Chapter 1
The quiet is the hardest part. It isn't a peaceful quiet but a silence that tastes of abondonment. My parents have just left for their weekly social engagement, a parade of perfomance and polite smiles, that they had, over the years, perfected. My own part in it had ended an hour ago and now all that is left is the lingering, electric ghost of a life i have just left. My chest aches with it - a physical grief. Coming down from a daydream feels like severing off a limb - a pain that is impossible to explain.
"Comment allez-vous, Amore Cadanza", they would ask when they return. My heart would feel a little tender, a little bruised but my answer would be ready: "Très bien , merci". It was the perfect line. They wouldn't see the tears on the back of my eyelids and the way my hands were shaking. They only ever saw the perfomance and never the aftermath.
Its quarter past midnight and the mansion is eerily quiet. Before I undressed for bed tonight, I spent some time simply gazing out at the moonlight, rocking myself on the swing and dreaming. Now, I am laying in bed, wide awake, staring at the balcony. I left the door open to air the place out. The moonlight casts ominous shadows in the balcony and sometimes my swing creaks, causing my heart to beat violently. It is not that I find the mansion in any way 'creepy'. It is just that, as it now suddenly occurs to me, this is the first time in my life I have stayed home alone at night. And I am not really alone though. There are guards patrolling the grounds and there are the servants too.
But the room across the hall is empty. It's my parents and they have gone to the states. It's just that they never left me alone at home, especially at night, not because they cared about me but because they never trusted me.
I swing my legs over the side of my bed and walk to the balcony. The moon is shining bright white and bright stars swirl through the sky. I lean forward, the cool night air caressing my cheeks. My silk nightgown rustles and my hair float behind me like a dark halo.
My last conscious thought slips away and the dream takes over
