Meeting with muse
He felt excitment of possibility to meet her at least he hoped for it.
He sit quetly.
„What I will tell her?“, he started to thonk about.
He couldnt answered that question how he was on the edge of excitment, and fear.
„One Latte“, he said to a waiter that walked by.
The waiter nodded, to let him know that he accepted his order, and he began clearing the table behind him.
„Latte?, seriously... Latte?“, his feeling started doubt his sensitive side.
„Are you a girl that is pretending to be some sort of lady?“, said aloud fear.
He turned to the waiter again and changed the order.
„I’m just nervous...“, he said aloud to calm down, and be patient again.
„Yes, you are, but still.. Latté??“, repeated a voice.
He didn’t feel like asking or examining what sort of feeling tries to defend what man should drink.
„She would understand that“, he tried to finish unexpected discusion.
„Maybe.“, was a short answer.
„Im sure that definitely she would!.“, he declared and loosened his tie.
His body again found an ease. The fear was closed so he he looked around and he was relieved as the room showed no signs of disintegration of reality.
Everything seemed to be stable.
„Hopefully I can meet her today“, he wished silently.
The cafe door jingled and he instinctively turned in the way of the sound and saw a gorgeous woman. Dressed up in a sparkling long robe. She was beutiuful and looked exactly like Gal Gadot from one of her movies, just dressed in geen dress.
“Would it be her?” he said under touch of big suprise.
„Maybe she is.“, he heard an answer.
The feeling that somebody was messing with him started iching his body.
The woman in the green dress turned in his way and smiled.
He was shocked by it, and turned back.
He heard a chuckle and realized that somebody was sitting against him, already.
A girl, not older than 15 years
Gal walked to his place...
... she looked confused as somebody whose sitting place was already occupied and
vanished as a steam in front of his eyes.
„Who are you?“, he asked more sharply than he intended.
„Your muse, after all“, answered the little girl gently.
„That latte would be a better choice, this type of coffee is not a friend to my teeth“, she shared with him amused by the situation, and siped again.
„So here I am“, she stood up and turned in circles so he could see the whole of her.
She looked like the girl from a movie about Freddie Kruger who was skipping the rope and singing
„One and two ...“
He tried to unsuccessfully swallow the frightening feeling.
She sat back and gave him an innocent look.
„Don’t worry it will be good“, tried his heart to convince him.
„So.., Are you ready?“, asked the Muse
He couldn’t even ask, „ on what?“ as the sudden change took him by surprise.
„No!“, was a chance of answer to re - gain control of situation.
„Ah dont worry.. it will be fun you will see“, she said as if his answer didnt realy matter than she snapt with her fingers and ..
... the waiter that was taking their empty glasses from the table vanished, so sudden, entire cozy cafe area followed her silent desision to be somewhere else..
His eager part that wanted to meet her was trembling in shock of her power over the place.
He faced even more impactfull surprise while his eyes returned back to the present moment...
... whatsoever it was
They were standing on the tip peak of snowy mountains.
The snowflakes were falling down and the harsh wind almost took all his breath away from his chest.
He was trying to reach the deepset place within to refind the warm and safe felling of couffe shop. There wasnt a space to hide, to be safe and warm, not within, nor anywhere near.
„WHERE ARE WE!?!?!“, he tried to scream out the snowy blowing wind.
„No need to yell, my love. I can hear you clearly. Im standing right by your side after all, dont I?“, she whispered back as innocently she could.
He could sense how she was amused by her actions.
He could catch by his eyesside a shape of her, but he would not bet all in, that she looked alike he remmeber.
He was loosing her picture as the snow were falling strongly, so his mind wasnt sure that he is not alone there.
Out of suddan he saw her again.
She was higher and slimer. Her hair were loose and playfull in the wind. While he would not be fearfull of her, he would be definetely amazed by her.
„Putt it on“, she told him, holding a red warm jacket.
„Where are we?, he asked again.
„Its not important“, she replied casually.
„but what imporant definetely is ... , ... what we will doing here“, she pointed out.
„... so, what we are doing here than?“, he asked with worries.
„We are mapping your fears, my love, ... such a fun“, she reaplied, and than pointed down.
„Now we jump from the clif and we will see what will happen next“, she said boldly.
His breath stopped.
„Dooontt wooorry all will be finnneeee“, she mimicked his voice.
She appear from nowhere by his side and her arms wrapped him around his shoulders.
... she was the litle akward girl again.
„So, are you ready to grab your fear as rising eagle, or will you rather.... hundred thousand stairs to walk to experience the vastness and nearenest of your fears?“, she said and turned straight to him, looked deeply into his ducking eyes.
He couldnt ressit her gaze... even ... ... it was kind and generouss ... he started to feel as he knew those eyes ...
... such familiar eyes.
He was sure that he knew them, confidentely sure, about that.
„Here you go, you can make up your own desision“, her voice filled up silent space.
He was so unconfortable again by her intitation.
She loudly laught and took his hand under her warm ones.
.
„Come from the cold wind, my dear or you will freeze here to death, and it would be so pitty end of all , she said kindly.
„Is she making fun of me, or she likes me, am I safe with her, or in danger?“, he didnt know the answer of those silent questions that were touching his heart at that moment.
„Ohh ... , ... I will see.“, he said for himself.
„No need to be worry, Im just teasing you ... “
„.. we wouldn’t jump off the cliff after all, this is not a dream, or is it?!“, she winked and smiled.
He didnt know where he is, or with whom he was, and he just hoped that it will be good, that at the end, it will be good.
...
They apeared in the cave.
He would swear that they didnt enter into it, but somehow the cave itself happend and swallowed them.
He looked around to found out if it is a dream, or not.
„Yayks!!!“, he squeaked loudly and swang his arm.
She pinched him with her colorfull nails.
„Im sorry, I thought it will help you to focus!“, she spoke up, almost, offended.
He hug himslef by his hands to contain whatever will happen next.
At least they were out of the wild wind.
His mind almost started to dream to stay here, to make a bonfire, and wait until the storm will pass over.
...
...
„Unless it wasnt a dream therefore the storm could be infinite.“, he realized.
The fog in his brain vanished under that insight.
His arm went up. Lips getting warmer to say aloud his feelings.
Her eyes were kind and lips faster.
„Hey I came becouse you wished for it, and Im here to show you what you are afraid off. So put yourself together and go“, she said strictly and pushed him forward.
His reaction was too too slow, his right foot slipped as it found an empty space on the floor, again the sudden surprise took all of his comfort away
He was so sure that this is not good at all...
.. it was quite opposite of everything that he could name good, or at least fine .
... and yet in the end of two possibilities he was falling.
His body rolled over undiscovered space, hole in the dark infornt of him ...
.. and his hand touched a stair there, and his right foot another one
.. he was rolling down a staircase of thousand, hard, old, stairs ...
The staircase changed into a water slide before he could realize of any possibility of injuring himself.
„So it is a dream, after all“, his mind declared.
The fall shifted into sliding joy, water helped to speed up slowly, and the excitment filled up his body and when the body, as an empty jar, was full ...,
... the exitment was still raising up, than the boy started to scream, not frighten, just grabed by excitment.
He almost felt safe like he was slidding down in betwen feet of familiar adult as he remembered once, or twice during his childhood.
It was so cool that he forgot everything of what happend from the moment Gal Gaddot vanished in coffe shop, infront of his eyes.
The ending of the ride appeared all of sudden, and the excitement was gone, so quick, and easy as the light of candle near oppened window.
He was standing all alone in the dark, the space was wide as it was on the top of that mountain.
Just there wasnt any light, only darkness.
The anxiety took the place in return, another blessing yet to come.
There was a sighn of light somewhere ahead of him, in the middle of the room.
If it was a room, there wasnt any walls he could notice near or far.
Light was soft, barely visible, and he got an idea that somebody lit up, just for him.
Muse was standing silently behind him and she found her self cautgh by emotions of love.
She was here with a lot of people, but never after all that acidity, pushing, and teasing, never there was a gentle flame of candle.
„Somebody is waiting for you there, maybe, hope ??“, she spoke out keeping her face straight.
She didn’t wanted to let him know her feelings.
The spark of excitment came again.
He looked on her and the spark was almost gone again. She had a form of Claun with baloons that looked exactly as the one from the story of „It“.
„I dont know“, he replied hopefully.
... even under the exitment he still couldnt find a courage to do the step in that direction ..
.. of hope.
„To whom to trust ..., where to put one‘s trust, love... , and how?“, was a voiceless beat of his heart.
„Uncertainty... “, she said and was again herself, the unpredictable girl in white gray cotton dress.
„Uncertainty!“, she said second times and hardly stamped the floor by her foot.
All of sudden a carpet appeared under his feet as she stamped again...
... the wave took the end of the carpet and was moving to the place he stood, still stil.
His legs were as old roots of dead tree and the incoming bounce of wave alowed them to find an aliveness of their warm flesh form...
.. the bounce came again ...
.. and he needed to do few steps ahead to refind stability for himself.
„Sometimes even the light of life can be scary“, she shouted on him, still as a claun.
He was all alone, again.
He did an uncertain step forward to the vast darkness, not knowing if his foot will lean on the floor, or he will discovere another hole, another layer down.
His wiligness to re-a-set the stabillity let him known that there is a solid ground...
.. and he was walking through the silent presence of nothighness.
If there be a small drop of watter falling down the sound of the touch of ground will distrurb the sacredness of all..
He started to watch his steps, and his body started to sweat, as hemissplaced his attention.
The fear came and walk with him as chatting old friend, and he started to sence himself as intruder that is disturbing the holiness of holy darkness.
He almost was hearing the unspoken sentence:
„HEY YOU, WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE“
„YEAH YOU... “
„Fear?!“, he whispered as he recognized it.
He was aware of the feelings of fear and his own restlessness.
It was unusual recognition of to be aware what is happening within him.
He finaly arived on the edge of the yellow light circle and he saw an angel there. He was tall, slim, and familiar ..
.. he knew the figure, he would bet all in, on that.
The angel of that space went to him and embranced him.
„You finally see me“, whispered his touch.
Safeness filled him completely.
„Find a peace here and let it is with you, anywhere you will go. Im with you wherever you go. We cannot be separated, this light is you, we are one“, was the sound of movement to setting back to oneself..
Grace of peace was rising within, soul and it owerflowed to entire place.
The fear was gone, and the darkness, was just darkness.
„I was really scared. I was very afraid of life, death, dream and day“, he realized.
„Good feeling, how rare is to feel good. Nobody doesnt have a power to take it from me, just I can dim it, so thankfull to you that you showed it to me, that is possible to rediscover it again.“, he whispered to his Muse, to his heart.
Tears of peace were flowing from his eyes, and didn’t cause any disturbance by touching the floor.
Whole place was glowing in joy and the Muse, which looked exactly as Gal Gadot in greeen dresses was standing by his side ...
... smiling and moved by her tears.
He was dreaming pleassable dream where he was guided by his frolicsome muse to find guardian angel.
.. to find whole himself, united.
Such a gift to be alive.
