Chapter 1
Childhood taught her one lesson very early—
people leave.
Her parents’ separation did not come with explanations, only silence. Her mother was always working, always tired, doing her best to survive. Love existed, but time did not. Care was there, but presence was missing.
At home, words were sharp. Relatives spoke without kindness. Some days, the house felt louder than the world outside. Other days, it felt painfully empty. Slowly, without realizing it, she stopped being herself.
By the time she grew older, fear had settled inside her bones.
What if everyone leaves?
That thought followed her everywhere.
So she stopped making friends.
At school, she sat alone. Ate alone. Walked alone.
Like a character from an old film—quiet meals, quiet nights, watching series by herself, falling asleep with no one to talk to.
She learned how to exist without being seen.
Her body often reflected what her heart carried. She fell sick many times. Weak. Tired. Exhausted—not just physically, but emotionally. By the time she reached the eighth grade, she was tired of herself. Tired of pretending she was strong.
One night, when loneliness felt heavier than usual, she spoke to Allah for the first time not as a ritual—but as truth.
“Help me. You are my only friend.”
She didn’t know it then, but that moment became a turning point.
Life did not change overnight. She fell sick again. Hospital rooms replaced classrooms. But in those sterile corridors, she met people who saw her differently—people who spoke to her with gentleness, who slowly helped her rebuild her confidence.
She began therapy. Counseling sessions followed. For the first time, she spoke about things she had buried for years. Healing came slowly, quietly, without drama.
By tenth grade, she was different.
She observed people laughing, joking, living freely. She watched them carefully—from a distance. She didn’t join in. She didn’t express much. She behaved like she didn’t care.
But inside, she was learning.
Learning how to stay.
Learning how to breathe.
Learning how to live—even before love arrived.
