Five More Minutes

The sun had not yet risen, but the small, plain clock on the corner of the bedside table began its usual song. 4:30 am, just like always, just like it always would be. Despite the minimalistic decor of the apartment, the room felt oddly cozy, especially in the early mornings. It could be perfect. It would be perfect not for the fact that they’d have to face another day of work. 

Stretching over to turn the alarm off, Hildy felt movement on the other side of the bed. Damn. Slowly, she wriggled back under the gray sheets. Holding her breath, she saw James’ back rise and fall slowly. Maybe this time he didn’t wake up. Maybe they could just stay in bed a little longer. Maybe they didn’t have to get up so early.

But this was James Wesley. A man who had gotten up at exactly 4:30 am on the dot for as long as she could remember. He would probably wake up on his own even without that stupid alarm.

“Were you going to wake me up?” His voice was smooth; with a hint of tenderness he rarely showed outside of their home. He rolled onto his back and looked at her.

Exhaling the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, Hildy smiled faintly. “Didn’t need to,” she whispered before closing her eyes.

She could feel his eyes on her, not moving, just watching.

Soon, he would sit up, kiss her forehead softly, get up, and open the curtains overlooking the ever so lovely Hell’s Kitchen. Any moment, he’d get up.

She didn’t open her eyes, perhaps because she didn’t want to see that tender morning look he always gave her fade away.

As she thought, he started to move. She still didn’t open her eyes. Then she felt his hands on her waist. Wait, what? That wasn’t part of the routine. He pulled her to the middle of the bed.

“Five more minutes.” He muttered into her hair.

She opened her eyes and saw the steady movement of his heartbeat under the blue cotton T-shirt. He was so perfect, so damn, unbearably perfect.

What could she possibly reply to that? Five more minutes. That was never an option for him.

It was such a small decision. It almost seemed silly to be so dumbfounded by such a small gesture. But she was. James Wesley broke his routine for the first time.

“Are you sure?” She was almost scared to ask. He might realize he shouldn’t and how ridiculous it was.

He didn’t speak, just exhaled deeply and nodded against her head.

Well this was nice. Unexpected, but a pleasant change. Who knew, maybe he would do this more often. Maybe next time it would be six minutes, fifteen minutes. Maybe he would take a day off.

Okay, don’t overthink it and definitely don’t push it.

Clutching onto his shirt, Hildy almost didn’t want to fall asleep and let the five minutes pass by so quickly. She wanted to feel him there, knowing he wasn’t going to move away, that he could be the guy he always tried to hide from the world. No, she wouldn’t fall asleep, just bask in the content feeling of having James like this with her for five precious minutes.

He was warm. How could a man who was always so cold and distant be so warm now? Hands holding onto her side so gently.

Hildy knew she wouldn’t be able to remember every second, but damn it, she would try.

God, why was life so unfair? Why couldn’t they do this more?

But that was the thing, she supposed, they would never get moments like this if it wasn’t for the life they chose.

She shouldn’t waste time thinking of the crappy parts of life at this moment. That was their promise. Don’t take work back home. Don’t think about work, don’t talk about work. Just be a couple. Be normal, act normal. Because if they didn’t in those moments, then life would grow colder and darker than it already was.

No matter how much they pretended, they needed this. She needed this at least. And this moment proved he did too.

He took another deep breath and hugged her tighter for a few seconds before pulling away.

“Alright.” He said as he sat up and stretched.

She didn’t move, just watched him stand up and head towards the window.

With one swift motion, he opened the curtains to reveal the dim sky of the city. Just up ahead, a sliver of light could be seen creeping over the buildings.

“Sleep well?” He didn’t turn away from the window.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

They wouldn’t mention the extra time. Most people wouldn’t even think about it. It was such a mundane thing, why would someone?

Maybe they were too head strong or didn’t want to mention the sad thought that no, they weren’t able to take small moments like that for granted. But Hildy supposed that made it all the better.