You're Early
Theo didn’t knock. The doorknob turned smoothly before he suddenly appeared, filling my apartment with his presence as if he had always been unavoidable. His eyes locked on mine instantly, dark and intense, as if he had anticipated this moment. “You’re early,” I said as I approached him near the door.
“Barely,” he replied. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” I didn’t respond because my body had already reacted. I instinctively stepped back, and he followed, the door closing with a sharp click that made my pulse race.
Theo’s gaze moved over me slowly, not hungry, not rushed, just thorough. It felt like being read, as if every small reaction were noticed and filed away, tightening my chest with the weight of unspoken feelings. “You look tense,” he said.
“You walked in ten minutes early.”
“That’s not what I meant.” His hand settled at my waist as if it belonged there, fingers warm, confident, familiar. My breath caught, sharp and traitorous, and his eyes flicked to my mouth as if he’d felt it too, the thing I’d been pushing down for the past few days. “Don’t,” he said.
“Don’t what?” I asked quietly.
“Act as if this doesn’t affect you,” he said, with a subtle smile that wasn’t smug or teasing. “Because, Lori, everything about you affects me.”
My back hit the door before I even noticed I was moving. Theo followed closely but gently, one arm resting beside my head and the other still at my waist, as if holding me steady.
“This was supposed to be simple, Theo,” I whispered.
He leaned in softly, his breath gentle against my cheek. “It was never with you,” he whispered, his voice trembling with unspoken emotion.
I should have pushed him back, stood my ground. I should have reminded him of the rules, of the neat little boxes this was supposed to stay in. Instead, my hands rose tremulously to his chest, palms flat, as if I needed proof he was real, as if that might make everything feel the slightest bit safer. “We said no feeling and no falling,” I whispered, voice trembling.
His eyes were fixed on mine with a smile. “Oh, I’m not.” He paused, a thick silence full of unspoken emotions, tightening my stomach with fear of crossing an irreversible line. “Are you?” he challenged.
I averted my gaze first, my jaw clenched. Theo’s hand on my waist tensed slightly, not to pull me close but to steady me, as if he sensed I was about to flee. “That’s not fair,” I declared.
“No,” he whispered. “It isn’t.” His forehead against mine, the touch gentle yet close, causing my chest to tighten. I disliked how instinctive it was, like my body remembered him before my mind did.
“I don’t want to lose control,” I admitted.
“You don’t have to,” he said. “I got you, Lori.”
Those were the words that shattered something inside me. I laughed softly, a bitter, humorless sound. “You really shouldn’t say things like that,” I whispered, my voice trembling.
“Then stop reacting like this when I do.” His hand slid from my waist to my lower back, fingers spreading, pulling me in just enough that I could feel the solid line of his body against mine. My breath hitched, my grip on his shirt tightening as if my body had already chosen.
“This doesn’t feel casual anymore,” I whispered.
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t.” I tilted my head back and kissed him before I could talk myself out of it. The kiss was immediate and deep, not rushed but hungry, as if it had been held back far too long and had finally snapped.
Theo’s hand moved up my back, firm and steady, holding me there as if he knew I’d unravel if he let go. My fingers slid into his hair, grounding me in the heat of him, the reality.
When we broke apart, my head was spinning. He stayed close, forehead against mine, breathing unevenly now. “This is how it starts,” I whispered.
“With you kissing me?” he asked.
“With me pretending I won’t think about you tomorrow,” I admitted quietly.
His mouth curved slowly. “And will you?” I didn’t respond because we both already knew. My phone buzzed on the table nearby, its sound sharp in the quiet room. I flinched, as reality snapped back into place like a rubber band.
Theo didn’t move away. He just watched me, eyes steady, his hand still warm at my back. “You don’t have to check it,” he said.
“That’s not the point.” I moved back a little, just enough to breathe. His hands settled on my hips, hesitantly, as if he were giving me space because I needed it, not because he wanted to. “This is meant to stay contained,” I said. “Scheduled and controlled.”
“And it has been,” he said calmly. “Until now.” I looked at him, really looked, and felt that quiet pull deep in my chest, one that scared me more than any physical desire. This didn’t feel new. It felt familiar in a way I couldn’t explain.
“You’re dangerous,” I whispered.
His smile was slow and soft. “So are you,” he countered.
I stepped back a few steps into the room, hoping some space might clear my mind. It didn’t. I sensed Theo behind me, his presence weighing heavily on me. “I didn’t mean to feel like this,” I admitted.
“I know.”
“I don’t want either of us to get hurt,” I whispered.
Theo once again closed the gap between us, pausing just before contact. His voice became calm and sincere. “Neither do I.”
I looked back at him, and the sincerity in his eyes caused something inside me to surrender. I moved closer, my hands gliding up his chest as if no other choice had ever existed.
Outside, a car passed by, its tires hissing on the street. Nearby, someone chuckled. The world kept turning, unaware of the silent collapse inside my apartment.
Theo’s hands found my waist again, steady and confident, as if he instinctively knew how this would go. I leaned into him, allowing my body to accept what my mind was still hesitant about.
This wasn’t just an attraction. It wasn’t just timing. It was the slow, terrifying realization that I’d already crossed the line I’d sworn I wouldn’t.
No boundary we created can save me now.
