner’s daughter and his childhood best friend. The girl who had moved abroad years ago to study, and who had just returned. It had all been planned, and I was merely the placeholder until she came back.
I wasn’t chosen.
He kept his promise to his mother, not to me, even though he promised me that night, the night he proposed. That he will love me forever and if I could make him the happiest man in the world by marrying him. And to think he never loved that girl the way he loved me, but now, she is the one who walked down the aisle in white. We were the right person for each but wrong time I guess, if only he had a spine to stand with.
Years later, I saw a quote that stayed with me: “Anything you do to survive is brave, and she’s hiding to survive, so she is brave.” I read it on the side of a bus stop while holding my luggage. The newlyweds had left for their honeymoon that right after the reception , and I was leaving too. I couldn’t bear to stay in that town filled with memories and whispers from everyone. My reflection stared back at me in the glass, eyes tired, makeup smudged, hair undone. That quote made me realize something: peace isn’t about holding on, it’s about letting go.
To breathe freely, you have to release what weighs you down. But breathing on your own is terrifying, it means taking off the mask, facing the pain, and trusting that you’ll still survive without them. Not everyone can do that. Most people don’t even try. But I wanted to. I had to.
My parents had been married for decades, still teasing each other like teenagers. Watching them made me believe that love like that existed. Maybe someday, I could find it again too. But even as I built a new life, I never forgot him but will try. He was my first everything- my first love, my first heartbreak, my almost forever and now he is my what could have been.
However, some nights, when the sky turns purple and pink again, I still think of that car driving into the sunset, and how, once upon a time, it could have been us.
